Friday, December 27, 2013

Panahon Ng Pagpapatawad...

.:Not Today, Pal...:.

In the vernacular, there is an expression that goes "ang Pasko ay ang panahon ng pagpapatawad," and they don't mean carolers. It's a sentiment that makes little sense, really: why would Christmas time be an extra-special time to forgive someone? Wouldn't any other given day do just fine, especially if you're not particularly a fan of Christmas, such as I am?

But no, I tried, anyways. Reached out to someone who I felt really wronged me. And it made me feel even worse.

I hate the holidays, really. Not a fan, and quite frankly, seeing how "appreciation" doesn't really count for much in this planet anyways, I'm surprised I even managed to live through this pointless merriment.

If I didn't love you, if I didn't love you like crazy...

I got to thinking about it, while I was having lunch with my best friend, Abby. Haven't seen her in a while, but it was good to note that she was in very high spirits, and I even ended up with an unexpected present from her, as well as an unexpected guest in Mike Unson. And as usual, we forgot to have a picture taken, but whatever.

Thanks for the present, though.

Thing is, as we were talking with each other over lunch at Greenbelt, I realized that inasmuch as I rarely can keep a grudge, the few that I manage to keep tend to be very difficult to let go of, indeed. And that's why I really can't help but feel very off by this  whole enterprise. Forgiveness should come naturally, not because of a particular season, per se.

So it isn't time to forgive you just yet. Maybe I will, maybe I never will. Either way, you sleep soundly at night, anyways, not giving a damn how I feel about what you have done to me. So what does it matter, right?

.:Which Leads Me To This...:.

Look, I don't really have any plans on telling you what to do or what not to do, but after all that talk about 7107, and the fact that the organizers have professional ties to Jeff Napoles, count me out of even wanting to be anywhere near the venue unless they categorically go on record to deny this. And no, the oblique attempts at sidestepping the issue they offered me over Twitter certainly don't offer me any comfort, whatsoever.

But if I can't forgive people who have wronged me too soon, the last thing I intend to do is to "forgive" the Napoles family for pretty much taking our nation's coffers as their own personal ATM, and, if Mo Twister is to be believed when it comes to this whole 7107 issue, charging us tickets for it. Imagine that. Our money was stolen, and we have to pay them even more money?

"But it isn't true, right? I mean, it's Mo Twister we're talking about here!" Newsflash: Mo Twister is a lot of things, but a liar, he is not. That is a well-known fact about him, because however outspoken and off the wall Mo happens to be, he wouldn't just make something like this up for no discernible gain, whatsoever.

I'm not casting my hat into the veracity of the claims. I won't be here to tell you if it's true or not, nor will I be here to cite to you the many people who swear to me that my worst fears about the 7107 festival are true. And least of all, I have no desire to tell you what to do with your money if you really want to see the Red Hot Chili Peppers or the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus that bad. And really, who am I to tell you a single damned thing, really? I'm not a celebrity. I'm not an organizer, or a politician, or anything of the sort. 

But you know what I happen to be? A taxpayer. And because I am one, I choose to speak out with my wallet, because I want to know. Hell, I need to know. Categorically. Explicitly. I don't want weasel words or half-truths and obfuscations. I've been in PR long enough to know better than to buy into that. I want something on the record.

In any case, if they're not willing to give me that much, on the basis of me not being someone worth addressing, that's cool, too. I guess it makes more sense why the Binays of this world get to ask people "Hindi mo ba ako kilala?" and get away with it with utmost impunity: you only have a voice if you're big enough, not when you actually have something legitimate to say. Who am I, really? I'm just a taxpayer who doesn't want to contribute another centavo to the Napoles bank account. No big deal.

But hey, if matters of integrity are of no import to them, and if it makes them sleep better at night, by all means, just go right ahead and call me a "hater" and ignore me, even if I want to believe this whole thing is on the level. It's a free country, and I'm sure enough people will buy tickets to your festival and not care who actually funded the damned thing.

One does wonder how Lourd De Veyra, frontman of Radioactive Sago Project, feel about the whole thing, though, seeing as he's slated to perform for the festival.

Para sa mga Napoles, hindi ngayon ang panahon ng pagpapatawad. At marahil, hinding-hindi na ito darating pa para sa kanila, hangga't sa lantaran pa rin silang nakikinabang sa pinagpawisang salapi ng bawat mamamayang Pilipino.

Thursday, December 26, 2013

The 2013 Year-In-Review Survey

.:The 2013 Year-In-Review:.

1. What did you do in 2012 that you'd never done before?

I went abroad on my own.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I could have sworn I kept a resolution, but I don't quite know if it went appreciated. Check last year's resolution, if you're wondering what it was.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Kathy Chua (again)!

4. Did anyone close to you die?

My grandmother from my father's side passed away January this year. Other than that, not really.

5. What countries did you visit?

Australia, and most likely in a few days, Singapore.

6. What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013?

Love. I think it's time. Dammit, didn't I say this last year?

7. What date from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

The entirety of my trip in Australia, I guess? That was a couple of weeks in June, and it definitely shaped how the rest of my year turned out to be.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Went viral several times over again this year, especially with the Anne Curtis list, and there was a momentous accomplishment during my Australia trip that I'm not exactly at liberty to discuss.

9. What was your biggest failure?

The inability to seal the deal and actually make good on making something lasting out of my trip.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

A lot of sore throats.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Now that I think about it, I haven't really bought anything of note this year, except maybe a plane ticket and some cards, as I got back into the thick of Magic: The Gathering this year.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

My new friend, Chiqui, who really made good on her dream of making it into radio. Probably Pomelo as well, given how far we've come as friends now.

13. Whose behavior appalled you and made you depressed?

 I'd rather not name these people, especially since one of them supposedly merited celebration last year. So much for that. There's also that time someone stole a gig from me and attempted to do it a second time. 

14. Where did most of your money go?

Food, a plane ticket, and Magic: The Gathering. Also, maybe a bit into Tekken on iOS.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

The Australia trip. Notice a running theme here?

16. What song will always remind you of 2013?

"Neseye Ne Eng Lehet" - Daniel Padilla

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? – sadder
ii. thinner or fatter? – fatter
iii. richer or poorer? – poorer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Paid shows, and listening to my own advice.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Emotional eating.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

It was pretty quiet. In fact, I mostly slept through it.

21. Did you fall in love in 2013?

There was nothing new here. What was then still is now - and I hate it.

22. How many one-night stands?

Straight-edge, remember?

23. What was your favorite TV program?

WWE Raw and Smackdown, and Elementary. Lucy Liu is love.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

No, but I might be getting there.

25. What was the best book you read?

The Hunger Games? Although I realize I actually read The Game last year.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I went mostly with classics this year. The Robin Thickes of our year weren't particularly definitive to me, although "Roar" by Katy Perry did have some merit to it.

27. What did you want and not get?

One more chance. (Still! For four years and counting!)

28. Favorite film of this year?

On. The. Job.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

There wasn't anything important going on the day I turned 30. At least, not to my recollection. I was just working and making lists.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

One more chance. But hey, maybe I should stop thinking next year would be any better?

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?

Outside of that so-called makeover I had with Uniqlo? Meh.

32. What kept you sane?, the 8List, and Magic: The Gathering.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

It was a renaissance of my infatuation for Lucy Liu!

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

Janet freaking Napoles.

35. Who did you miss?

That feeling that things would get better if only I held on for one more day. So more of a "what" than a "who," since missing someone who doesn't miss me back is kind of pointless anyways.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

Chiqui. No doubt. Christa and Jona figure in there, somewhere, too.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013.

"Thank you" is a beautiful pair of words - until they're used in response to "I love you."

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

How long will I love you, long as the stars are above you - and longer, if I can.

Mission Accomplished, But It Gets Lonely Up There

.:Now I Can Breathe...:.

Mayhem accomplished!

It was an epic weekend, to put it mildly. As I was there, hosting the big show in Solaire, with Rex Navarette and Mike Unson as the featured performers, I really couldn't help but feel very happy that I was set to close my 2013 with a bang, as far as my hosting and magic were concerned. It was a whole lot more than I could have ever asked for.

Couple that with the fact that I had an amazing time the next day despite being a zombie, as I hosted Sean and Hai's wedding, and spent the day with the JGL. It was definitely a great time with Clair, JM, Sacha, Wayne, Peppy, Diane, Mark, and of course, the newlyweds, as I squeezed in as many Rick Astley lyrics and Mario references as I could throughout the reception. It was a blast, really. An absolute blast.

This has been a fairly quiet 2013 for my performance career, but with Switch and standup and mentalism and even more hosting to come soon, I couldn't be more excited at the inroads this year's experiences has managed to pave. It's been a blast, and it's only going to get better in 2014.

.:But There Are Times...:.

Weddings always have that effect on me. I'm so happy for the couple, but I can't help but wonder about where I'm headed. If I'd ever find myself in the same state.

I've gotten rather jaded lately, and the fact that I'm a Christmas grinch, and there I was at a wedding so near Christmas, so you can just imagine how that bodes for my emotional state. I won't harp on the whole "malamig ang Pasko" bit, seeing as it won't be long before I end up vituperating about February 14 soon enough, but damn, it does get lonely from where I stand. 

I hate it because there have been so many words said, so many things done, yet in the end, it's little more than lip service, and the status quo still remains. I'm not happy with it. I'm definitely far from satisfied with it, and all the so-called gratitude in the world feels more and more empty when everything becomes just a one-sided parody of what a relationship between two people is supposed to be.

I don't know where I am. I don't know where I'm headed. And the notion that I'm cluelessly hurtling towards the rest of my life has ceased to excite me, and has begun to alarm me. 

Friday, December 20, 2013

The Calm Before The Storm

.:First, Autobiographical Stuff:.

I must say, I really enjoyed the company outing last week. Although mine was abruptly cut short because I had to go back to Manila ASAP so I can do my magic show, that' just fine, really. I'm just happy I managed to enjoy the company of some of my co-workers in a non-work setting, although the multiple injuries that came about thanks to the insane team-building exercises they planned for us definitely took the cake.

I even managed to sneak in a bit of ToyCon, along with a bit of time with the good ol' barkada and improv comedy. That's a bit of an achievement and quite possibly the busiest weekend ever, to boot.

But yeah, that's all I have for now. In the meantime though, please make sure to catch Rex Navarette at Solaire tomorrow night, featuring Mike Unson. I will be hosting that night! :D

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Off To Boracay!

See you guys after this weekend, as I will be heading out tomorrow morning for Boracay for the office outing. Still, I'll be on air with Chiqui on the Rowdy Empire tonight, so do check us out from 9-12 midnight on WAVE 891 tonight.

I know, I know. Blogging has been really delinquent lately, but have you seen the stuff I've been putting up on the 8List? Wow. I'm on a rampage!

There's also my latest POC article on Manny Pacquiao and Nelson Mandela, by the way.

Life has been hectic lately, but I couldn't be more grateful.