.:The End Of An Era:.
In recent days, things have been changing with a flurry. It's not easy to understand the reasons why, but things clearly are moving at a pace I could barely keep up with.
A few weeks ago, and I'm afraid I have nothing in the way of pictures to show for it, Nuffnang Philippines officially announced that they were closing their doors. It was surprising, and as the night whiled away, I couldn't help but wonder what happened, especially with all the news going on about the owners and their lawsuits, it's insane, to say the least.
It was great reconnecting with former co-Nuffies, and fellow bloggers alike. That evening really stood out in stark contrast to my mostly mundane life ever since I've prepared for the big leap. And as I fondly recall the simpler times of 2009-2012, when a cab to The Fort would only cost me 180 bucks, and riding to work even at rush hour never took longer than 45 minutes, I realize that as times change, so do I. People I used to look at a certain way, I view very differently now, often for the better.
But I'm rambling. Nuffnang was definitely a great time in my life, and though that chapter is clearly closing now, I come away from it a far better person than coming into it. And not a moment too soon.
.:The Start Of Something New:.
If you told me in 2015 that I would be making a big leap of faith like the one I make in a few days, I would have laughed in your face. But see, the last three years has been a true test of character-building if I ever had any.
But with the coming typhoon spoiling my (real, actual) des.pe.di.da, I guess this leaves me no choice but to say my piece here, instead of elsewhere.
By the time you're reading this, I'm already where I should be, as I'm scheduling this post, instead of putting it up immediately after writing it. It was unbelievable for me to end up here, but here I am. And a lot of that has to do with The Hun, who made it possible for me to see my potential at the tender age of freaking 35.
While a part of me was satisfied being sarcastic on the internet and quipping about the government, more needed to be done with my life. I want to do something that really lasts and allows me to challenge myself in ways I've never been challenged before. As a comedy mentalist who has minimally plied his trade in the last couple of years, it's time that changed, and for that to happen, a change of environment is necessity: I've allowed myself to go stale. I've been too complacent, if nothing else.
So now, we enter the unknown, and challenge whatever comes our way. I may be clueless where we're headed, but thanks to The Hun, I'm confident we'll get there. We always have for the last three years. That won't change at all, I know.
There are so many goodbyes to be said. But instead, to everyone, from family to friends, allow me instead to just say thank you.
Sa inang bayan na nagmulat sa akin sa katotohanan, at humubog sa aking pagkatao, lubos ang aking pagpapasalamat. Ito ay isang pansamantalang pagpapaalam lamang. Magkikita tayong muli, at hindi mawawala ang alab ng aking puso para sa Perlas ng Silangan, magpakailanman.
Showing posts with label reflection. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reflection. Show all posts
Friday, September 21, 2018
Sunday, May 08, 2016
Via Negativa, Or Why I'm Abstaining
.:Via Negativa, Or Why I'm Abstaining:.
I was supposed to write about something else, but on the eve of the elections, this seemed very important to talk about.
I am abstaining for president this coming elections. This was not a simple conclusion I came to. In fact, throughout the campaign period, I was trying to find a candidate who can sway me otherwise.
Unfortunately, none of them have managed to do that.
I have a Vice President (Leni Robredo), and I have two senators I will fight for (Susan Ople, TG Guingona). Anyone else, I am ambivalent about at best.
But I'm sure, given how many people have decided that they respect anyone's opinion unless it's "I abstain for president," that a lot of people are wondering how I arrived at that conclusion, and why I'm sticking by it after a couple of months that I could have changed my mind.
If we wanted to find the perfect candidate from a pool of candidates, how do we find them? Well, one can do it by looking at their merits, and then adding up the one with most merits, but that doesn't really settle the question of perfection, right? To find perfection, you had to find someone who lacked imperfection. It is the concept of via negativa: a process of elimination in order to find the best. After all, if something has an imperfection, how can it be perfect at all? Only through a process of elimination can we find what we are willing to put up with.
Obviously, we cannot expect perfection from our candidates. That is why we instead need to look at our own personal deal breakers, and see what is the worst that we can accept. From there, and only from there, can we proceed to look at the merits, if any. I recognize other people may do it backwards, but for me, I have to start with what I cannot accept, before I go with things I actually like about the candidates.
For example, I cannot accept a candidate who would cite scripture as an excuse for persecuting homosexuals, especially when they would say that they should be put to death. I do not care if they brought us international pride by winning boxing championships or if they pushed for the abolition of the pork barrel.
On the other hand, while I don't like political dynasties, I am willing to give a guy who believes they're okay a pass so long as they're Dick f'n Gordon. Officially, there's a lot more nuance to that, but you get my point.
And that leads us to our five presidentiables.
1. Mar Roxas
I could not overlook Mar's apathy and his inability to relate to people. If a president does not know where I am coming from, how can I be sure that he will understand me when I want to be heard? The past six years has been a painful exercise of tolerating the Aquino administration in its own echo chamber where they can do no wrong. Despite the good they have done, I cannot, in good conscience, allow that to have "continuity." There is insensitivity here, and it does us no good to just call the people who feel shortchanged or are suffering as merely "haters," when we should at least listen to their plight first.
I also cannot tolerate cronyism, especially the kind that gives people like Abaya or Purisima the ability to keep carrying on as if they have done nothing wrong, or at least haven't been particularly competent at their jobs.
2. Jejomar Binay
Binay's allegations of corruption are so glaring and so difficult to ignore, and his attitude of impunity towards it is what I find unconscionable. This is a man who will ignore any criticism far worse than the Aquino administration ever did, and that is alarming. I don't think I need to explain my stand on him much, do I?
Jejomar Binay will not be beholden to you once he wins. Let's leave it at that.
3. Grace Poe
There are only three oh-so-basic requirements for president: you are of age (40), you are literate, and you are a Filipino.
I don't care about Grace Poe being adopted. I care that at some point in her life, she actively renounced being Filipino. You might think this is shallow, but this is not, because how much lower can the requirements for president be, in the first place We don't ask them to have completed any form of education, we don't ask about their health and well-being, or their financial status. These three are as basic as they get, yet Grace Poe can hardly meet them, and purely in principle, could never meet them.
That she is also likely to just continue being Danding Cojuangco's puppet is something I simply cannot stand by, either.
4. Rody Duterte
I don't care about his cussing, much less if it were directed to the Pope. I'm a bit worried, but I can even understand why he is sympathetic towards the NPA, so even that, I can sort of handwave. I do care about what he says, though, because it encourages some of his followers to demean women, gay people, and people with disabilities. I cannot just handwave that away. You can say that he has done so much in terms of laws to protect these people, but is that enough of an excuse to actively break that protection when it's him doing the talking?
But even that is debatable. We all have some nasty opinions that we might shake off when the going gets tough, but the fact remains that he has actively promised a lot of killing in the effort of cleaning up this country. I am not a criminal. I am not a pusher. But in Duterte's promised land, nothing prevents a cop to one day think I looked at them wrong and insist I am a criminal or a pusher, giving him more than enough reason shoot me dead on the spot.
Or were we all going to magically assume that there are no crooked cops in this country at all?
The fact is, I value our civil liberties and our rights too much to want to give them up on the altar of peace and order.
5. Miriam Santiago
Oh, what could have been! I didn't care about the cancer. And then she backed Bongbong Marcos. That, my friends, was a betrayal of principle that I couldn't stand. Oh, sure, she backed Erap. And then Gloria. But the Marcoses? I can't even.
.:And So, We Come Down To This...:.
And with all that in mind, none of the candidates could ever hope to convince me to vote for them, because they hit dealbreakers I wasn't willing to compromise. I am but one vote, but on May 16, that #abstain (technically, a #Seneres2016 vote) will be heard because if I want change, it starts by not lowering my standards. Because ultimately, change comes from within, and all our leaders can do is to facilitate that change.
To everyone else who feels compelled to abstain, I remind you that there is no shame in doing so. Some people might say that we are abstaining because we do not have any principles to stand upon. I am saying right now that the opposite is true: I am abstaining precisely because the principles I stand upon are more important to me than a single candidate.
There is nothing wrong with you having different principles from me. I fully accept that to some, Duterte's willingness to "do what is necessary" is a good thing, and not a bad thing. Or that Mar's being out of touch cannot overshadow the great stuff he has done. Or that Poe's citizenship is a non-issue compared to what she brings to the table. Or Miriam's intellect and need for funds for a national campaign outweighs her unholy alliance with BBM. Or that everyone is corrupt anyways, but Binay showed he can do well, thanks to (wait for it...) Makati.
Unfortunately, there would be all sorts of things wrong if I am willing to give up my principles just so I have something to shade this Monday. I refuse to, and that is my right. Abstaining is a choice, and it is not the same as not having voted at all.The sooner people can respect that, the sooner we could stop thinking that every person who is abstaining is simply undecided. You are wrong. I am decidedly not undecided. In fact, I am very sure that we, the Filipino people, deserved better. And just because we aren't getting that this 2016 doesn't mean I will cede my right to say so just so I can vote for a sub-par candidate in my mind and heart.
If one is unwilling to settle just to find their one true love, why would we settle just to find the next person to lead this country for the coming six years? I believe we deserved better, and I make no pretenses that such a position is loftier or more enlightened than anyone who has decided we have a worthy candidate among the five. It is simply one that I have arrived at after lengthy, careful consideration, as most of you reading this right now surely have with your own positions.
We have been thrust by the people running for power into a climate of fear: fear of continuing the ills that this government has demonstrated in the past six years. Fears of the change to come that it might undo the democracy we have fought so hard to win back in 1986. Fears of a seemingly ever-rising crime rate that belies real numbers and magnifies only the worst among us. Fears of an economy crashing down with the prospect of uncertain territories with a president the international community is derisive of. Fears of cheating. Of thievery. Of lies. Of death.
Nation, the real enemy has always been fear. Because in giving in to the fears manufactured by the political machinery, we have ended up fearing our neighbors, thinking them to be monsters or morons. They are not. They are our countrymen. And our countrymen should never have been our enemy in the first place.
Tomorrow, vote as your mind, heart, and conscience tells you. Not the surveys. Not the pressure. And by Great Caesar's Ghost, not the fear. Fear is the enemy. Not ourselves.
And that is why, in the face of all manner of opposition, I choose to abstain from voting for a president in 2016. Because I have more faith in the Filipino people than I do in these five individuals.
I am most certain that my faith was not misplaced.
"Compromise where you can. Where you can't, don't. Even if everyone is telling you that something wrong is something right. Even if the world is telling you to move, it is your duty to plant yourself like a tree, look them in the eye, and say, 'no, you move.'"
I was supposed to write about something else, but on the eve of the elections, this seemed very important to talk about.
I am abstaining for president this coming elections. This was not a simple conclusion I came to. In fact, throughout the campaign period, I was trying to find a candidate who can sway me otherwise.
Unfortunately, none of them have managed to do that.
I have a Vice President (Leni Robredo), and I have two senators I will fight for (Susan Ople, TG Guingona). Anyone else, I am ambivalent about at best.
But I'm sure, given how many people have decided that they respect anyone's opinion unless it's "I abstain for president," that a lot of people are wondering how I arrived at that conclusion, and why I'm sticking by it after a couple of months that I could have changed my mind.
If we wanted to find the perfect candidate from a pool of candidates, how do we find them? Well, one can do it by looking at their merits, and then adding up the one with most merits, but that doesn't really settle the question of perfection, right? To find perfection, you had to find someone who lacked imperfection. It is the concept of via negativa: a process of elimination in order to find the best. After all, if something has an imperfection, how can it be perfect at all? Only through a process of elimination can we find what we are willing to put up with.
Obviously, we cannot expect perfection from our candidates. That is why we instead need to look at our own personal deal breakers, and see what is the worst that we can accept. From there, and only from there, can we proceed to look at the merits, if any. I recognize other people may do it backwards, but for me, I have to start with what I cannot accept, before I go with things I actually like about the candidates.
For example, I cannot accept a candidate who would cite scripture as an excuse for persecuting homosexuals, especially when they would say that they should be put to death. I do not care if they brought us international pride by winning boxing championships or if they pushed for the abolition of the pork barrel.
Not pictured: Senator material.
On the other hand, while I don't like political dynasties, I am willing to give a guy who believes they're okay a pass so long as they're Dick f'n Gordon. Officially, there's a lot more nuance to that, but you get my point.
Or his *point,* for that matter, if you know what I mean? #IpasokSiDick
And that leads us to our five presidentiables.
1. Mar Roxas
The Tito joke, personified.
I could not overlook Mar's apathy and his inability to relate to people. If a president does not know where I am coming from, how can I be sure that he will understand me when I want to be heard? The past six years has been a painful exercise of tolerating the Aquino administration in its own echo chamber where they can do no wrong. Despite the good they have done, I cannot, in good conscience, allow that to have "continuity." There is insensitivity here, and it does us no good to just call the people who feel shortchanged or are suffering as merely "haters," when we should at least listen to their plight first.
I also cannot tolerate cronyism, especially the kind that gives people like Abaya or Purisima the ability to keep carrying on as if they have done nothing wrong, or at least haven't been particularly competent at their jobs.
He's not helping, either.
2. Jejomar Binay
The only thing transparent about him is his barong.
Binay's allegations of corruption are so glaring and so difficult to ignore, and his attitude of impunity towards it is what I find unconscionable. This is a man who will ignore any criticism far worse than the Aquino administration ever did, and that is alarming. I don't think I need to explain my stand on him much, do I?
Jejomar Binay will not be beholden to you once he wins. Let's leave it at that.
Nor his kids.
3. Grace Poe
Needs more denim jackets.
There are only three oh-so-basic requirements for president: you are of age (40), you are literate, and you are a Filipino.
I don't care about Grace Poe being adopted. I care that at some point in her life, she actively renounced being Filipino. You might think this is shallow, but this is not, because how much lower can the requirements for president be, in the first place We don't ask them to have completed any form of education, we don't ask about their health and well-being, or their financial status. These three are as basic as they get, yet Grace Poe can hardly meet them, and purely in principle, could never meet them.
That she is also likely to just continue being Danding Cojuangco's puppet is something I simply cannot stand by, either.
4. Rody Duterte
I can almost imagine how something as innocuous as this
photo would make diehards scream, "Bayaran! Bias ka!"
I don't care about his cussing, much less if it were directed to the Pope. I'm a bit worried, but I can even understand why he is sympathetic towards the NPA, so even that, I can sort of handwave. I do care about what he says, though, because it encourages some of his followers to demean women, gay people, and people with disabilities. I cannot just handwave that away. You can say that he has done so much in terms of laws to protect these people, but is that enough of an excuse to actively break that protection when it's him doing the talking?
But even that is debatable. We all have some nasty opinions that we might shake off when the going gets tough, but the fact remains that he has actively promised a lot of killing in the effort of cleaning up this country. I am not a criminal. I am not a pusher. But in Duterte's promised land, nothing prevents a cop to one day think I looked at them wrong and insist I am a criminal or a pusher, giving him more than enough reason shoot me dead on the spot.
Or were we all going to magically assume that there are no crooked cops in this country at all?
The fact is, I value our civil liberties and our rights too much to want to give them up on the altar of peace and order.
The altar of Mystica, on the other hand...
5. Miriam Santiago
Was she in the same library as Binay was?
Oh, what could have been! I didn't care about the cancer. And then she backed Bongbong Marcos. That, my friends, was a betrayal of principle that I couldn't stand. Oh, sure, she backed Erap. And then Gloria. But the Marcoses? I can't even.
If the word "sayang" ever made its way to the dictionary, this picture would accompany it.
.:And So, We Come Down To This...:.
And with all that in mind, none of the candidates could ever hope to convince me to vote for them, because they hit dealbreakers I wasn't willing to compromise. I am but one vote, but on May 16, that #abstain (technically, a #Seneres2016 vote) will be heard because if I want change, it starts by not lowering my standards. Because ultimately, change comes from within, and all our leaders can do is to facilitate that change.
To everyone else who feels compelled to abstain, I remind you that there is no shame in doing so. Some people might say that we are abstaining because we do not have any principles to stand upon. I am saying right now that the opposite is true: I am abstaining precisely because the principles I stand upon are more important to me than a single candidate.
There is nothing wrong with you having different principles from me. I fully accept that to some, Duterte's willingness to "do what is necessary" is a good thing, and not a bad thing. Or that Mar's being out of touch cannot overshadow the great stuff he has done. Or that Poe's citizenship is a non-issue compared to what she brings to the table. Or Miriam's intellect and need for funds for a national campaign outweighs her unholy alliance with BBM. Or that everyone is corrupt anyways, but Binay showed he can do well, thanks to (wait for it...) Makati.
Unfortunately, there would be all sorts of things wrong if I am willing to give up my principles just so I have something to shade this Monday. I refuse to, and that is my right. Abstaining is a choice, and it is not the same as not having voted at all.The sooner people can respect that, the sooner we could stop thinking that every person who is abstaining is simply undecided. You are wrong. I am decidedly not undecided. In fact, I am very sure that we, the Filipino people, deserved better. And just because we aren't getting that this 2016 doesn't mean I will cede my right to say so just so I can vote for a sub-par candidate in my mind and heart.
If one is unwilling to settle just to find their one true love, why would we settle just to find the next person to lead this country for the coming six years? I believe we deserved better, and I make no pretenses that such a position is loftier or more enlightened than anyone who has decided we have a worthy candidate among the five. It is simply one that I have arrived at after lengthy, careful consideration, as most of you reading this right now surely have with your own positions.
We have been thrust by the people running for power into a climate of fear: fear of continuing the ills that this government has demonstrated in the past six years. Fears of the change to come that it might undo the democracy we have fought so hard to win back in 1986. Fears of a seemingly ever-rising crime rate that belies real numbers and magnifies only the worst among us. Fears of an economy crashing down with the prospect of uncertain territories with a president the international community is derisive of. Fears of cheating. Of thievery. Of lies. Of death.
"There is nothing to fear but fear itself." - Marvel Comics
Nation, the real enemy has always been fear. Because in giving in to the fears manufactured by the political machinery, we have ended up fearing our neighbors, thinking them to be monsters or morons. They are not. They are our countrymen. And our countrymen should never have been our enemy in the first place.
Tomorrow, vote as your mind, heart, and conscience tells you. Not the surveys. Not the pressure. And by Great Caesar's Ghost, not the fear. Fear is the enemy. Not ourselves.
And that is why, in the face of all manner of opposition, I choose to abstain from voting for a president in 2016. Because I have more faith in the Filipino people than I do in these five individuals.
I am most certain that my faith was not misplaced.
"Compromise where you can. Where you can't, don't. Even if everyone is telling you that something wrong is something right. Even if the world is telling you to move, it is your duty to plant yourself like a tree, look them in the eye, and say, 'no, you move.'"
- Sharon Carter, Civil War (2016)
Friday, April 01, 2016
Caught In A Bad Place...
.:Caught In A Bad Place...:.
Do you ever find yourself thinking about the worst possible person at the worst possible time?
I just did.
I'll spare you the details, but it was a mortifying experience, and I'm still experiencing the fallout to this very moment. But like some stupid clickbait post, the reason why I was thinking of said person at said moment might surprise you. Immensely.
There was once a point in my life when someone did a number on my self-esteem. Every single amount of hubris I had was turned into crow, and I ate it. Hard. It was fine, at first, because it grounded me. But then, it seemed like it became sport. I was being knocked down a few pegs with regularity and with motivation behind it. Needless to say, it wasn't fun, at the very least, and it started to eat away at me and how I saw myself.
I hardly ever spoke about it because the source of this was someone who meant a lot to me. I simply didn't want this person to be put in a bad light, and I figured that it was on me to regain the self-esteem I lost, since I shouldn't have allowed this person to take it from me in the first place. But it never quite came back. And there are days I still feel inadequate or lacking in some shape or form.
Fast forward to the present,
This person was weighing heavily on my mind, and the name came up at a most inopportune moment. And it's not an excuse for that kind of horrid timing, mind you. But it's just a confirmation that indeed, the self-esteem has never come back. Because quite sadly, that has been the only context for the longest time when my thoughts would dwell on this person.
And it sucks, because it gets in the way of the present. It sucks, because it affects everything in so many ways, and you can't help but feel doubly bad because you: 1. dwelled on the past, and 2. you let the present get adversely affected.
But what can you do? What can you do except to admit that you are having difficulties at present because of what happened, and now, it has caused damage in more ways than one? What can you do except to accept the plain and simple fact that you need to exert more effort than what you have to prove that you are worthy of where you are today?
I could apologize. I could grovel. I could break down into tears. But if I don't move forward, then what is it all for?
Do you ever find yourself thinking about the worst possible person at the worst possible time?
I just did.
I'll spare you the details, but it was a mortifying experience, and I'm still experiencing the fallout to this very moment. But like some stupid clickbait post, the reason why I was thinking of said person at said moment might surprise you. Immensely.
There was once a point in my life when someone did a number on my self-esteem. Every single amount of hubris I had was turned into crow, and I ate it. Hard. It was fine, at first, because it grounded me. But then, it seemed like it became sport. I was being knocked down a few pegs with regularity and with motivation behind it. Needless to say, it wasn't fun, at the very least, and it started to eat away at me and how I saw myself.
I hardly ever spoke about it because the source of this was someone who meant a lot to me. I simply didn't want this person to be put in a bad light, and I figured that it was on me to regain the self-esteem I lost, since I shouldn't have allowed this person to take it from me in the first place. But it never quite came back. And there are days I still feel inadequate or lacking in some shape or form.
Fast forward to the present,
This person was weighing heavily on my mind, and the name came up at a most inopportune moment. And it's not an excuse for that kind of horrid timing, mind you. But it's just a confirmation that indeed, the self-esteem has never come back. Because quite sadly, that has been the only context for the longest time when my thoughts would dwell on this person.
And it sucks, because it gets in the way of the present. It sucks, because it affects everything in so many ways, and you can't help but feel doubly bad because you: 1. dwelled on the past, and 2. you let the present get adversely affected.
But what can you do? What can you do except to admit that you are having difficulties at present because of what happened, and now, it has caused damage in more ways than one? What can you do except to accept the plain and simple fact that you need to exert more effort than what you have to prove that you are worthy of where you are today?
I could apologize. I could grovel. I could break down into tears. But if I don't move forward, then what is it all for?
Wednesday, March 09, 2016
She's Leaving On A Jetplane...
.:Don't Know When She'll Be Back Again...:.
A while ago, Hun went through the sacrament of Confirmation, and she was asked at least thrice by different people if she was doing it to get married. I didn't even know that was a thing.
In the past years, I've really avoided writing about my lovelife. I guess it's because I've been avoiding giving myself a chance to be mushy here in my blog, as I seem to be asking for it in the event things don't work out and I end up backtracking over my posts some time later.
But you know what? I don't care anymore, because it's my blog, and they're still my memories, for better or worse.
The past few weeks before Hun headed off to the States have been wonderful. Unexpected, even. Things fell into place, and I couldn't be more grateful. I couldn't be more grateful to feel loved and cherished.
A while ago, Hun went through the sacrament of Confirmation, and she was asked at least thrice by different people if she was doing it to get married. I didn't even know that was a thing.
In the past years, I've really avoided writing about my lovelife. I guess it's because I've been avoiding giving myself a chance to be mushy here in my blog, as I seem to be asking for it in the event things don't work out and I end up backtracking over my posts some time later.
But you know what? I don't care anymore, because it's my blog, and they're still my memories, for better or worse.
The past few weeks before Hun headed off to the States have been wonderful. Unexpected, even. Things fell into place, and I couldn't be more grateful. I couldn't be more grateful to feel loved and cherished.
Especially after this.
Who knew that courting friends and family was this challenging? Oh, wait. I always knew that. That's why I shirked from it back then. This time, I didn't. As socially awkward as I am, I realized that if I wanted to make a difference, I had to do some things differently. So I did.
I can't speak with absolute certitude about the future, but what I know is that I incrementally bettered myself as a human being each step of the way to get here. Is this it for me? Is this the one? Only time can tell. What I know though is that I believe this could very well be it, and I should treat it accordingly.
Whoever said love isn't a choice but merely a feeling ought to rethink that, in all honesty. Ayoko magsalita ng tapos, pero masaya ako ngayon. At masaya rin siya. Yun naman ang mahalaga, diba?
I guess that's why even if she's half a world away as we speak, I'm still happy. I know she and I may be apart physically, but our hearts remain beside each other. It also really helps that traveling and communicating despite the distance has never been easier than it is at present.
And to think that it all started from her watching Switch Improv in Burger Company by pure chance. You never can tell when things would fall into place. You really can't.
When I went with her family to bring her to the airport, I was exhausted. But fulfilled. I didn't sleep at all, but I wanted to see her off. And though I'm not entirely sure when I will see her again, one thing is for certain: all of these changes, all of this hurly-burly and insanity, it's all been worth it, and I can't thank her enough for coming into my life.
Thank you, Hun. You're really a keeper.
... and the woman of my dreams, apparently.
Sunday, January 03, 2016
The 2015 Year-In-Review!
.:The 2015 Year-In-Review:.
A crazy year, but one I'm glad I went through. Here's what I ended up realizing about the year that was...
1. What did you do in 2015 that you'd never done before?
I hosted a TV show. I'm hoping there's a second season, but the jury's still out on that one. It was on PTV-4, and it felt like I was doing something important there.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn't make any last year, and I don't plan to make any this year. As it has always been.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Jaycie Tanseco, I guess? Can't really recall anyone else at the moment.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Celebrity deaths abounded, but this year, I think I was spared the loss of anyone specifically close to me.
5. What countries did you visit?
Welp. Looks like I stayed in all 2015. :|
6. What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015?
More shows as a solo performer. I slowly made headway into that this past year, but I've only just begun. Also, I ought to travel more. 2015 was pathetic for me, travel-wise.
7. What date from 2015 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
December 18. The day Patty told me we were going to give this a try.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Hosting "Bara-Bara: Anything Goes" on PTV-4 was a big deal to me. I never would have thought I'd be doing that. I also managed to get a nameplate on Kick Engines for winning a big Legacy tournament.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Playing sidekick to someone who never once really knew the value of that. For years. Talk about sidetracking myself.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Food poisoning a couple of times?
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Several Modern decks that really gave me a semblance of an MTG career!
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Ryan Rems Sarita, for winning "Funny One" this year. Cheers, mate. And for most of my friends in comedy and improv, seeing as a lot of them really stepped their game up in 2015. Also very proud of Rederick Mahaba and Vintendo, two of my friends from PWR. I think it's pretty awesome to see them live out their dreams as professional wrestlers.
13. Whose behavior appalled you and made you depressed?
Oh, you know. The douchebag who thinks he owned my free time? The guy who apparently mistook me for his boyfriend. LOL. There were a few more, but I'm willing to accept part of that was my fault, so I don't really resent them for it.
14. Where did most of your money go?
MTG, Food and Uber, it seems.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Hosting a TV show. I will keep harping about it whenever applicable. And oh, definitely Patty. Hee!
16. What song will always remind you of 2015?
"Thinking Out Loud" by Ed Sheeran, but only because it refused to go away since 2014. If I had to pick an exclusively 2015 song, I would probably say "Hotline Bling."
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? – mostly happier
ii. thinner or fatter? – fatter
iii. richer or poorer? – richer
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Gigs, and actually writing for Cracked.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Beating myself up over past failures.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Quietly spent at home.
21. Did you fall in love in 2015?
Absolutely.
22. How many one-night stands?
Nah.
23. What was your favorite TV program?
"How To Get Away With Murder," although the other shows I've been already watching still stand: Hannibal, Elementary, and Flash.
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Yep. It's a wonder I put up with that one for as long as I did.
25. What was the best book you read?
"Mind Mysteries Guidebook, Vol. 1," but only because that's the only physical book I've actually read this year.
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I have a thing for death metal covers of really popular songs, like say, "Hello," by Adele.
27. What did you want and not get?
To go to Hong Kong with my old friend, Jan. Sadly, budget concerns got in the way.
28. Favorite film of this year?
It's either "Heneral Luna" or "Magic Mike XXL," or "Star Wars: Episode VII," but the last one is mostly just a reflex action from the guy named "mistervader."
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was actually at a wake when I turned 32.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Getting started with writing for Cracked and actually having more shows during the -Ber months.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2015?
Hats, hats, and more hats.
32. What kept you sane?
Cracked.com, the 8List, Switch Improv, Comedy Manila, Modern, Legacy, and video games.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
For a fleeting moment, one of my castmates on "Bara-Bara." My lips are sealed. Then again, I could always volunteer Harriet Sugarcookie for this.
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
The Fallen 44 and the INC Protests.
35. Who did you miss?
So many people, but maybe the one whom I met only twice but pined after for a while.
36. Who was the best new person you met?
Patty. No contest,.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015.
Sometimes, you just have to dare.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"Ikaw na ba si Mr. Right? Ikaw na ba ang love of my life? Ikaw na ba ang icing sa ibabaw ng cupcake ko?"
It sums up my year in that it doesn't make a lick of sense, but it makes me smile.
A crazy year, but one I'm glad I went through. Here's what I ended up realizing about the year that was...
1. What did you do in 2015 that you'd never done before?
I hosted a TV show. I'm hoping there's a second season, but the jury's still out on that one. It was on PTV-4, and it felt like I was doing something important there.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn't make any last year, and I don't plan to make any this year. As it has always been.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Jaycie Tanseco, I guess? Can't really recall anyone else at the moment.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Celebrity deaths abounded, but this year, I think I was spared the loss of anyone specifically close to me.
5. What countries did you visit?
Welp. Looks like I stayed in all 2015. :|
6. What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015?
More shows as a solo performer. I slowly made headway into that this past year, but I've only just begun. Also, I ought to travel more. 2015 was pathetic for me, travel-wise.
7. What date from 2015 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
December 18. The day Patty told me we were going to give this a try.
Insert cheesy quote here.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Hosting "Bara-Bara: Anything Goes" on PTV-4 was a big deal to me. I never would have thought I'd be doing that. I also managed to get a nameplate on Kick Engines for winning a big Legacy tournament.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Playing sidekick to someone who never once really knew the value of that. For years. Talk about sidetracking myself.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Food poisoning a couple of times?
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Several Modern decks that really gave me a semblance of an MTG career!
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Ryan Rems Sarita, for winning "Funny One" this year. Cheers, mate. And for most of my friends in comedy and improv, seeing as a lot of them really stepped their game up in 2015. Also very proud of Rederick Mahaba and Vintendo, two of my friends from PWR. I think it's pretty awesome to see them live out their dreams as professional wrestlers.
Love, Rederick, love!
13. Whose behavior appalled you and made you depressed?
Oh, you know. The douchebag who thinks he owned my free time? The guy who apparently mistook me for his boyfriend. LOL. There were a few more, but I'm willing to accept part of that was my fault, so I don't really resent them for it.
14. Where did most of your money go?
MTG, Food and Uber, it seems.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Hosting a TV show. I will keep harping about it whenever applicable. And oh, definitely Patty. Hee!
16. What song will always remind you of 2015?
"Thinking Out Loud" by Ed Sheeran, but only because it refused to go away since 2014. If I had to pick an exclusively 2015 song, I would probably say "Hotline Bling."
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? – mostly happier
ii. thinner or fatter? – fatter
iii. richer or poorer? – richer
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Gigs, and actually writing for Cracked.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Beating myself up over past failures.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Quietly spent at home.
21. Did you fall in love in 2015?
Absolutely.
22. How many one-night stands?
Nah.
23. What was your favorite TV program?
"How To Get Away With Murder," although the other shows I've been already watching still stand: Hannibal, Elementary, and Flash.
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Yep. It's a wonder I put up with that one for as long as I did.
25. What was the best book you read?
"Mind Mysteries Guidebook, Vol. 1," but only because that's the only physical book I've actually read this year.
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I have a thing for death metal covers of really popular songs, like say, "Hello," by Adele.
Hello from the f*****g other siiiiiiiiidddddddeeeee!!!
27. What did you want and not get?
To go to Hong Kong with my old friend, Jan. Sadly, budget concerns got in the way.
28. Favorite film of this year?
It's either "Heneral Luna" or "Magic Mike XXL," or "Star Wars: Episode VII," but the last one is mostly just a reflex action from the guy named "mistervader."
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was actually at a wake when I turned 32.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Getting started with writing for Cracked and actually having more shows during the -Ber months.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2015?
Hats, hats, and more hats.
32. What kept you sane?
Cracked.com, the 8List, Switch Improv, Comedy Manila, Modern, Legacy, and video games.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
For a fleeting moment, one of my castmates on "Bara-Bara." My lips are sealed. Then again, I could always volunteer Harriet Sugarcookie for this.
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
The Fallen 44 and the INC Protests.
35. Who did you miss?
So many people, but maybe the one whom I met only twice but pined after for a while.
36. Who was the best new person you met?
Patty. No contest,.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015.
Sometimes, you just have to dare.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"Ikaw na ba si Mr. Right? Ikaw na ba ang love of my life? Ikaw na ba ang icing sa ibabaw ng cupcake ko?"
It sums up my year in that it doesn't make a lick of sense, but it makes me smile.
Monday, December 28, 2015
Take A Bow
.:How 'Bout A Round Of Applause?:.
A standing ovation?
For the past thirteen weeks, I don't exaggerate when I say that secular me felt downright blessed to have been a part of "Bara-Bara" as one of its hosts. I've worked with old contemporaries like James Caraan and Red Ollero of Comedy Manila, as well as comedy legends like Leo Martinez and Kuhol, and made new friends in Phoebe Walker, Miggy Marty, Nikki Viola, and Kat Medina. This was, without a doubt, a show I loved doing every single time.
In about an hour, our last episode will air. Well, our last episode for our first season. What I don't know for sure is if we will have another one after that. Either way, I can't help but be grateful for the season that was.
I could regale you with stories about the things going on behind the scenes, of how the cast grew closer with each other with each passing episode, about our foibles and misadventures involving CSG and other hilarious stories that could let you in on the inside workings of a fledgling show that's been trying to find its spot in this world of entertainment that has mostly been unwilling to shine a mirror upon itself if the reflection wouldn't be completely flattering. In doing this, we ended up opening not just the minds of those who watched us, but even our very own minds, as we saw things we never saw before, when we merely consumed media and didn't think of the things that go on behind it. There were issues. Boy, were there issues.
We willingly called out these issues head-on, even if it also meant exposing ourselves to the very same pitfalls, simply because we wanted to open up the minds of those we could touch to the opportunity for critical thinking.
We aren't looking to make cynics out of our countrymen. We aren't looking to make them believe that the media lies while the government is a beacon of truth. We simply wanted them to question everything: yes, even what I say this very moment. Because in that questioning, the seeds of wisdom are planted, and we could all use that kind of healthy skepticism for ourselves: not just so we could be contrarian, but so we could be capable of defending the very positions we hold dear, instead of just saying it is because it is.
I will always be grateful for the opportunities I've gotten because of this TV show, but more importantly, the friendships I've built thanks to it. I would be remiss if I didn't specifically thank GB for having put me in the right place and the right time to be a part of this, thanks to the Open Mic in Uno Morato, and of course, the people behind the scenes in PTV-4 as well. It was an experience I will always cherish and be proud of, and while I fervently hope we would find the sponsors we need for a second season, I will have no regrets if tonight's season ender is our swan song for this show.
For years, I've always wanted to open minds as a mentalist: to unlock the potential of people via entertaining them through feats of mind-reading and psychokinesis and the like. In 2015, I managed to open minds through commentary, and that is something I am grateful to have been given the opportunity to do.
We hope to see you for our last episode tonight. And we hope even more to see you for our first episode for our second season in 2016, if the stars align for us just right. It truly has been a pleasure and an honor to be the host of Bara-Bara: Anything Goes for the past three months.
Thank you. From the bottom of my heart.
Saturday, November 28, 2015
A Second Chance: A Non-Review
.:A Second Chance: A Non-Review:.
"Pangako, mamaya, huling beses na nating maghihiwalay. Ito ang huling gabi na merong ikaw at ako. Simula bukas, ang meron nalang, tayo. Tayo, habangbuhay. Hindi ka na matutulog mag-isa. At hindi ka na gigising ng wala ako sa tabi mo. At itong mga kamay na ito? Kahit magaspang na,Hindi ka na bibitawan, ha? I will never let go. I will always love you, Basha Lopez Eugenio."
Some questions really did not need to be answered. But don't worry, there will be no spoilers here.
I watched "A Second Chance" because I had to. The first film, "One More Chance," is probably my favorite Filipino film of all time, as shallow as that might sound. The idea of a love lost that could be gained back was something that resonated deeply with me then, as it does now. But in between the first film and the second one, something changed, and that something turned me from someone who could completely feel every single pang of pain Basha and Popoy went through to me being a spectator, outside merely looking in.
Basha and Popoy got married.
I can only relate so much to that, obviously, given that I myself am not. But in that one, big, momentous change for the two of them, their pathos has taken on a kind of gravitas that is no longer within my purview. I accept that. People do change, and certainly, fictional people would, even more so than real people. But the moment they exchanged "I do's," I lost Popoy and Basha to the ether, because I was no longer quite like them.
That isn't so much a fault of the filmmaker as it is a fault of having two characters that were so relatable and powerful as Basha and Popoy that living vicariously through them and their apparent rekindling of their romance towards the end of the first film simply seemed like something we could all aspire to. It felt like something that could indeed come our way. The moment they jump into a stage of life we aren't quite in yet, that sense of verisimilitude is utterly broken for me.
But no, this doesn't make for a bad movie. It just makes for a different one. One that recognizes the plateaus of a marriage far better than it has any business doing, but one that unintentionally alienates me because I'm not there at all. Maybe I will be someday. But given just the trailer, they don't exactly make the married life something aspirational now, do they?
Have you ever put off going to the doctor purely because you're afraid of what you might have, knowing that you're probably not well? That's rather how I felt about this whole thing, in all honesty.
When we left our lovers in "One More Chance," it was open-ended, but rather obvious where it was headed: a reconciliation. We wanted to have the ambiguity and our happy ever after despite all the realism in one lovely bittersweet cake and we wanted to eat it. "A Second Chance" jettisons that, and decides we needed to see more, and as much as we wanted to look away, to not force ourselves to ask those hard questions, we are enthralled to because we know we have to know the answer now that the answer clearly exists.
To say that I am not the target audience of "A Second Chance" would be an understatement, but it is also a massive boon to the makers of this film that I still enjoyed it, no matter how I felt like an outsider, trying to find the smallest of vicarious moments.
And irony of ironies, or should I say appropriately enough, I find those vicarious moments in the moments of pain that both Popoy and Basha go through. Because unfortunately, that is all that remains that I have in common with them: not the moments of wedded bliss, but the moments of indescribable pain. Of emasculation and emotional disembowelment. And if there is one thing this movie franchise has been good at, it has always been king at eliciting pain as a reminder that we still live and we still love.
I can ascribe every single profound philosophical idea I have learned and project them onto the film, but that would be merely self-serving and masturbatory and in no way helpful to even myself. I could look at the ennui of married life and take it as a warning beacon, or ask about the existential quandary one faces in the midst of feelings of inutility. In the end, what one could draw is that one feels, no matter how "shallow" the film may be, and let's face it, it is no more deep or shallow than, say, a Kalyeserye, that we are alive, and that there is something rather than nothing.
Especially with love.
It will always remain. It will always be there. And when you love someone who does not, cannot love you, then so will the pain be there. We may call love beautiful, but it is a force of nature, and like any force of nature, it overruns us even when we come unprepared for it.
Because love lost will always lead to pain until one becomes numb. Because that love goes forth and empties itself out, but simply refuses to extinguish itself.
"A Second Chance" is a beautiful masterpiece in mirroring reality. Unfortunately for me, it is not my reality I am looking at, but a reality I find myself denied of. And it is that jarring break from immersiveness, that moment where I simply cannot suspend my disbelief that I am Popoy or Basha up there in the silverscreen, where I actually find myself impotent and inutile and utterly helpless. And that is the moment where I realize that even at its grittiest moments, the silverscreen love story of Popoy and Basha still far outstrips my own: something I didn't feel in the first film, and something that points me to not like the second film as much, not out of a technical shortcoming.
But out of resentment.
"Pangako, mamaya, huling beses na nating maghihiwalay. Ito ang huling gabi na merong ikaw at ako. Simula bukas, ang meron nalang, tayo. Tayo, habangbuhay. Hindi ka na matutulog mag-isa. At hindi ka na gigising ng wala ako sa tabi mo. At itong mga kamay na ito? Kahit magaspang na,Hindi ka na bibitawan, ha? I will never let go. I will always love you, Basha Lopez Eugenio."
Some questions really did not need to be answered. But don't worry, there will be no spoilers here.
I watched "A Second Chance" because I had to. The first film, "One More Chance," is probably my favorite Filipino film of all time, as shallow as that might sound. The idea of a love lost that could be gained back was something that resonated deeply with me then, as it does now. But in between the first film and the second one, something changed, and that something turned me from someone who could completely feel every single pang of pain Basha and Popoy went through to me being a spectator, outside merely looking in.
Basha and Popoy got married.
If you didn't know this was gonna happen, then you don't need to watch the movie at all.
I can only relate so much to that, obviously, given that I myself am not. But in that one, big, momentous change for the two of them, their pathos has taken on a kind of gravitas that is no longer within my purview. I accept that. People do change, and certainly, fictional people would, even more so than real people. But the moment they exchanged "I do's," I lost Popoy and Basha to the ether, because I was no longer quite like them.
That isn't so much a fault of the filmmaker as it is a fault of having two characters that were so relatable and powerful as Basha and Popoy that living vicariously through them and their apparent rekindling of their romance towards the end of the first film simply seemed like something we could all aspire to. It felt like something that could indeed come our way. The moment they jump into a stage of life we aren't quite in yet, that sense of verisimilitude is utterly broken for me.
But no, this doesn't make for a bad movie. It just makes for a different one. One that recognizes the plateaus of a marriage far better than it has any business doing, but one that unintentionally alienates me because I'm not there at all. Maybe I will be someday. But given just the trailer, they don't exactly make the married life something aspirational now, do they?
Have you ever put off going to the doctor purely because you're afraid of what you might have, knowing that you're probably not well? That's rather how I felt about this whole thing, in all honesty.
When we left our lovers in "One More Chance," it was open-ended, but rather obvious where it was headed: a reconciliation. We wanted to have the ambiguity and our happy ever after despite all the realism in one lovely bittersweet cake and we wanted to eat it. "A Second Chance" jettisons that, and decides we needed to see more, and as much as we wanted to look away, to not force ourselves to ask those hard questions, we are enthralled to because we know we have to know the answer now that the answer clearly exists.
To say that I am not the target audience of "A Second Chance" would be an understatement, but it is also a massive boon to the makers of this film that I still enjoyed it, no matter how I felt like an outsider, trying to find the smallest of vicarious moments.
And irony of ironies, or should I say appropriately enough, I find those vicarious moments in the moments of pain that both Popoy and Basha go through. Because unfortunately, that is all that remains that I have in common with them: not the moments of wedded bliss, but the moments of indescribable pain. Of emasculation and emotional disembowelment. And if there is one thing this movie franchise has been good at, it has always been king at eliciting pain as a reminder that we still live and we still love.
I can ascribe every single profound philosophical idea I have learned and project them onto the film, but that would be merely self-serving and masturbatory and in no way helpful to even myself. I could look at the ennui of married life and take it as a warning beacon, or ask about the existential quandary one faces in the midst of feelings of inutility. In the end, what one could draw is that one feels, no matter how "shallow" the film may be, and let's face it, it is no more deep or shallow than, say, a Kalyeserye, that we are alive, and that there is something rather than nothing.
Especially with love.
It will always remain. It will always be there. And when you love someone who does not, cannot love you, then so will the pain be there. We may call love beautiful, but it is a force of nature, and like any force of nature, it overruns us even when we come unprepared for it.
Because love lost will always lead to pain until one becomes numb. Because that love goes forth and empties itself out, but simply refuses to extinguish itself.
"A Second Chance" is a beautiful masterpiece in mirroring reality. Unfortunately for me, it is not my reality I am looking at, but a reality I find myself denied of. And it is that jarring break from immersiveness, that moment where I simply cannot suspend my disbelief that I am Popoy or Basha up there in the silverscreen, where I actually find myself impotent and inutile and utterly helpless. And that is the moment where I realize that even at its grittiest moments, the silverscreen love story of Popoy and Basha still far outstrips my own: something I didn't feel in the first film, and something that points me to not like the second film as much, not out of a technical shortcoming.
But out of resentment.
Thursday, August 13, 2015
2 Hot 4 8List: 8 Questions I Always Get Asked About Marriage Equality
.:2 Hot 4 8List: 8 Questions I Always Get Asked About Marriage Equality:.
I try my best to be a moderate when it comes to my personal opinions. Most people know what they are, but I try my best not to be combative about them when I encounter someone who doesn't share the same opinion as I. This blog post will not be as charitable, because I've allowed a lot of people to get in their myopic jabs on the topic for long enough. This hopefully addresses most of those so-called issues they raise.
Here now are 8 questions I always get asked about marriage equality, especially in light of the recent SCOTUS ruling that recognizes LGBT marriage to be on the same legal footing as heterosexual marriage.
8. Why are the LGBT redefining marriage?
First of all, marriage has been redefined so many times over the centuries that it's not even funny anymore. The idea that marriage is a union of love has been a fairly recent idea. There isn't really a "traditional" marriage, to begin with. Otherwise, all rape survivors will be required to marry their aggressor, just as the Bible stated.
In its current form, aside from the idea of one person loving another person for the rest of their life, marriage is understood to also come with concurrent rights. These rights are the crux of what marriage equality advocates are fighting for. It's something under the domain of the government, and in the case of the Philippines and America, the government is supposedly a secular one. What this means is simple: defining marriage as "biblical marriage," while not only problematic because of how the Bible itself defines marriage, also alienates the people who are not subscribers to the Bible.
TL;DR - marriage can stay the same for your church, but the government, in the interest of equal rights for all, needs to reassess marriage in order to live up to this secular ideal.
7. Why are the LGBT forcing people to bake them wedding cakes? How is this equality?
Oh. You mean that story in America of how a gay couple sued a bakery for refusing to bake them a cake for their wedding, then subsequently got awarded over $100,000 in damages afterwards?
First of all, you might not have read the entire story: this bakery didn't just "politely" decline this couple, they also doxxed (that is, they released the identity and private information) of these people when they complained about being refused service. People gloss over this fact, yet when you realize that the doxxing caused them anguish (they were given death threats) and extended that anguish to their adopted kids (they were also given death threats), suddenly, it doesn't seem like the bakery was fined nearly enough for what they did.
There's nothing "polite" about calling people an "abomination," okay? This is every bit as manipulative as saying that the old lady who sued McDonald's over their coffee was being frivolous (she received 3rd degree burns, not just some booboo someone can kiss to go away).
Also, remember how big a deal it was when people would refuse service to black people? Well, why would it suddenly be okay to refuse service to gay people just because? Are they not entitled to the same rights as black people in the first place?
Nobody was demanding this bakery to get gay married or to preside over the gay marriage of a couple that they already did business with before, prior to finding out about their orientation. That's plain discrimination, and it boggles the mind how people could think that discrimination is okay just because you claim that your God told you so. "God" has "told" people to do the Crusades. "Allah" has "told" extremists to fly a couple of planes into the World Trade Center. None of this was cool. A "lesser" offense hung on the same conceit isn't, either.
6. Why am I being called a bigot for not sharing the same opinion about LGBT marriage? My freedom of speech is being impinged!
First of all, when someone calls you a bigot, they are also exercising their free speech. We see a lot of people confused with that all the time, including certain bloggers who block people who call them out on their hypocrisy when they start cyber-lynching someone.
Secondly, let's get one thing straight here: your freedom to say whatever you want doesn't mean you are going to be free from consequences. If you lose your job because you went on a racist tirade, I'm sorry, but that's the consequence of you exercising your freedom of speech. Just ask Hulk Hogan, even if I feel bad for the guy.
If you can't take the heat, then get out of the kitchen. The only thing freedom of speech entails is that you won't be arrested by the government for saying whatever, although in the Philippines, we don't even have that level of freedom, since libel is a criminal offense here. Just ask Fashion Pulis.
Don't confuse our Philippine laws with American laws. This isn't an argument about tradition but legality.
Lastly, when you call someone an "abomination," do you even think being a "bigot" is remotely comparable to what you just called an LGBT person? Learn to check your privilege before you make these kinds of complaints, because you're working from the assumption that nothing is wrong with insulting the very being of an LGBT person by calling them an "abomination" all because your "God" "told" you so.
5. So does this mean I can't believe that God doesn't approve of LGBT marriage anymore?
Of course not! You're free to keep believing this, the same way some people still believe that slavery, or women's suffrage, or interracial marriage are all horrible things God would shun, too.
What you can't do, though, is to conflate your religious beliefs with the legal demand for equal rights for everyone, including LGBT people, to marry the one they love, who just so happen to have the same genitals as they do.
Your church can continue to never marry LGBT couples to each other, but if the government decides marriage equality is a thing, you can't pretend that the law has to conform to your religion, because it doesn't work that way.
4. Why does this matter so much to you if you're straight?
Well, wow. I didn't realize that empathy is a bad thing now! Do I even need to dignify this question with an answer?
3. Aren't you afraid of Sodom and Gomorrah happening to us if we let marriage equality happen?
No. No, I'm not afraid of Sodom and Gomorrah, because Canada has had marriage equality for a decade now, and they're doing pretty okay. And why does your God turn into the hellfire and brimstone version only when it comes to gay marriage, but He's all loving and kind and benevolent and forgiving when it's little crimes like murder or rape or plunder? That's mighty selective, don't you think?
You also might want to read up on why Sodom and Gomorrah was actually condemned in the first place. You might be surprised how little it had to do with homosexuality.
2. So what next? We can now do polygamy? Incest? Bestiality? Marry kids off to pedophiles?
Well, that escalated quickly. It's very clear that the premise of marriage equality is that two consenting adults decide to spend the rest of their lives with each other. All three of these words are integral to the definition of marriage equality. Animals can't legally give consent. Kids are obviously not adults and can't legally give consent, either. Consent is fuzzy when there are power dynamics in play with blood relatives, such as mother vs son, etc. In polygamous situations, the transfer of rights is ridiculously complicated, but if the law were able to dynamically adapt, then so long as all parties involved are consenting, why should it be legally disallowed?
Some Muslims already marry multiple women, as it stands. The reason that marriage equality advocates aren't particularly happy about this is that it's clear that the male is dominant in this setup, and as such, implies there's little "equality" to be expected in the first place.
Ultimately, when two gay people marry each other, how would this affect you? It doesn't. So let them mind their own business as you mind yours. Nobody is forcing you to get married to the same gender.
1.If the LGBT are asking for tolerance, why can't they tolerate people who don't want to tolerate them? Shouldn't they give it before they ask for it?
Tolerance of intolerance is self-defeating, and accomplishes nothing. It also reeks of privilege, because here, we demand the LGBT kowtow to our feelings while we refuse to give even a semblance of respect to theirs. The LGBT are fighting for equality. If we can legally marry the one we love, why can't they? If we can stay in the ICU with our spouse as they lay there in critical condition, why can't they? The law is the great equalizer that levels the playing field for when there is an inherent disadvantage for a marginalized class.
This is why it's so ludicrous to wonder why straight people don't have any "straight pride" parades, because they don't need one. Nobody is oppressing them systematically for being straight. It's also why nobody is particularly impressed when Tim Tebow professes his Christianity. This is the norm. This is the default. How is this a shocker? When people tell him to "keep it to himself," does it ever stop him from professing his faith? Of course not. It doesn't even stop him from continuing to express his beliefs in public, because freedom of speech allows him to keep doing it, just as much as his critics are enabled by the very same freedom.
On the other hand, when you see someone like Caitlyn Jenner come out as a transgendered woman (who is still very much into women, by the way), you will see people praise her because it takes guts to do that, and let's not pretend she didn't get any negative backlash for it. She certainly did.
It's all about false equivalence, and privilege. When you have the luxury of living your life normally without people condemning you for the religion you happen to belong to and for the sexual orientation you happen to possess, it becomes difficult to see why it takes courage when someone who doesn't subscribe to the norm has to come forward and express themselves.
In short, Christians, you are not the persecuted class in this story. I understand how nice it is to pretend you're the underdog, but between a bunch of people who get called "abominations" with regularity, and a bunch of people who have to stretch the definition of "oppression" to claim it, I think it's easy to see who's really being persecuted. You're Floyd Mayweather. You're John Cena. You're the '96-'98 Chicago Bulls. Any backlash you get is because people know you're going to win in the end, and there's nothing wrong with that: you're just being who you are.
When the dust has settled, marriage equality doesn't affect you if you have zero plans of getting married to someone of the same gender. So why should it be any of your business if the government, the one that's supposed to protect everyone, and not just you, eventually decides that gay people are deserving of the equal rights they should have gotten in the first place?
You don't get to debate human rights, because they're just that: human rights.
And in the end, in all this hoopla about the "dignity" of marriage, there is yet another oppressed minority being pushed to the side...
What about us single people? Are we not deserving of "dignity," too? Alas, that is a discussion to be had some other day.
I try my best to be a moderate when it comes to my personal opinions. Most people know what they are, but I try my best not to be combative about them when I encounter someone who doesn't share the same opinion as I. This blog post will not be as charitable, because I've allowed a lot of people to get in their myopic jabs on the topic for long enough. This hopefully addresses most of those so-called issues they raise.
Here now are 8 questions I always get asked about marriage equality, especially in light of the recent SCOTUS ruling that recognizes LGBT marriage to be on the same legal footing as heterosexual marriage.
8. Why are the LGBT redefining marriage?
First of all, marriage has been redefined so many times over the centuries that it's not even funny anymore. The idea that marriage is a union of love has been a fairly recent idea. There isn't really a "traditional" marriage, to begin with. Otherwise, all rape survivors will be required to marry their aggressor, just as the Bible stated.
In its current form, aside from the idea of one person loving another person for the rest of their life, marriage is understood to also come with concurrent rights. These rights are the crux of what marriage equality advocates are fighting for. It's something under the domain of the government, and in the case of the Philippines and America, the government is supposedly a secular one. What this means is simple: defining marriage as "biblical marriage," while not only problematic because of how the Bible itself defines marriage, also alienates the people who are not subscribers to the Bible.
TL;DR - marriage can stay the same for your church, but the government, in the interest of equal rights for all, needs to reassess marriage in order to live up to this secular ideal.
7. Why are the LGBT forcing people to bake them wedding cakes? How is this equality?
Oh. You mean that story in America of how a gay couple sued a bakery for refusing to bake them a cake for their wedding, then subsequently got awarded over $100,000 in damages afterwards?
First of all, you might not have read the entire story: this bakery didn't just "politely" decline this couple, they also doxxed (that is, they released the identity and private information) of these people when they complained about being refused service. People gloss over this fact, yet when you realize that the doxxing caused them anguish (they were given death threats) and extended that anguish to their adopted kids (they were also given death threats), suddenly, it doesn't seem like the bakery was fined nearly enough for what they did.
There's nothing "polite" about calling people an "abomination," okay? This is every bit as manipulative as saying that the old lady who sued McDonald's over their coffee was being frivolous (she received 3rd degree burns, not just some booboo someone can kiss to go away).
Also, remember how big a deal it was when people would refuse service to black people? Well, why would it suddenly be okay to refuse service to gay people just because? Are they not entitled to the same rights as black people in the first place?
Nobody was demanding this bakery to get gay married or to preside over the gay marriage of a couple that they already did business with before, prior to finding out about their orientation. That's plain discrimination, and it boggles the mind how people could think that discrimination is okay just because you claim that your God told you so. "God" has "told" people to do the Crusades. "Allah" has "told" extremists to fly a couple of planes into the World Trade Center. None of this was cool. A "lesser" offense hung on the same conceit isn't, either.
6. Why am I being called a bigot for not sharing the same opinion about LGBT marriage? My freedom of speech is being impinged!
First of all, when someone calls you a bigot, they are also exercising their free speech. We see a lot of people confused with that all the time, including certain bloggers who block people who call them out on their hypocrisy when they start cyber-lynching someone.
Still applicable, huh?
Secondly, let's get one thing straight here: your freedom to say whatever you want doesn't mean you are going to be free from consequences. If you lose your job because you went on a racist tirade, I'm sorry, but that's the consequence of you exercising your freedom of speech. Just ask Hulk Hogan, even if I feel bad for the guy.
To be fair, he's too orange to be a white supremacist.
If you can't take the heat, then get out of the kitchen. The only thing freedom of speech entails is that you won't be arrested by the government for saying whatever, although in the Philippines, we don't even have that level of freedom, since libel is a criminal offense here. Just ask Fashion Pulis.
Don't confuse our Philippine laws with American laws. This isn't an argument about tradition but legality.
Lastly, when you call someone an "abomination," do you even think being a "bigot" is remotely comparable to what you just called an LGBT person? Learn to check your privilege before you make these kinds of complaints, because you're working from the assumption that nothing is wrong with insulting the very being of an LGBT person by calling them an "abomination" all because your "God" "told" you so.
5. So does this mean I can't believe that God doesn't approve of LGBT marriage anymore?
Of course not! You're free to keep believing this, the same way some people still believe that slavery, or women's suffrage, or interracial marriage are all horrible things God would shun, too.
What you can't do, though, is to conflate your religious beliefs with the legal demand for equal rights for everyone, including LGBT people, to marry the one they love, who just so happen to have the same genitals as they do.
Godwinned!
Your church can continue to never marry LGBT couples to each other, but if the government decides marriage equality is a thing, you can't pretend that the law has to conform to your religion, because it doesn't work that way.
4. Why does this matter so much to you if you're straight?
Well, wow. I didn't realize that empathy is a bad thing now! Do I even need to dignify this question with an answer?
3. Aren't you afraid of Sodom and Gomorrah happening to us if we let marriage equality happen?
No. No, I'm not afraid of Sodom and Gomorrah, because Canada has had marriage equality for a decade now, and they're doing pretty okay. And why does your God turn into the hellfire and brimstone version only when it comes to gay marriage, but He's all loving and kind and benevolent and forgiving when it's little crimes like murder or rape or plunder? That's mighty selective, don't you think?
You also might want to read up on why Sodom and Gomorrah was actually condemned in the first place. You might be surprised how little it had to do with homosexuality.
2. So what next? We can now do polygamy? Incest? Bestiality? Marry kids off to pedophiles?
Well, that escalated quickly. It's very clear that the premise of marriage equality is that two consenting adults decide to spend the rest of their lives with each other. All three of these words are integral to the definition of marriage equality. Animals can't legally give consent. Kids are obviously not adults and can't legally give consent, either. Consent is fuzzy when there are power dynamics in play with blood relatives, such as mother vs son, etc. In polygamous situations, the transfer of rights is ridiculously complicated, but if the law were able to dynamically adapt, then so long as all parties involved are consenting, why should it be legally disallowed?
Some Muslims already marry multiple women, as it stands. The reason that marriage equality advocates aren't particularly happy about this is that it's clear that the male is dominant in this setup, and as such, implies there's little "equality" to be expected in the first place.
Ultimately, when two gay people marry each other, how would this affect you? It doesn't. So let them mind their own business as you mind yours. Nobody is forcing you to get married to the same gender.
1.If the LGBT are asking for tolerance, why can't they tolerate people who don't want to tolerate them? Shouldn't they give it before they ask for it?
Tolerance of intolerance is self-defeating, and accomplishes nothing. It also reeks of privilege, because here, we demand the LGBT kowtow to our feelings while we refuse to give even a semblance of respect to theirs. The LGBT are fighting for equality. If we can legally marry the one we love, why can't they? If we can stay in the ICU with our spouse as they lay there in critical condition, why can't they? The law is the great equalizer that levels the playing field for when there is an inherent disadvantage for a marginalized class.
This is why it's so ludicrous to wonder why straight people don't have any "straight pride" parades, because they don't need one. Nobody is oppressing them systematically for being straight. It's also why nobody is particularly impressed when Tim Tebow professes his Christianity. This is the norm. This is the default. How is this a shocker? When people tell him to "keep it to himself," does it ever stop him from professing his faith? Of course not. It doesn't even stop him from continuing to express his beliefs in public, because freedom of speech allows him to keep doing it, just as much as his critics are enabled by the very same freedom.
Not pictured: a fair comparison.
On the other hand, when you see someone like Caitlyn Jenner come out as a transgendered woman (who is still very much into women, by the way), you will see people praise her because it takes guts to do that, and let's not pretend she didn't get any negative backlash for it. She certainly did.
It's all about false equivalence, and privilege. When you have the luxury of living your life normally without people condemning you for the religion you happen to belong to and for the sexual orientation you happen to possess, it becomes difficult to see why it takes courage when someone who doesn't subscribe to the norm has to come forward and express themselves.
In short, Christians, you are not the persecuted class in this story. I understand how nice it is to pretend you're the underdog, but between a bunch of people who get called "abominations" with regularity, and a bunch of people who have to stretch the definition of "oppression" to claim it, I think it's easy to see who's really being persecuted. You're Floyd Mayweather. You're John Cena. You're the '96-'98 Chicago Bulls. Any backlash you get is because people know you're going to win in the end, and there's nothing wrong with that: you're just being who you are.
When the dust has settled, marriage equality doesn't affect you if you have zero plans of getting married to someone of the same gender. So why should it be any of your business if the government, the one that's supposed to protect everyone, and not just you, eventually decides that gay people are deserving of the equal rights they should have gotten in the first place?
You don't get to debate human rights, because they're just that: human rights.
And in the end, in all this hoopla about the "dignity" of marriage, there is yet another oppressed minority being pushed to the side...
What about us single people? Are we not deserving of "dignity," too? Alas, that is a discussion to be had some other day.
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
That Sinking Feeling...
.:That Sinking Feeling:.
There was so much I wanted to talk about. With how the Manila Improv Festival ended the other day, I was still feeling this kind of elation that was all over me, but I guess these things really weren't meant to last, were they?
Now that I've snapped back to reality, I realize I have to get away from it all for a while. I've been burnt out by the world of standup. I've worked too hard in the world of improv. I have very little left in me to keep going, and I know that I have to stop. Breathe. Think. And slow down.
There's so much I have to do next. There's so much I have to cover next. But ultimately, the great equalizer is the fact that I have hope, no matter what the circumstances are. Or I had it. I don't know. It feels like it really refuses to stick with me, so here I am, just dealing with another fallout I never counted on.
I've always been awkward. I've always been shy. Despite being a performer by trade, there's just something about trying to approach people and making myself known, that attempt at breaking the veil of anonymity, that terrifies me. Because while I like being applauded when I'm onstage, I also like my moments of quiet when I need them. Approaching people tends to jeopardize that.
So it came to pass that I saw a moment enter my life, and I didn't want it to pass me by. With a knowing nod from my friend Dave, I made a leap of faith. I said some things I don't normally say. I did some things I don't normally do. Not for any hope or agenda. Not for some misguided sense of entitlement that this would yield results. But only because I wanted to make sure I didn't let the moment pass me by. I didn't want to sit down there and ask myself if I could have.
I had to, you see. I really had to.
It seemed right. It seemed like it was the best way to go about it. And as I've always been, I was wrong. In as quickly as it began, it may have fizzled out just like that, too. And I don't even know where to begin picking myself up. Not for anything, but because once again, I blew it. I ruined it for myself. If I ever wonder from time to time why I'm not happy at a particular point in my life, the reason usually just so happens to be myself. And it disgusts me.
So where do I go from here? Do I get a do-over? Or are we simply going to go with "no take backsies," and that's that? The worst part of this whole episode is I can't even blame anyone but myself for it. I blew it. I screwed it up. Because as always has been the case, my stupid mouth has got me in trouble. I said too much again.
So I'm sorry. I'm sorry I blew it. And if this chapter has to end as abruptly as it begun, I guess I just have to live with that.
Is it too soon to say these things? Is it too soon to feel this way? I can't help but have that sinking feeling that it isn't. This is merely just the latest in a successive string that affirms the pattern. It's not too soon: it's in fact too late.
But please... if you ever asked me why I did what I did, I just need you to know one thing: when something comes into your life and you feel something you've never felt before, when it inspires you to do something you've never done before, when it calls you to say something you've never said before, then there's something there.
I may no longer ever find out what that something was, but it was there.
Bakit ko iaasa sa hangin? Bakit ko ipapaubaya na lang sa tadhana? Sa bagay na hindi ko makita o mahawakan? Bakit hindi ko hahabulin, aamuhin, lulundagin, kung maaaring pagsisihan ko ang paglampas ng sandali?
Pasensya na. Sawa na akong kumiling sa kapalaran.
But please... if you ever asked me why I did what I did, I just need you to know one thing: when something comes into your life and you feel something you've never felt before, when it inspires you to do something you've never done before, when it calls you to say something you've never said before, then there's something there.
I may no longer ever find out what that something was, but it was there.
Bakit ko iaasa sa hangin? Bakit ko ipapaubaya na lang sa tadhana? Sa bagay na hindi ko makita o mahawakan? Bakit hindi ko hahabulin, aamuhin, lulundagin, kung maaaring pagsisihan ko ang paglampas ng sandali?
Pasensya na. Sawa na akong kumiling sa kapalaran.
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