No, Friendster, Noooooo!!!

.:No, Friendster, No!:.

It... it came true! I must be psychic!

So after ample warning, Friendster has officially deleted all their user profiles to make way for the site's new direction: as a social gaming website instead of a friend-finder social media network that it predated Facebook in, but was, in the long run, clearly outmatched by.

So now, you have a Friendster that once looked like this:

I wish I screencapped my old one before deletion, though, for direct contrast.

To a brand-spanking new one that looks like this:

But hey, I still have a Friendster account, albeit without all my awesome testi's.

This is a new frontier for Friendster, and one that I'm honestly thoroughly unfamiliar with. Still, for all of its faults, Friendster has and will always hold a special place in my dark, twisted heart.

.:What Were They Thinking: Part III!:.

I don't know if this is going to be regular or what, but let's face it: there always will be a ton of evidence whenever we get into discussions about boneheaded branding decisions.

Having said that, here's a pretty interesting article about making illegal streaming a felony. What's amusing about this is that the Electronic Frontier Foundation was being quoted as one of the bill's detractors, and I couldn't help but snigger when I realized what the acronym was actually spelling... what the EFF, indeed.

But even more amusing than that would have to be the fact that in a nod to the fact that many people want to have the benefits of liposuction but not its invasive nature, scientists far and wide have looked long and hard for alternative methods to really push us forward.

Enter BeloMed and her new patented product that she managed to license from very influential cosmetic surgeons abroad with the brand new...

Need I say anything more?

I guess you can't blame Dra. Belo because it's clearly a procedure that she licensed, so she just can't change the name at will. Nonetheless, it's hard not to imagine that someone was so cocksure about dicking around with all of us when they came up with this name. It's like it was meant to titillate or shaft everyone who didn't understand what was going on. They just had to poke fun at all of us.

Yes, I went there. I totally did. 'Cause I'm a classy guy like that.

Yet Again, What Were They Thinking?!?

.:MILF Used To Be Intimidating...:.

In the Philippines, the Moro Islamic Liberation Front is indeed a fearsome countenance. A group of Muslim separatists that split from the erstwhile revolutionary Moro National Liberation Front, the MILF is often considered a terrorist group by international observers, allegedly with ties to the likes of the Jemaah Islamiyah and the Al Qaeda. Despite ongoing peace talks, there is no question that the MILF remains a force to be reckoned with and one that must be dealt with very carefully at all times.

And then American Pie came along. And the MILF never meant the same thing in this world after that.

So imagine my amusement when I saw this headline...

You can "declog my river" anytime, baby!

Obviously, the Moro Islamic Liberation Front isn't to blame for the unfortunate alternate meaning of their acronym, but there's been a significant drop in bad-@$$edness for these guys ever since American Pie came along. And now, they just turn into a lousy punchline whenever they do something that ends up getting them in the papers.

.:Bubba Tea Licious: Really?!?:.

If there are three things you can count on, it's death, taxes, and sniggering over a name like "Bubba Tea Licious" everytime it's said aloud, especially in the Philippines, of all places.

Ang sarap mag-Bubba Tea!!!

Did these guys even bother to think about this when they picked up the franchise? How'd that franchise meeting come up? Imagine if yours truly and Maro decided to start a tea franchise.

Hey! We're gonna franchise milk tea!

So what are our choices?

Well, there's the party teahouse place, Tea Gang...

No, that sounds too dry.

How about a tea delivery place like Tea Call?

That seems a bit too self-serving.

Well, maybe Proh's Tea?

No, that's too easy.

How about the one from the couple? Tea Gus-Anne?

Now, that's too hard.

Well, the last one we have is Bubba Tea Licious, so I dunno...

That sounds explosive! Let's take that franchise!

And thus, Bubba Tea Licious was born! Awesome tea, tea-spurting name!

P.S. Bubba Tea Licious, please don't sue me. MILF, please don't kill me.

What Were They Thinking? Heh.

.:That’s My Girl!:.

“Let me have two of your best photos!” There’s no way this could possibly go horribly wrong, right?

So apparently, there was a site that allowed you to upload a couple of pictures so you could Be Gerald Anderson’s girl in a mock commercial. It was a pretty cool concept, and one of my officemates was practically gushing as she looped the commercial featuring herself again and again after she created it.

Essentially, the first picture would be used as Gerald’s cellphone wallpaper and the picture in his photo frame. He will end up kissing the photo frame before heading out to pick up his girl at her place.

The second photo will be shown while he’s driving to the girl’s house. He’ll point at it, and then say “that’s my girl!”

Pretty cute execution, interactive, and obviously, effective. What could possibly go wrong with this, right?

A lot, apparently. Almost predictably, someone made an explicit version of the commercial, since there weren't any means of screening the images uploaded. Folks, welcome to the internet.

For a while, you would’ve seen on this link a very not safe for work tour de force bastardization of the commercial. Man, what an incorrigible bastich that person really was, whoever he or she is. ;)

All praise be to Aljur for saving our eyes and sanity from the horror!

What was intended to be a cheesy but awesome way to market Maybelline products almost ended up being a massive disaster, if the news about it didn’t get to the people behind the campaign quickly enough. True, the video still exists, but at least, now that the people behind this have now been properly introduced to the 34th Rule of the Internet, I suppose a little foresight would be helpful from this point on, right?

That’s my girl - or maybe not.

I guess when you’re marketing something, you really have to cover all avenues, no matter how mundane that may seem to do. Don’t really want to condemn anyone here, as it’s clearly just an oversight, but I guess this will serve as a harsh but useful lesson for future reference.

Needless to say, shortly after this whole mess was exposed, the site was quickly taken down. I’m sure they’d want to put it back up after a while, but by then, they’d be more stringent with screening images, I’m guessing. We ended up having fun with the whole story on the air in the Disenchanted Kingdom last Friday, though (Without mentioning the brand in question, obviously.).

In the end, though, is it really horrible of me that I just had to chuckle over the whole affair? It was just such an obvious, albeit horrible, joke to pull. You gotta admit, if you've been on the internet long enough, you kinda begin to expect this stuff would happen at the drop of a hat.

.:The Unfortunate Implications Of Supot.ph:.

I think with medical science being how it is today, it’s pretty much been made clear that circumcision has more to do with cultural and societal pressure than actual medical benefits, given the inherent medical risks of performing circumcision as opposed to the limited scientific benefits that circumcision provides.

That being said, those very cultural and societal forces at work still make the Filipino word for uncut, su-pot’, pretty damned funny on the surface. I for one wouldn’t use the word as a slur against anyone’s manhood, but I certainly wouldn’t be surprised to see it still used to this very day, unfortunately.

Oh, come off it. Pinoys are smart enough to know which supot we mean. Right? Right?!?

Which leads me to the unfortunately-named Supot.ph. While I’m sure they meant su’-pot, or the local word for a plastic bag, the lack of accent marks on the site conjures only the other meaning for the word, which makes you look at this fledgling e-classifieds website in a whole different (I’m tempted to say “uncut,” but that’s too easy.), unfortunate light.

Neither does it help when the people behind this website are known collectively as “Team Supot,” which just makes people wonder if they’re secretly a lobby group against an apparently barbaric Jewish and Islamic tradition. Sorta like Russel Crowe, I guess.

I got nothing, really. The jokes just write themselves at this point, and I’m afraid of making one that would be deemed “too easy,” like another joke about “your mom” or something (See what I did there?).

Jampacked!

.:Today’s WTFery...:.

I’ll have you know that I actually like listening to Church songs. Having been a Bosconian for a significant chunk of my life and a member of the choir in high school, I have to say that I really like good Christian songs, and don’t mind even if they can sometimes get a bit heavy-handed with the witnessing. I mean, hey, if you truly believe in saving souls and you feel obliged to save other people’s souls through song, I guess it sorta makes sense that you’d be dropping some anvils in your lyrical stylings. It comes with the territory, and so long as the music’s catchy enough and people willingly listen to it, that can’t be bad at all, right?

This is not one of those songs.

Do I even need to say anything else about how awesome this video is? It’s so bad, it’s good!

.:February 18 And 19 Couldn’t Come Sooner!:.

Forget all those other concerts happening this month! Resorts World is where it’s at, as they take one of the most awesome acts of all time to the Philippines!

Better than Fra Lippo Lippi? Yes! Better than Justin Bieber? Definitely! Better than Taylor Effin’ Swift? Absolutely!

Get ready as Resorts World presents to you...

The Chippendales!

What more could you ask for, right?

.:Sugarfree’s Last Few Dances:.

You know, I tried taking a picture of Sugarfree in saGuijo last night (It was actually my first time there!), but the place was so jampacked that I couldn’t even get inside the door and had to satisfy my craving for Ebe and the boys by listening to them outside, where every single audience member was singing along to every song Sugarfree played that night.

It’s actually sad, because the more they talk, it actually doesn’t sound like Sugarfree will continue on after Ebe departs. They’ve been referring to Sugarfree as though the band were really disbanding at the end of the month, and I guess that might really be the case.

Having said that, I caught Duster early on in the evening, and of course, Jonas Diego and I were very appreciative of the musical stylings of the band, fronted by my batchmate, Ms. Katwo Librando-Puertollano (That’s a rich-sounding family name, if there ever was one. Heh.). While there, we ran into Karla Redor and Sha, who really were rocking that night as well.

After Duster, in came Peryodiko, and I keep learning to appreciate that group more and more. Originally, all I thought of them was “that band with Ebe’s brother in it,” but now? Man, I really love “Bakasyon.” It gets catchier each time I hear it.

Sugarfree predictably brought the house down when they performed. I don’t think there was any doubt that they would be the highlight of the night, and from “Hay Buhay” to “Telepono,” they performed like there was no tomorrow, and the absolutely jampacked saGuijo just went nuts in appreciation for the band.

DK Recap, And Weird Newsbits

.:More DK Hilarity!:.

Expect me to be doing more of this in the coming weeks, because I plan to drop by the Disenchanted Kingdom more often, but the DK has been extremely fun last night, as not only did I meet their new jock, Angry Bird, for the first time, but I was even introduced to this awesome girl who baked cookies for the DK crew, Ms. Bernie Ann!

It was a fun night, really, as we were just having fun talking about random stuff including certain things that fall under “too soon,” but then, once Bernie Ann came in, we just decided to have a lot of fun with her by playing Por-No Por-yes, and boy, did she do well, getting an amazing nine out of ten, coming behind only Rhian Ramos herself, who scored a perfect ten.

It was funny, because I actually had to explain certain things to her about the porn industry, and Logan poked fun over my level of knowledge despite the fact that I happen to have the worst score in Por-No Por-Yes of all time. I told her about stuff like the YouTube channel “Porn Minus the Porn”, as well as did Mr. Voice impressions for movie trailers about the weirdest porn films, and I had to explain copyright laws that allow porn companies to produce films under the “parody” defense without having to worry about being sued by their original sources.

Overall, it was a pretty fun show, and Marf’s ODK was as great as it always happens to be. I fumed a bit about the news over Enchong Dee courting Kim Chiu. So not happening. LOL.

.:Marry Me, Kim Chiu:.

Now, everyone knows how big a fan I’ve always been of Kim Chiu, and considering how I’ve practically reviewed every film of note where she starred in with Gerald Anderson, I guess that was no big surprise to anyone.

To me, despite her sometimes odd speech patterns, Kim Chiu exudes grace, poise, and utmost class. There’s just something about her that makes it impossible for you to want to ever look at her in any other way than as the paragon of the demure but beautiful Fil-Chinese lady that she is.

And then she shows up in this TV commercial...

What is this? I don’t even... is that even possible without CGI? Did she just scream out to everyone that she’s Elasti-girl in disguise? This is outrageous! How dare she betray her fans and shed her squeaky-clean image and look like a complete whore? How could she ever live this down, and... waitaminute, she’s really that flexible?!?

Marry me, Kim Chiu!!! :P

.:News Article Title Fail...:.

So apparently, the Megastar picked a feud with Hayden Kho because she jumped to conclusions. At no point did Hayden Kho even say that he was pertaining to Sharon Cuneta, but apparently, Ate Shawie has had her billboard scoffed at one time too many and ended up pouncing on the first hint of snark in her direction.

Unfortunately, she looked like a fool when Hayden promptly responded to her and denied the whole thing. Even more unfortunately, the news article was titled this way...

Really? Really?!?

She slammed him on the billboard! How hardcore is that? It’s like a Wrestlemania moment or something!

Random News Bits

.:Tah-rayyyyyy!!!:.

Maybe this isn’t true at all, but I find it amusing that Rain is rejecting Megan Fox’s advances.

The young star, who’s had many people comparing her to Angelina Jolie, has supposedly expressed interest in the Korean superstar, only to be rebuffed because he’s apparently “not interested”.

Well, when the running joke about Ms. Fox is that she’s more charitable than Angelina Jolie because while Jolie does Unicef stuff, Ms. Fox is getting it on with Brian Austin Green, I suppose that’s a mildly dubious distinction for Rain to earn. That, and hey, look, Megan’s taken, and possibly, so is Rain!

I seriously doubt it’s because Rain is gay, or anything like that, because I personally can say “no” to a date with Megan Fox, not because I think I’m too hot for her, but simply because I really only ever date Chinese or Korean girls. It’s a simple matter of preference.

Having said that, if this report is indeed true, I wonder if Megan would keep on pressing the issue? Will she get Rain to yield to dinner? Only time can tell.

Then again, I think I know now why Rain isn’t going for Megan at all...

... it’s because Megan isn’t black!

Shocking, huh?

.:Lady, I Got News For Ya...:.

A woman is suing an Egyptian hotel for supposedly getting her daughter pregnant via stray bodily fluids in their pool.

It doesn’t get any dumber than this, folks.

I hate to break it to you, lady, but unless your daughter still has her hymen intact, there is no way you can possibly prove that this pregnancy was caused by stray bodily fluids in a pool when chlorine and simply being exposed to air can kill those little tadpoles in a matter of minutes. Unless there was some really sick stuff going on in the pool area, it’s a safe bet your daughter got pregnant the traditional way.

Picard, take it away.

Pacefalm!

.:Bravo! Bravo!:.

There are no words.

The aftermath of this idiotic Hayden Kho scandal extends beyond the unfortunate situation one lady doctor not named Vicki Belo finds herself in.

Quite honestly, when I think about it, I find next to no sympathy for the sexy star involved in this scandal, given how she did this knowing full well Hayden was in the middle of a relationship. I think it was a wasted opportunity when she, of all people, played the poor victim card, because she could’ve struck a blow for women had she asserted herself and stood up for the doctor lady instead.

Of course, that’s just me. I mean, what do I know? I’m just a PR guy, and obviously, a lot of this situation, sad and unfortunate as it may be, is certainly a matter of PR.

It’s easy to play the victim card, even though this may just be instant karma striking out at the sexy star. Despite that, if she came out strong, and asserted herself and shrugged off the scandal as if it were nothing, sympathy would still be with her, but this time, they would know that she’s definitely in charge and will not just allow people to judge her solely because she starred (unwittingly, so I heard) in a sex scandal video.

Had she instead stood up for the lady doctor instead of playing the victim card, I’m sure the mood of the entire affair would’ve turned on its ear, chastity advocates be damned. Sometimes, no-selling a controversy could do you more good than making it obvious how affected you are.

.:Embarrassing:.

No witty captions needed.

In what can only be termed as “embarrassing”, the sex video brouhaha disrupts an Iloilo council session.

First of all, why do we even need to have a resolution to condemn Dr. Kho’s actions? Do we really need to waste taxpayer’s money on a tautology? That’s like saying we should spend a session to declare that water is wet. I don’t know about you, but I find this terribly unproductive and even annoying.

What makes this article absolutely lol-worthy, though, is how these supposedly honourable councillors jostled to see the video that they were intending to condemn. The sheer hypocrisy just emanates from the whole setup.

Guys, as Fritz succinctly put it, we didn’t pay taxes for our politicians to watch porn. Seriously. If you want to watch those videos, don’t do it on the taxpayers’ dime. You’re making a mockery out of governance.

Are these the stellar examples of Filipino leadership that we can muster? Or do we have more honourable leaders we can look up to, like, say, our senators?

Oh, just you wait.

.:Yes! Let’s Make What People Do In The Bedroom OUR Business!:.

In a fit of knee-jerk reactionism, Senator Pia Cayetano has drafted an Anti-Voyeurism Bill for the Senate to debate on. It’s a bit funny that it wasn’t Senator Revilla who drafted the bill, considering how much noise he’s been making, but whatever. Of course, notwithstanding rumors that the good Senator has his own video scandal, you'd think he'd be rushing to make a law over an issue he initiated via a privilege speech, right?

The thing is, the way the bill is currently worded is incredibly lopsided and it reeks of loopholes. The priority on this law is clearly misplaced as there are more important matters to make time for, one of the least important being the book blockade (We of course assume legislation in aid of addressing the more primal needs of our nation, such as food, clothing, and shelter, should also be in the wings.) that has conveniently been left ignored by our lawmakers, except for Senator Miriam Defensor-Santiago.

The undue attention this scandal has been getting has been ridiculous and a monumental waste of time. I wish I didn’t have to write about it, but hopefully bringing up the sheer inanity of it all would make people realize that there are more important things to shell out our tax money on. Really, there are. Do we suddenly spring to action only because some top TV star is affected? What about us lesser mortals who don’t have high profiles to railroad our agendas with? Do we just throw these crusades under the bus?

What about those other girls who had their sex scandals on the internet? Why do we seem to not care about their plight? Is it because they’re not celebrities? As one of the guys who strongly believes in the saying, “I may not like what you have to say, but I sure as Hades would fight for your right to say it,” I’m already put off by the fact that Congress has or is in the process of banning hentai, without even knowing what “hentai” really is, and completely leaving alone other forms of pornography.

I cannot, by any stretch of imagination, figure out why so much time is being wasted on this by the Senate. I’m sure this issue should be addressed. There is no question about that. However, I believe that there are more appropriate departments that should be able to deal with it. Hades, Edu Manzano and the OMB seems better-equipped to handle this issue than Sen. Revilla, and maybe they should leave the issue in his hands instead. The Senate has more pressing matters to deal with than this.

Dear lawmakers, what’s up with that? Why should we care about what people watch or say or Hades, draw, when they’re of proper age? I know our concept of “freedom of expression” in this country is quite “less” free than that of the United States, but sometimes, I don’t think this is really a case of “restricted freedom” as it is a case of “mildly liberal inquisition”.

What other people do in their bedroom should be none of our bloody business. Ironically, the more repressed our society is, the more we concern ourselves with it.

Deplorable! Absolutely deplorab... w-ait... lemme rewind that again... yeah! Deplorable! Absolutely deplorable!

.:In Other News...:.

... Dr. Hayden Kho is not related to my batchmate, Darn Kho. Lol.

Daily Sidetrack: A Case Of Denial

I got this from AJ, and the picture was taken from Bilerico.com. Obviously, this was from Failblog.

Some people can be in soooooo much denial... ::snorts::

Honey, no need to rationalize that much.

Today's Lighthearted Dose Of WTFery...

.:In A World, Where People Freefalling Off Helicopters Can Survive...:.

... this summer, Jason Statham is Chev Chelios, and he's back in the same crap you've seen over. And over. And over. Again.

It's called "Crank 2", and I'm so first in line to watch this baby!

.:I Don't Watch TV Much...:.

... so this is new to me.

Nonetheless, That's a pretty funny version, to say the least. I ought to give that a try one of these days. Lol.

.:Still Alive?:.

Yes, I am. Did you think I'd crumble? Did you think I'd lay down and die?

Taking The Good With The Bad...

.:Umm... Whut?:.

Lemme talk about my show last Friday, which was simply one of the craziest shows I ever had. I took a show for a friend, and needless to say, I was genuinely surprised with how things turned out... heh.

So anyways... my initial evaluation of the event was that it was my worst show ever. Then again, when I thought about it a bit, it was one of my most awesome shows ever, if only for the sheer bizarreness of the whole night.

It opened a bit annoyingly, truth be told. The company's owner was a veritable heckler, and he didn't like that he couldn't figure out how the magic was done. Needless to say, his antagonism of all things magical but undecodable would set the mood for the rest of the night, as I was wowing the audience with my hybrid stage/table hopping show, and he was loudly complaining that he doesn't like that I'm using “small props”.

Let's back up a moment here, because I have to point out something... I was booked to do table magic, not stage magic. Despite that, when I was asked to improvise, I still managed to do so, because really, that's what professionals do. All the while, he was complaining loudly, and it was obvious everyone else did not share his opinion.

So anyways, despite the infuriating turn of events, I still did my show well, and the appreciative audiences made it clear that night. Soon enough, the owner was asked to make a speech, and it was a doozy! Every forty-five seconds, he practically demanded applause! Here are some snippets from his amazing 30-minute long (drunken) monologue...

It's going to be Christmas, and you'd get a bonus soon. Pero yun lang ba yon? Bonus lang? Palakpakan niyo naman ako!

You eat my food, drink my drinks, as I welcome you to this... merrymaking. Yun lang ba yon? Merrymaking lang? Palakpakan niyo naman ako!

It's so hard to speak here in front of you. Sana naman, lend me your hears. At palakpakan niyo naman ang inyong leader.

I am the great (NAME OMITTED)! I have the blood of martyrs. Martyrs like Jose Rizal and Andres Bonifacio. Isang letter lang baguhin mo sa pangalan ko, martir na ako! What about you? Do you have the blood of a martyr? Please do.

What word can you form from “Merry”? Diba, you can form my name? What about “Christmas”? Hiram ka lang ng “N” sa “New Year”, pwede mo na rin gawin ang family name ko! Therefore, I AM MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Can anyone here replace me? Of course not! Bakit pa? Para saan pa? Eh I am the best president this company ever had! Palakpakan naman yang best na iyan!!!

Did I mention that he was the guy who started the company? It's easy to be the best president of the company when you've been its only president...

This was bizarre and hilarious, but I certainly would hope to never have to go through it again... heh.

.:In Contrast...:.

… I had an awesome show last Tuesday for a very intimate gathering of family and friends somewhere in Quezon City.

While I guaranteed a performance of about an hour, the very receptive crowd ended up getting treated to a full extra hour of non-stop magic, comedy, and even mentalism. It was, without a doubt, one of my best close-up shows to date, and it definitely got great reactions all around. Needless to say, the people got more than their money's worth because I was just hitting my stride and all.

Ah, well. Here's hoping for more of these awesome close-up shows in the near future. :)

Oh, Japan! Never Change!!!

.:It Can Only Come From Japan!:.

Don't you just love how Japan seems to come up with the craziest, most f%$#^d up ideas?

Well, they're at it again.

Welcome to the next-gen "experience"! the appropriately named game developer company "Overflow" has not only come up with another Ero-game for the PC, they have even come up with an *ahem* attachment that will "simulate" for you.

Those parts look pretty fragile, though. And for the life of me, the logistics of this "machine" boggles me.

And... is that a fist? Good heavens.

I'd like to have these goggles exchanged, please. They do nothing.

Your Moment Of Zen...

.:Separated At Birth?:.

I meant the Bluetooth Headphones, silly! (Picture courtesy of veggiecircle.)

A Backblogging Rundown...

.:Pressed For Time...:.

Much as I'd like to split this up into several entries, I'd rather just run through the list quickly, because thanks to my hectic schedule and Plurking, I can't blog sensibly for the time being. Gawd, can't wait 'til I finish my thesis... but I'd be so much happier starting on it to begin with... :(

.:Happy Twelfth Year, Chico And Delle!:.

You know I love you guys, and anything I do in radio now, I owe to you guys! Congratulations, and more years to come to my absolute favorite morning show!

.:To The People Who Raped That Girl In PUP For Three Days...:.

Damn you pricks. Damn you all to hell. I hope you get locked in jail for life with very lonely prisoners who need a new set of bitches.

Pardon my strong language, but I feel strongly about this.

.:Hard Gay, You Rock!:.

Spent a bit time hanging out during the Brewrats the past couple of days, where I ran into Hard Gay, who was an amazing individual both in and out of character.

I'm a bit saddened by the news that he might be leaving the country soon, though... it was real cool hearing him talk, though. How he's still a true-blue fanboy of fellow cosplayers at heart, how down to earth he really is, and how much he loves what he does.

Hard Gay rocks. And he rocks hard. 'Cause he's rock hard. =P

.:They Didn't Think This Over Too Well... Or Did They?:.

Oh, look! The new Dora Aquapet Toy! How utterly cute and innocent looking and... wait, what?!?

.:Thanks, Gracey!:.

For being there as an awesome co-host and friend in the 3-6 am timeslot, I am very grateful. You're awesome!

And... oh. You still sound like Sharon Yu. =P

That's fine. Our DJ impersonations are getting more and more infamous. Just kidding! Haha.

Aaaannnnddd... My Brain Goes "Melt"...

.:Yarrr.:.

Do I even need to explain this any further?

A Huge Does Of WTFery...

.:Who The ^%&(^@ Told Her She Can Sing?!?:.

Oh, hai guyz! My name is Gretchen and I can haz gold album!!!

Seriously, how the Hades did that album even hit gold?!? I can't even begin to understand how 20,000 people thought the album was good enough to buy, unless of course it was hoarded...

.:Tragedy Because Of A Typo...:.

I think they should worry more about their tempers than their telecom...

That story is just unbelievably tragic, but almost hilariously stupid. I guess I shouldn't be surprised though how uncivilized people can get in the face of flaring tempers.

And speaking of uncivilized...

.:Too Much Trust Can Kill You...:.

Hitchiking for world peace ends in disastrous results.

How ironic and depressing that an act of faith in human goodwill by Italian artist Pippa Bacca ended with her death in Turkey, the very same country where the tragedy mentioned above also happened.

I hate to say "I told you so", but it was bound to happen. It was just sad that the people of the world weren't proven wrong on this one.

Adobong Manaakkk!!!

.:Mission Success!:.

I'll post more extensively about it some other time, but the Mike Defensor party turned out exceedingly well.

I think I managed to turn some heads with the mentalism demonstration, and thanks to the poker chip effect, even the kids can appreciate a bit of mentalism now...

.:How To Cook Adobong Manakk:.

This guy had me in stitches, because you know he tried in earnest. I don't know if he memorized it phonetically or was genuinely fluent in Filipino sans the accent, but there's just something innately endearing about foreigners who try to speak the language.

My hats off to the guy. He sure made my day, and I learned a new word! Apparently, when you mix stuff with the serving spoon, it's called "sangkutsa". That's deep.

Today's LSS of WTFery...

.:A Pet Peeve...:.

Kmh kme ng mg numin, ninm nmn...

While transcribing lyrics for today's post, I ran into a site with "lyrics" like these...

Bah Gawd, what is it with people who type online as if they don't have a full QWERTY keyboard?!?

There are five freaking vowels in the alphabet. Use them!!!

.:Sometimes, Translating Lyrics Yields The Weirdest Results...:.

First, lemme introduce you to one of the newer R&B songs out of there...

Bartender
by T-Pain feat. Akon

Yeah...
Uh-Huh...
Yeah...
Yeah...

Broke up with my girl last night so I went to the club (so I went to the club)
Put on a fresh white suit and a Minicoupe sitting on dubs (sitting on dubs)
I'm just looking for somebody to talk to and show me some love (show me some love)
If you know what I mean... (Uh-Huh)...
Everybody jockin' me as soon as I stepped in the spot (I stepped in the spot)
200 b*****s and I bet aint none of them hot (aint none of them hot)
'Cept for this pretty young thang that was workin' all the way at the top (all the way at the top)
Shawty what is your name?

Oooo she made us drinks, to drink
We drunk 'em, Got drunk
And then I think she thinks I'm cool
She gave me a wink, I winked back
And then I think that, we,d have fun at my spot tonight

I like the bartender
(Oooo If you're lookin' for me)im at the bar with her
(Uh-huh, Ok)
I like the bartender
(Yeah if you're lookin' for me)
I'm at the bar with her
(Oooooh Uh-huh, Ok)

Got a brand new girl so I'm feeling all good inside (all good inside)
Feel like I put some brand new 24's on a brand new ride (on a brand new ride)
Triple shot of patron on the rocks with a little bit a lime (with a little bit a lime)
I'm just keeping it real (Uh-huh)
Baby still working at the club so I'm getting in free (so I'm getting in free)
Wednesday night I'm on the list T-Pain plus 3 (T-Pain plus 3)
Everytime I hit the spot baby girl taking care of me (taking care of me)
How do you think I feel?

Oooo she made us drinks, to drink
We drunk 'em, Got drunk
And now I know she thinks I'm cool
She gave me a wink, I winked back
And then I think that, we 'gon have fun at my spot tonight...

I like the the bartender
(Oooo If you're lookin' for me)
I'm at the bar with her
(Uh-huh, Ok)
I like the bartender
(Yeah if you're lookin' for me)
I'm at the bar with her
(Oooooh Uh-huh, Ok)

Shorty I'm sure you heard that I rarly never come out (never come out)
Unless I'm in the M6 doing tricks freeway burnt out (freeway burnt out)
Got a passenger side that's empty wanting it to be your spot (be your spot)
But you on my billboard we can act like the charts 'gon end up on top (end up on top)
Don't smoke don't drink that's why I don't be by the bar baby (baby)
Just lookin' at you from a distance looking like a god-damn star baby (baby)
So my girl don't see me T-Pain can I get those keys to the car? (those keys to the car?)
'Bout to go and Bang Bang Boogie with my cutie and I'll see you tomar' (see you tomar')

Oooo she made us drinks, to drink
We drunk 'em, Got drunk
And now I know she thinks I'm cool
She gave me a wink, I winked back (Uh-huh)
And then I think that, (Uh-huh) we 'gon have fun at my spot tonight...

I like the bartender
(Oooo If you're lookin' for me)
I'm at the bar with her
(Uh-huh, Ok)
I like the bartender
(Yeah if you're lookin' for me)
I'm at the bar with her
(Oooooh Uh-huh, Ok)

Pretty cool, huh?

Well, you ain't seen nothin' yet.

Barista
Artist Unknown

yeah!
sige! ye'...
cge.....

Hiwalay sa syota ko kagabi kaya ako'y nag-club (ako'y nag-club)
Suot puting Amerikana... tsikot, mini-cab na makinTUB (na makintub)
Ako'y naghahanap ng tao na makakausap at malaplap (at malaplap)
'lam mong ibig sabihin... (Uh-huh)
Lahat nakipaglandian pag tapak ko pa lang sa tapat (tapak sa tapat)
Dalawang daang p*** hula koy sila'y walang lasa (walang lasa)
Pwera na lang sa babaeng na nagtatrabaho umunlad siya (umunlad siya)
Pandak anong iyong pangalan...

Oooo kumuha ng maiinom, na inumin
Ininom namin, kami'y nalasing
Ngayo'y alam ko na iniisip niya ako'y astig
Kinindatan niya ako kinindatan ko rin siya
At ngayon naisip ko na kami'y may patutunguhan

Gusto ko ang barista
(Kung hinahanap mo ako)
Ako'y kasama niya
(Uh-huh... sige...)
Gusto ko ang barista
(Yeah kung hinahanap mo ako)
Ako'y kasama niya
(Uh-huh... sige...)

May bago akong babae kaya maganda pakiramdam ko sa loob (pakiramdam ko sa loob)
Parang nag-suot ng bente kwatro parang bago ang kotse ko (ang kotse ko)
Tumitira ng alak sa bato na may konting kalamansi (kalamansi)
Ito'y makatotohanan... (Uh-huh)
Sa club nagtatrabaho kaya wala akong entrance fee (walang entrance fee)
Huwebes ng gabi nasa listahan Dance Show plus 3 (Dance Show plus 3)
Pag ako'y nandiyan na inaalagaan niya ako lagi (Inaalagaan lagi)
Ano'ng mararamdaman...

Oooo kumuha ng maiinom, na inumin
Ininom namin, kami'y nalasing
Ngayo'y alam ko na iniisip niya ako'y astig
Kinindatan niya ako kinindatan ko rin siya
At ngayon naisip ko na magkakatuwaan kami ngayong gabing ito, saya

Gusto ko ang barista
(Kung hinahanap mo ako)
Ako'y kasama niya
(Uh-huh... sige...)
Gusto ko ang barista
(Yeah kung hinahanap mo ako)
Ako'y kasama niya
(Uh-huh... sige...)

Pandak sigurado kong narinig mo di ako gimikero (gimikero)
Puwera nalang mag-e-em six tuluy-tuloy lawit ang dila ko (lawit dila ko)
Sa tsikot ko may lugar ka sige na sige na pumatong ka (pumatong ka)
Saking billboard puta puta 'di 'ko maintindihan pinagsasabi niya (pinagsasabi niya)
Yosi inom 'di ko yan nakasanayang ginagawa baby (baby)
Dito lang sa malayo mukha ka talagang 'T*** i**ng Diyosa baby (baby)
Kaya't ako pilit na patagong magkikita susi nang kotse ko akin na (akin na)
Kaya't kami'y magtitirahan mabubuwisit ako bukas na...

Oooo kumuha ng maiinom, na inumin
Ininom namin, kami'y nalasing
Ngayo'y alam ko na iniisip niya ako'y astig
Kinindatan niya ako kinindatan ko rin siya
At ngayon naisip ko na magkakatuwaan kami ngayong gabing ito, saya

Gusto ko ang barista
(Kung hinahanap mo ako)
Ako'y kasama niya
(Uh-huh... sige...)
Gusto ko ang barista
(Yeah kung hinahanap mo ako)
Ako'y kasama niya
(Uh-huh... sige...)

I don't know about you, but I laughed real hard when I heard the Tagalog version...

Don't Call Him Harry Potter. Call Him...

.:H Piddy!:.

Harry Potter, despite being a storied hero in J.K. Rowling's series, was always of the rebellious type. Sure, he's close with an authority figure (Dumbledore), but even Dumbledore himself is a bit of a deviant... queer, if you will, in more ways than one. Harry's never really been the type who would just fit in. Snape's evaluation of Harry was somewhat spot-on: Harry would always find himself in the middle of something big all the time. Of course, Snape assumed Harry intended this, but given the kind of trouble Harry ends up with whenever he becomes an attraction, we can safely assume this isn't necessarily the case.

But you see, for all his "rebelliousness", Harry still doesn't fit the mold of a rebel (Except maybe the emo rebel that he was in the fifth book.). He's an oddity among apparent oddities, but it's not his oddities that really make him stand out. Quite simply, it's specific characteristics like courage and downright luck that make him different, not an inherently unique characteristic about him. Most people could have more courage than him, but it's his luck, good or bad, that throws him into the limelight.

So for this exercise of the mind, what if we imagined Harry to fit the ironic "mold" of a rebel? How would it be?

Well, I think we found the answer, and it may break your brain...

Allow Me To Break Your Brain...

.:Your Moment Of Zen:.

With Samuel L. Jackson, the movie should've been retitled as "1".

.:Harvey Birdman, Attorney At Law Rocks!:.

I just finished the game, and it was a laugh and a half! If you have a PSP, you should get it, if you're fond of comedy.

Of course, if you're a hardcore gamer, I wouldn't recommend this, though...

.:U2 Is Confirmed...:.

This site may be delayed, but from what I know, and according to a co-worker of mine who's a HUGE fan, it looks like U2 is performing sometime this October...

If her smile got any bigger, it'd go all the way to the back of her head! =P

Just To Let You Know...

.:I Just Can't Get Over It!:.

There's something especially endearing about these guys... it's just so sweet!

Same with these two guys, really... talk about being two peas in a pod!

Just breaking your brain today with a bit of Surprise!Buttsecks!