Sometimes he rants, sometimes he smiles. Sometimes he jokes, sometimes he sighs. Sometimes he's happy, sometimes he's sad. Sometimes he's good, sometimes he's bad. Sometimes he's there, sometimes he's gone. Sometimes he stalls, sometimes he's done. But whatever Marcelle says, whatever he'd do, you can be sure, it's true! It's true!
I really was stupid for a while. It was so easy to get caught up in the rapture, that you forget that things aren't actually anywhere nearly as good as you think it is. And that's how it went on for so long. I fooled myself into thinking the world of you, so thank you for pulling the plug on me and revealing exactly why I deserved better than you.
Was I ever loved by you? Probably not. You probably don't even know what the word means up to this very moment. I never had your heart. And the moment you got what you needed from me you just lay in wait for the first excuse to cut and run.
Don't say I never did right by you. Don't go around painting me as the bad guy in all of this, when after all has been said and done, you bailed on me when you found that I have outlived my usefulness.
Now, you are indeed out of reach. And I'm done stretching.
Some people love shoes of certain kinds...
Different strokes for different folks. It's always been like that, hasn't it? It's good to know that no matter how things may change, some things in life are still reliable. Conflict may not be the most pleasant thing ever, but it certainly holds its appeal if only for being so predictable.
It's why I'm confused sometimes. I'm confused because it seems that conflict has only ever been considered negatively, when, in reality, it reminds us that choices are certainly free and open for each and every one of us. Some people love afternoons or the way the moon shines...
It's always been nice to think about life when the rush of the day has finally passed, and you get to consider life, and the humdrum of it all becomes a welcome respite rather than a threat. But then, as you contemplate things, what's left to do afterwards? So much more, and it all just flies in the face of what we think we know. And they have their reasons to feel the way they do...
It's easy to understand. It's easy to realize why people will never see eye to eye for all of eternity. It's easy to investigate the reasons behind them, if you really wanted to. It doesn't make conflict any less arduous or tedious than it always ends up being. That's why I asked myself what it is with you...
So what is it with us, then? Why is it that you and I never seem to find ourselves at the same point in our lives? Is it a question of one or both of us adjusting more, or is it simply a case of things not being meant to be from the get go?
I ask myself because I'd like to think I've been practically exhaustive in doing everything in my power to make this work out. But I don't know anymore. It's like running your head against a wall, again and again. You know it changes nothing, but sometimes, the pain reminds you you're at least doing something about it. Is there something wrong with the way I speak?
Saan tayo nagkulang? Saan ako nagkulang? Or am I just really asking the wrong questions here? Sometimes, the worst thing you could ever do to me is when you show me kindness, because I realize almost immediately after that you are just a good person, and not a person who treats me as someone special. You treat me kindly because it is your nature: not because I mean the world to you.
I wish you weren't that benevolent sometimes. Do you even see me when I pass you on the street?
It's easy for you because it's gotten to a point where none of this means a thing to you now. Unfortunately, I can't quite find myself on the same level.
So I guess this will keep going on, and this won't change anytime soon, and that's why I guess after everything has been said and done... I close my eyes and let it be, because I just can't see, why you love to hate me...
Starting Over Again Hey, look! A Project 52 entry and a film review!
Need I say it? SPOILERS AHEAD!!!
And when I hold you in my arms, I promise you...
So I asked a new friend to catch a movie, seeing as I haven't been to the cinemas in ages, and lo and behold, she suggested that we watch "Starting Over Again," despite the fact that she's already seen it thrice before.
I can see why she caught it thrice.
"Starting Over Again" is a tale of love lost and a chance to regain it, initially framed around the conceit of a fictional website, LetterLater.com, which is based on a real one. With LetterLater, you get to send an email to someone at a scheduled time. Five years after their breakup, Ginny (Toni Gonzaga) receives an email from Marco (Piolo Pascual), asking if there's still room for a second chance.
The problem was, in the five years that have elapsed, Ginny and Marco have been as far apart as can be. Ginny starts hoping, and even reminiscing about the past that they had.
You're gonna feel a love that's beautiful and new...
Next thing she knew, Marco came back into her life, asking her to convert his ancestral home into a restaurant. Marco, from being her teacher in college, ended up becoming a chef: a dream he pursued and finally succeeded in, after so many failures. Was this the sign she was looking for? It seemed to be that way, until in came Patty (Iza Calzado), Marco's fiancee.
As the days went by, it was clear that Ginny saw things that simply weren't there. She deluded herself into finding signs that didn't exist, all brought about by a letter written five years before, working her way back into her life, just as Marco himself did the same. Where was this headed?
This time I'll love you even better than I ever did before...
As her hare-brained scheme to get back with Marco got crazier and crazier, Ginny started being completely disconnected with the reality: Patty was still in the picture. And at her most brazen and most selfish, she ended up almost stealing Marco right back, and even begged Patty to let him go. It was rather uncharacteristic of a Star Cinema film to make their protagonist almost downright unsympathetic, but they went there.
After a mishap, things come to a head. Why did they part ways five years before, to begin with? Why did Ginny choose to turn her back on Marco? Why did Marco move on? The reasons, piece by piece, slowly fell into place.
And you'll be in my heart, forevermore...
In what was the most satisfying ending after what was nearly a moral horizon crossing for Ginny, she realized that "starting over again" doesn't necessarily mean they have to be lovers again. Neither do they need to ever unlove each other.
That's how real life works, really. Patty said it best: their love may be boring and quiet, but it is sure. Sometimes, it isn't the whiz-bang gestures in life, but simply the fact that true love is there. Quiet. Strong. Constant. Not even the biggest gestures could sway what is real, and Ginny had to learn that. There was a reason Marco came back into her life: she needed to learn how to love and let go at the same time. For her own sake.
And now we're starting over again it's not the easiest thing to do...
I loved this movie, and I have to admit that I hold it in about as high regard as I hold "One More Chance," which is high praise. Piolo and Toni had an amazing kind of chemistry, and Iza Calzado more than held her own as a solid foil to Toni, making you see that no matter how much you might want to root for Ginny and Marco to get their second chance, Patty deserved her first just as much.
It's a movie about losing love and regaining it, only to realize that it doesn't mean the same thing anymore. And that? That's not a bad thing at all.
I'm feeling inside again, 'cause every time I looked at you...
If there's one thing I can't help but appreciate about the film, it's the fact that it takes the concept of the "one great love" and makes you understand that this one great love, no matter how powerful and all-encompassing, is never a guarantee. Sometimes, we tarry and look for the big gestures and the amazing grand moments that we end up completely forgetting that life isn't made up of one big gesture after another.
The plateaus of life make up far, far more than the highs and the lows. If you can't see that, and if you end up feeling compelled to always chase after the highs, then you really can never know for sure if that can keep going forever. It probably won't.
I know we're starting over again, this time we'll leave all the pain away...
Moving on doesn't mean leaving each other. Moving on doesn't mean forgetting everything. And starting over again sure as Hades doesn't mean going back to the same old story, as if neither of you learned the lessons from the past. In real life, there is no true redo, because we learned something. Thankfully, that is one advantage we have that Joel and Clem in "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" never had: now we know better. Now we know not to make the same mistakes again.
After all, isn't it true that we can never keep laughing at the same joke, no matter how good it is? So why should we keep crying over the same tragedy, no matter how horrible it is?
Welcome home, my lover and friend. We are starting over, over again.
"Fun" Evaluation: A+ (Fun, heartwarming, and even tear-inducing. This movie had it all.)
"Critical" Evaluation: A+ (Stellar acting, stellar cast, and a storyline that cuts so close to home it hurts - in a good kind of way.)
To say that this recent trip I had to Australia was life-changing would be an understatement. I’m still writing with a broken heart, yet all I could think is I wouldn’t have traded this holiday in for the world.
By now, if the person reading this knew me just a bit, they would know that I went to Australia to see someone: a fulfilment of a promise years in the making, and perhaps a way to bring things back the way they were. This isn’t exactly the happy ending I’ve always dreamed of for myself, but it’s also a new beginning, and perhaps, rightly, as Ramon Bautista would say, now is my chance to do amazing things.
My trek started with a quick detour to iBlog, since I wanted to make sure that I never missed the event in every single year that it happened. It was fun, really, and it was heartwarming to know how many people in the room already knew of the 8List even before I plugged it while I was talking very briefly about the website. From there, we made last-minute preparations for my trip, and I was stoked and all set to go.
I flew into Sydney around Saturday night, after spending eleven hours trying to catch some sleep in the Kuala Lumpur International Airport. The layover fell smack dab in the middle of the night, so it wasn’t a good idea to try my luck and take in the nightlife of Malaysia, with not a single Ringgit to my name. Nonetheless, the flights were uneventful, although I was pretty impressed by how sprawling and modern KLIA looked, even when compared to the Sydney or Melbourne airports.
Around 7:15 in the evening or so on June 1, I finally hopped off the plane and it took a while before I finally saw My Beloved. There she sat, waiting for me, beautiful as she has ever been. We had very little time for courtesies as we made our way to the bus station just outside of the airport, where I noticed just how crazy cold the weather was in Australia. I wish I went here in summer, but alas, Beloved’s birthday fell on June 2, and I had no intention of missing that for the entire world.
After unpacking a bit and then repacking for our trip to Melbourne, the two of us went to Sydney Harbor for their Vivid light show, and what a sight it was. The whole place was just so picturesque, save for a mild drizzle that really got in the way of us enjoying the night. Like a pair of vagabonds, we intended to sleep at the train station before catching it to go to the airport, but sadly, that apparently wasn’t allowed. I watched over My Beloved that night as she tried to sleep outdoors, and the weather wasn’t really cooperating with us. Not really the perfect way to kickstart her birthday.
And, oh. One of the first things that greeted me in Sydney was a near-rumble that happened right in front of us just outside a Hungry Jack’s (aka Burger King). Apparently, a security guard wasn’t getting along too well with one of the employees from Jack’s, and they were getting in each other’s faces, shoving each other, and shouting obscenities. This guy who struck up a conversation with me inside the store, a British dude named Johnny, proceeded to drunkenly insert himself into the near-melee, and the fight quickly never began because it was going to be a 2-on-1 involving the Jack’s employee and Johnny on one side, and the scrawny security guard on the other. After that, Johnny and his female companion turned to us, and sarcastically exclaimed, “Welcome to Sydney!”
Soon as we got to Melbourne, it definitely felt different. For starters, while I was walking around Sydney, I probably saw a whole lot more ethnic Asians than Australians. If I would hazard a guess, I’d say it was 70-30, even. That ratio flipped around when we got to Melbourne. No value judgments there: just a pure observation which I found pretty fascinating.
Maybe Beloved tainted my opinion here, but I found Melbourne to be a much nicer city than Sydney, although I wouldn’t really say Sydney was bad or “the gates of hell,” either. The people were surprisingly friendly, and would actually say hi to you just by virtue of running into you. I think back to how surly we Filipinos have become, and begin to wonder if we reserve our much-vaunted hospitality only for foreign guests, and if the people in Melbourne actually did the same, albeit it seemed to me they were indiscriminately friendly to obvious tourists and locals alike.
Just one of the many sights in Melbourne. No, not the lady on the right side. The church!
We took the city bus tour of Melbourne, and I got myself acquainted with a few of the sights and sounds of the place. June 2 was already Beloved’s birthday, and I must admit, it was a bit embarrassing that she should have to celebrate her birthday sleeping on a bench in Sydney under the rain. I should have made the call to go to the airport instead, had I known that the trains would kick us out at half past midnight. How was I to know? While taking that very train en route to the harbour, I saw a bunch of people sleeping at the station!
The city tour was fine, and we even had a nice meal at this really good Malaysian place. I’m a sucker for crispy noodles. We went around some more, and even took a quick look at the Queen Victoria Market, where they had just a staggering amount of stalls selling all sorts of things. I would have been impressed if Greenhills didn’t exist. Heh.
Proof that I suck as a photographer. "Een Victoria," indeed.
We saw a couple of beautiful churches, and even met one of Beloved’s friends under the clock in Central. That clock was pretty cool. From there, we headed to Planetshakers Church, and enjoyed ourselves in there. It didn’t take too long before we started moving around and figuring out where the Ritz for Backpackers was, as that was where we were going to stay the next two nights. It didn’t take us long, and we finally got there.
The Ritz is definitely one of the best backpacker places you could ever pick, since they had communal wifi, clean rooms, and a distinct lack of chalk body outlines on the floors. Of course, you weren’t going to expect royal treatment, but for about $30 a night, what were you exactly going to expect, right?
The next day was punctuated by a walking tour around the St. Kilda beach area, since I promised to swing by the Nuffnang Australia office for a while just to talk to Kruppy and the rest of his team. Sadly, we came in just ten minutes before they had an important meeting, so the visit became rather brief, but we made up for that by finding the time to go around the Acland and Chapel shopping districts, where Beloved felt like a kid let loose in a candy shop. Our highlight of the night was a lovely dinner in Ciccionila, which was heartily recommended by the Nuffnang Australia team. I’m glad I listened to them.
Forgot to have a picture taken with them! Darn.
Ciccionila was really awesome! From there, we had a nightcap of cake in the Acland Cake Store, and then made our way back to the Ritz, where they were having movie night. Before I went back up to tuck in, I saw that they went from Taken 2 to The Green Hornet. Interesting choice of films, if I do say so myself.
Very awesome, indeed.
After all that, we then took a plane in the morning to go back to Sydney, where we met a pair of Rowena’s friends, Coleen and her husband. They were the ones who looked over the stuff we left from our trip to Melbourne, and it was funny how they referred to me as the “ex ex,” and they were nudging Beloved in my direction.
Nice, but not terribly effective (sigh).
After a good lunch in a Thai restaurant, we then headed off to the train, all the way from Sydney to Lithgow, and from there, we were going to take a bus all the way to Orange, New South Wales, where Beloved was staying. It was mostly an uneventful bus ride, except for that time we ran over a kangaroo, and the kid up front sounded so traumatized about it.
From there, we went to the car My Beloved left outside the train station in Orange, and we were horrified to discover that it was forced open and completely stripped clean of any valuables. To make matters worse, this was a car loaned to Beloved by one of her closest friends in Australia, and it was *his* stuff that was stolen. Had it only been clothes or similar valuables, it would have been fine, but it appears that even some of his documents were taken, too.
The drive back home was agonizing, and we had to view the aftermath of the crime. Beloved was beside herself in guilt, and obviously, her friend was upset, but doing his best not to lose his cool. It was a disaster, and knowing that she took that car to the station because she was going to go get me from the Sydney Airport, a part of me felt responsible for the whole sordid affair. And remind me to tell you how much I hate this “friend” of hers, too, by the way. He is *married*, after all…
To top it all off, if I thought Sydney or Melbourne were cold? Dammit, Orange is much colder! I’m surprised my fingers are still actually moving and typing as I sit here in front of the computer. I mean, despite never having experienced snow, I’ve been used to cold weather thanks to annual trips to Baguio in the past, where the weather can hit 10 degrees Centigrade, but our first night in Orange was probably 6 degrees, and it just got progressively worse.
The next few days would prove to be an adventure in domestication for me. I helped fix things around the house, wash her clothes, do the dishes, cook a bit, do the groceries with her, and our time for bonding has been mostly spent watching episodes of Elementary before we went to sleep. It’s ridiculously cold in Orange, so the blankets we sleep in are something fierce. She enjoyed her present, by the way. At least, the one involving Sam YG, not the Ascension set. It’s too bad I didn’t get Xian’s message, though. That would have really been perfect.
I’m especially proud of the fact that my steaks have been very well-received, even the kangaroo steak that I didn’t have the foggiest idea about. We functioned as a pretty good team, really, and it was a taste of what might have been for My Beloved and I. If I do say so myself, we looked natural together. She saw it. Everyone around us saw it.
We had some very fun (mis)adventures throughout our time in Orange. I especially enjoyed the trip we made to the gelatto factory, and was amused by the fact that I never once saw a live kangaroo, despite all the signs warning us about their presence. Such a disappointment! LOL.
For the next couple of weeks, we pretty much had a routine down pat: she would get up and go to work, I would fix up in the house, maybe go online in the city center, then she would get off work, we’d go to Kmart or Coles or The Reject Shop for stuff she needs, go back, cook dinner, and watch a few episodes of Elementary before we would fall asleep. Speaking of our routine...
Most. Appropriate. Shop. Name. Ever.
It was domestic bliss, and it couldn’t have been any better until the last few nights, where a turning point just happened by Friday.
This came to a head when on Saturday, while driving to Seattle since I was flying back to Manila the next day, Beloved’s car broke down, and I had to run around like a headless chicken as I tried to find a coolant for her car. I had to make do with water, but she couldn’t have been more grateful that day if she tried. It was, to her, the moment where she appreciated me the most, and I couldn’t help but feel loved and valued from that point on, until I left. That afterglow of appreciation lasted all of a few days.
Anyways. It’s been a very nice but ultimately fleeting picture of how spending my life with My Beloved could very well have been. Sadly, despite everything we’ve been through in the last couple of weeks, I still am not anywhere near her ideal, especially since she’s already been with her ideal in the past – had he not been a cheating, lying douchebag. Unfortunately for me, with that distinct lack of loyalty came the skillset needed to woo multiple women at the same time: to put it bluntly, he was an Alpha Male who could do the household chores, while I may be a Gamma already, and not just a Beta.
Y’know, I always thought I’d be much more broken up about this than I would as I write this right now, but I guess my defense mechanisms kicked in earlier on in this trip already. I made sure that as soon as I went back to Manila, she wouldn’t fear that I would hate her or refuse to have anything to do with her. It’s nothing that dramatic. For better or worse, we’ve made ourselves invariably a part of each other’s lives now. It’s just tragic that we don’t see eye to eye as to exactly what our roles in each other’s life ought to be.
She was gorgeous. She was wonderful. She was damned near perfect. And in case all this writing hasn’t indicated it yet, for those two weeks, Manila was not home to me at all: she was.
She was there to help me see that there is life after all this, with or without her. How soon I could start that life, though, I sadly have no idea. I guess to a large extent, she's living proof that sometimes, love just ain't enough.
But I love her. And I love her more than I ever have, longer than I ever have, and better than I ever have before.
Lately, I do feel like I'm getting cold feet about going to Australia. I've been feeling so bruised and battered over the circumstances, and it's been taking its toll on me, in all honesty. I gave so much of myself all this time, so you could just imagine how difficult it really is for me to just go on with my day and ignore the cloud looming over my head.
Had another argument and I almost had to cancel my ticket altogether.
I am so drained. I am so tired. I talked to Christine and Jonsi as they were in town earlier this week, and it was a pleasant surprise hearing from them, but there's no question that I was really feeling the crunch of the trip. It feels like a fool's errand. No... it's not just a feeling. I all but know that I'm going there to have my heart broken.
.:Sa Libu-Libong Pagkakataon Na Tayo'y Nagkasama...:.
Currently have this song on repeat as I fill my head with thoughts of her, as she leaves me on a jetplane for a long, long while.
The things I found out in the time she was here, the things I learned, sent me to a point of anger I never thought I'd reach. Some people just really don't know what they have and choose to squander someone's love, someone's devotion, like some cheap toy they could easily get from anywhere.
She deserved better than that. And she did nothing to ever deserve the kind of hurt and betrayal that came her way after me.
So to you who hurt her, to you who never knew how wonderful a woman she was, and how she meant the world to me, only for you to treat her like dirt, I hope you suffer dearly for that. I hope I never see even just your shadow because you will rue the day that happens.
All I ever wanted was her happiness. Even if it meant somebody else. But you? You ruined that for her. You almost shattered her wide-eyed innocence and her trust in the goodness of the world as you played her for a fool.
And you have the temerity to act like it was nothing, you son of a bitch? This was all a game to you?!? I've never seen anything more deplorable, and quite frankly, I am sickened to the bone by people like you.
I despise you. I despise you with every bone in my body. But for as long as I am here, I will turn all that hatred into good. I will be there for her. I will show her that there is such a thing as true, steadfast love. Because she deserves it. Which is far more than can be said of you, and far more than anything you could ever be capable of giving in your miserable excuse of a life.
.:A Season Of Grace...:.
Now, now. It'd be a good idea to leave the puns at home over this one, though.
It's been a great week so far, even if it's been a tad stressful. Spent yesterday at the Rowdy Empire with King DJ Logan and Dani, and that was pretty interesting, and it sure made me feel very, very happy to still be in radio in some shape or form.
Pictured: JJ Abrams on radio?
Overall, it was a pretty cool show, even if we had to make a lot of adjustments on the fly. It was a fun time for everyone involved, and I must say, the sooner I can do this more often, the happier I would be, definitely.
Tried not to tackle the downer issue about Carlos Celdran getting sentenced to jail time, as I felt that it didn't really suit the matter. We instead went and discussed how amazingly observant the PNP were when they pointed out that in their expert opinion, security lapses led to the Megamall robbery last Saturday. No, really? That's news to us!
With the explosion in the Fort today (That's like the second one since Judd and I caught one a few years back!) and the other shooting incident in Robinson's Magnolia, it seems there have been a spate of public disturbances lately that might be cause for panic for the fidgety among us.
.:The Thankless Job Of Judging:.
Las week, I actually went and judged a cosplay competition for a certain school, and sourgraping hit myself and my co-judges when the cosplayers didn't agree with our results, essentially saying behind our backs that we "had no idea how to judge."
The funny thing? 35% of the criteria indeed went to costumes, but just as weighty was the 35% to stage performance. The thing is, none of the cosplayers saw each other perform because they were all behind the stage waiting for their turn, so unless they have X-Ray vision, they were in no position to make these claims, either.
Oh, well.
.:Wakeboarding!:.
Also last weekend, I finally went wakeboarding again after a year, and given that My Beloved and I are going to be doing it with some regularity now, you can rest assured I'm going to get the hang of it - even if I did do kneeboarding this time out.
Elegant form as I stumble while not even in the water.
Well, what can I say? With Angel going with us to Deca in Clark last Sunday, I was simply amazed at how accessible wakeboarding has ended up being for us thanks to this new venue. I bet my friends from Japan, Australia, and Taiwan would be so proud to see me finally work towards a goal I set for myself a year ago, and yes, I'm gonna be back in Clark sometime next week!
It's great in Deca Clark, and if you really want to give wakeboarding a try but have no desire to go to CamSur yet, then you should go and give this place a shot!
She is perfect.
The most important thing to note, by the way, is just today, she got the job in Australia that she wanted. I am so proud of My Beloved!!!
You know I am.
.:The 10th Kanto:.
I've been opening for the great Mike Unson for the past couple of years, so it's awesome to be a part of his 10th year anniversary show on February 9. You get to catch awesome performances all around that night, and it would really be awesome and mean so much to me if you guys could come and watch us in Gweilo's on that night.
Mike is, in my book, the premiere standup comic of the Philippines. I have nothing but good things to say about the man, and to see him still standing and an undisputed success after ten years of this is something I am honored to be a part of.
It’s been weeks, and I haven’t realized how delinquent I’ve
been with my blogging. It hasn’t been easy, really. Balancing writing for The 8List, dropping in on WAVE, where the one
and only King DJ Logan now finds himself, and a host of other things, but most
important of them all, finding time to spend with My Beloved, whether I be
reading The Kite Runner to her ‘til she falls asleep, or just doing a drive-by
hug for all of five minutes.
It’s been difficult, and it has made me reconsider if it’s
time to finally call it a day with my blog. It’s not like I’m setting the world
on fire with my blogging anyways, and unsurprisingly, I’m too busy living my
life to spend an inordinate amount of time writing about it. By now, I’d have
written about, say, coral reefs, or Ricky Lo’s interview, or Les Miserables
itself, or even the fact that a year from now, we’re likely sending a Filipino
to space, courtesy of Axe. Or the funny coincidences involving my old friend,
Christine.
And yes, given that the office sponsored Les Mis for all of us and we all pretty much got to watch the same movie, it almost seemed like a sure bet that I was going to a barricaded office the next day, with my co-workers singing "Do You Hear The People Sing" while setting up the barricade. Alack and alas, this did not come to pass.
Yes! This means I should've taken pictures with my co-workers last night! I was so negligent, and I apologize for that.
Despite all that, despite the see saw of life getting the
best of me sometimes, I am happy. Immeasurably so. And that is enough to go by
for now. Blogging will follow. There’s always Twitter and Facebook to put my
thoughts in for now, I guess?
And yes, I’m enjoying the little gadgets I’ve purchased over
the past couple of months. They have definitely served me well. Heh.
1. What did you do in 2012 that you'd never done before?
I hit the gym and took up boxing, went wakeboarding, got into improv comedy, wrote for the 8List, and loved like I never have before.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn't lose two pounds a month, but from September onwards, I did learn to eat healthier and lost quite a bit of weight that way. For 2013, I resolve to make My Beloved happier than she has ever been.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Kathy Chua!
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Close to me? Not so close, but Butch Maniego passed away, and that stunned me. My grandmother passed away early this year, so that kind of felt almost like 2012.
5. What countries did you visit?
Just Hong Kong.
6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?
Love. I think it's time.
7. What date from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
October 31, 2012. The day I met My Beloved again. November 01, the day after, comes a pretty close second.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Going crazy viral!
9. What was your biggest failure?
Not being good enough to take the pain away and a horrible mishandling of situations that led to me losing two friends I wish I were still good friends with now.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing major, to my recollection, although this heel spur I had has been nagging me for almost a year already.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
A PS Vita and a 32-inch TV for my Makati place? Also, a 1-TB hard drive I gave as a present.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My Beloved, because she reached out to me after years. Agnes, because she put up with me despite my worst times this year. Kim Chua, because she was very supportive as a friend.
13. Whose behavior appalled you and made you depressed?
The one who took a shot at me while I was down, the one who reminds me of someone that I know, and the one who I looked up to but refused to let me rectify our issues. Also, the asshole who hurt My Beloved.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Gadgets and food, by far.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Seeing My Beloved again. Unfortunately, the feeling wasn't mutual as she likes me more over the phone. LOL.
16. What song will always remind you of 2012?
"Gangnam Style" - PSY, "I Won't Give Up" - Jason Mraz, "Call Me Maybe" - Carly Rae Jepsen, "Somebody That I Used To Know" - Gotye, and "Endlessly" - The Cab
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? – happier ii. thinner or fatter? – thinner iii. richer or poorer? – neither
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Paid shows! (Still!) Also, improv jams, socializing, and finding ways to make My Beloved happy.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Pointless dating! (Still!)
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
It was pretty quiet.
21. Did you fall in love in 2012?
Except for one possible exception, not with anyone I didn't already love before. I sure fell in like quite a lot.
22. How many one-night stands?
Straight-edge, remember?
23. What was your favorite TV program?
WWE Raw and Smackdown, Nikita, and Big Bang Theory, even if I don't really watch TV.
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I don't think I hate anyone at this point, so much as I feel regrets over them for various reasons.
25. What was the best book you read?
Wow. I don't think I actually really read a complete book this year. That's terrible.
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Gotye, PSY, and yes, Carly Rae Jepsen.
27. What did you want and not get?
One more chance. (Still!)
28. Favorite film of this year?
Avengers, maybe? I honestly am pretty ambivalent about the movies this year, although I liked Rock Of Ages a lot, if I remember it correctly...
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 29 on a weekend, so I managed to keep it mostly quiet.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
One more chance. But hey, maybe 2013?
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?
Not cutting it with My Beloved.
32. What kept you sane?
Cracked.com and My Beloved.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Jinri Park, still? LOL.
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
The RH Bill, especially when it finally got signed.
35. Who did you miss?
My Beloved (Still!), and the friends I lost for various reasons.
36. Who was the best new person you met?
I might have to say Erika, my officemate, since she was a movie buddy for a while, and she's arguably the only new person I met whom I still get along with up to now. Otherwise, it would've been W, really.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012.
