Tulungan Bago Turuan

.:Tulungan Bago Turuan:.

As usual, we will always have insensitive people who would rather make douchenozzles of themselves than help their countrymen in their time of need.

Alt text is your friend.

As usual, we will always have grandstanding politicians, exploitative businessmen, and opportunistic assholes who will use this tragedy for their own personal gain.

If you find any of these poor creatures after the flood, please call 9315001 local 7444. That's the number of the House Of Representatives. Thank you!

As usual, we will always have superstitious idiots who will attribute an Inter Tropical Convergence Zone to a vindictive, petty God. Why are we worshipping a God like that again? I could've sworn the God worthy of worship is kind, merciful, and loving.

So to make us save unborn babies, God will kill some people? That'd show us the value of life!

As usual, we will encounter people who will take us for granted and then break your heart into a million pieces. After emasculating you completely, they will then proceed to ask you to stay "friends."

What. A. Dick.

But that simply shouldn't be our takeaway from Tropical Storm Haikui in the first place.

For every asshole you will encounter today, reminding you that humans aren't all that, you will encounter ten, maybe more people who are more than willing to help in our time of need. Selflessly. Bravely. And yes, wisely. These people remind us how great humanity can be, and how all the insensitivity in the world cannot erase the fact that when push comes to shove, we will help each other.

If a man were drowning, will you ask him what his stand on the RH Bill is before you saved him? No? Then clearly, that shit doesn't matter right now.

Yeah, we get sidetracked. We get annoyed. But dammit, we need to remind ourselves that there's a lot of things we have to do as a people. As a nation. When you have guys like Metta World Peace, of all people, helping us out, that's got to count for something.

Also, I'd like to extend my gratitude to this guy, especially:

See? Mankind cares about the Philippines!

This is, yet again, a climate of heroes. From the people in government helping out, to the average person, to the police, the netizens, even the people who have been working really hard to make sure our communication lines and electricity stay up despite the weather. Tulungan na lang muna tayo. Saka na ang turuan. We still have so much to do, guys.

And again, HERE IS HOW WE COULD ALL HELP.

Do check Pinas 911 as well for a one-stop reference to the relevant hashtags as the Philippines is hit by this monsoon.

Lastly, on a personal note, and as an attempt at levity, if you have anything to say about Tropical Storm Haikui over Twitter, try saying it in haiku format, using the #HaikuForHaikui hashtag. A mere 17 syllables could mean a lot when coupled with the help we will give our countrymen.

I'm called Haikui
I was so unexpected
Heroes will rise

- Marcelle Fabie, 2012

Wow, Another Randomicity Post, After Ages!

.:Focusing On What Comes Next:.

I wasn't jobless for very long, and am starting work again on Monday.

I know, I've been a bit delinquent with the blogging lately, but can you blame me? I've been preparing for my next job, and I must say, it's gonna be a blast.

There's just so much to do and so much to get prepared for. I'm pretty stoked.

.:Brock Lesnar Needs To See A Doctor...:.

I don't know about you, but Brock Lesnar's return to the WWE is something I was pretty excited about. It's just that... I don't think he's ready to go yet, unless he has himself checked out with a doctor soon...

That's pretty severe, Brock.

I know a lot of people feel that he's just doing this for the paycheck and he has no love for the business. Far as I'm concerned, so long as he's a true professional while he's at it, it doesn't matter what his motivations for going back to the WWE are. Not everyone needs to be some guy bleeding heart and soul for the wrestling business, and with Brock, what you see is what you get. You either like him or hate him, and he's not out to change anyone's opinions on that.

.:Still On An Avengers High:.

Despite the fact that it felt like such a whimper of a last day at Nuffnang (For my well-being, I will just gloss over the multiple instances I felt very unappreciated and worse that night.), there is no question that The Avengers was, without a doubt, an amazing film, from top to bottom.

While I would normally want to write a film review about it, I think I can put doing that off until I watch it a second time first.

For now, let me just say that this is an action film that hits all the right notes properly: excellent pacing (The Dark Knight had issues with this.), characterization, plot, and thematic consistency. For an ensemble cast, everyone involved had ample crowning moments of awesome, and character arcs. Even the normals like Black Widow, Hawkeye, and Captain America were given opportunities to prove how badass they happen to be, not just physically, but in Black Widow's case, even cerebrally.

Also, this interview on Russian TV just needs to be shared:

I want to just keep watching this movie again and again. It was brilliant, funny, and quite an experience.

Also, Agent Coulson being just the best at what he does in this bonus scene from the Captain America Blu-Ray:

Project 52 (51/52): The Cult Of Personality - Living Colour

.:Project 52 (51/52): The Cult Of Personality - Living Colour:.

Yeah, it's CM Punk's entrance theme. We get it.

How many rock bands do any of us know fronted by black guys? Not too many, I can tell you, so catching an awesome group like Living Colour performing a song like this is a refreshing change of pace.

And yeah, I can't deny that a lot of the newfound attention upon the song is because it's CM Punk's entrance music at the moment. As a Straight Edge guy just like CM Punk, I am a pretty big fan of his, and the song is just so catchy that you can't help but really appreciate it. In fact, whenever I'm about to do something epic, my head is playing this song as my pseudo entrance music that only I can hear, because hey, the message and the melody of the song is just that good.

This is also the only reason why I ever bothered playing Guitar Heroes in Timezone, by the by.

Anyways, yeah, if ever I need entrance music, this will be it, since I have no desire to have "Real American" playing over the P.A. when I walk into anything. At all.

Profiling The Patriotic Filipino®

.:The Parallels Between A Patriotic Filipino® And An IWC Smark:.

For about a couple of years, I've been writing as an over-the-top character that I obviously patterned after Stephen Colbert. It was much easier to write articles when it was still PGMA's term, because it takes a special kind of idiot to think that any of my articles at the time were seriously singing her praises.

It boggles the mind how this graph was taken seriously.

All the while, I kept making reference to the Patriotic Filipino®, a concept I obviously coined from the more accomplished satirist, Chip Tsao. Often, I've been asked by those who read my attempts at satire exactly what it means to be a Patriotic Filipino, and I haven't really put much thought into that until recently.

One thing I realized is that at its core, the Patriotic Filipino mindset is mired in hypocrisy, but not just any kind of hypocrisy: a self-loathing kind of hypocrisy. The Patriotic Filipino will decry any slight against Filipino pride, but when they're the ones doing the bashing, they quickly place themselves above these pitfalls of the common Filipino. It's both intellectual elitism and boorishness coming together, both blind patriotism and colonial mentality joining forces. Broken down simply, it means we're all prone to it at some point or another, whether it's because we want to migrate from this home we call a hellhole, or because we remember we're Filipino only when Manny Pacquiao has a fight.

Now, I've been a longtime follower of pro wrestling on the internet, and it made me realize that there are a lot of stark similarities between the Patriotic Filipino and the internet smark, especially when it comes to the self-loathing nature of both. While the Patriotic Filipino resents being Filipino to the point of lashing out violently against anyone who reminds them about this, the internet smark resents pro wrestling so much, yet keeps on watching it every single week, anyways.

For the internet smark, John Cena represents everything wrong about pro wrestling today. Here was a man who got into body building, then ended up doing pro wrestling. He's popular with the kids and the women of the WWE Universe, but is booed mercilessly by most of the adult males. He came through the OVW farm league of the company, didn't start out in a whole bunch of indie feds before going to the big leagues, and has held the championship belt for a significant amount of time during his tenure. He rarely loses cleanly, even during handicap matches. He has his infamous five moves of doom, limited abilities, squeaky-clean persona, and panders to the fans. He's a company man, and the internet smark hates John Cena for that.

Shallow. Man, why is the WWE marketing to kids? That would never work!!!

Compare that to a man who hailed from Stu Hart's infamous Dungeon wrestling school. A man who knew from the get-go that wrestling was the career he wanted to be in. A man who has wrestled in Canada, Mexico, Japan, ECW, WCW, before finally heading to the WWE. A man whose crisp execution and technical skill made every internet smark wet themselves in delight. His gimmick was that he needed no gimmick, and he got over solely by his in-ring skill, finally earning the WWE title after 19 long years in the business. It's absolutely unquestionable that a man like that would be every internet smark's darling, right?

Unfortunately, that man was Chris Benoit.

Deep! That hand sign has a hidden meaning, you know...

Chris Benoit was so accomplished a wrestler that internet smarks who worshiped the ground he walked on made excuses for him and tried to look the other way after what he did. People were quick to dismiss his actions whether as the fault of multiple concussions he had suffered throughout his career, or outright insane conspiracy theories involving some massive coverup, or the more benign approach of separating the man outside the ring from the man in the ring.

In every single instance, they tried to soften the blow of Benoit's actions, which, I suppose, is being mighty charitable to the man, but come on! The way they try to divorce this ugly mess from the rest of Benoit's life just so they could continue heaping praise on him is hypocritical in the face of how they have been integrating everything they hated about John Cena just so they could insult every single aspect of his being.

How many of us IWC people even know John Cena personally? Yet so many of us claim he's a douchebag, so many of us profess to know what kind of a monster he is, some of us even associate our own homophobic failings against him all because we think he's not God's gift to pro wrestling. It's a sickening double-standard brought about by blind hate, and how cool it seems to be to boo the popular guy just so you could go against the grain.

I'm pretty certain other aspects of the world fare similarly, if Justin Bieber's rabid hater base is to be believed. Nonetheless, considering the similarities between Patriotic Filipinos and the IWC, it behooves us to learn the lesson from their folly, to be honest. Especially notable would be how the IWC gravitates towards remembering the Attitude era with so much fondness, yet having also been there during the Attitude era, these were the exact same people who wanted The Rock and Steve Austin to go away, yet are now clamoring that they come back. The Patriotic Filipinos did the exact same thing when they begged and pleaded in 2004 for FPJ to lose to GMA in the elections, and the minute they got their exact wish, they begged and pleaded for GMA to go away. They also prayed for Noynoy to run when his mother died, and now that he's our president, they're praying for Noynoy to go away.

We never are content with the status quo, are we? Well, that's not necessarily a bad thing, especially if it means we remain aware that there is always room for improvement.

One can hope that the Patriotic Filipinos, who wish to love this nation but for any of a myriad factors has a really funny, sometimes unfortunate way of showing it, would figure out for themselves that self-loathing gets us nowhere. Self-criticism, when approached in a constructive manner, would yield us so much more good, and the IWC would be so much better if people recognized this more. The less we complain about how low-brow Jersey Shore is and it has no room guesting in our wrestling programs, the sooner we would realize that pro wrestling isn't exactly the opera, either.

In any case, enough about the IWC at this point. Ultimately, while we have no control how we may feel about the depth or shallowness of the Filipino, or how we feel about people who malign us as a people, whether he be a foreigner or a countryman, what we do have control over is how we publicly react to it. We could trade barbs with them, but if we do not stifle dialogue along the way and prove to everyone why the Filipino people is still worth having faith in, no matter what our pitfalls may be, then yes, there will be less satirical Patriotic Filipinos running around this nation.

That, that is something to aspire for in our own ways: we do this nation proud both as individuals and as a collective.

A Patriotic Filipino's Response To The Blood Traitor, National Artist F. Sionil Jose... Or Is It?

.:A Patriotic Filipino's Response To The Blood Traitor, National Artist F. Sionil Jose... Or Is It?:.

Nation, as a Patriotic Filipino®, fewer things would make yours truly's blood boil than a racist who mindlessly bashes our nation's dignity, and it amuses yours truly to no end when the Schadenfreude erupts and they are treated to as much racism as they have just dished out, because that's how we Patriotic Filipinos roll.

If there are two things we Patriotic Filipinos hate, it would be racism, and the Chinese. Our hopes to finally rightfully lay claim to the Spratly Islands were rekindled anew just this week when Ms. Philippines beat Ms. China in the Ms. Universe pageant. If more territorial disputes were settled this way, we'd be a much powerful nation, albeit Venezuela would become the biggest superpower in the world.

Still, as terrible as racism is, blood traitors are just the worst. As in the absolute worst. Is it not bad enough, dear nation, that other races malign the Filipino spirit? Why must we chip in ourselves to this cesspool of uselessness?

That is why there is such an uproar over F. Sionil Jose recently, in light of the statements he has made, calling us, and by extension, himself, shallow. "The nerve of this person to criticize us," you say. Who does this guy think he is? Some National Artist? Oh, wait.

What you need to realize is that F. Sionil Jose is himself a Patriotic Filipino. That makes all the difference in the world and renders him immune from disagreement. Why? Why ask why? After all, when one sees the ills of the Filipino nation yet is himself acting all above it, then he must be one of us, all the same.

It also helps that he made sure to criticize Mideo Cruz's pathetic excuse for art, because the CBCP certainly appreciated the unlikely assist. Truly, he is an indisputable authority on what is and isn't art, and what is deep or what is shallow. If you wish to challenge his unquestionable authority, feel free to place your National Artist citation on the table before engaging the man.

Somewhere, Carlo J. Caparas is grumbling out loud.

When faced with the almighty depth of a National Artist, all of us fall short and are mired in shallowness. What we think is deep is nothing compared to the depth of a National Artist's thinking: an honor that distinguishes him from the hoi poloi of shallowness that is the other Filipinos, bestowed upon him by, well, the other Filipinos. When he compared the tepid reaction of Filipinos to a Japanese cultural dance to the wild reception the Filipino tinikling dance got, surely, fans of the WWE were reminded of the huge difference between those shallow spot monkeys who do nothing but flips...

Shallow. Bet this guy won't ever win any championships.

... and the refined performers who are known for their deep, involving, technical maneuvers.

Deep! Bet this guy is main eventing everywhere by now.

Indeed, the tepid reaction this Japanese folk dance got is the kind of reaction that no real fan of culture would ever give, even if it's probably the first time they ever saw something. Surely, the first time Elvis Presley hit the stage on his first ever gig in some run-down bar, every Tom, Dick, and Harry fell to their feet to worship his greatness because everyone recognizes talent in an instant. Indeed, having a folk dance that we have owned and cultivated since pre-colonial times pales in comparison to appreciating a folk dance of another nation that we have obviously only ever seen for the first time.

This is the shallowness of popular culture, as it were, nation, and it afflicts us Filipinos and only us (Non-Patriotic) Filipinos. Clearly, we have a monopoly on this shallowness, because as the previous example has shown us, Japan is obviously immune to these criticisms. The sublime genius of the Japanese has led to such cultural watersheds like Evangelion, Hachiko, Grave Of The Fireflies, and La Blue Girl, after all.

Deep.

Meanwhile, our concept of entertainment is utterly shallow, because how dare we compare the shallowness that is Kris Aquino to the depth that is Ryan Seacrest? Indeed, being deep or being shallow is an ever-fixed state of mind and affairs, and not at all a particular moment in one's complex humanity. The shallow moments you indulge in define you as shallow altogether, even if you work nine hours a day to put food on the plate for a family of four. That's just how it is.

Surely, the Japanese who read manga in the trains while groping schoolgirls at the same time (Multi-tasking is a sign of depth.) are far deeper than the Filipinos who don't even have elbow room to do any reading whatsoever. Surely, the Koreans glued to their iPhones, finding out the latest news about Jun Ji-Hyun and whoever she's dating, are getting deeper and deeper by the minute.

Deep.

Turn to America, and we find nothing but top-notch TV programming. While Filipino television is nothing but a morass of love triangles involving the Amboy cutie, the rich mestiza girlfriend, and the maid, America is churning out instant classics.

Deep.

Surely, this isn't just a case of rose-tinted glasses, or a sorrily mistaken assumption that the grass is greener on the other side, and that everyone else is deeper than the average, non-Patriotic Filipino. Certainly, we aren't taking the best-case examples of other nations, then comparing it to the worst-case examples from our own nation, are we?

Are we?

Nation, there is no denying the shallowness that permeates every fiber of this country. It's the very kind of shallowness that stems from our very language, and the only reason anybody disagreed with James Soriano was because he has yet to win a Palanca.

Indeed, we are a shallow people because of consumerism and crass commercialism, every inch of it engulfing the Filipino psyche. Surely, Hollywood, Bollywood, Shinjuku, Milan, and any of these other far-off places in no way whatsoever perpetuate this kind of mindset for their own respective nations. To disagree with the unfortunate implications of F. Sionil Jose's article is taboo, simply because he's F. Sionil Jose, dammit. He gets a pass.

Just like this guy. Also, deep.

Nation, there is no question about our shallowness and the depths we go through just to revel in that shallowness. There is absolutely no disagreement that there is a need for depth. While some people believe that depth is not only relative but aspirational and universal, we shake our heads and say that depth, or rather, a lack of it, is endemic to Filipinos alone, as has been handily singled out in F. Sionil's article. Naysayers may disagree, but clearly, this dissent comes from a lack of perspective and depth. Also, a lack of Palanca Awards to their names.

For you to be an authority on what is deep, you yourself need to be unquestionably deep. Just like F. Sionil Jose. Obviously, a handful of Palanca's and a National Artist distinction has earned him the gravitas to be unquestionably deep.

Heaven forbid we consider  F. Sionil's contribution of his "literature" to a commercial clothing brand, the very same kind of commercialism he rails against in his essay, to be anything other than lending depth to this brand. Just the touch of class that Freeway needed, of course! It's not selling out at all, no no no. It's not at all a quiet albeit begrudging acceptance that commercialism, like proneness to criticism, encompasses everyone, no exceptions whatsoever. Not in a million, billion years.

But really: is there a way out of this bubbling muck of shallowness the Filipino finds himself in? Do you wish to hear from the Master how to do it? Do you wish to know the truth? Well, you can't handle the truth!

Nation, we live in a world with depth, and these depths need to be guarded by men with pens. Who's gonna do it? You? You, without a single Palanca to your name? F. Sionil Jose has a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom.

You weep for the shallowness of this nation and curse the Patriotic Filipinos who incessantly point this out. You have that luxury. You have that luxury of not knowing what we know: that this condescension, while annoying, saves lives. and F. Sionil Jose's existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives.

You can't handle the truth, because deep down in places you don't talk about in parties, you want that depth. You need that depth. We use words like Palanca, National Artist, and hindsight. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent in comfort that affords us that privilege to have depth and know it for what it is. You use these words as a punchline.

F. Sionil Jose has neither the time nor the inclination to explain himself to an ungrateful nation that rises and sleeps under the blanket of depth that he provides, and then questions the manner in which he provides it. He would rather that you just said "thank you," and went on your way. Otherwise, we suggest you pick up a pen and earn yourself some Palanca's. Either way, we don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to.

His depth is the depth of a Yao Ming. Our shallowness is the shallowness of a Verne Troyer.

It's great to know that the very vanguards of this nation, we, the Patriotic Filipinos®, are also the very first to throw this nation under the bus at the drop of a bamboo pole. Because that's how we roll.

Marcelle Fabie (Pronounced "Fa-bee-yay".), who blogs on www.mistervader.com, is a man who embodies the two greatest characteristics of a Patriotic Filipino®: he is patriotic, and he is Filipino. As an upstanding individual of strong moral fibre, he puts the "grit" in "journalistic inteGRITy." Hard-hitting, fearless (except when it comes to Rick Astley), and unbelievably opinionated, he stands for truthiness, justice, and the Filipino way. He has a Pulitzer, a Nobel, an Oscar, a Grammy, and five other weirdly-named pet dogs.

Clearly, Alyssa Bereznak Had Vigilance...

.:... So Jon Finkel Never Tapped Her:.

A couple of days ago, I discovered an article that hit rather close to home, and despite having read the original version where Mr. Finkel was heavily implied but never named, I cringed at the disparaging nature of the article, and how it was clearly written with the intention to get a laugh at the expense of Jon.

See, it isn't really the fact that I play Magic: The Gathering as well that struck a nerve with me while reading this. Neither was it the fact that Jon Finkel was, for all intents and purposes, dumped by a girl for being too much of a dweeb. It was the mean-spirited aftermath of the whole thing that just sent a chill down my spine.

True, Alyssa is a person with issues. Then again, who isn't? While I dislike the misogyny that springs out from people who took Ms. Bereznak to task for what she did to Jon, I'd rather focus on the very predatory things she did to Jon instead and work from there.

While I'm not a world champion like Mr. Finkel, I certainly know how it feels like to have someone try to make a laughing stock out of you just because they can. Whether it be some very unflattering blog post about you that may or may not mention you by name (Obviously, Finkel wasn't lucky enough to get the latter treatment.), wasn't it enough already that you went out, it didn't work out, you take your respective mental notes, and you move on? I'm pretty sure there was no need to embellish the story when the more sensible course of action is to just, well, let sleeping dogs lie.

I've also had the displeasure of having someone supposedly special to me make it very clear that she thought my being a magician was kid's stuff and terribly immature. I especially found this amusing coming from someone who, at the time, didn't even have a job, while I was supporting myself, paying the rent, and putting myself through my Masters with my "kid's stuff." She was embarrassed of me and would avoid introducing me to her friends if she could help it, and yet, again, none of her friends were really making a living at the time. When someone's working and making a very good living entertaining kids, and another someone is still, for all intents and purposes, a dependent, and living off of an allowance, who's really being a kid, again?

And, oh, I still have a couple of shows this weekend, and what I would make in two hours of work, she would make in two months. Not too shabby for some "kid's stuff," huh?

But see, it isn't all about the money. That's nice and all, but it's not like my whole being is defined by the fact that I'm a magician or a mentalist. More importantly, beyond the money, it's about the fact that I enjoy what I do, and I certainly am not hurting anyone while I do it, nor, particularly in this case, did it ever steal away any time from my social life at the time. Considering that most of my shows were for corporate entities rather than children, I don't even see the whole "kid's stuff" part, for that matter.

Yes, I'm being bitter. But I'd like to think I'm making a point here.

Jon Finkel just won $3 million or so dollars from a world tournament for poker a year or so ago. The man is loaded, he is a managing partner in a hedge fund, he looks fit, and given his classy responses online, he's also witty, modest, and kind. Sure, maybe being a "dweeb" as it were can really be a dealbreaker for someone, and hey, it's not like Alyssa was obliged to really hook up with Jon after a couple of dates (Especially not after one that involved watching a play about a serial killer.). It's just that there was no need to be mean-spirited about it after the fact. You went out, it didn't work out, let bygones be bygones, and let sleeping dogs lie.

But noooooo. Some people just really can't do that, so to make themselves feel better, or to maybe just get some more hits on their little blog, they'll take their shots at you. Or make it a point to embarrass you in front of their friends. Or, I dunno, borrow money from you and then whine about someone else who owes them money while they haven't paid you in two years. Y'know, the normal stuff.

I guess I saw a little too much of myself in Jon Finkel's plight, although I wouldn't mind winning $3 million myself. That the feelings of contempt I feel right now are bubbling up like crazy despite my relative anonymity, only tells me about the kind of temperance and perspective Jon has in being able to respond to the outright slander against him in a very dignified and classy manner.

I guess the take-away here is not that Alyssa should totally have gotten with Jon. Clearly, they weren't going to work out, and it was good that they figured it out two dates in. While Alyssa thinks it's human nature to be shallow and judgmental, I think what really sets the decent human beings apart from the douchebags is their ability to express these shallow judgments as a matter of fact rather than as an opportunity to humiliate someone.

It's this kind of honesty not only to others but to one's self as well that is sorely missing in this world today. In all honesty, I've been feeling like crud the past few months, especially in the face of broken promises and blatant lies, but what keeps me going and what keeps me optimistic is the belief that no matter what my shortcomings are, I'm not afraid to own up to them and to make amends for them where fitting.

As I approach my birthday this month, I always end up being pensive, because every single year, all I really want is peace of mind and a chance to bury the hatchet. Every year, I try, and every year, it doesn't happen. If I could have just half the kind of temperance Jon Finkel has demonstrated these past few days, then I'd be pretty sure this would be a far better birthday than the last couple of years has been.

And it's a bit of a tangent, but speaking of being honest to one's self, earlier on Twitter, I made a rather scathing comment when I said: Matt Hardy claims to want to make the world a better place. If he actually killed himself like he threatened to, he would've accomplished that goal.

If you're looking for context, check out this article. Long story short, everyone thought he left a suicide note, people actually called 911, and then it turns out it was just him having a "Genesis" for himself. Never mind what his fans felt: it's all about him and his latest cry for attention.

My uncharacteristic meanness to him aside, I do believe it's time he came to terms with the fact that he needs help. Working people over suicide was not, in any way cool. It wasn't even a case of him contemplating it, and then having cold feet at the last moment: it was just him trying to get a rise from the internet yet again, and while people did fall for it hook, line, and sinker, was it really worth the price?

If he does end up killing himself next time, I honestly wouldn't even bat an eyelash anymore. He has just gotten to that point already with so many of his fans, and the worst part is, he just thinks we hate him or something. We don't. We just wish he'd get his act together before it's too late and we all exchange I told you so's.

The Alyssa's and the Matt's of this world are going to be all around us, preying on us and our general outlook and willingness to assume the best in people. Ultimately, it's also up to us to remind ourselves that these people aren't representative of us, nor should we allow them to be, because people like Alyssa Bereznak and Matt Hardy exist to remind us that we can do better even if on paper, they were given much more than we were. It isn't a case of saying "someone has it worse." It's a case of someone making it worse. For themselves. It's a trait we can identify in them, and if we can identify it in us, then we would be best served to get it out of our system.

Or maybe I'm just being bitter right now. Be that as it may, does it really invalidate my point?

The Macho Sacrifice

.:"Macho Man" Randy Savage: 1952-2011:.

Last night, the unthinkable happened, and the man everyone knew as the Macho Man, Randy Savage, passed away in a car accident. Considering how someone dear to me lost her dad because he succumbed to a heart attack while behind the wheel, the story certainly still leaves a chill in my spine.

Last night, I was in Sid's birthday party in Capone's when the news got to me. Needless to say, I was stunned for the rest of the time.

Out of all the wrestlers who have come and gone in the industry, few of them would ever stand out the way Randy Savage did, having been one of the "total package" performers the WWF has had the honor of having. He could get it done in the ring, he could get it done on the mic, and whether he had to be cheered or he had to be booed, he knew how to get the job done.

It's a testament to the kind of influence this man has over the world, considering how he's been out of the ring for an entire decade before he passed away on May 20. Very few people who were fans of wrestling would forget that he was involved with some of the most memorable moments of WWF and even WCW history. There was, without a doubt, a macho method to his macho madness, no matter how off the wall his rap album may have been.

In the end, the world is just a little emptier without him around, and as jocular as it may sound, if the world doesn't end this 6PM as the Rapture doomsayers insist it will, I'm giving Macho Man Randy Savage full credit for making the macho sacrifice necessary to save the world.

He will truly be missed.

At least, they have a valid excuse why the world didn't end.

Book Review: Undisputed, By Chris Jericho

.:Book Review: Undisputed, By Chris Jericho:.

The one and only copy I found so far! This is so froot!

Y’know, with all the books I’ve read lately, I feel a bit guilty that I’ve only ever bothered to review Chris Jericho’s books so far. Considering I’ve read the books by Bret Hart, Ric Flair, and Mick Foley (Yes, all of his wrestling-related books.), as well as two books about Jordan, and one about Bird and Magic, it’s a bit interesting that it’s only Chris Jericho’s stuff I’ve actually featured on my blog, aside from your standard best-sellers like Dan Brown and JK Rowling.

And no, I don’t feel an ounce of guilt that I’ve gone from reading Hardt and Negri to reading Hart and Foley. Not everything I spend time on has to be some kind of navel-gazing exercise into existential angsting or deconstruction or some haphazardly post-modernized Communist Manifesto.

Maybe I’ll correct that someday, but for now, I’m pretty happy just being able to actually do a book review for a change of pace, and this book is a doozy. Ever since Mick Foley’s “Have A Nice Day,” books by wrestlers have been a dime-a-dozen, most of them being ghostwritten after the wrestler spills his guts to a recorder, leaving himself at the mercy of his writer if his story would be treated in any way different from how he envisioned it to be.

It’s safe to say that Chris Jericho didn’t follow that trend, although there’s nothing bad about having Ric Flair’s story told through the lens of his ghost writer. Like Foley and Hart, Jericho’s books have a unique stamp of authenticity on them, and they have all been best-selling authors on top of all that. When Jericho wrote “A Lion’s Tale,” he himself predicted it would be the first of three books from the Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla, so there was a lot of anticipation for his sophomore writing effort.

It took me a while to get my hands of “Undisputed.” I was going to and from Fully Booked branches for about a month before a solitary copy finally dropped off, and I snapped it up right away. While a paperback version would’ve been cheaper, I wasn’t inclined to wait six or so months for a copy of a book that has had tongues wagging and people like Larry Zybysko and “Superstar” Billy Graham frothing at the mouth over the supposed disrespect Chris Jericho has given to them.

I also wanted to see Jericho’s actual thoughts on the unfortunate events behind the Chris Benoit incident, and his very candid opinions made me feel for him all the more. It was done in perfectly good taste, and it neither sensationalized nor glossed over Chris Benoit’s life and times. It was a friend who is, like everyone else, asking himself what went wrong.

This book covers the moment Chris Jericho first entered the WWE to the very beginning of his second stint with the company. His road stories and his manner of telling these stories are funny, upbeat, and irresistibly charming. The way he details backstage politics as it happened right in his face, you would feel every ounce of injustice that seemed to be hurled his way, or every shot in the arm he got as if you were being patted on the back yourself.

I don’t know which parts in this book I’d say were my favourites, but I had a very soft spot for any time he told a story that I know about because I watched the particular show in question, as well as his brushes with (other) celebrities, especially the one where Axl Rose, during better days, actually shot the breeze on a local radio station much less like a rock and roll icon and more like a true-blue rock and roll fan. I never liked metal music, but I admired Fozzy’s dedication to their character for their first two albums, no matter how difficult it was for them to be taken seriously because of it.

As a huge wrestling fan, I marked out every single time Jericho wrote about his interactions with the Rock, Austin, Foley, and Undertaker, but more so when I read about the one time he managed to take Goldberg down. I was especially impressed by his candor when he outright said his win against Goldberg was a fluke and a rematch would probably result in him getting ripped to pieces by the man. At no point did it seem like he was posturing, even during the times where he would talk himself up. It felt like the story of a man who believed in himself enough and knew himself well enough to know when to hype himself up and when to eke in a word of self-aware honesty. That’s very rare, and that’s very commendable. In fact, if you read the book yourself, the best word to describe Mr. Jericho would be "froot." He is froot personified.

I don’t think giving a review of Jericho’s book could do it the kind of justice of simply reading it. If you’re a fan of wrestling, or if you’re just a fan of an honest writer talking about his very interesting and semi-charmed kind of life, then “Undisputed” is an amazing read from cover to cover. I’d daresay it was even better than “A Lion’s Tale,” which is no mean feat, as I loved that book, too. Then again, I guess it’s because I’m honestly more interested in Jericho’s WWE career than most anything else he was doing prior to it, so even if overall, A Lion’s Tale would probably win a lot more fans over, I related to Undisputed much more by default.

It doesn’t really matter, anyways, because even if you think that Undisputed is merely half as good as A Lion’s Tale, that’d still be pretty high praise for Jericho’s writing, in my humble opinion.

Here’s to hoping that the third book would have a day-to-day look at how Chris Jericho eventually wins the Dancing With The Stars show he’s currently competing in. I’d almost bet on him making final three, at worst.

Buy this book if you even remotely like wrestling. I can assure you, it would be much better than "Adventures in Larryland."

Evaluation: A+

Marked For All Time...

.:Today's LSS...:.

The whole day, this song was stuck in my head. Can't get it out. Agghh.

One Last Cry
by Brian McKnight

My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf
I saw you holding hands, standing close to someone else
Now I sit all alone wishing all my feeling was gone
I gave my best to you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

Chorus:
One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I've gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I guess I'm down to my last cry

Cry......

I was here, you were there
Guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to rain on me
Still I sit all alone, wishing all my feeling was gone
Gotta get over you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

Chorus:
One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I've gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I know I gotta be strong
Cause round me life goes on and on and on
And on.....

I'm gonna dry my eyes
Right after I had my
One last cry

Chorus:
One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I've gotta put you outta my mind for the very last time
Been living a lie
I guess I'm down
I guess I'm down
I guess I'm down...
To my last cry...

.:Sometimes, We're As Good As Our Last Act...:.

People have a tendency to remember bad impressions and forget about good. If you don't believe me, think about the many times where all it takes to spoil a friendship is one mistake, no matter how many good turns you've handed out before it got to that point.

Because really, all it takes is one mistake. Doesn't matter how many times you make it on time. The one time you're late, they now think that you're *always* late. Doesn't matter how calm you are. The one time you lose your temper, you are labeled as a firebrand. Doesn't matter what you've done your entire life. Doesn't matter how hard you've worked to earn your keep, the integrity you've built up and established. Your one moment of being "out of character" becomes your defining moment, and believe me, it's one of the worst things you could ever experience, to be judged one way when you know in your heart you're the exact other way.

I guess I got to thinking about this when I realized thanks to WWE.com that up to now, the name "Chris Benoit" is taboo.

Never mind that he was one of the best entertainers of all time. Let's forget everything else he has done and judge his life by the tragic double-murder suicide that he perpetrated.

That whole mess certainly has left a bad taste in my mouth to this day, and I still am on the fence whether or not this is the right thing to do. Up to now, the WWE pretends Benoit never existed. Even on their Royal Rumble page, they purposely left out the 2004 recap, since Benoit won that particular event.

In the end, it's also a good time to ask ourselves... what kind of legacy have we been building? Are we going to squander it all away at the end of everything?

Think about it.

Book Review: A Lion's Tale

This book review is made possible by this network monitoring service. Never take it for granted.

.:Book Review: A Lion’s Tale - Around The World In Spandex:.

Chris Jericho’s gripping and entertainingly-written book “A Lion’s Tale” was a purchase I made because I was hankering for a good helping of a good wrestler biography. The fact of the matter is, when I looked in Fully Booked to see what was good to get, I realized that there wasn’t much left in the way of good wrestling books. You couldn’t find Eric Bischoff, or Mick Foley’s sequels, and there was a disgusting surplus of Batista’s book, which just made me retch.

I thought about getting a 5x5 Rubik’s cube for a while, but changed my mind when Charo let me try hers and I fumbled at it horribly. I think I’ll stick to the 3x3 cubes for now, then…

Having said that, reading Chris Jericho’s autobiography was a lot of fun. His humor style was exceedingly catchy, not to mention the fact that he had so many interesting stories, and a clearly sympathetic stance towards Chris Benoit in the book, highlighted by him saying that “the Chris Benoit I knew was not the one who killed his wife and kid before killing himself.”

To say that the book was a great read is an understatement. Chris Jericho is a phenomenal wrestler who has traveled from Mexico to Germany to Japan to the United States, hailed from the Hart Dungeon, and is the first-ever Undisputed Champion in the history of the WWE, having won both the WWE and WCW championships off of The Rock and Stonecold Steve Austin on the same night. Chris Jericho has pretty much done it all, and it’s all about the love for the business that he exudes whenever he talks about his odyssey into the WWE in what appears to be the first of a pair or trilogy of books about the storied life of Chris Jericho.

If you like wrestling, this is one of the must-read books in the burgeoning ranks of wrestler bio/autobiographies.

Evaluation: A

Barron Vangor Toth: 1973-2008

.:I'm Two Months Late...:.

... but I'll get on my soapbox and say it anyways.

Outside of Magic: The Gathering, the other CCG I played the most was WWE RAW Deal. Since I'm a huge wrestling fan, I think it makes all the sense in the world why I loved it. Barron was one of the two creators of the game, and unlike most other creators, they interact with the players a lot.

I was the second (official) Philippine Manager, and while I mainly dealt with Zhev, I always had an air of respect for Barron.

There were lots of bad decisions made towards the end of Raw Deal, but I always felt that lashing out at Barron by sheer virtue of his being there was tasteless, when he's doing that to promote the game and reach out to the fanbase at the same time. M:tG isn't so lucky to have Richard Garfield visit our forums, or run Yahoogroups to keep us up to speed himself (w-ell, especially since he's not designing anymore, but still...).

Barron was always nice to me in any correspondences we ever had. I liked the way he was thinking, and despite my initial resistance to a "Type II" format, I understood why it was necessary, as it was getting harder and harder to bring in new players to the game as the card pool kept increasing. I had an immense amount of respect and admiration for him and the ever-quiet (until now) Mike Foley, and during the height of Raw Deal, I'd have given my left arm and nut just to be able to work for these guys (And I'm left-handed!). Of course, that never happened, and I never even met Barron, since I'm half a planet away.

Having said that, I really stopped checking up on WWE Raw Deal since the game's "death". I wanted to help out if I could, but I realized I was so out of tune with the game, I'd be more of a hindrance than anything else. I wholeheartedly apologize for showing up only now to thank Barron for everything he's done for this community, a community I still proudly belong to.

I'm shocked to learn of Barron's passing. He was a great man, and his passing moves me far more than Eddie Guerero's, Chris Benoit's or (in the hopefully distant future...) possibly and hypothetically even Undertaker's...

You will be missed, Barron. In my book, this is THE wrestling-"related" passing that has and probably will affect me the most for the rest of my life. You gave us a card game I loved to pieces, and you were a wonderful human being in turn.

New Post Up At Magi-Kel! Again!

.:An Allegorical Tale...:.

As an ethicist, I frown upon people in the magic industry whose ethical practices leave a lot to be desired. One such person would be the grandstander.

Is this a tale of reality, or merely an example? You be the judge.

Gah!

.:Feel The Pain!:.

WWE, hire that commentary guy. Nao!

.:Can't Wait For Sembreak!:.

When will this pain end? x_x

The Weekend Was Quiet, But Whoah!

.:Sigh...:.

I don't wanna talk about last Friday's bombing event anymore. It's sad, and it's really just bewildering why they did it... more economic sabotage, perhaps?

My prayers go out to the affected families...

.:Isn't It Lovely?:.

My mom really likes my Beloved, so I can see...

.:Match Of The Yearu!:.

Somewhere around 0:50, prepare to see something that'd make your jaw drop.

Toxicity...

.:Toxicology Reports Are In:.

Chris Benoit had Xanax and testosterone in his bloodstream. The testosterone levels are off the wall, though. It’s insane, since the maximum limit in places like the NFL are 4:1, yet his ratio was 59:1. That’s way too much testosterone. Other than that, no anabolic steroids to speak of.

Hopefully, we can put the blame game to rest, because for all of WWE’s faults, it isn’t right to put the blame on them instead of the man who killed his own wife and son before killing himself.

He may have been one of my favorite wrestlers, but he is far, so far from being my favorite human being, and that fact will forever overshadow whatever achievements he may have had in the squared circle.

.:Speaking Of Toxins…:.

White Rabbit has Formalin! I can’t believe it! My childhood candy of choice, ripped to shreds!

This isn’t some forwarded e-mail I got. It’s something the BFAD discovered themselves recently.

Sigh...

.:Everything Else I'd Wanna Talk About, On Hold...:.

Nothing about yesterday's meeting at WAVE, nothing about Transformers, or the new items I ordered for my mentalism routines.

Oh, well.

.:He Deserves No Tribute From Me...:.

A million and one people have written about him. Some people have condemned him to Hades, others still refuse to believe he did what he did.

I choose to do neither.

It is not up to me to judge him and decree whether or not he should go to Hades. Neither can I look at Chris Benoit as merely a wrestler and separate him from the abomination he committed in killing his family before killing himself.

There is so much wild speculation going on, but this much I know:

1. There is very little reason to doubt that Chris Benoit was the culprit.
2. Roid rage isn't a factor. The murders were premeditated.
3. His stellar career will forever be overshadowed by his last actions.

For the first time in my entire life, I am ashamed to be a wrestling fan. As one of the biggest fans of the Angle-Benoit feuds of age, I cannot look back on my memories of the WWE and smile any longer.

The WWE isn't entirely to blame for what happened, either. Granted that a hundred or so wrestlers under the age of 50 have died in the past ten years, this is an isolated incident of cold-blooded murder perpetrated by a wrestler. Let's can the Jack Thompson syndrome in trying to blame everyone except the perpetrator of the crime himself for what has happened. There is no excusing what he has done, because at the end of the day, hundreds of other wrestlers are subject to the same conditions as he is, and yet this is not how it ended for them.

Even then, a lot of changes have to be made. For the better.

*Sighs*

My brains are still scrambled over this whole debacle. I don't quite know how to react to it all...

Guuhhh...

I'm still dazed. I can't blog properly today at all.

I'm sorry. The whole Benoit thing still eats at me.

I'm At A Loss For Words...

.:I'm At A Loss For Words:.

WWE.com has been reporting that Chris Benoit, his wife Nancy, and their 7-year old son Daniel were all found dead at home last Monday. What is stunning about this situation is that a few hours after the tributes and all, WWE is seemingly taking down any of the tributes for Benoit in light of new information that he may have actually killed his wife and son before killing himself, which just strikes me dumb.

I feel invested in this, knowing how big a fan I have always been of Benoit. He and Kurt Angle were two of my favorite wrestlers to this day, and while I can easily separate the wrestler from the man, the fact that most signs point to foul play on his part just feels devastating.

I cannot in good conscience write a tribute to a man whose last living act as a human being was to take the life of his own wife and son. I cannot in good conscience gloss over this looming possibility while celebrating his contributions to the wresting business.

It just doesn't feel right, and the only sincere thing I can offer is that may he rest in peace, and he was a great wrestler. I can only withold my opinions of him as a human being until after concrete evidence of what happened there comes in.

Don't Miss This!

.:Who Killed Vince McMahon?:.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a suspect.

.:More Fundie Madness…:.

Now, Creationist theory really is on thin ice and hinges on a literal interpretation of scripture, which is not always the brightest idea when considering that the writers of the Bible weren’t really scientists.

When Creationists, at least, the hardcore ones, make an attempt to explain away evolution, we get Museum Of Ignorance like this one.

Gotta love the snarky comments with each photo.

.:Fantastic Four 2…:.

Well, it was at least better than the first film. That’s for sure. I’m glad Rowena and I got to watch it today, and I’m a heckuva lot more glad that we dodged running into her mom, who was actually there in Trinoma as well. That would’ve been a load of trouble for my Beloved and I…

That being said, it’s one of those off days for her. I’m trying to get used to those days. Really, I am. It’s just so difficult, but in spite of the pain, I still do love her because I’ve never felt this… right about a relationship. I appreciate that she said I was “wonderful”, though. Nobody’s ever said that of me before, and it means a lot coming from my Beloved.

I just pray that it’s not just me again. I really hope not.

.:Don’t Miss Out On ToyCon ’07, Because…:.

Kel Fabie is more easily recognized as Kel the Mushroom, one half of the Insomaniacs at WAVE 89.1, from Tuesdays to Fridays, 2-6 in the morning. However, he has been slowly building a name for himself in quite a different path.

As a friend to quite a few members of the Philippine Cosplay community, he has been seen hosting last year’s TOEI-nty Group Cosplay competition at Eastwood City, and has been a constant presence in other conventions such as UP’s AME Matsuri, Hero Channel’s Hataw Hanep Hero, and the recently-concluded launch of Mangaholix in SM Mall of Asia, to mention a few.

Lately, however, Kel has been making quite a name for himself as a magician and mentalist, having performed for parties and audiences organized by the likes of Richard Merck, Mapua University, and presidential daughter Luli Arroyo, and his unique and versatile brand of prestidigitation has extended to the Philippine cosplay committee, as he has performed “crash magic” (The term “crash magic” is courtesy of The Story Circle.) for the people on-the-spot, for the entertainment of those watching.

No stooges. No pre-show setup. Obviously, no camera tricks. Kel Fabie’s repertoire will amaze and astound you, and baffle the mind, as he tells you that anything he can do, you can do. All it takes is unlocking a sense of wonder and gaining an insight into the human psyche. From cards to rings to forks, you will be entertained and astounded at what he has to offer, and all you have to do is show up and watch!

This year’s Philippine Toy Convention will be the next venue for Kel’s “crash magic”, as he does walkaround magic for the audiences on Saturday and Sunday, culminating in a rare onstage appearance as he performs his show-stopping effects, topped off by one that must be seen to be believed! Don’t miss out on it, because all you have to do is go to the ToyCon, and you get grade-A mentalism along with the other excellent highlights of the convention, all for the price of entry!

Get ready to unlock your sense of wonder.

For those interested in booking Kel Fabie for shows, get in touch with him via e-mail: mistervader@gmail.com.

Quickie Update...

.:Old Wrestlers Go Nuts…:.

I wanted to write and say something snarky about each video, but let’s put it this way…

Randy Savage is deluded, trying to call out Hulk Hogan. Hogan doesn’t need to respond to a guy who wussed out on him when he actually joked about taking him on backstage while they were both in TNA. Savage demanded additional security due to his “unsafe working environment”. For someone who wanted to get into a fight with Hogan, he sure chickened out. He compounds the gravity of this video further by talking trash about HHH as well, and making allusions to getting it on with his wife, Stephanie McMahon-Levesque, who was rumored to have taken a ride on the Savage train while she was at the tender age of 14.

Iron Sheik was never someone worth listening to, promo-wise. I’m especially disturbed about his insistence on using his camel clutch submission hold to “humble someone” and “$%#@ them in the @$$”. He also likes using “faggot” as a slur, which is a bit ironic, considering the threats he himself levels on other people…

And, well, Ultimate Warrior, the guy whom Iron Sheik was calling out in this video, reminds me of a certain guy who also wussed out when finally confronted physically. Afterwards, he spins it as him triumphing over Sheik by using his “brains”, when all he really did was cower behind security. According to Warrior, “Queering don’t make the world right.” Such words of wisdom.

.:It’s Here, At Long Last!:.

The IPhone Video is out!

Not only that, there’s a challenge to all those aspiring video makers out there to make a video to blow the internet out of the water. This is one challenge that you should not pass up.

It doesn’t matter if you didn’t watch 2001: A Space Odyssey by the late great Stanley Kubrick. This video just makes you outright salivate for the IPhone. Wow.

.:Two Whole Days…:.

… for me and my Beloved.

I love it when she doesn’t have classes… Heh.