In Memoriam: The Campus 99.5 Megapost

It ain't over 'til it's over...

.:The End Of An Era - Campus 99.5: 23 March, 2008-14 August, 2008:.

Not since Chico and Delamar have I found myself this invested in radio. To this day, I still shake my head and ask myself how this could've all happened so soon. Just a bit over four months ago, Campus 99.5 came into the radio scene, promising something new with an old school flavor, and many were hooked. Hades, I drank the Kool-Aid.

But alack and alas, it wasn't meant to be.

This post will not pull any punches. It will name names, if needed be, and will not hesitate to give out details to prove a point. This is the story of Campus 99.5, however tragically brief the story may have turned out to be.

So sit back, relax, grab a bite or two, because this post is going to be pretty damned long. I was contemplating if I'd put pictures here, but I guess it's unnecessary. Just let the words reach out to you, and know that this was written from the heart.

The Resurrection: As You Believe!

I woke up on Easter Sunday to a text message from Jaybee, telling me to tune into 99.5, because apparently, she's back on radio. I thought it was just her, but upon listening and hearing the familiar voice of John Hendrix imploring me to "maintain this frequency", a chill ran up my spine: Campus was back, and I couldn't be more excited.

You see, when I graduated from college, I applied to many radio stations in hopes of becoming a radio personality. For all of one day, I was a member of Campus Aircheck Batch 3, since they weren't able to promise me anything at the moment in 97.1 way back in 2004. A day later, WAVE 89.1 hired me, and that pretty much was my home in radio land for the next three years. Despite that, I was still friends with most of the jocks from Campus, since I usually dropped by them, particularly when I had to go report to work for QTV-11. Jaybee was one of those friends I made from Campus Radio.

I never considered getting back into radio after my teaching stint with Reedley ended, and I was fine and dandy concentrating on my thesis and my mentalism/magic/hosting career, since it was paying off pretty well. But something about Campus coming back after all this time struck a nerve with me, and once again, I felt that radio wasn't done with me yet.

Without anything but pure guts willing me on, I did the rounds of the stations again: RX, WAVE, Campus, and even NU. NU was inclined to hire me albeit in a marketing position with only the on-air stuff as a second thought. Despite the fact that I had a sure shot in NU, I stuck it out with Campus, primarily because I was very familiar with the format, and of course, I had my thesis to worry about.

Campus, despite not giving me any promises, appealed far more to me. This was a station I grew up listening to before I discovered RX. This was a station I loved, and these were jocks I admired and respected. John Hendrix was very accommodating to me, and after a few weeks, I was given a trial run on air again...

Mister Vader: Akala...

So I was given a trial run, and my show came after the Brewrats, where I met DJ Tado and DJ Angel. I was hooked. I loved the feel of the station, I loved the fact that I could see John Hendrix, Jimmy Jam, Jaybee, Joe Spinner (That's a lotta J's!), and then reconnecting to Migz whom I got to know from Heart FM, albeit he had to change his name to Zack Attack. The other jocks who came from the Hit Squad were likewise amazing people, such as Joshua/Big Z, Neil Almighty/BoyToy, and Ron/Jagger.

My first on-air foray wasn't even my show itself. It was with the Brewrats, as they guested me. I felt welcome. I felt home again. I was at home in radio.

It was a great time for me. I was on air as "Mister Vader", and that meant I was using the name I've always been fond of using online for the longest time, and I was extremely happy about the fact that after almost a year, I was finally back on radio.

Unfortunately, that comeback lasted all of two days.

I expected that I might be taken aside and even taken off the air, but not *this* soon. I was, in a nutshell, told I wasn't "Campus enough", and that I had a lot of rust to work off, especially since I was way off with my ad libs and my voice quality. It was deflating, and it was certainly embarrassing, but I soldiered on, after taking about a week off to think about what happened to me.

Campus Aircheck: Susundan?

When the Station Manager, the Triggerman, broke the news to me that he felt I needed to reacclimate myself to being on air, and I sucked it in and took it like a professional. Over the next two weeks, I trained with John Hendrix on and off, but after a while, Joe Spinner took the initiative to really drill me as best he could. This meant that I would find myself training more often with Joe Spinner, until I ended up being paired with him regularly from 9-12 noon. He became my mentor in my time in Campus, and I will forever be grateful to him for taking me under his wing.

Meanwhile, I was having the time of my life, getting to know the other Campus Aircheckers, making me technically both batch 3 and batch 5. It was fun, because I met people like Deedah, Hazel, TJ, Gracey, Vanessa, Cherry, Matthew, Miguel, Vice, Czari, Sabs, Tabel, and eventually, Cat, and a few others who were sorta jocks but still technically Aircheckers, Piper, Alex, and Sharon Yu. We bonded, we laughed, we had fun, and we even had unforgettable moments of romance, intrigue, and action. Ask Iza and Arn. I'm sure they'd tell you.

I was rechristened "Sparky" thanks to Migz, and the going was good. It was acting like an elder brother to the Aircheckers I ran into, and I was standing in for training whenever the opportunity presented itself. I may not be an official jock on Campus, but I had years of radio experience under my belt all the way back from high school...

I felt like I had a new group of friends I'm very comfy with. We even started an "Aircheck Da Who" Multiply site, where we gossiped about ourselves, just because. It's hard to even believe all of this stuff happened in under five months.

The Redux: Back 2 Me!

En route to the Campus launch party, Redux, we actually got visited by Boo Kyler from 103 1/2 MAX FM, and he told us that we pretty much "kicked their @$$3$" in sales for that month. He congratulated us and welcomed us back, and for the next couple of months, it appeared we were doing well sales-wise. We were at worst, at number four (out of five), and at best, at number three. At least, that's how it was for a couple of months.

Yes, you heard it right. I wasn't fibbing when I said we weren't last in sales. Unfortunately, I can only speak for two months out of the four and a half that Campus was on the air. Can I spill this now? Well, I just did.

By the time we got to Redux, things were in full swing. I opened for the show with a magic show(!), and people were having fun in the party, as everyone from Zelle to Fuse to Callalily to Spongecola to Bamboo were performing. Needless to say, the night was electric, and despite any snags that may have occurred, the overall prognosis thus far was positive. Who could have possibly thought things were going to slowly turn sour, right?

The Necessary Pinoy Exchange Sidebar: Bakbakan Na!

The thread may now be closed, but Campus 99.5 went 164 pages on Pinoy Exchange before it finally wrapped up. There was a lot of stuff going on, and a lot of discussion in that particular thread, and even jocks like John Hendrix, Jimmy Jam, and Joshua chimed in there when they got the chance.

It's sad, because the lifespan of the station paralleled the lifespan of the thread: it was all ups and smiles until shortly after Redux, when it seemed a rift inexplicably began between the Campus listeners and the Brewsters, and I found myself smack dab in the middle of it, trying to pacify both sides and letting them understand that there was no conflict to speak of. People were making mountains out of molehills, and I took it upon myself to alleviate the tension in the thread, and at some point, even found myself being lashed out at for no good reason at all.

Shortly after the issue turned into a Brewrats vs. Boys Night Out debate which meant the Campus feud was all but forgotten, some users came into the Campus thread to ignite flamewars by insulting the jocks, calling them "old" and "baduy", and (at the time) falsely claiming that Campus was dead last in the sales. They weren't.

I stood my ground and called out any shenanigans, even getting personal insults thrown in my direction in the process, for acting as if I were a jock when I wasn't, and I saw them belittling my status as a Campus Airchecker. I avoided insulting them and just pointed out that it's their opinion, but there's no need to call anyone names, but the thread degraded into flamefests, and I was called many things I have never heard anyone call me in my life.

By the end of the thread, the haters were rejoicing, and instead of being angry at them, I only felt sorry for them. If their life revolved around whining against a radio station that is not actively trying to hurt them, and if they rejoice over people losing their jobs and kicking people while they're down, then I really can't help but feel sorry for them. I said my piece, left the thread, and just overall lost a little bit of faith in the human race there.

I conducted myself with dignity in the middle of people insulting my friends and my mentors. To me, it was personal.I took it seriously because I felt it was unfair how people were putting down the station when normal people just tune out instead of showering the thread with potshots. I was misquoted and made out to be a liar, but the truth will out, and at the end of the day, I know I have made a difference in that thread and made some friends, even.

Rev Up: I'm Yours!

When an opening suddenly showed up due to staff reshuffling, I found myself handling a show during the graveyard shift again. Despite the fact that I still had to identify myself as Aircheck Batch 5, the show for the people who "can't sleep, shouldn't sleep, or simply don't wanna sleep," Rev Up, was back. Yep. Same tagline as Insomaniacs way back in WAVE, I know.

For those wondering, no I wasn't on the payroll for this. Out of love for the station, I did it for no payment, although it was a tad problematic for me because I wasn't that financially well off at the time, particularly since I didn't have any shows in July. Despite that, I soldiered on, never mind what my circumstances were.

This was where I really bonded with people like Cat, Neil, and Gracey. I found my groove on the air again, and it was just great being able to host my own show again, and really ad lib through it. Quite a marked improvement over my last few months at WAVE, really, so I ran with it.

I have to say, given the 1+ month I had in that show, I acquitted myself well, and have lots of newfound friends and listeners to show for it.

Alack and alas, I ignored the signs that all this wasn't going to last...

The Beginning Of The End: Slippin' Away...

There are some things that happened behind the scenes that personally involved me that I'd rather not go over because I feel it's not my place to air out dirty laundry. Nonetheless, anyone who has me on LJ would probably know the details of it, and anyone who knows me personally would know what connections I had to offer and what transpired on that turning point (for me) in Alabang...

Having said that, there was lots of tension in the air, and I'll leave it at that. People didn't see eye to eye on a lot of things. The writing was on the wall, but the thinking was if the ratings did come, then whatever the case may be with the sales (I was, by end of July and early August, pretty much in the dark on this.), things would smoothen themselves over since it was going to be all good once the ratings back up the moves of the on-air staff.

I never even got to know how the station did. All I know is that like when the Triggerman took me off the air as Mister Vader, "I expected it, but not this soon."

The Boulevard Of Broken Dreams: Disconnection Notice!

I was hosting the wedding reception for Mark and Diane when I got a text message from the Triggerman...

"As of 5PM today, I am no longer connected with Real Radio 99.5. Thank you very much for your support."

Since it contained only a subtle indication that Campus itself was gone (Real Radio 99.5? Shoulda seen that a mile away.), I took it to mean that Triggerman resigned or was terminated from the company, but after asking Joe Spinner about it some more, I realized it was a freaking reformat. Since I wasn't on the Aircheck SMS shortlist, John Hendrix didn't tell me that Campus was gone (This, despite being asked to reiterate I'm from Aircheck every ad lib by the man... odd.). I found out for myself, and next thing I knew, wild speculation was flying all over the place.

"I heard they got fired!"

"I heard Triggerman resigned and the rest of the jocks followed suit!"

"I heard it was sales' fault. They didn't do their job."

"I heard the sponsors threatened to pull out if the reformat didn't happen"

"I heard the ratings were bad."

"I heard the ratings were good, but the sales were still terrible."

"I heard this, I heard that."

"Haha! Sparky, you just got FIRED!"

"How can he be fired when he's not even HIRED?!?"

"Goodbye, Campus. We're going to miss you."

"Hooray! Campus is dead! Long live RT!"

In a span of a few hours, I was almost literally swimming in details, both real and fabricated, from all sides involved, even those who really weren't involved, but wanted to pretend they were. To this moment, I don't know what to believe. All I know is that it felt like a punch to the gut, and it was almost full circle from when I thought only Jaybee was back in radio to when I thought only Triggerman left the company... I didn't see the whole picture until I really sat down to think about it...

And by then, when I listened to the radio, all I heard was music. No jocks. No nothing. Just plain music.

Campus 99.5 was indeed gone too soon. It was the end of an era, however short-lived it may have been.

The Aftermath: It Will All Get Better In Time...

I've come to terms with the recent developments, and am at peace with myself with how I have conducted myself in the months I have been under training in Campus. I don't have any regrets with giving my time freely and voluntarily for those months, and I feel no anger over the end of an era yet again.

On a personal level, I am not slighted over losing a "job". It wasn't mine to lose, to begin with. All the service I have rendered was a labor of love not just for the Campus format, but for the radio industry as a whole.

On behalf of my fellow Aircheckers, though, I would just like to remind everyone else that the people who were affected by this are real people. Resignation or termination or whatever the case may be, these are people who have hopes and dreams, families to feed, and are no different from you and me.

For the life of me, I can never comprehend why people would take personal happiness from people losing their jobs, or in the case of Aircheck, having their hopes and dreams dashed. While all this may be temporary, it's as real and true as it can get. As I talk to my other fellow Aircheckers about what happened, I feel the genuine sadness over what has transpired. Real feelings of people who truly and personally invested themselves into the station.

I hope the people who laugh and point in the middle of the tears being shed by my fellow Aircheckers can sleep well at night, knowing that they revel in the suffering of another human being. I, for the life of me, cannot wish such a fate on even my own worst enemy.

I came into this all those months ago with much excitement and happiness for the return of Campus. I never once used this as an opportunity to compare them with Hit, or put down any other jocks, mainly because I respect the legacy of Hit and RT as a whole, all the same. How I felt about Campus had nothing to do with what I thought of the previous station's format.

I went on-air for all of two days as a DJ trainee before I was told I wasn't "Campus enough", and while I could've picked my ball up and went home from then, I decided to soldier on and train under Campus Aircheck, despite having been a jock in another station for three years already. I turned down an offer from another station with a radically different format because I wanted to do what I can to help Campus, even at my own personal expense.

I went through the unpleasant experience of the flamewars on PEX between Campus listeners and Brewsters as a pacifist, until finally we realized there was no reason to fight, to begin with.

I tried remaining a pacifist as people actively began to not just criticize, but demean the station, all the while respecting their opinion, but calling out any shenanigans when it comes to inane speculation, and baseless accusations.

I took it all in with nary a sweat when I was insulted for no good reason other than I dared to respond, to clarify. Truly, I was fighting city hall.

I took it all, personal attacks and everything, because you know what? I love radio too much to let some troll or flame-baiter sully my mood.

But when some of the closest friends I've made in the last five months are breaking into tears over what happened, and when I think of those who choose to laugh and kick us when we're down, I realize that this is something I can no longer take sitting down. Just know that if you are rejoicing now over what has happened, you are building your smiles on the tears and broken hearts of many people.

I will always treasure the things I learned from Campus, both good and bad.

From the many times I've been corrected by the person I look up to as my mentor, Joe Spinner...

... To the eye-widening things I learned about the industry from Neil...

... To the crazy antics I've had with my Fellow Aircheckers...

... To the wasak moments I had with the Brewrats...

... To the Rickrolling fun with Jaybee, Alex, and Piper...

... To the radio stories swapped with Jimmy Jam and Dada...

... To the hi-bye's with Nana...

... To the yet-to-be-delivered promise of a hook-up courtesy of David...

... To the fun conversations with Joshua and Ron...

... To the sunshine that was Lee...

... To the John Hendrix (And often, Jimmy Jam too!) impersonations...

... To the "High School Musical" tripping with Migz and his christening me "Sparky"...

... All of this is what made me feel so alive the last few months.

Even the times spent with sir Gener, sir Cherry and the other technicians, and everyone else in the office was nothing short of memorable.

To the people who rejoice over the apparent demise of Campus 99.5, I sincerely pray for you people. May you never find yourself in sad times and have people laughing in your face when you need a helping hand the most. Nobody deserves that. Despite all you have done, I will never wish that upon you.

And with that, my life will go on, wherever it may take me. If I could do everything over again, I'd still have chosen to go to Campus 99.5 despite knowing what I now know.

This post is dedicated to all the people, from jocks to office personnel to fellow aircheckers I've encountered in the months I've been with Campus 99.5. Whatever happens, you all have been a significant part of my life and of my growth as a human being.

So long, and thanks for all the fish! I know we'll still see each other again!

One Last Song: Saludo, by Six Cycle Mind

This song goes out to everyone in Campus 99.5. I wouldn't be here right now if I didn't love you guys. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for all of you guys. Thank you so much for everything, thanks for bringing the Campus back into our lives, if only for a while. Sa inyong lahat, saludo ako.

For the people who can't sleep, shouldn't sleep, or simply don't wanna sleep, thanks for Revving Up here on the number one hit music station in Metro Manila, Campus 99.5! This is Sparky, a proud member of Campus Aircheck Batch 5, signing off.

Saludo
by Six Cycle Mind

May bago kang liwanag
Isang dalangin
Pag alanganin sa takbo ng buhay

Refrain:
Punong-puno ng galit ang magulong paligid
Nakaya mong magtimpi
Lahat ay may ginhawa sa taong may tiyaga
Natuto kang sumabay

Chorus:
Saludo ako sa‘yo
Saludo ako sa ‘yo

Bawat araw, bawat oras
Punong-puno ng pag-asa
May kalungkutan sa iyong damdamin
Hangad mo ay magandang bukas

(Repeat Refrain)
(Repeat Chorus)

Ilang umaga man ang haharapin
Kapiling ang mga dalangin
Bawat pagsubok na babanggain
Ligaya mo ang aking nais
Bawat lungkot na sasaluhin
Tinig mo ang aking awitin

(Repeat Chorus twice)

(Repeat Refrain 4x)

R.I.P., Campus 99.5...

Post to follow on Sunday... I haven't thought about what to really say yet, but hopefully, my post on Pinoy Exchange will suffice in the meantime...

KEL AND JAY @ NBN-4 TONIGHT!

I'LL BE ON TV TONIGHT WITH JAY MATA, 9:15 PM, AT NBN-4. The show is entitled "Ang Say Ng Kabataan", and they'll be talking about mentalism!

Congratulations To Mark And Diane!

I'll post more sensibly, but for now, I just want to congratulate two of my great friends, Mark and Diane for tying the knot! May this Ad-Hoc connection forever remain strong!

Woo-hoo! Thanks also for giving me the honor of hosting and even doing magic for your wedding...

And much lurve to my Beloved for being there. It was definitely something I'm grateful for...

The details are all hazy, but I guess it's understandable due to the things that happened that day...

So Many Things Happened, But Still Can't Blog...

I'm just too tired, but here's a quick rundown of things to backblog for yours truly...

1. The 10 Emerging Influential Blogs Night.
2. My Beloved.
3. Nice Guys, Bad Boys, and you.
4. Sacha's birthday, Shari's birthday, Diane's wedding.

And, oh...

5. NBN interview tomorrow about mentalism.

Yehey! Wala Na Kami!

.:Yehey! Wala Na Kami!:.
may-akda di-kilala

Yehey! Wala na kami.

Yehey! Wala na kami. Wala na akong aalalahanin, wala na akong iisipin...

Pero hirap akong matulog sa gabi dahil bumabalik yung mga alaala noong magkasama kami. Naiisip ko kung paano niya hawakan yung kamay ko, yung tipong nagsasabing hindi niya ako iiwanan. Kung pa'no niya ko yakapin, yung nagsasabing lagi niya akong poprotektahan. At kung pa'no niya ako halikan, yung nagsasabing mahal na mahal nya ako.

Yehey! Wala na kami. Hindi na ako iiyak pa...

Pero kapag gabi nagagawa ko pa ring umiyak, dahil nami-miss ko siya. Nami-miss ko yung mga ngiti niyang nakakaloko, mga jokes niyang corny, mga tingin niyang nakakatunaw, tawa niyang nakakabaliw, pangungulit niya sa akin at kung anu-ano pang kapraningan na ginagawa niya. Nami-miss ko yun...

Yehey! Wala na kami. Wala na akong tatawagan, hindi na ako magte-text sa kanya, at makakaipon na ako ng pera para sa sarili ko.

Pero sa tuwing hawak ko ang cell phone ko, lagi kong hinahanap ang pangalan niya. Lagi akong nate-tempt na magtext sa kanya, o di naman kaya, tumawag. Nangangati lagi ang darili ko na pindutin ang "Write Message", i-type ang message ko, i-scroll yung button para makita ko yung number niya na nasa "aa" naman, at tapos ipe-press ko yung "Send." O kaya naman,i-scroll ko yung button para mahanap yung name niya tapos ipe-press ko yung "Call." Kahit na alam ko na mauubos na ang load ko at wala na akong pambili ng load (dahil kabibigay lang ng nanay ko).Kahit na alam kong hindi naman sya magre-reply at hinding-hindi nya ako tatawagan. At kahit kailan hindi na nya gagawin pang magparamdam.

Yehey! Wala na kami. Magkakaroon na ako ng time para sa sarili ko, sa pamilya ko at sa barkada ko.

Pero sa tuwing lalabas ako ng bahay, kasama man ang pamilya o barkada ko, siya lagi ang naaalala ko, na sana, kasama ko siya ngayon. Magkahawak kamay na namamasyal, naglolokohan, nagkukulitan, at nagtatawanan. Tapos, walang katapusang usapan kung saan kakain ng lunch, kung sa Fazoli's, Congo Grille, Gerry's, o sa Mang Jimmy's at sa mga tinatambayan namin. Kung pupunta ba sa sinehan para manood ng pelikula, kung maglalaro ba kami ng bowling upang magkaalaman na kung sino ang mas magaling, o kung mapilitan akong mag-ice skating kasama siya. Tapos, kasabay ko siya papauwi sabay nanakawan ko ng halik habang nasa biyahe.

Yehey! Wala na kami. Hindi na ako magpupuyat sa kakatutok sa computer, aabutin ng madaling-araw kaka-chat sa kanya.

Pero sa tuwing may ise-search ako sa Internet, bubuksan ko ang Plurk ko at sasabihin na nami-miss ko siya. Papasok ako sa Blogger at magbabakasakali na sumagot siya sa isa sa mga post ko, o kahit man lang sa Shoutbox ko. Titingnan ko ang Friendster at Multiply ko at pagmamasdan ang mga larawan namin noong masaya pa kami... bubuksan ko din ang Yahoo Messenger, dahil baka sakaling dumating siya. Makausap ko man lang, makikipagkulitan uli at baka sakaling magkaliwanagan kami at maibalik ang dating "kami."

Yehey! Wala na kami. Wala na akong girlfriend, pwede na akong tumingin sa iba.

Pero sabi ko sa sarili ko, hindi ko na kayang magmamahal pa muli. Alam ko, dahil sinubukan ko. Alam ko, dahil siya lang ang mahal ko. Siya lang ang nakaka-kumpleto sa araw ko, siya lang yung inspirasyon ko sa mga bagay-bagay. Siya lang yung nakakaintindi sa akin kapag may problema ako. Siya lang yung nakakapagpatahan sa akin kapag umiiyak ako. Siya lang ang buhay ko, siya lang, wala ng iba.

Yehey! Wala na kami. Wala na ring saysay ang buhay ko.

A Song To Myself...

.:A Song To Myself... Today's LSS:.

Dear Marcelle,

You blew it. Big time.

No Love,
Marcelle

Apologize
by Timbaland feat. One Republic

I'm holding on your rope
Got me ten feet off the ground
And I'm hearing what you say
But I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down
But wait...
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around and say..

That it's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

I'd take another chance, take a fall, take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
(But that's nothing new)
Yeah yeah

I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue
And you say
Sorry like the Angel Heaven let me think was you,
But I'm afraid

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
Woahooo woah

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah

I'm holding on your rope
Got me ten feet off the ground...

Wonderful...

.:Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You...:.

You were beautiful today. Really, you were.

I found it incredibly difficult to not keep on looking at you despite the fact that my stomach was doing cartwheels on me with what I was going through.

Maybe I'll forget about you. Maybe I'd get to move on.

Just call me the king of wishful thinking...

.:Today's LSS...:.

King Of Wishful Thinking
by Go West

I don't need to fall at your feet
Just 'cause you cut me to the bone
And I won't miss the way that you kiss me
We were never carved in stone
If I don't listen to the talk of the town
Then maybe I can fool myself..

I'll get over you.. I know I will
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking
I am the king of wishful thinking

I refuse to give in to my blues
That's not how it's going to be
And I deny the tears in my eyes
I don't want to let you see.. no
That you have made a hole in my heart
And now I've got to fool myself..

I'll get over you.. I know I will
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking..
I'll get over you.. I know I will
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking

I will never, never shed a tear for you
I'll get over you

If I don't listen to the talk of the town
Then maybe I can fool myself..

I'll get over you.. I know I will
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking
I'm the king of wishful thinking
I'll get over you.. I know I will
You made a hole in my heart
But I won't shed a tear for you
I'll be the king of wishful thinking
I'll get over you..
I'll pretend my heart's still beating
'cause I've got no more tears for you
I'm the king of wishful thinking..
I'll get over you.. I know I will
You made a hole in my heart
And I'll tell myself I'm over you
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking...

As Much As I'd Like To Write Certain Somethings...

.:Cryptic Disclaimer:.

There are two things I really want to write about at the moment...

Unfortunately, the first one needs some more time for me to mull over what I'd want to say. I know I had a lot of fault in the matter, but at the same time, I feel that it shouldn't have come as a surprise to begin with.

I guess when it comes to the first one, discretion is the better part of valor. I can say my piece and defend myself, but I don't think it would achieve anything, so I'd just leave it at that.

The second one, on the other hand, is something I am trying to write as we speak. However, what I realize is that I don't want to put it out in public for people to read. I think I'd best keep it on my Livejournal when it comes down to it...

The Samsung Omnia: Everything You Ever Wished For!

.:Lemme Tell You Something...:.

For the most part, I'm a Nokia user, but if I had to make an exception just once, then I'd best make it a good phone.

I don't have an I-anything, and it's not that I hate Apple or anything silly like that. I just don't see any use for it, and I'm very pragmatic when it comes to my gadgets. I would prefer a dedicated phone/camera/portable gaming unit/music player even if it meant multiple gadgets rather than a mediocre hodgepodge of all these devices in one.

That's why I'm really happy to say that the Samsung Omnia is simply a treat for anyone who wants a phone that does everything you expect of your dedicated devices, and does all of them well. With a 5-Megapixel camera, 16GB of memory, and full Wi-Fi capabilities for going online, this phone can pretty much do everything aside from being your prom date.

I have to apologize that I don't have pictures of this wondrous phone at the moment, but that's mainly because I don't have ways to transfer any data as I write this, but I hope that my glowing recommendation of this phone will suffice. I'm not the most tech-savvy blogger out there, but I liked what I saw: a very smart and intuitive phone that looks stylish and fulfills multiple roles very handily.

It was great being at the presentation in Manila Peninsula last Thursday night, truth be told. I especially liked that nifty landscaping feature of the camera that allowed it to pretty much digitally stitch together multiple pictures so that it could create one sprawling panoramic shot. That, and its intuitive discreet mode that is activated merely by turning the phone face-down.

Other bloggers were also present, and I'm sure they'd have their own take on how they found this phone, but I have to tell you, I'm sold on it. Priced competitively for a phone of its caliber, it definitely is an eye-catching and impressive phone for the person with discerning tastes.

Much gratitude to the people from Samsung, as well as the people from Microsoft, who helped us figure out how well Microsoft works in conjunction with this phone. I was definitely impressed with the potential for this phone, and it's definitely a phone I would love to have for myself. It has pretty much everything one can wish for in a phone, and then some.

Much gratitude as well to Juned, for introducing me to some of the people from Samsung, and of course, to the other bloggers who were similarly there and made for awesome company. I can't thank Samsung enough for not only taking the time out to help us learn the ropes of the new Omnia, as well as for this lovely Digital Photo Frame I'm staring at right now... wow. That's all I can say.

You can be sure I have something nice to say about them later when I'm on the air... in the sneakiest way possible, of course.

Name That Tune Meme!

.:Since I Don't Know What To Write About Today...:.

I had an interesting day today, mainly because of something I did in the evening, but I think I'll save writing about it some other time. I don't need the emoness to tain the experience...

.:The Name That Tune Meme!:.

Taken from May Martinez...

Pick out your 20-25 favorite songs.

Pick out a line from each (try not to use the chorus or title of the song). List them and see if people on your friends list can guess them. Once one is guessed correctly, strike it out.

To the people answering: NO GOOGLING FOR THE LYRICS!

1. "My heart starts breaking, when I think of making a plan to let you go..." Rick Astley - It Would Take A Strong, Strong Man (Guessed by Gurlalein)

2. "Well, I gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now... oh s***, I forgot, how'm I suposed to send this tape out?!?" Eminem - Stan (Guessed by Bulitas)

3. "And I won't miss the way that you kiss me, we were never carved in stone. If I don't listen to the talk of the town, then maybe I can fool myself..."
Go West - King Of Wishful Thinking (Guessed by Fitz)

4. "You showed me how tomorrow and today, my love is different from the yesterday I knew..." Apo Hiking Society - When I Met You (Guessed by Bulitas)

5. "All day, I'm talking to myself in public, dodging glances on the train..." Matchbox Twenty - Unwell (Guessed by Bulitas)

6. "Alam mo bang, kanina pa akong magdamag nang nakatingin sa iyo? At di mo lang alam, sa gitna ng kadiliman, di mapakali, ako'y nabighani..." Sugarfree - Mariposa (Guessed by Mighty Dacs)

7. "You think by now I've learned, play with fire and you get burned..." Teri Desario - Fallin' (Guessed by Bulitas)

8. "'Di mo alam ako'y nasasaktan, sa 'di pagpansin sa aking pagmamahal. Lumapit ka't ako'y naghihintay..." Gary Valenciano - Gaya Ng Dati (Guessed by Xee)

9. "The rain on my face, it covers the trace, of all these tears I had to waste..." Rick Astley - Cry For Help (Guessed by Mighty Dacs)

10. "But then you went and changed the words, and now my heart is empty..."

11. "Some of us hover when we weep for the other who was dying since the day they were born..." Lisa Loeb and Nine Stories - Stay (Guessed by Toni)

12. "Oh and it's okay if you go away. Just remember the telephone works both ways..." Jason Mraz - You And I Both (Guessed by Bulitas)

13. "I tried to find you but you were so far away. I was praying that fate would bring you back to me..." Wilson Phillips - You're In Love (Guessed by Mighty Dacs)

14. "I have to say, though alone in this crazy sea of faces, it’s still your face I wanna know..."

15. "It's been two years since she passed on, but somehow the pain still lingers on,
and no other day can magnify it like this day..."

16. "Hindi ba natin kayang dayain,ang mga yakap sa tuwing lumalambing..." 6 Cycle Mind - Biglaan (Guessed by Bulitas)

17. "I wanted you to stay, the tears begin to show. You said you cared for me, but then you had to go..." Second Wind - Pain In My Heart (Guessed by Mighty Dacs)

18. "So I ask myself what you have left behind for me, to go on each day to live as if I have you once again..." Basil Valdez - Let The Pain Remain (Guessed by Xee)

19. "Loved me fearless when you needed to. You would not rest till you came through. So god bless and thank you..."

20. "Some people will work things out, and some just don’t know how to change..." Boyz II Men - Water Runs Dry (Guessed by Mighty Dacs)

21. "How could you make then break my heart? If I can’t say, “I miss you”, let me say one last thing..."

22. "You were my world, you meant everything to me. You're the air I breathe, the song I sing. You were my queen, I was your king..."

23. "Oh, another social casualty. Score one more for me..." John Mayer - My Stupid Mouth (Guessed by Bulitas)

24. "I need inspiration, not just another negotiation..." Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore - Way Back Into Love (Guessed by Xee)

25. "Cause we can never be more than friends, and it hurts me everytime I close my eyes, all I see is you..." Kim Chiu - Crazy Love (Guessed by KCness)

Yesterday's Long But Enjoyable Day...

.:Good Times To Kick Off...:.

After doing Rev Up on Campus 99.5 from 3 to 6 in the morning, I dropped in next door to hang out with Mo, Mojo, and Grace Lee for their show, and I noticed Mojo wasn't in the best of moods as he was a tad, nay, quite angry at some kid, refusing to give him ticket because his brother did something mean to Mojo.

Even Mo Twister, who's normally the mean one among the three, was actually asking Mojo to lighten up already and give the tickets. First of all, it wasn't even the kid who insulted Mojo, but his brother, and he shouldn't be obliged to rebuke his brother, particularly when he's younger.

It was a fun show all around, especially since they had lots of people in the booth to keep them company, as well as Mo's newly neutered dog, who was snoring in the booth while catching some sleep. Heh. It was pretty fun, and we even exchanged talks about how I first met Mo during his joint album launch party with Chico and Delle all those years ago in SM Centerpoint, and the fact that I rarely listen to radio during the morning show nowadays because I'm more inclined to go to sleep instead and all that...

In any case, Robi the Rascal actually showed up on the show as an impersonator for Tokuda, the 73-year old Japanese porn star. Ah, Japan. Never change. I was especially amused by how he tried flirting with Grace Lee, talking about her "Mount Fuji's", among other things,and how he'd like to star in a movie with her, like "The Devil Wears Nada" or "Crotching Tiger" or something. He was hilarious and you could see Grace Lee was especially disturbed by the concept of old people sex, and was stunned when "Tokuda" asked her:

Will you do it with me if I were younger, like, 69?

.:Happy Birthday, Charo!:.

After the show, I met up with a client and ran into James from WAVE's sales team, and we talked about my current concerns in radio. Having said that, I then headed off to Charo's house, to see her since it's her birthday. We had a great meal, and the T-Bone steak where we ate at was awesome and affordable, plus we swapped very intriguing stories that I almost wish I could forget about... Damn, Charo, you threw me for a loop! Heh.

In any case, it was a great day spent with a good friend, and here's hoping that the JGL can get together again one of these days. It's been wonderful being able to celebrate Charo's birthday, and it was definitely great because Charo does bring out the gourmand in me... the thousand-layer lasagna just sounds positively sinful.

.:On Characters...:.

Yesterday, Mojo was lamenting that he was being hated by listeners and by the 14-year old kid as a person and not seeing through the fact that he was merely "portraying a character" on the Good Times radio show.

Mo went Batman Begins on him, by reminding him that it's not what he is inside, but what he does that defines who he is. And let's face it: on air, Mojo is flamboyant, and a tad confrontative. Mo had some choice words to describe him instead, but I'd rather not use that.

But it does beg the question... was Mojo right in taking offense that his "character" was taken as who he really was? I personally vouch for the fact that Mojo in general is really a nice guy in person, but his radio persona is slightly different albeit it's an extension of who he really is. When people don't "get it", ala how people who think wrestling is real genuinely hate the bad guys, do we have the right to take offense if we are attacked as if our character was really who we were?

Yes and no, I suppose. Being on radio doesn't require a character as it were, and anyone can tell you that. Unlike being a TV actor or a pro wrestler, the "character" you portray is a character you insisted on. Nobody went there and said this is the role you'd play, and how you choose to ask is simply concordant with how differently you carry yourself when you're on air. By dint of this, since the listeners only know you by what you do on the air, then it's easy to understand why they will make judgments about you based on what they hear.

I think that while there are cases where you can't just judge a person, such as in the context of a movie, it's also unavoidable that how one conducts himself in a public venue, whether radio or online forums, is also an indicator of who you are, no matter if this is merely one facet of who you are. If Mojo didn't want to be hated for the character he felt he was merely portraying, then he should've shown to his listeners more and more who he really was rather than his so-called character.

As Mo put it, if you decide to be an @$$ on the air, then don't be shocked when people hate you for being an @$$ even if you're a real saint off the air. He also took it as a chance to poke a bit of fun at Grace Lee, who despite not being uber-innocent, turned out to be rather "boring" on Forbidden Questions, considering the fact that she did nothing but tell the truth... heh.

Grace Lee was cute today, though. She had no idea what it meant for NBA during the off-season, asking if they literally played basketball "off the court"... which just cracked up everyone in the room. She's smart and witty, but she's not sporty, I guess. =P

But then, really now. Mojo's a great guy. It's too bad people don't get to see that about him often enough.

Yet Another Act Of Unprofessionalism: An Open Letter To The Producers Of ABS-CBN's Matanglawin

.:An Open Letter To The Producers Of ABS-CBN's Matanglawin...:.

Last Saturday, I was requested by your crew to be present in Makati for an interview for your episode involving magic and mentalism. Initially, this shoot was scheduled at 6PM, but the day before, it was moved to 1:30PM instead.

I understand that schedules are often subject to change when it comes to TV productions. As a former segment producer in another TV network, I know how difficult it is to get schedules in sync just to get a shoot right.

I suppose this explains why I am writing this to express my disappointment when despite being at the venue and despite the fact that the shoot was already being conducted, Jay Mata and I, who were designated as Escape Artists for this particular shoot, were asked to be rescheduled with another group of magicians instead of the group of mentalists we were with at the time.

Now, first of all, Jay Mata and I are both mentalists as well who only happen to have branched out in Escape Artistry. Secondly, we were specifically asked to be present for this shoot, and not this other shoot we have only heard about on the day itself. Thirdly, we were already at the venue, and the shoot was already in progress. Why would we have to reschedule ourselves when we were already at the venue while the shoot was already in progress? Would it have been too much effort to actually inform Jay and myself earlier on that our presence was not required?

You see, this other shoot was something we were completely uninformed about, and was scheduled at 9PM, a full seven and a half hours after the schedule agreed upon. Both Jay and I took the effort to free up our schedules for this shoot, in my case no mean feat considering I sacrificed sleep to make this commitment on time, having been up for the past thirty hours due to my work as a radio personality in Campus 99.5. If a distinction between magicians and mentalists exist, would there not be yet another distinction for escape artists? Unlike magicians, there is simply no "secret" to escape artistry, except pure skill and efficiency.

This abhorrently unprofessional display by your staff is a far cry from what I would expect from a program produced by one of the country's leading television networks. As professional performers, Jay Mata and I value our time and expect due respect as professionals who have taken time out to be present for this particular shoot. Furthermore, asking us to reschedule a full two days after this mishap only emboldens our opinion that your staff does not possess any amount of professional courtesy whatsoever: we categorically stated that given this mistreatment, we would rather not be featured on this particular episode anymore.

Did you honestly think that we merely said this for dramatic effect? We would rather sacrifice a chance for exposure if it means that we could preserve our integrity as professionals. We are hoping that if your staff is sincere in making up for their transgression, they would have a far more substantive effort than that, otherwise, it would be best not to extend anymore half-baked efforts at rectifying this mistake.

We are putting this grievance out in public as it is an affront to Jay Mata and myself. Given the effort we have extended to be present for this shoot, the least your staff could have done was to simply interview us since we were already there. Just because we do not appear to have the clout and influence to make threats does not give you the right to treat us unprofessionally.

Dear producers of Matanglawin, we hope this letter would allow you to rectify this issue in a timely manner. All we asked was some professional courtesy, which we were unfairly denied. Was this really too much to ask for?

Sincerely,
Kel Fabie

The Rick Astley Live In Manila Megapost!!!

.:The EPIC Rick Astley In Manila Mega-Post!:.

This will be a while. Sit down and listen to a tale I have to tell.

The Seeds Of Fandom: A Power I Just Can’t Deny…

Photograph by Poyt.

Most of the time, people see Rick Astley merely as a guilty pleasure. I understand of course the need to maintain one’s composure and not just throw themselves at the altar of an 80’s icon when it’s already 2008, much the same way most girls my age pretend to have never been fans of the Backstreet Boys or Boyzone, or at least declare that their tastes have indeed matured. Fine, I respect that, but I have no such inhibitions, and my fanboyism knows no bounds. When I’m a fan of something or someone, I make no effort whatsoever to hide it, no matter how “bakya” it may seem.

Having said that, Rick Astley is not a guilty pleasure for me. The Rickroll phenomenon was merely a means for me to be in vogue when I wax nostalgic about hits like “Never Gonna Give You Up” and “Together Forever”, and actually discover that one of my favorite songs, “Cry For Help” was actually done by Rick Astley. Yes, I’m not the guy who’d memorize a particular artist’s discography… until recently, that is.

Regardless, I’ve been a fan of Rick Astley since I was four years old, and twenty-one years hence, I’m still a fan.

So what’s to like about Rick Astley? Isn’t he just some kind of 80’s Icon whose time has passed, sorta like Cindy Lauper, Bananarama, and New Kids On The Block? No, not really, because unlike those other has-beens, Rick Astley still has a career (No, a new album for NKOTB doesn’t count. At all.).

Here are ten good reasons to like Rick Astley…

1. His first single was also his biggest… “Never Gonna Give You Up” spent five weeks atop the UK charts. It was the highest-selling single for 1987 in U.K. His follow-up, “Together Forever”, was pretty big as well. So big in fact, that in the Philippines, it inspired a certain guy named Roderick Paulate to follow in his footsteps…

2. He knows how to play the guitar, drums, and piano. His deep baritone voice, similarly, lends to the rumor that he is a front for a black singer.

3. The Rickroll owns Chuck Norris Facts any day of the week. I’d watch a Rick Astley concert, but I would never watch a Chuck Norris concert. It has also become the anthem for the Anonymous movement against the Church of Scientology, which, I must say, is a nice way to give them the bird.

4. The only newcomer deemed better than Rick Astley during the Grammy’s? Tracy Chapman. If you’d lose to someone, may as well be a Tracy Chapman.

5. If you change the pitch of his songs, his voice sounds suspiciously like Kylie Minogue’s. If you lower the pitch of Kylie Minogue’s songs, similarly, you’d hear Rick Astley singing. Don’t believe it? Try this on for size.

6. While famous for dance ditties, “Hold Me In Your Arms” and “Cry For Help” are two of Rick Astley’s most popular songs of all time.

7. During the 90’s, Rick Astley was rocking the long hair. It actually looked pretty cool, if you ask me.

8. He’s a genuine, down-to-Earth guy. Not to mention he’s British. Instead of thinking that the rickroll phenomenon is a nod to his immortality, he acknowledges it as a quirk of the internet, and was more worried about it embarrassing his 16-year old daughter than anything else. He literally turned his back on fame in favor of being a family man and gets more kicks out of being featured on Family Guy than living in his glory days.

9. He doesn’t take himself seriously. He has a dapper sense of humor that’s remarkably almost Austin Power-ish. It’s sad though that due to record industry pressure, he never had the kind of career people like Madonna still enjoy. He doesn’t seem to mind at all, though.

10. The man is a changed man. During his heyday, he lived a very wild life, but managed to walk away from all that just in time to settle down and be the phenomenon he is today.

Excitement Builds: You Couldn’t Get This From Any Other Guy!

A poster I took a picture of way back in May…

Way back in May, I posted about Rick Astley coming to Manila, and even casually mentioned that I’d like to see Roderick Paulate as the front act. As I had no Facebook account, I wasn’t part of the epic Petition group started by Gabe Mercado and friends.

Despite that, I genuinely wanted to see the concert, and since I had a friend who works for Araneta, I asked her for tickets early on. Ironically, she wasn’t going to be my source for tickets for the concert night itself.

The Face To Face: When I Think About Leaving, I Think About Losing…

Notice the resemblance to the poster above? Apparently, a lot of people did.

The thing is, I really wanted to meet Rick Astley in person, and, similar to how I was during the WWE RAW and Smackdown tours, where I met Mick Foley and Batista, Booker T, Bobby Lashley, Michelle McCool, and Chavo Guererro, respectively, I didn’t care much for seeing the actual show anymore afterwards.

As my recent post about how I met Rick Astley in Alchemy thanks to Jayvee intimates, I was on a high when I saw the man, shook hands with him, and even had a picture taken with him. Jokes escalated from my friends when there finally was photo evidence that Rick Astley and I could pass for father-and-son because we really had similar facial features.

I was happy. I didn’t feel the need to go to the concert anymore because I figured I already topped the concert by meeting the man, not just seeing him. But then, the more I talked about it on Thursday, the more I realized I wanted to see the concert. There was still the whole “will Roderick Paulate be there?” bit, and as I kept on listening to his music and watching his videos while online, I felt an irresistible urge to want to see him perform these songs live. When you see WWE wrestlers do their stuff live in Manila, they don’t put nearly as much effort as they would if they were doing it on pay-per-view. In contrast, when a singer goes on concert, it’s less likely they’d just phone in a performance, and I was banking on Rick Astley pulling out all the stops for this one.

It was then that I realized that it takes a strong, strong man to ever let this chance to see Mr. Astley go.

Clawing My Way For Tickets: A Cry For Help

All you need…

My friend who works in Araneta, Be, couldn’t get me any tickets for the show, so I had to think of something, and fast. Thankfully, I already asked my station, Campus 99.5, for tickets. We were media partners, after all. But there were no guarantees, and I didn’t get any word from the Triggerman if he had even just one ticket to spare for me. I headed home from my radio show on Friday morning with a determination to get tickets whatever it took, so I pulled as many strings as I could: Tita Harvey and Kathy Chua, my former co-workers at WAVE 89.1, Uncle Raymund, and so forth. I was prepared to buy from a scalper if needed be, because I didn’t know if the tickets were sold out, plus I wanted good seats. Maybe not Patron, but anything’s better than nosebleed seats…

Then, when I woke up in the afternoon, I was greeted by a text message from Anne of WAVE 89.1. She had two tickets for me that I could pick up from Mossimo Gateway. I gave out a general call on my Plurk, asking for any takers, but I ended up asking old friend and batchmate Cami out.

But then, I received another text message, this time from Joe Spinner. He told me that Triggerman had tickets for me, which just threw me in for a loop, since during the morning, Triggerman said he had nada to give. I was to go to the Campus 99.5 Gateway event and get the tickets from the Triggerman, bringing me up to a grand total of four tickets. That’s when I got back on Plurk and made another open offer. This time, Poyt and Joy answered the call, and I offered to treat them to CBTL for a sandwich or something before we headed out, and in the event things get messed up and they don’t get tickets, they’d still have CBTL to look forward to.

It all went well, and the four of us managed to get tickets. Since Poyt brought her camera, she was pretty much the official photographer for the night, and that was all good.

The Prelude: Don’t Tell Me You’re Too Blind To See…

We built this sitteh… (Photo by, yes, Poyt.)

The place was packed the closer the seats got to the stage. Ironically, there weren’t too many people in the bleachers, and due to the fact that we managed to finagle tickets through WAVE and Campus, we had Patron seats which some of us were tempted to just scalp for money, since they cost 5,270 bucks each. I was in Row I with Cami, while Poyt and Joy were in Row P a bit farther up back.

The concert opened with a set from Tres, the guys who brought you Angel. They were from Bacolod, so the lead singer who looked like Elvis (As the Danish people in front of us pointed out.) was singing with much gusto that “We built this sitteh on rock and roll.” So sue me, I’m a grammar nazi even during a concert. Despite that, they got the crowd going, with stuff from Wang Chung, Van Halen, and so forth.

But one song they sang stood out to me, and Cami pointed that out: it was “King Of Wishful Thinking”, by Go West, and it felt like every single line of the song was meant for me. If I wasn’t pumped up before then (And I was.), I was definitely pumped up and excited for Rick Astley after that song… I even texted Poyt that “King Of Wishful Thinking” was my personal anthem, which she promptly Plurked over her cellphone. It was a 90’s song, though…

So after much anachronistic gyrating from the female singer that looked nothing like from the 80’s, the opening act finished, and more anticipation was building for Rick Astley’s arrival…

There was some massive applause and cheering during this interval. It turns out that Roderick Paulate had front row seats, and we felt that something big was up. Rick Astley knows about the rickroll. He’s been in the Philippines for two days already. Surely someone told him about Tito Dick already!

The Concert: There Ain’t No Mistaking It!

My eyes doth not deceiveth me… (Photo by, you got it, Poyt.)

Rick Astley got onstage, looking every bit like an English gentleman with shades of Austin Powers as he kept saying “yeah, baby!” while sipping on what appeared to be a cup of tea or coffee. He opened with “Together Forever”, and while he didn’t do any dancing, people got up on their feet, and started dancing. It would seem then that after every song, he’d talk to the crowd, thanking everyone for “waiting 15 to 20 years for him to get there” because it was a “long way to canoe all the way from Merseyside” or something along those lines. He was funny, he was witty, and he had the crowd eating out of the palm of his hand.

After performing a couple more songs, he mentioned that he heard about somebody who dances just like him, and I promptly started a “Tito Dick” chant amid the rabid applause. He smartly told the people in attendance that he was going to see for himself at the last part of the concert, thereby assuring that everyone would finish the entire thing, which they certainly did.

He sang his hits with much aplomb. Of course, I especially liked “It Takes A Strong, Strong Man”, as well as “Hold Me In Your Arms”, “Whenever You Need Somebody”, and “Cry For Help”, which is of course, my absolute favorite non-“Never Gonna Give You Up” song. I didn’t even realize he was the one who sang “My Arms Keep Missing You”, and he even had a cover of “When I Fall In Love”. He knew how to play off of the crowd, asking them to be the “largest karaoke in the Philippines” to sing the choir part of “Cry For Help”, and even getting a fan up on stage named Gina, whom he playfully allowed, no, guided to grab his butt in the middle of their duet (Was it “My Arms Keep Missing You” that they sang to? I think so.). He had nothing but nice words to say about the Philippines, about how beautiful the people were and about how he’d want the audience at Jakarta for his concert the next day because of how receptive they were.

Aside from teasing his hotel room number to the crowd, he even had a heartwarming moment where after Gina (Who was insistent in taking pictures of Rick Astley all night long.) went back to her seat, Rick Astley said that he and Gina could get something going on if it weren’t for the fact that he has two women in his life already: his partner and his sixteen-year old daughter. It’s very casual, candid moments like these that made you feel how sincerely and genuinely happy Rick Astley was to be there that night.

Just where are those hands going?!?

He reiterated his invite to Roderick a few songs prior to all of this, saying he had “six more songs to go”, and that he’s saving his energy up to dance for only one song, because according to him, at his age, he only has enough in the tank to dance to one song. Cami and I were cheering like mad and dancing and I was singing along to most every song there. At one point, he even ad libbed a spoken word bit because he allegedly forgot the lyrics to one of his songs. He even brought out the reading glasses to thank his sponsors at one point, making him look radically different…

He sang a lot of my favorites, and some songs I barely know, like “My Arms Keep Missing You”, and songs I’ve only ever heard once, like “Hopelessly”, “Ain’t Too Proud To Beg”, and “Don’t Say Goodbye”.

After six songs, he faked out the audience by pretending to leave already, as if he forgot to sing “Never Gonna Give You Up” (How’s that for a Rickroll within a Rick Astley concert?!?). The Araneta Coliseum crowd wasn’t fooled. They refused to leave, and soon enough, Rick Astley came back, alone. We knew what this meant…

Rick And Dick: Together Forever!

Words cannot express my joy… (Photo by, unbelievably, Poyt yet again.)

Rick Astley grabbed a guitar, and started strumming. I saw this on YouTube before, so I knew he had an acoustic take on Never Gonna Give You Up. At this point, he invited Tito Dick onstage, and…

The EPIC commences!

You could see that Roderick Paulate was genuinely happy. Maybe he hasn’t sung or danced to Rick Astley in at least a decade, but it was just like old times, and it was amazing how it seemed like there was only one singer between the two of them despite the fact that they were passing the mic back and forth. Tito Dick sounded exactly like Rick Astley! The crowd was white-hot at this point, and Tito Dick was firing on all cylinders, from the dance steps to impressing Rick Astley that he actually knew the lyrics by heart, prompting Rick to say that Tito Dick “should’ve been up on stage all night.”

After this bit which arguably got the biggest applause of the night, the band came back and Rick Astley performed “Never Gonna Give You Up” on his own to cap off the show. People in attendance were definitely satisfied. With promises that he’ll be back soon enough, Rick Astley went off the stage, and a good chunk of the fans proceeded to backstage to have autographs and pictures with him. Of course, this is where my Alchemy experience yielded me an advantage, and I didn’t go there anymore.

What’s unbelievable about this was that it may have not happened, and we have Gabe Mercado to thank that he got into Tito Dick’s ear to motivate him to really do the cameo.

After The Party: My Heart’s Still Achin’!

It’s the four lucky people who got free Patron tickets… (Photo by, whodathunk it? Poyt!)

It was a sheer rush of emotion for me. I am a true-blue fan of the man, and it was great having been able to take three of my friends with me to experience Rick Astley. While it obviously wasn’t a Rickroll since we fully expected to see the man, it was an amazing experience, without any question.

A funny thought occurred to me during the concert though, that it would’ve been a genuine Rickroll moment if we went to a Fallout Boy concert and it was Rick Astley who showed up instead.

Having said that, after watching a bit of True Faith at the Gateway event in Campus, the four of us parted ways, although I took Cami home before heading to the station, still obviously on an amazing high after the concert.

I don’t know what else to say about the experience, really. It was a long trek from mere Rickroll jokes (Which I love pulling on unsuspecting people.) to actually seeing the man, the legend, RICK ASTLEY live in Manila. From the moment I found out about the concert, and amid all the not-so-flattering jokes about my musical tastes, my own singing and dancing, and even my sexuality, to the moment I shook his hand in Alchemy, to the moment we stepped out of Araneta Coliseum still singing Rick Astley songs, to the very moment I’m writing this post now, I am grateful for the entire experience, and with no hint of irony and in all seriousness, this will always be a big part of my life.

I don’t know if this message will ever get to Mr. Rick Astley himself, but I just wanted to say: thank you so much, Mr. Astley, and we hope you make good on your promise to come back here. I am one of your biggest fans ever, and you have no idea how you have managed to lift up my spirits at a time in my life where I absolutely needed a reason to smile and be happy and forget about the drama for a moment. God bless you, and may you have continued success in whatever you do.

Call it overacting or hamming it up, but I am dead serious: everyone knew I would move heaven and Earth for a moment like this, and here I stand now, with this post as living testament that no matter what, every dog has his day.

Here are the other posts about the concert… if you have a post about the Rick Astley live in Manila tour, drop me a line, and I’ll link to it here!

Cami
Gabe Mercado
Jayvee
Mighty Dacs
Poyt
Spanky
Spring Roll
Tals

EDIT: ZOMG. The entire concert is on Torrent?!?

Just Because It's Epic... Not Just A Rickroll... A RODERICKroll!

.:The Rickroll Is Topped.. By The Roderickroll!:.

Guys, if you don't believe Roderick Paulate sang and danced to "Never Gonna Give You Up" while Rick Astley was playing the guitar at last night's Rick Astley live in Manila "Here And Now" concert, then...

... seeing is believing, innit?

There's Something Very Special About...

.:Today's LSS:.

Soon enough, this is going to be another Lyrically Speaking Scribble...

Cry For Help
by Rick Astley

She's taken my time.
Convinced me she's fine.
But when she leaves I'm not so sure.
It's always the same.
She's playing her game.
And when she goes I feel to blame.
Why won't she say she needs me?
I know she's not as strong as she seems.

Why don't I see her cry for help?
Why don't I feel her cry for help?
Why don't I hear her cry for help?

I wandered around
The streets of this town
Trying to find sense of it all.
The rain on my face,
It covers the trace
Of all the tears I'd had to waste.
Why must we hide emotions?
Why must we never break down and cry?

All that I need is to cry for help.
Somebody please hear me cry for help.
All I can do is cry for help.

No need to feel ashamed... release the pain... cry for help...

Cry for help is all I need.
All I need is a cry for help.
Cry for help is all I need.
All I need is a cry for help.

Why must we hide emotions?
Why can't we ever break down and cry?
All that I need is to cry for help.
I will be there when you cry for help.
Why don't I hear her cry for help?

All that I need is to cry for help.
Somebody please hear me cry for help.
All I can do is cry for help.

All that I need is to cry for help.
I will be there when you cry for help.
Is it so hard to cry for help?

(Cry for help is all I need.) No need to feel ashamed.
(All I need is a cry for help.) Come on and release the pain.
(Cry for help is all I need.) Put your trust in me.
(All I need is a cry for help.) My love is gonna set you free.

Woooooooooooooohhh...

Posting Soon...

My head's swimming in details about the Rick Astley concert in Manila.

Rest assured the post will be up real soon... Sunday, at the latest.

I'm just really exhausted from screaming my lungs out.

Roderick Paulate danced! And sang! To the acoustic version of "Never Gonna Give You Up"!

Much Love To DJ Anne!!!

.:I'm Too Excited Top Blog Sensibly...:.

... I'm watching Rick Astley's concert tonight!!!

I Just Wanna Tell You How I'm Feeling... I Gotta Make You Understand!

.:You Couldn’t Get This From Any Other Guy…:.

I don’t know if I’m going to see the concert tomorrow, but at this point, I almost couldn’t care any less…

Notice the resemblance?

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, my life is complete.

It started off a day quite like no other… it certainly was a rotten day, to say the least, and I was sulking in a corner, just looking at Plurk, when I saw a very conspicuous message on Plurk from Jayvee.

It just went…

Oh my God! You won’t believe where I am right now!

Call me psychic, but a one-word “Dude!” SMS from Jayvee later, and I knew what was going on… he’s meeting with my idol, my hero, and personal role model, RICK ASTLEY.

I muttered to myself that my luck seems to be turning out just peachy. I was stuck at home, and I had no idea where RICK ASTLEY was, and how to get to this press conference that seemed to come right in the middle of the night. All that I needed was to cry for help!

A few messages from Jayvee over SMS later, and I found out that Rick Astley is not in a press conference but a party in his honor at Alchemy.

Then the bells started ringing in my head. I was friends with one of the owners of Alchemy, Don. He was also a former jock on WAVE 89.1, so after asking help from his former partner, Robi the Rascal, I got in touch with him, and he told me…

I can make arrangements for you to see him, but to meet him? I can’t promise that. Fair enough?

He didn’t need to ask me twice, and in a flash, I was already at Alchemy, getting in solely by namedropping Don on my way to the party. Don’t you know I would move Heaven and Earth to get to see RICK ASTLEY?

That was when I saw him. And he was really larger than life.

RICK. Fucking. ASTLEY. Was. Standing. In. Front. Of. Me.

It’s like time stood still, cherry blossoms started to fall, and tumbleweed just rolled in the horizon. Yes. Cherry blossoms. And tumbleweed. In the middle of Alchemy. It was destiny calling: a power I just can’t deny.

I stood there with my mouth agape, knowing full well that the man, the legend, RICK ASTLEY was just an arm’s length away from me. Jayvee already had a group picture taken with him earlier on, but I figured we could finagle for a bit more than that, so I held my ground near the cordoned off area, and despite some security lapses that I refused to take advantage of (You know the rules, and so do I.), decided to wait it out until Don showed up and waved me and Jayvee into the area where RICK ASTLEY was.

If I wasn’t starstruck then, I was starstruck now. RICK ASTLEY was just right beside me already, as we had a group photo taken with him. It took us a few moments to work up our courage, but in the middle of the Dance-A-Like contest, Jayvee and I took turns having pictures with the man, the legend, RICK ASTLEY!

I was a happy camper. It’s like I found my long-lost brother or something, and… waitaminute…

If only I didn’t smile so damned much…

So after much squealing that would make most people have skewed notions about my masculinity, I ended up taking part in a RICK ASTLEY LOOKALIKE CONTEST, and I’d like to think I almost won, Jayvee notwithstanding.

Of course, some white dude had to join and spoil the fun, so this brown man has been held down once again from winning a RICK ASTLEY lookalike contest. Boo! Racism! =P

I don’t know what else to say, really. Jayvee has videos of the man, the legend RICK ASTLEY even doing some dancing, but since those are his videos, I will just ask you to visit his site for them.

Much, much thanks to Jayvee and to his friend Alora who made this possible, and of course, to Don Puno, who let me gatecrash the party at Alchemy last night just to catch a glimpse of the man, the legend RICK ASTLEY, who's going to be live and in concert in Manila this Friday night!

I’m no stranger to love from now on.

The Shabu-Shabu Affair... (No, Not The Drug.)

.:On A High, On A High...:.

Much love goes out to Byahilo! He made it possible for me to be at this event... how could I even forget?!?

I'm a big fan of good food, and one of the best places I've found myself in recently has got to be Healthy Shabu-Shabu, as the fine people there showed us the ropes when it came to enjoying this delectable treat, amid a microphone with massive echo, and hungry bloggers galore.

The food was amazing, and the company was more of the same. I must admit, it was a tad difficult following the instructions when it came to preparing the food, but once we got over the initial humps, the motions came easy. I had lamb and seafood, and the amazing thing to me was how quickly the meat would be cooked because it was sliced so thinly! Imagine: dipping the meat in the soup would already cook the meat in a mere ten seconds! If you left it in, you'd inadvertently flavor your soup, which in my case, gave the soup this rich, delectable lamb-y sensation when I was polishing off the contents of my pot.

It's amazing though how steeped in history something like Shabu-Shabu actually is: from the time of Genghis Khan, the process was renamed by the Japanese to signify the swishing sound the soup makes as you are preparing it. Needless to say, thanks to the wonderful assistance of the very helpful staff, the experience was a pleasant one, even for the people like myself who can hardly even cook, to begin with.

Lest we forget, the dessert was likewise splendid. It was something like Halo-Halo, except there were so many fruits in the dish, and it made for an excellent way to cap off the sumptuous feast we had. I doubt anyone wasn't totally full after

Much love goes out to the people who made this possible. If you want to have a great meal and an excellent time, don't hesitate to go to Healthy Shabu-Shabu, with numerous branches all over the metro!

This amazing meal was followed by a coffee nightcap with fellow bloggers Kring, Poyt, Coy, Markku, Juned, and Fritz. Hope I didn't miss anyone from that!

I'm Still On A High...

.:I'm Speechless...:.

I'm still processing this...

After a day of unwanted but inevitable drama, it was capped off by...

MEETING RICK ASTLEY IN PERSON!!!

It's like everything else was just erased in that instant! Much thanks to Jayvee for helping make it possible, as well as my former co-worker Don!

I hope to never have to go back to reality from hereon...

Tumutula Dahil Walang Ibang Magawa...

.:Tumutula Dahil Walang Ibang Magawa...:.

Gumising
ni Marcelle Fabie

Namulat mula sa panaginip, nanumbalik sa katotohanan
Nagbago ang hanging umihip, ako'y nahulog sa kawalanan
Nilinlang ang sarili, na hindi ako nag-iisa sa aking nadarama
Ngayon ako'y nagsisisi, nadala lang pala ng maling akala...

Much Love To Healthy Shabu-Shabu!

.:Much Thanks To Healthy Shabu-Shabu!:.

Expect a more sensible post in a few, but tonight's Blogger event at Shang-rila, where the wonderful people of Healthy Shabu-Shabu showed us the ropes, the history, and even the art of eating Shabu-Shabu.

Set aside the silly drug abuse jokes, we of course meant the meal you have where you cook your own food, and I must admit, the food was just unbelievably good.

Unhealthy soups, you are on notice. I rediscovered one of the most awesome things ever to eat, and I don't regret picking lamb...

Confessions And Professions: The Unsent Series, Volume 2, Part V...

.:Confessions And Professions: To All The Girls I L… Huh? Wha? - The Unsent Series, Volume 2, Part V:.

I’ve written so many Unsent letters over the past four or so years already, but this effort will probably count among one of the most emotionally draining endeavors I will have to undertake, as I attempt to write quite a number of these letters. Note that I’d be speaking mostly in the present tense even if the person may long be buried in my past already in reality. It helps keep things ambiguous…

I am, by no means, a ladies’ man. I’ve often found myself pining for only one woman at any given time, but if there’s one thing about me, it’s the fact that I do wear my heart on a sleeve. Not always my sleeve, but any given sleeve, nonetheless. This effort, this series of letters, goes out to all those women, past and present, who have caused me to laugh, or to cry, or to smile, or to make my heart skip a beat, or to stop for a moment and want to be a better man.

My life is a far more colorful life thanks to them... for that, no matter what I may have gone through along the way, I thank them. I wouldn’t be the same person I am today if even one of them never came into my life.

I guess the obvious question was who are all these people? Did I love all of them at one point or another? Since I’m a guy and I had to put my neck out and risk rejection, it wouldn’t look like I’m trying to huff myself up or anything, but the high number does seem… well, high.

To be honest, no. I didn’t love all of them. You’ve had former loves, you’ve had longstanding crushes, you’ve had unrequited loves, but you also had fleeting fascinations, moments of vulnerability, and even… mistakes. You live, you learn.

It is my hope that these letters allow me to say what I’ve always wanted to say, and somehow express my gratitude to all these people, albeit in some cases, I may have a rather strange way of expressing my gratitude…

So without further ado, these are my confessions and professions...

Dear Delightful,

We never explored anything with each other, but I'm glad you understand where I'm coming from. I'm grateful that you don't mind when I bug you in the middle of the night and pour my heart out to you. I know we hardly know each other, but I'm thankful you listen to me, regardless.

Dear Camino Palmero,

I thought I knew you. All of you. But I guess you were too hasty to judge me, and it's sad, because if you opened your minds up a bit, we could've gotten along marvelously.

Dear Quatro,

The minute you stopped becoming that nice, sweet, girl I once knew, and became the person you are today, I realized that there was no way in Hades we'd ever be together. You're just not the person I once knew, and no amount of words could convey the disappointment I feel whenever I see you now.

What a waste. But shoulda, woulda, coulda are the last words of a fool.

Dear Shackles,

I seem to have a knack of scaring people away when I’m too pushy. You weren’t the first, and you certainly won’t be the last. I apologize, because I must admit, I hate screwing up and then losing a friend in the process.

I hope it’s not too late yet, and we can just pretend none of that ever happened.

Dear Sunshine,

You had this effect on me. You literally made me smile whenever I saw you. Words cannot express how amazing it was, that you had this instantaneous calming effect on me from the very first time I met you. I wanted to get to know you better, and see where it went from there, but alack and alas, it would seem it wasn’t meant to be.

At some point, I put my foot in my mouth, and now, I don’t know if we’d ever talk again. I really wish I knew where I went wrong, or if you’re just really afraid of letting someone come into your life and threaten the status quo.

Either way, I could’ve handled the situation better. But I didn’t. Unlike Shackles, I don’t think I’d have the opportunity to set things right between you and I anytime soon, dear Sunshine. Everything's a mess now with you and me.

I just wish you told me from the get-go what you really thought about all of this…

Dear Luna,

I pushed you away when you were one of the few people who stood by me during my worst moments. I’d apologize for it, but a part of me would rather stay away from you when I’m this vulnerable lest we repeat the mistakes we made in the past.

We know it would never work for you and me. Not when you have someone else in the center of your life, as you rightfully should.

Dear Mirth,

I never had the chance to explore anything with you, simply because even just dating is flat out the last thing on your mind. You’re terribly childlike, and that wide-eyed wonder you have is precisely what drew me to you. You seem oblivious to how much I liked you, but I take it all in stride, because though we’re not terribly close, I’d like to think we’re still friends.

I do worry if you’re slowly catching on and drawing away from me, though. I like your company, and I’m perfectly happy if we just stay this way. You, like Sunshine, have this calming effect on me, but what really does draw me to you is how much we do have in common, and how witty you actually can be.

It never fails to amuse me how completely oblivious you are to the concept of dating, as you preoccupy yourself with all the things that gets you going. You’re an awesome lady, and no amount of you bashing yourself over your Philosophy oral exams can ever undermine that.

Dear Black Angel,

I think you’re pretty, and you are definitely someone any guy would love to have as his own, but surprisingly, I’m not as drawn into you as people could normally assume I would be.

I guess it’s because I can’t help but root for the guy who’s trying to win you over right now. You may not see it, but he’s one of the few persons in this planet who can ever genuinely like you for who you are, and not what you’re famous for. Believe me when I say you wouldn’t want to pass up on a person like that.

That, and I don’t think we’d have anything to talk about if we ever ended up together. Not to knock you much, but you’re simply not the sharpest tool in the shed.

Dear Polar Bear,

We know each other too well. We’re too close to ever be a couple. I know your quirks, your idiosyncracies, and everything that’s wrong about you.

You know my patterns, my predilections, and you’ve seen me at my weirdest.

Despite that, and despite your having rejected any attempt by yours truly to take our friendship anywhere else, when it comes to being a true friend, you’re pretty high up on my personal list. =)

Dear Cold Shower,

Like Polar Bear, you and I are too close.

That, and you’re not my type, and neither am I your type. But I just thought I’d write you anyways, because you’re an A-class friend, and I’d be remiss to forget that fact.

You’re the Cold Shower whenever I need to get out of cloud 9 and back into reality, and for that, I thank you.

Dear Hyala,

I don’t want to go to jail. Maybe in a couple of years, we can talk about that again.

Dear Torch,

I may have not loved you the most of all those I ever loved, but I think it’s safe to say that so far, I’ve loved you the longest. Out of everyone here, I’ve known you the longest, and save for one other person, you are practically the closest friend I’ve ever had.

There’s so much I’ve already told you over the years we’ve known each other, so I find no reason to have to keep on saying anything, other than thank you. For having been there for me, for being brutally frank and honest, for not siding with me when I needed to be reminded I’m in the wrong.

Dear Brilliance,

You really had me spinning for the longest time, and though anything between you and me is all but impossible at this point, I’m grateful to have you as a very good friend. To think it all sprung from a chance encounter with you, and a two-year long trek into trying to be friends with you.

While I never did find myself completely going for you, it was fairly clear that I was into you. You are flat out the smartest person I have ever met, and you have a heart of gold.

I’ll always remember you for the wonderful moments I’ve spent with you. You are one of a kind, and though you’re far away, you never fail to come through for me when I need you the most.

Brilliance, I’ve never quite told you that I love you. But now that I can say it with no hint of romance whatsoever, I want you to know that I do love you. Friends like you make me realize that I must’ve done something right in this life to be able to keep your company.

Dear Fine Frenzy,

Some time ago, I thought we had something special. I told you that your man wasn’t doing right by you, and I could do so much better. You made me feel I could, and you made me feel, at my most vulnerable, that I was doing something right.

But now? I realized that you treat every single guy who gave you any inkling of attention the same way. I willingly backed off because I figured you wanted to stick by your man, but knowing that you’re flirting with another guy who just so happens to be taken as well?

There’s normally a word used for that, and I’d rather not use that word on you, but it just rings so true. It seems that you’d only come into my life only when you needed a proxy boyfriend and then promptly forget all about me when you’re okay again. I really should’ve known better than to think there was anything more to us than that. I let myself be used. I was stupid. But I won’t be stupid any longer.

You are happy with him now. My work here is done. We don't even have to stay friends. We can pretend to be enemies.

Dear Headstrong,

It’s funny how you really don't act your age. And I mean that positively. You simply are more mature than other people your age and you certainly have a good head on your shoulders.

Though we've only ever met once, I was immediately enchanted by you. You're intriguing, captivating, and absobloodylutely confusing. Despite that, I'm glad we're cool with each other, and there's no awkwardness to speak of.

Dear Nobility,

If I played my cards right and learned how to bide my time, would there ever have been a chance for us? Our first date and how you spoke of me seemed to indicate so. But weird circumstances and my aversion for office romances doomed us to failure.

Now that too much has been said and done, where do we even begin to rebuild? Is there even a chance for you and me to ever be on good terms again? I thought it would all smoothen itself over when we're no longer in proximity, but it would appear that the wedge driven between you and me has grown more and more insurmountable.

Truth be told, if there's one reason why I always find it difficult to see myself back where we used to be, it's because most everyone else there has decided you're right and I'm wrong. The mere fact I missed out on a party despite being there at the right time should've clued me in...

Being around you intoxicates me. That much is undeniable...

Dear Firebrand,

I realize how much of a clash we are, and how wishy-washy I probably seem to you, being unable to really make the leap and show you how bad I wanted you. You see that as a sign of weakness, that I have no "balls of steel", as it were, but I hope you'd recognize it as a show of respect that I do not jump into anything with you and just eff everything up again.

I like making you smile, but despite knowing full well I've done right by you, what does strike me the most is that I've never made you feel giddy about me. I don't have that effect on you. Everyone else you gush about seems to have this magic spell over you that I can never quite capture, and it torments me so. I'm not an idiot. I realize I'm simply not the kind of guy you are looking for, but I'm hoping that in time, that could change.

I just want you to know that I respect you and am immensely fascinated by you, and there are very few people who are as strong-willed, assertive, and poised as you are. We may not be at the same stages in our lives, but I think we really could make a go at this if only I found the gumption after everything I've been through.

This respect is precisely why I feel that it is not in the cards for us in the near future, lest I make you feel that you are merely a substitute for love. You are not. You are special, and you deserve to be made to feel that. I was weighed, but I was found wanting. And now, I can only let this moment pass, and there is no greater pain than rejection.

Dear Divine,

I don't know if you'd ever want to have anything to do with me again, but it's unfair to ignore everything we've been through and pretend it was all a lie.

I know you're much happier now without me, but I just wanted you to know I'm not the same person you once knew all those years back, and thank God for that. You deserved far better than who I was back then.

Out of all those who cared for me, I know you loved me the longest, and arguably second only to one...

Dear Pomelo,

I'm sorry I ruined your fairy tale. I wasn't your knight in shining armor, and I didn't know how to accept that it was time to let you go.

In my life, I will always look to you as my favorite mistake. I loved you so much, yet I was too wrapped up in being into you to realize that there was so much we had to overcome before we truly could become together.

I was pushy, I was clingy, and I was madly in love with you. I hope your new one treats you right and would be as devoted to you as I was when we were still together.

If ever you find it in your heart to forgive me, I'll always be here to be a friend to you. I know few people on this planet know and understand you the way I do.

Dear Audacity,

The wounds are still fresh, but I know that while we had to end what we had, it was for our own good.

I never loved anyone as much as I love you, and for my own sake, unless it's the girl I'd be married to, I hope I never will again. I gave my heart, my soul, my everything, just to be worthy of your love, and I know that you loved me more than I could have ever hoped for.

Things didn't pan out for us as I hoped it would, but I'm grateful that you chose to end it on good terms, and still count me as your best friend, as well as leave the door open for us in the future.

While there are no guarantees of what the future holds for us, I know one thing for sure: you are my once in a lifetime. For that, I can never thank you enough.

You are the best friend I ever had, bar none. I can't tell you enough how each day with you felt like a dream come true, and how each day without you now is such an ordeal that I must go through. You can boast of only one person like that in your life, more often than not, if at all. I should be so lucky that I could be proud of someone like you.

If I don't end up in you, I'd always look to you as the one that got away. And to whomever I would love in the future, if I do ever love again in the future, I hope that if you see this letter, you'd understand that and respect that.

I Gotta Go My Own Way... Lyrically Speaking Scribbles, Part XIII

.:Lyrically Speaking Scribbles, Part XIII:.

Yes, I modified the lyrics. Some of them just don’t fit. But I love the song too much to not use it.

I’ve had this on my plate for the past week or two. Even if some of the thoughts are a bit dated, I know the song still hits home and rings true to me.

Even if we’re not together anymore, she’s still My Beloved. I may learn to love again in the future, I may see other people, but I can never call another woman “My Beloved” again.

I will take nothing but good memories from what we had, and her friendship as well. It’s going to be difficult and the transition so far has had its own twists and turns, but this is for the best.

I Gotta Go My Own Way
by Vanessa Ann Hudgens and Zach Efron

I gotta say what's on my mind
Something about us
Doesn't seem right these days...

I can’t help but feel that there’s so many things going on in our lives right now, and we aren’t being the best that we can be for each other. With each passing day, things have been going crazy, and that month away from you just made you think that this really won’t work.

Life keeps getting in the way
Whenever we try, somehow the plan
Is always rearranged…

It’s hard to cope with the things that have been eating at what we had. I know it won’t be too long before you have to go away and forge your own path elsewhere, and everything I’ve built here would be put into jeopardy if we had to keep this up. In spite of that, I would’ve wagered it all if you only asked me.

But you care too much. You love me too much. So you never will.

It's so hard to say
But we've gotta do what's best for us
We'll be okay…

If it were up to me, I’d never want this to end. But clearly, it’s not up to me. There’re so many things that we have to work out, and much as we want each other, we’re still not right for each other. You’ve shown me this much. I’m not doing right by you, knowing full well that you could be so much happier if I did things the right way.

This is bigger than the both of us. That much I am realizing now.

I've got to move on and be who I am
The time isn’t right, dear
I know you understand…

I’m trying to understand why it has to be this way. If we’re so happy with each other, why can’t we stay together? Yet as the days go by, I realize why…

All those fluffy things you hear about love? Utter hogwash. Love doesn’t conquer all. It’s only as potent as the circumstances governing it.

We might find our place in this
World someday
But at least for now
I gotta go my own way…

I will never want to hold you back from the path you choose. But then, that means that we can’t be together now. The door may be open, but I have to get that idea out of my head and heart, lest I never function normally.

I’m thankful you aren’t making this difficult on the both of us. Yet sometimes, I wonder how much easier it was when I just ended on bad terms with someone, because once you’re with someone else, you can just write off the ex with ease.

Now? That’s not quite the way it is… it’s bittersweet, but a reality we both face.

Moving on doesn’t mean leaving each other behind.

Don't wanna leave it all behind
But I get my hopes up
And I watch them fall everytime…

We keep on screwing things up because the circumstances just aren’t right for us. Your parents would never approve of us while we’re both here, and I’m still in the middle of a lot of crazy stuff going on in my life. There’s so much getting in the way, and we both end up disappointing ourselves when things don’t go our way.

What good am I here if I’m not making you happy?

Another colour turns to grey
And it's just too hard to watch it all
Slowly fade away…

You said it best, My Beloved… we shouldn’t have to wait to hate each other, for the water to run dry, before we do this.

We still have so much to offer each other by being still a part of each other’s lives despite not being together anymore.

I'm leaving today 'cause I've
Gotta do what's best for us
We'll be okay…

I know we’ll be okay. I believe it.

What about us?
What about everything we've been through?

I ask myself that sometimes, whenever I ask why this had to end. But I guess that’s why we have to end this. Because I know I don’t want to risk trivializing everything we’ve been through in trying to fight city hall when it’s not our time.

What about trust?
You know I never wanted to hurt you…

I never wanted to hurt you. I know you never wanted to hurt me, either. But there’s just really never a right time to say goodbye…

And what about me?
What am I supposed to do?
I gotta leave but I'll miss us
I'll miss us…

There’re too many questions for the both of us to have to face. But I guess the good news is we don’t have to face them on our own any longer. Not now. Not ever.

So…
I've got to move on and be who I am
(Why do you have to go?)

I’m twisted because one side of me’s telling me that I need to move on. But on the other side I want to break down and cry. This is not easy. This is never easy. But it is my hope that in writing this, in getting this out to the world, we can show them that you and I could love with all my heart, and though it didn’t work out how we wanted it to, we can still make something good out of it.

We just don't belong here
I hope you understand
(I'm trying to understand…)

I can’t pretend this is making me happy. You know it’s not. But I’m hopeful that this will be, at the end of the day, something that will make us better people.

I can’t help but keep thinking… we had the right love at the wrong time.

We might find our place in this world someday
But at least for now
(I want you to stay…)

There’s just so much going on right now, and I’m glad we’re past pointing fingers at each other. We gave it our all. We did everything we could. In the end, what keeps us apart is simply bigger than us.

I wanna go my own way
I gotta go my own way
I gotta go my own way
I gotta go my own way…

I can’t think of anything more poignant to say, save that I still believe you are my once in a lifetime. I’m happy and grateful we were together for as long as we were, and the future may be uncertain, but I know we have done what is right for the both of us.

Thank you, and you know that I’m letting you go because I love you. I know that’s also why you are doing this…

The Most Influential...

.:Bringing Back Memories...:.

About a little over a year ago, I was part of a station that called itself "The Most Influential", owing to the label given to it by a particular newspaper for having been responsible for the overnight success of certain artists such as Dice and K9, Paolo Santos, and Jimmy Bondoc.

While my relationship with WAVE 89.1 has been rocky and has had its share of ups and downs, I understood fully well what made them as "influential" as their press touted, and few stations were capable of challenging that label.

That being said, I'd like to think that my eye for determining what is "influential", given the standards set on radio, would likewise serve me well as I focus this time on the influx of new blogs this year that, without a doubt, have been likewise influential in one way or another.

It's funny because most of these blogs are blogs that I actually frequently read, but never even realized were eligible for nomination, which explains why I put off doing this for so long...

Here are my votes/nominations for Ma'am Janette's Top 10 Emerging Influential Blogs 2008 Project, in no particular order...

Visit Sagada: Because You Really Should

Visit Sagada is one of those blogs that just makes you wonder what other gems the Philippines is hiding in the middle of all these crazy things we encounter in the metro. Looking at the people who put up pictures on the site, all looking like they genuinely enjoy themselves, makes you wish you were there as well.

If Sagada's tourism business picks up by the end of this year, you know how that happened.

Filipino Voices: Making Us Heard

Filipino Voices covers a lot of topics that concern us Filipinos, and anyone who misses out on it should give it a good look. There's little I can say to describe it other than that, truth be told, so just take the time out to see for yourself what I mean.

Manila Foodistas: Because Us Non-Food Blogger Gourmands Can Only Do This Vicariously

Manila Foodistas, with a roster including my good friend Tiff, shows gourmands like myself how good the food is all over the metro.

Instead of having to go through the trial and error of eating something new and regretting it later, this blog cuts through all that and shows you what's good and what's not.

I'm not a food blogger, but I love food. By extension, it's easy to see why I love Manila Foodistas.

Bariles Republic: Making General Santos The Place To Be

For a guy who's never been out of Luzon save for two trips to Hong Kong, you can tell why Bariles Republic would appeal to me. What with Nate Marx, a fellow mentalist, also residing there, I do hope to be in General Santos sometime this year.

Fritzified: From PAPArazzi To A-DIVA-Dacci

Fritzified is always a fun read, and is of course updated and maintained by the one and only Fritz Tentativa. If you haven't experienced his wit and photography skillz, then you're in for a treat.

Bloggers Kapihan: Let's Sit And Talk A While

Bloggers Kapihan takes the tough issues and turns it into a coffee table discussion. There's something to be said about being able to discuss the kind of things they do without the need of getting drunk, so I'm all for it. =)

Ready To Be Rich: Who Isn't?

Fitz Villafuerte shows you how easy it is to make money. All you have to do is pay attention.

The Not So Talented DJ Montano: Hell Hath No Fury!

Brian Gorell's Blog is a curious animal. It's the ultimate social experiment, and one that reflects both good and bad things about us.

It's good in that it shows that nobody is beyond criticism in the world of the internet.

It's bad in that we revel in the mudslinging we find in his posts.

Love him or hate him, Brian Gorell is definitely influential.

Bloggers Da Who: Are You There Yet?

With much joy, I can safely say I'm not in Bloggers Da Who. Yet.

It has a twofold effect on the blogosphere, so I noticed...

1: People can talk about these bits of gossip and have fun over it. For the most part, the fun can be quite harmless.

2: It keeps bloggers on their toes and is a nice deterrent against unwanted attention from being exposed for this or that thing.

Strange Fruit: Amoy Chico Na Ako

If I had to nominate just one blog, it would be this one.

Chico Garcia started blogging only last November, but thanks to his following in his daily morning radio show "The Morning Rush" with Delamar on RX 93.1, it was the easiest thing for him to acquire a rabid fanbase who await his every entry with eager anticipation.

As I myself am heavily involved in radio, I can personally attest to the sheer power Chico's blog has, and how many people just love hearing his thoughts about anything and everything. His very stream-of-consciousness writing style, and his friendly demeanor never fails to entertain the people who read his stuff, not to mention the fact that his recent foray into photography has made for more interesting content as well...

It also helps that he is one half of my favorite radio tandem of all time, and the one who personally trained me when I was still in Radio 1 way back in college. Chico's blog has influenced a lot of people, and I am one of those who are living testament to that.

And with that, I present to you my votes/nominations for this year. =)

Post Up In Magikel!

.:A Slight Shift Of Gears...:.

Check out my latest Magikel post where I explain why I have shifted gears from straight-up mentalism to a more hodgepodge style based on comedy and traditional magic.

It's barely scratching the surface, though. Feel free to ask me any questions if you want to know more. :)

I'm Sick!

Yet here I am in the booth, still doing the show with a sore throat!

Really, what the Hades?!?

Haters For The Sake Of Hatin'

.:Hatin' For The Sake Of Hatin':.

Over at the Campus 99.5 thread in Pinoy Exchange, the drama never stops.

First, we had the unenviable task of stemming a revolt by a certain group of listeners over nothing. It took them a while before they began to catch on that Campus was not marginalizing their group at all.

Then, we had to deal with the feud between this group and another small group in another station. In fact, the two competing shows guested each other just to show a united front and put a stop to it, but holdovers of the "war" is still there to this day...

And now, we have haters who miss the good ol' days when the station was still known as "Hit FM", and are pretty much of the belief that if it weren't for Campus, the station wouldn't have been reformatted. That's ridiculous, truth be told. Due to horrible sales (For whatever reason. I'm not privy to that.), Hit had to go. Campus wasn't the reason for it...

Doesn't really matter, at this point. All I know is that hatin' for the sake of hatin' is just so passe. Campus is doing pretty fine, and let's face it: when Boo Kyler of Max FM walks into your station to congratulate you for "kicking their @$$" in sales, you know you're really doing something right.

The haters can keep on insisting that this is all going to implode, but at the end of the day, they really don't know jack. They're just like those people trying to nitpick whatever they can about "The Dark Knight" just so they'd look cool bashing a movie that everyone likes.

.:My Thanks...:.

Dinner at Mang Jimmy's with MLQ3, Juned, and Arbet, as well as Plurker Bernard, was nothing short of fun. It was great talking about everything from neurolinguistic programming to the banana dance, and everything else in between.

We even had laughs at the expense of Mr. A, considering the "bacon scandal", among other things. Everyone loved the Tapa Mix, and we had our nightcap at Bo's Coffee. All in all, an excellent bonding session with these people...

I'm pleased as punch! What else can I say?

Plurk Has Taken Over My Life...

.:Gahhh!!!:.

So instead of blogging a lot, I'm Plurking a lot instead. It's like Twitter on crack, and is eating up more time than anything else I've been into.

Having said that, it's also been an opportunity for me to bond with a lot of people who are active in Plurk. People like Poytee, Fritz, Kring, and Diane are just a few of the people who never fail to make my day when I hear from them.

Having said that, there's so much stuff going on in my life lately, and I'm looking forward to find the time to go over them soon...

.:Good Times WithOUT Mo...:.

For the past week, Mo Twister wasn't part of the morning show of Magic 89.9, but that's just really beside the point.

The main point is it's been a while, but I've had the opportunity to bond once again with the two other hosts of the program, Mojo Jojo and Grace Lee. Mojo has been bugging me since forever to show him my baby pic, and he was mighty amused with how spiky my hair was then (and now) when I finally acquiesced to his request. I managed to bond with them, even when they were asking me whether I thought Grace Lee or Andi 9 was hotter, and why people think Grace Lee is intimidating.

Having said that, it was really fun talking to them, and they even mentioned me heavily on the air, with Grace Lee even bringing up that she met me during their coverage of my magic for "The Sweet Life". It was definitely a moment where I was beaming, although thankfully, they never referred to me by my current airname and limited themselves to calling me "Vader" or "Kel" only.

Those two guys are great. Mo's awesome, too, but I guess I've just spent a lot more time with Mojo and Grace so I have more love for those two guys. With Logan moving to the evening again after having quite the run in the mornings for Max, I guess there's only Good Times, Brand New Day, and of course, the Morning Rush to occupy my attention in the mornings...

.:Playing Love Doctor...:.

I hope that this friend of mine manages to get over her recent nasty run-in with somebody else. I think she should just let herself rest easy for now...

I've been there, done that. She really should take a cue for me, and just walk on by.

.:Time With My Beloved...:.

Old habits die hard, and I still call her My Beloved, probably because she remains to be special in my heart...

We watched Kung-Fu Panda recently, and I must say, I loved the movie. She didn't find it as awesome as I did, though. But she liked it enough, nonetheless.

I'm glad things have been going well for us, although the transition has been very awkward at the moment. I'd rather have it this way than not have her in my life...