Project 52 (52/52): On The Year That Was (And Why I Hope For The Best In 2013)

.:Project 52 (52/52): On The Year That Was (And Why I Hope For The Best In 2013):.
So there I was, celebrating New Year's in Hong Kong last week, and I quickly realized that I was gonna miss out on writing this post to cap off my 2012. That's fine, really. I don't mind.

I. Am. Racoon. Man!

It was great, being in Hong Kong. Managed to really think about a whole slew of different things, and I must say that Ocean Park was still better than Disneyland, in my book. This is despite the fact that I completely missed out on riding the Abyss, but whatever. I'm just glad I managed to get in some time with the Hair Raiser, and I now know why they used to have Disneyland cast members screening souvenir photos on Space/Splash Mountain for flashers.

I'd do a day-by-day account, but I must admit that my time in Hong Kong wasn't terribly exciting. Some Toys R Us here, some Disney there, some Ocean Park on the last day, and even an adventure in Shakey's Hong Kong, which wa nothing t all like Shakey's in Manila. The pizzas were both pricier, and ultimately, despite the presence of portobello mushrooms, inferior to our local fare. Morton's was awesome, and I even tried to search for Peking duck along Peking Road to no avail. Overall, mundane stuff, and most of my highlights involved figuring out various ways to get in touch with My Beloved throughout my stay. We even did the New Year's countdown together!

If anything, my Christmas party with the RH Bill Advocates the night before I left for Hong Kong was probably more eventful, since I won the "manliest RH advocate" contest that night, which Beloved was very quick to dismiss as not authoritative whatsoever.

Blasphemy! How can I be anything but manly?!?

It was great finally meeting the likes of @mrsunlawyer nd @tetalimcangco, but of course, m achie ill probably remember best the riot we had as @supsup010 ade it a highlight that the anti-RH person on Twitter called me a "baklang virgin na abortionista," an assertion which seemed a bit ludicrous because a gay virgin would probably be the last person to want or need an abortion.

I wish I had more pictures of that event, but unfortunately, I have to make do with what I have for now.

It's been a great year, really. Better than the last, in my opinion, from January all the way to December. If I could try to recall the highlights I had each month, it would go...

January: he CJ Corona trial, which I had very strong opinions on. I was mostly focused on work, as I had a very important quarter in Nuffnang that could make or break my career there.

February: went on a Binondo food tour with a couple of friends, and spent some time making new friends in CamSur, where I tried my hand at wakeboarding. This was also the month that Maan, a friend of mine from my Campus 99.5 days, tragically passed away. As usual, my February 14 sucked. This might have been when I started doing that Street Fighter thing during Fridays.

March: falling out with several people, including someone whom I didn't expect would figure in my life again sometime the same year, only to leave it abruptly all over again. It was also at this point that I started waxing poetic about Neko-Chan. I had high hopes then, I guess. I got to see Battalia Royale and the Hunger Games this month, so it was pretty fun in the entertainment department.

April: officially left Nuffnang, ending three years with the company with my head held up high, knowing I had wider horizons awaiting me. The whole Alakim episode kinda soured me on being a magician/mentalist for a while, so I really let my performances as one fade to the background as I did standup more for the Cartel and Mike Unson.

May: I found myself joining ID8, where I felt I thrived and still do, although there's still so much room to make even more of an impact. It was a good time for me, career-wise, although I did miss Nuffnang a bit, especially... well, I'll shut up now. And, oh, I spoke for iBlog on Comedy Blogging, marking one of my best talks ever. And yeah, did something stupid that was (but should not have been) work-related. That gaffe still haunts me to this day.

June: Cleo left 99.5 RT, and the beginning of the end was in sight for the station. I was doing a lot of stuff for work, which led me to meet Jinri Park, admittedly, one of the few celebrity crushes I have. I hosted ToyCon, so yes, that gave me an infamous opportunity to get a line in on one of my closest cosplayer friends, Telly. And yes, I went viral this month.

This never gets old.

July: Went viral again, thanks to #fap2012 and the KFC Cheese Top Burger, although the latter gained steam since June. Lulz were had. I really got into SPIT at this point, especially after their international festival. Working in Makati made it easy for me to attend shows in Quantum with regularity, so I even ended up being a rookie performer one time for them, and the improv bug officially bit me. Also, Dolphy passed away. Which sucked, totally. Also, moved to Makati during weekdays. Or was it June? I forget. Probably June, though.

August: Tito Sotto and plagiarism over the RH Bill, OPM is dead. We were rife with very amazing discussions all around, and I was getting very testy on social media. I think this was the first time I noticed how very selective I now am with blogging, which kinda explains the paltry 123 posts I had in 2012 as opposed to previous years, but the countless Tweets I made in exchange. That Anna Banana thing struck a chord with me, really. And I think this was when Gangnam Style started to gain steam everywhere. 8List was born, at least via Facebook page, so the craziness ensued.

September: Had a horrible falling out with another friend, and this is made worse how much she reminds me of someone else. Butch Maniego passed away. A cosplay trademark thing. I got "married" via booth to Telly. LOL. I assembled a TV stand! Wow! More importantly, I resolved to at least try and make my birthday this year better, and I did that by attempting to patch up rifts I've had. One particular rift was fixed, and it turned out for the better as we started communicating again, at least at the time. I thought we were making headway, and at least, the friendship seemed great, because I saw a certain level of maturity that I never encountered this often before.

The real highlight of September, though, was when in the middle of hosting BOA, suddenly, My Beloved got in touch with me. I was shocked and it really caught me off-guard. Two and a half years since my world was shattered, it turns out it's her turn to feel that way, and through it all, I realized that my feelings for her barely changed, except in terms of intensity. I was still crazy about her. I still am, and I still hope we could work through all the obstacles facing us. And yes, this meant I started hitting the gym, too.

October: I celebrated my tenth year as a blogger! It was pretty fun, although the celebration was kinda marred because of the end of the Disenchanted Kingdom. It was pretty sad when that happened, but at least, I managed to have a breakout article on the Cybercrime Law, which eventually got hit with a TRO by the Supreme Court. Unfortunately for me, the friendship I mended a month before blew up in my face all over again, and all I know is I wish we could have sit down and talked about it before anything rash had to happen. It was such a waste, because I honestly believe we had something good going for us. To be honest, I'm still miserable about it. I wish we could patch things up someday, but even our common friends don't think it's a good idea.

Also, this was when I first met My Beloved in years.

November: #AMALAYER happened, and I was so busy this month. I spent probably 40% of my time on work, 40% on My Beloved, and 20% on everything else. That was pretty much how my life has been since November, and let me tell you that for the most part, I have no complaints about that. November 1, something happened I didn't expect to ever happen. Something, obviously powerful and moving to me. LOL. Logan jumped aboard to WAVE 891 where I quickly followed him as a regular guest.

December: Hong Kong, Christmas parties, everything was a blur in December. All I know is that from November onwards, since My Beloved was in town, all I could think of was her. It's a bit crazy how short my account is when it comes to November and December, but all I can say is that I've been happy to have her back in my life, and the details are sparse because they're replete with hours upon hours of conversations and insights with her. When you connect with a person on that level, it kind of feels strange to share all of that with everyone else, as they'd probably be lost.

And that's 2012 to me in a nutshell. Pretty crazy, huh? Ultimately, here's hoping 2013 is even better, and may love finally find me once again.  

My fervent hope.

The 10th Anniversary Retrospective: 2011

.:The 10th Anniversary Retrospective: 2011:.

Yeah, I think this was a better year than 2009 and 2010 combined...

Hmm... 2011. A perfectly good mix of a year, in all honesty. It wasn't overtly amazing (Except for the part where I met Kim Chiuuuuuuu!!!), and there were some clunkers along the way, too, and yeah, losing several friends along the way also proved to not exactly be a great experience, for that matter. Despite that, I think 2011 was a turning point for me because that was when I began to learn how to live my life without My Beloved, assuming that I was never going to see her again.

It was the year where I tried to finally open myself up for life beyond her, but the mistaken notion was that a life beyond her needed someone else to fill the void. Maybe that's where I was wrong: because the attempts I had to fill in that void were pretty regrettable looking back, to say the least. There were very few bright spots, and no, a pretend-relationship via mostly Facebook with Lovey Dovey probably wasn't one of them, nor was the mistake I made sometime October. 

Project 52 in 2011 was all about music. I had a song of the week, reflecting my regular lyrics posts in 2003 or so. This time, I managed to put more impact in doing those music-related posts simply because I had to justify why I was sharing each song in question. This is also why I ended up performing for the Itchyworms several times, including their 15th anniversary show, which has to be one of the biggest highlights of my year as a performer.

The amazing thing, though, is, after January, after CamSur, I discovered that making mistakes isn't such a bad thing anymore. I found out that I had the capability of walking away from mistakes now, and I wasn't going to stick by a mistake until it hurt so much that it was doing far more harm than good to me. I opened and capped off my year with Philo-Sophie, and I realized at that point that I was just being used, much in the same way I allowed myself to be used in 2009 by various people.

2011 was a turning point because I learned better than to let anything bad happening to me stain me permanently. It was when I started seeing how I could turn any lemons my way into lemonade. I also started contributing to Filipino Freethinkers this year.

The low points of 2011 came when Sugarfree disbanded, and AJ Matela passed. And probably the horrible April Fool's day joke bloggers received. The less said about that, the better.

Geekfighting, OGM, these things became part of my life this year all the same. I started opening for Mike Unson, culminating in me being part of Rex Navarette's November show in The Fort. Overall, I was trying so many different things to fill in the void, as I attended the weddings of one of my closest friends, as well as someone I almost got involved with romantically. This is why my first blogpost of the year is also probably the one I'm most proud of having written in 2011: the wedding proposal for no one. And yes, it doesn't matter if in 2012, the first thing I did was contradict myself. When I wrote that post back then, it was really something so true and heartfelt.

Winning a second time in the Philippine Blog Awards wasn't too shabby, either. I must say: 2011 really had a lot of good moments, and it all started when I realized that no matter how much my past still matters to me, I can walk away from it all. 

The sweetest or creepiest gesture I ever received in my life. Let's go with creepy.

And really, that's all there is to it: nine years of blogging in 2011, and I finally learned perhaps the most important lesson of my life: I am resilient. And sometimes, though something may mean the world to me, I need to turn my back on it because what good is holding on to a world going down in flames?

The 10th Anniversary Retrospective: 2010

.:The 10th Anniversary Retrospective: 2010:.

Ah, 2010. The year I decided to try and do a full-scale Project 365, and succeeded at it. Somewhat. It wasn't easy, really, especially since I was coping with so much during this year, and I had to bury myself in work just to stay alive. One guess why.

Foreshadowing!

It was mortifying, really, but February 14, 2010 remains to be easily the worst day of my life. I even remembering writing this because the pain was just so palpable and I couldn't contain it. For nearly an entire year, I did nothing but cry myself to sleep. Hades, just remembering the pain I went through makes me misty-eyed all over again, and not in a good way.

It was an ordeal, and I still twitch whenever I remember what I went through, especially looking at the present, where we find out exactly what I made that sacrifice for. What a joke, really. What a load of crock, after everything has been said and done.

I hated 2009, but going over 2010, I didn't expect to discover that I may actually just happen to hate it even more.

Especially when you consider that instead of graduating, I ended up being suspended for a year from my Masters in what has got to be one of the most disgusting displays of gross negligence of due process.

Especially when you consider that this was the year that my grandfather passed. I was blogging up a storm in a reversal of what I went through in 2006. I was doing it to pretend that the pain wasn't there. I was doing it so I could drown myself out from having enough moments where I can sit down and recognize that my life was miserable.

You know, overall, I think I can only be grateful that on this year, I got to know Denise. She's an awesome person, and if you knew her, you would agree with me. Totally.

Well, damn. This was exceptionally short, and mercifully so. Ending the year by meeting Philo-Sophie wasn't exactly pleasant to remember, either...

Whut?

.:Over A Year Ago, And Yet...:.

In 2010, I wrote this comedy article about Demi Lovato and her rehab, as I speculated about what the circumstances behind it might have been.

To this day, I get about one to two comments a week that I just reject, addressing my article as if it were serious, calling me a liar, among other things.

I'm sorry, but I find all of this pretty funny. What part of "comedy, satire, snark" in the tags made them think the post was even remotely serious?

.:There Goes That...:.

When LeBron James won his first ever championship after nine seasons in the NBA, I felt a bit bad about the fact that I couldn't use my LeBron jokes anymore, and I didn't have the heart to use the same jokes on Kevin Durant because I actually like the dude.

It's interesting, though. I mean, where does LBJ go from here, though? Will it be possible for the Heat to establish a dynasty, or was this just a period in flux before the next batch of superstars wrestle dominance away from the Heat before it can even truly assert itself?

Sure, I'm definitely a LeBron hater. I won't deny it. Despite that, it's an interesting mental exercise to see where he's going.

I especially want to know how Erik Spoelstra, for that matter, is feeling about the fact that he seems to be the only Pinoy making waves internationally who doesn't have Pinoys wanting to sing his praises to the highest heavens. Poor guy.

.:I Don't Understand...:.

Why people take you for granted and just take everything they can get from you, only to push you away the minute they find it convenient to do so.

I thought highly of you. I really did. Sadly, I find myself just absolutely disappointed instead. I wish I understood. I wish you just sat me down and talked to me, and made me see why you're doing this to me.

I really don't get it. I wish I did. Unfortunately, I find myself devastated because even when you shouldn't, you matter to me. Way too much.

All I know is, even if you wouldn't believe me, I gave you my all.

This Is The Story Of A Hopeless Romantic...

.:This Is The Story Of A Hopeless Romantic..:.

For years, he hid away his feelings for her. Everyone knew why, but they never quite thought how deep those feelings were. It seemed just like a passing schoolboy crush. Something that someone could easily forget at a moment's notice, because it's just that insignificant. Something fleeting and shallow, even.

And then things changed, and now, he no longer had any reason to hide his love away.

Will she ever see him as anything more than a friend? Will he ever prove himself worthy of a chance to be loved? Only time can tell.

So the story goes that she went away for a while, and after a few days, she was going back. He wanted to welcome her, but he had no idea what to do. Maybe drop by her after work? Maybe have something delivered? It was all on short notice, and he had only a few hours to make up his mind what to do. Everything just happened so fast.

So after a long day of working hard and, surprisingly, partying harder, he lay awake in bed, thinking of nothing but her. True, he had but a few hours to go before he had to go back to the daily grind, but thoughts of her comforted him.

He hasn't seen her in a while. "Out of sight, out of mind," some may say, but instead, her absence in his life made his heart grow fonder.

Three hours of sleep was all he had, if you could even call that sleep. He woke up, still clueless how to make her feel special. To make her feel cherished. To make her feel loved. Then it hit him.

At the earliest chance, he got out, and looked for the perfect thing to give to a woman who has everything.

He walked into the door. She wasn't there yet, and that was the plan. They've walked through this door for years, but now, he recognizes all too well that it isn't the same anymore. And that's precisely why he's no longer afraid. He's no longer afraid to show her what everybody knows.

With very little fanfare, and amid good-natured ribbing from everyone else witness to this, he leaves the simplest of messages to her, and went on his own way. He had less than an hour to get to work, but you know what? It's worth it. Because she's worth it.

Everybody knows that she is cherished. Everybody knows that she is special. And truly, everybody knows that she is loved.

What else could a man hope to give to a woman who has everything, after all?

It's such a brief love story, true. But that's because for now, the rest is still unwritten.

The simplest of messages can also be the most profound.