.:Dear Past Week...:.
... thank you.
I think you have been a week of catharsis, so I'm grateful you came along. Thanks for forcing me on my feet because I didn't have the strength to walk away on my own. And for giving me the sheer bull-headedness I needed to get things done in many aspects of my life because I realized I needed to go big or go home at this point.
I'm still a tad disappointed I had to lose a friend (And then some.) rather conclusively this week, but I think it's for the best, for the both of us. We owed it to ourselves to not let the sham continue, because it felt like an embarrassment for us to carry on in a sham of a "friendship" that was an insult to everything we shared before that. There is no blame to go around this time. It simply is what it is, and I understand that now, and can sleep soundly knowing that it's no longer anybody's fault. I hope she sees that, too.
And week, thanks for letting me know that fewer things are more therapeutic than walking a dog around Eastwood at night, even if it wasn't actually my dog. Interesting conversation and interaction with a newfound friend was certainly welcome, but I have to admit, the resemblance is a wee bit uncanny. Still, I guess I really should get myself a dog, soon.
This past week, I was stressed, I was down and out, I was really feeling the crunch. I'm just grateful the universe decided to throw me a bone, because on the work front, I told myself that if I didn't close anything this week, I would heavily consider tendering already before the axe comes swooping down on my head. It looks like I can hold off on doing that for now.
So for now, I guess I can hold off on the vitriol and bask in the fruits of a job well done, even if the results are a bit too slow in springing forth.
Thank you, universe. I get to keep my head for a while longer.
That being said, while my head is still decidedly on straight, let me signpost that these are some topics I intend to discuss soon, be it on this blog, the POC, or the Filipino Freethinkers, whenever and wherever appropriate:
1. This awesome old dude, and how gay marriage, while still far from a topic for discussion in firmly Catholic Taliban Philippines, will crop up sooner than later.
2. This article from a guest contributor on Forbes. Now, admittedly, both things are old news to people more up to date than I, but they are good touchpoints for me to discuss very real issues about progressive thinking. This will probably go a long way into discussing the concept of an online safe space.
3. Some post about Single Awareness Day. That will probably be bitter and passive-aggressive again.
4. Some stuff about local showbiz.
5. About the Top 10 book.
Quite a backlog, but I know I can pull it off.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Tuesday, February 07, 2012
Project 52 (6/52): On The (Inordinate) Focus On The President’s Lovelife
.:Project 52 (6/52): On The (Inordinate) Focus On The President’s Lovelife:.
Now, most people who know me also know that when it comes to the current administration, I have consistently been underwhelmed by what the president has been doing. I don’t really hate the guy per se, but I just find that his work ethic is sorely lacking, especially since his predecessor left a rather hefty mess that needs to be cleaned up, and it’s pretty obvious P Noy isn’t quite up to the job on his own. That’s fine. I doubt anyone is, which is why he needs to surround himself with people who can handle things just as well, or preferably, better than he does.
I’ve really been ambivalent about P Noy at the best, mainly because he wasn’t exactly my guy during the elections, and I wasn’t too swayed by his “Daang Matuwid” rhetoric. I think I am not being harsh when I point out that our current president is simply not a man with a plan, and he’s far more of a figurehead being surrounded by people whom we can only hope are competent enough not to run this country down into the ground even more than it already is.
So yeah, my expectations are astronomically low when it comes to our current president. I think I’ve already decided I’m not willing to set myself up for disappointment, or buy into his faux Messianic Complex lest I end up just drinking the Kool-Aid for no good reason. I’m not a P Noy fan. Never was, never will be.
And yet, despite my low expectations, despite the massive berth I afford the man, he still manages to find a way to disappoint me. Not that he should care what my opinion about him happens to be, mind you, but I’m mostly just astounded at this uncanny talent of his.
Surely, it isn’t such a difficult job to be mostly a figurehead with some executive functions thrown into the pot. You can do your goodwill things like helping out victims of natural disasters, maybe even get away with a bit of personal vendetta by trying to remove a Chief Justice from power for being a thorn in your side, not to mention, seemingly guilty of impeachable offenses, to begin with. You’d just rely on your advisers, and if you know how to pick ‘em, they won’t show up to work drunk, troll the press, or get caught buying pirated DVD’s in their spare time. I mean, these aren’t walks in the park, really, but it doesn’t take a hardworking Senator, who happened to be the son of a former president, who was the wife of a career politician, whose death sparked a revolution to pull it off, right? I mean, obviously. It’s not like he’s hardworking.
But that’s just conjecture. How hard he works as a president, I may never know. What I do know, unfortunately, is how hard he works on his lovelife. Just ask Grace Lee.
Who’s guilty of yellow fever here again?
Now, most people who know me also know that when it comes to the current administration, I have consistently been underwhelmed by what the president has been doing. I don’t really hate the guy per se, but I just find that his work ethic is sorely lacking, especially since his predecessor left a rather hefty mess that needs to be cleaned up, and it’s pretty obvious P Noy isn’t quite up to the job on his own. That’s fine. I doubt anyone is, which is why he needs to surround himself with people who can handle things just as well, or preferably, better than he does.
I’ve really been ambivalent about P Noy at the best, mainly because he wasn’t exactly my guy during the elections, and I wasn’t too swayed by his “Daang Matuwid” rhetoric. I think I am not being harsh when I point out that our current president is simply not a man with a plan, and he’s far more of a figurehead being surrounded by people whom we can only hope are competent enough not to run this country down into the ground even more than it already is.
So yeah, my expectations are astronomically low when it comes to our current president. I think I’ve already decided I’m not willing to set myself up for disappointment, or buy into his faux Messianic Complex lest I end up just drinking the Kool-Aid for no good reason. I’m not a P Noy fan. Never was, never will be.
And yet, despite my low expectations, despite the massive berth I afford the man, he still manages to find a way to disappoint me. Not that he should care what my opinion about him happens to be, mind you, but I’m mostly just astounded at this uncanny talent of his.
Surely, it isn’t such a difficult job to be mostly a figurehead with some executive functions thrown into the pot. You can do your goodwill things like helping out victims of natural disasters, maybe even get away with a bit of personal vendetta by trying to remove a Chief Justice from power for being a thorn in your side, not to mention, seemingly guilty of impeachable offenses, to begin with. You’d just rely on your advisers, and if you know how to pick ‘em, they won’t show up to work drunk, troll the press, or get caught buying pirated DVD’s in their spare time. I mean, these aren’t walks in the park, really, but it doesn’t take a hardworking Senator, who happened to be the son of a former president, who was the wife of a career politician, whose death sparked a revolution to pull it off, right? I mean, obviously. It’s not like he’s hardworking.
But that’s just conjecture. How hard he works as a president, I may never know. What I do know, unfortunately, is how hard he works on his lovelife. Just ask Grace Lee.
Who’s guilty of yellow fever here again?
Now, I’ve had the pleasure of knowing and admiring this lovely Korean lass for a few years already. She’s brilliant, well-spoken, and in general, one of the sweetest people I’ve ever known. When the Disenchanted Kingdom was still a morning show, I would see her often enough, and hey, she was always a bright ball of sunshine. To this day, she still is awesome. I can’t say I would blame our president for being particularly enamored by her, either.
But all pipe dreams of wooing Grace Lee for myself aside, I just can’t help but feel that this inordinate amount of effort going into P Noy’s lovelife, both from Noynoy himself and from the rabid press trying to cover it, directly detracts from issues that need to be addressed first. Yes, it’s opportunity cost, but what a high price we’re paying.
I know it’s a funnier story to tell if I pretended to be a jilted admirer of Grace Lee, fuming over the fact that I lost out to the president of the Philippines, but I find myself incapable of making that joke right now, especially since I have nothing but the utmost respect for Ms. Grace Lee. Ultimately, I just feel that the emphasis on P Noy’s lovelife, and the apparent amount of effort he puts into it, is just way more than the apparent effort he puts into doing the job he was elected to actually do.
Personally, I think we’re just barely lucky that P Noy is surrounded by a few competent, even honourable people, like Ruffy Biazon or TG Guingona. Because seriously, if we were to evaluate just Noynoy on his own? He’d be a heaping pile of failure, in my opinion.
But really, that’s just me. I know it sounds like an entitlement complex and what not for me to want the president to focus on matters of the state first before bothering with matters of the heart, but what do i know, right? That’s what a boss would do, and I distinctly remember him telling me I happen to be one of his bosses...
But all pipe dreams of wooing Grace Lee for myself aside, I just can’t help but feel that this inordinate amount of effort going into P Noy’s lovelife, both from Noynoy himself and from the rabid press trying to cover it, directly detracts from issues that need to be addressed first. Yes, it’s opportunity cost, but what a high price we’re paying.
I know it’s a funnier story to tell if I pretended to be a jilted admirer of Grace Lee, fuming over the fact that I lost out to the president of the Philippines, but I find myself incapable of making that joke right now, especially since I have nothing but the utmost respect for Ms. Grace Lee. Ultimately, I just feel that the emphasis on P Noy’s lovelife, and the apparent amount of effort he puts into it, is just way more than the apparent effort he puts into doing the job he was elected to actually do.
Personally, I think we’re just barely lucky that P Noy is surrounded by a few competent, even honourable people, like Ruffy Biazon or TG Guingona. Because seriously, if we were to evaluate just Noynoy on his own? He’d be a heaping pile of failure, in my opinion.
But really, that’s just me. I know it sounds like an entitlement complex and what not for me to want the president to focus on matters of the state first before bothering with matters of the heart, but what do i know, right? That’s what a boss would do, and I distinctly remember him telling me I happen to be one of his bosses...
Friday, February 03, 2012
Project 52 (5/52): On Not Having Said Enough (Before It Was Too Late)
.:Project 52 (5/52): On Not Having Said Enough (Before It Was Too Late):.
There are some awesome people in our lives that we couldn't help but take for granted, regardless. Maybe they're always there. Maybe they're just that reliable. Maybe you think they'd last forever, or at least pretty damned close to it.
And then you realize there's no predicting these things, and you're forced to rethink how you deal with other people.
Guilt? Perhaps. But beyond that, we realize that while much has been said, it still is far from enough. I should know. I will live the rest of my life with that regret, despite all my efforts at living in a way that would avoid that.
Two years ago, when my grandfather passed, I realized how grateful I was that I go to tell him how much I loved him and how much he meant to him well before his time came. A year ago, when a very good blogger friend of ours passed, I was happy that at least, we spent enough time with each other to show him how appreciated he always was and will be.
This time, I didn't get that chance, and I couldn't help but feel bad about it.
If I wrote this as a letter to her, it would no doubt be part of the Unsent series simply because there's no way I could send it to her now. She was always so full of life, and I don't mean that as a generic thing to say about her: this was really how she was. Everything she did was filled with a zest for life, and the way she just went nuts over magic in general, or over this song she liked, you knew she opened her eyes to wonder because she never let this cynical world get to her.
It was great, and even if we were closer in 2008 than we were in years since then, that didn't matter because I took it for granted that she would always be there, because she was blazing her own trail like no other, and who was I to slow her down? Though we grew apart, I always held her in high regard because I recognized full well that not everyone could always just stay ever so close for no apparent reason.
But I was wrong. As I ended up hearing the chilling news of her passing, I was simply filled with disbelief. I may not have spent all the time in the world with her, but I had vivid memories of her, including that infamous night where we hosted and got stiffed by our “boss” for our efforts, braving traffic and distance just to do our thing in Alabang. Needless to say, I think after that, we had a newfound respect for each other. The time I levitated at the MRT station, I also remember how she went nuts and moved heaven and earth just to find out how I did it.
That's how she was: she was inquisitive, she was funny, she was bubbly, she was smart. She had everything, and I mean everything, going for her. But she had to go. And she went far, far too soon. If God is a DJ, I guess He wanted more people to jam with.
This post is for her, though it's too late for me to remind her how great a friend she was, and how I admired her tenacity in achieving everything she wanted. She was already a success at twenty-five years of age, and there was no doubt she was well on her way to more.
I just regret never having been able to say “thank you.” I regret it, and now, I look at every person I feel I ought to thank a bit more warily, because I don't want to have this kind of regret again. A breakup? Fine. A fight with a friend? Fine. But something this final, this permanent? It's something else, and I don't want anyone who has ever meant anything to me to ever go on without knowing how much I appreciate them.
My time with her may have been short, but the memories will last me a lifetime. Thank you, Maan. You were a wonderful human being, and we will miss you.
Maan Panganiban: 1986-2012
Thank you for the music in our hearts.
There are some awesome people in our lives that we couldn't help but take for granted, regardless. Maybe they're always there. Maybe they're just that reliable. Maybe you think they'd last forever, or at least pretty damned close to it.
And then you realize there's no predicting these things, and you're forced to rethink how you deal with other people.
Guilt? Perhaps. But beyond that, we realize that while much has been said, it still is far from enough. I should know. I will live the rest of my life with that regret, despite all my efforts at living in a way that would avoid that.
Two years ago, when my grandfather passed, I realized how grateful I was that I go to tell him how much I loved him and how much he meant to him well before his time came. A year ago, when a very good blogger friend of ours passed, I was happy that at least, we spent enough time with each other to show him how appreciated he always was and will be.
This time, I didn't get that chance, and I couldn't help but feel bad about it.
If I wrote this as a letter to her, it would no doubt be part of the Unsent series simply because there's no way I could send it to her now. She was always so full of life, and I don't mean that as a generic thing to say about her: this was really how she was. Everything she did was filled with a zest for life, and the way she just went nuts over magic in general, or over this song she liked, you knew she opened her eyes to wonder because she never let this cynical world get to her.
It was great, and even if we were closer in 2008 than we were in years since then, that didn't matter because I took it for granted that she would always be there, because she was blazing her own trail like no other, and who was I to slow her down? Though we grew apart, I always held her in high regard because I recognized full well that not everyone could always just stay ever so close for no apparent reason.
But I was wrong. As I ended up hearing the chilling news of her passing, I was simply filled with disbelief. I may not have spent all the time in the world with her, but I had vivid memories of her, including that infamous night where we hosted and got stiffed by our “boss” for our efforts, braving traffic and distance just to do our thing in Alabang. Needless to say, I think after that, we had a newfound respect for each other. The time I levitated at the MRT station, I also remember how she went nuts and moved heaven and earth just to find out how I did it.
That's how she was: she was inquisitive, she was funny, she was bubbly, she was smart. She had everything, and I mean everything, going for her. But she had to go. And she went far, far too soon. If God is a DJ, I guess He wanted more people to jam with.
This post is for her, though it's too late for me to remind her how great a friend she was, and how I admired her tenacity in achieving everything she wanted. She was already a success at twenty-five years of age, and there was no doubt she was well on her way to more.
I just regret never having been able to say “thank you.” I regret it, and now, I look at every person I feel I ought to thank a bit more warily, because I don't want to have this kind of regret again. A breakup? Fine. A fight with a friend? Fine. But something this final, this permanent? It's something else, and I don't want anyone who has ever meant anything to me to ever go on without knowing how much I appreciate them.
My time with her may have been short, but the memories will last me a lifetime. Thank you, Maan. You were a wonderful human being, and we will miss you.
Maan Panganiban: 1986-2012
Thank you for the music in our hearts.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Project 52 2012 (4/52): On Why Mush Is Icky (Unless It's Coming From You)
.:Project 52 2012 (4/52): On Why Mush Is Icky (Unless It's Coming From You):.
But, but... how is this icky?
Best game of "Alin ang naiba" ever? Or worst? You decide.
But, but... how is this icky?
Regardless of our own relationship status, fewer things cloy us and make us feel uncomfortable than seeing other couples all lovey-dovey and mushy-mushy right before our very eyes. It annoys more than a few of us, and you will always hear that omnipresent line, "get a room!" when the situation gets just a bit too awkward for everybody else to take.
For some odd reason, happy couples bring out the cynic in us, and this is whether or not we're part of a happy couple setup ourselves. For the most part, we can't seem to just find love on display cute or touching or sweet anymore.
Why is that?
It's not a mystery, when you think about it, but it does feel a bit strange that we only care about the mush when it's happening to us. Sure, we like seeing the Kimeralds and the Guy and Pips of our world have their moment in the sun, but if we don't find it vicarious enough, we don't just cease to regard it, we instead choose to revile it. Indifference rarely, if ever, seems to be a choice response to mushy couples, and instead, we just end up having very strong reactions either way.
Cases in point: Melason. Bieber-Gomez. Ashton-Demi.
For some odd reason, happy couples bring out the cynic in us, and this is whether or not we're part of a happy couple setup ourselves. For the most part, we can't seem to just find love on display cute or touching or sweet anymore.
Why is that?
It's not a mystery, when you think about it, but it does feel a bit strange that we only care about the mush when it's happening to us. Sure, we like seeing the Kimeralds and the Guy and Pips of our world have their moment in the sun, but if we don't find it vicarious enough, we don't just cease to regard it, we instead choose to revile it. Indifference rarely, if ever, seems to be a choice response to mushy couples, and instead, we just end up having very strong reactions either way.
Cases in point: Melason. Bieber-Gomez. Ashton-Demi.
Best game of "Alin ang naiba" ever? Or worst? You decide.
It's odd, really. And I say this as someone who has had more than his fair share of bitterness over seeing himself surrounded by happy couples all around. I feel a tad claustrophobic when that happens, yet at the same time, it's doubly cruel not just because you're reminded of what you don't have at this point, but also the fact that at some point, you did have precisely this. A vicious cycle of sorts, if you will.
I think that really, when it comes to love, we collectively need a little less cynicism to go around. And that advice definitely goes double for me. It's pretty easy to get all negative and all suspicious of every good thing in our life, but you know the hard part? Just shutting up, grinning, and enjoying the good things for once.
Try it. It might surprise you.
Try it. It might surprise you.
Monday, January 23, 2012
Just Another Magic Monday: Priorities, Priorities...
.:Priorities, Priorities...:.
... so.
There was a cosplay event over the weekend, and it coincided with Sachika's trip to CamSur. Thankfully, she'll be coming back this February, so I can prepare better, since she kinda informed me about her trip to CamSur a bit too late.
I ended up choosing the Otaku Con instead, since I wanted to meet up with one of my favorite cosplayer friends, Kristell. It was pretty funny when I was looking for her, because all Erving Go, cosplay photographer extraordinaire, gave me for advice, was to "follow the legion of fanboys tailing her." Lo and behold, this was a very accurate picture of what ended up happening anyways.
I also got introduced to her cousin, who was a pretty cool guy, all the same. I think there'd be some pictures of the whole thing later on, but for now, I'm in no rush to do any of that. I'm taking things easy at the moment, what with all the hurly-burly at work at the moment. I can't even do my essays properly at this point, but whatever, it's all good.
Anyways, I had a show for an old client recently, and it was one of the most amazing times I've ever had. You see, about four years ago, this client booked me and I just went nuts and tried a whole bunch of material as I was still at that point in my career where I was trying things left and right to see what worked for me.
Thing is, shortly after the show I did for that client, I did end up figuring out where to take my magic, comedy, and mentalism career, and I haven't looked back since. I managed to come up with a very good combination of routines for children and adults alike, but when I went to perform for this old client of mine, she told me she hoped for more mentalism, really.
At some point after the children's party, it occurred to her to invite me to their house and have a special show for the adults, which ended up being quite an experience for me, as I went there without my standard mentalism stuff. That's not really a problem, tbough, if you know how mentalists are, since we just ended up taking random stuff from the house that I proceeded to use for my act. Psychokinesis was fun, but you had, on top of that, remote viewing, classic card routines, standup comedy, and even a Q and A session. The Oracle act has got to flat-out be one of the best bits I've ever done in my mentalism career, least of all because it was the first time I ended a show with it.
After that performance, we just enjoyed our time with dinner and conversation and whatnot. It was quite an experience, to say the least, and I'm glad I managed to prove myself adequate to the task.
Pretty great long weekend I had, really. One of the best.
... so.
There was a cosplay event over the weekend, and it coincided with Sachika's trip to CamSur. Thankfully, she'll be coming back this February, so I can prepare better, since she kinda informed me about her trip to CamSur a bit too late.
I ended up choosing the Otaku Con instead, since I wanted to meet up with one of my favorite cosplayer friends, Kristell. It was pretty funny when I was looking for her, because all Erving Go, cosplay photographer extraordinaire, gave me for advice, was to "follow the legion of fanboys tailing her." Lo and behold, this was a very accurate picture of what ended up happening anyways.
I also got introduced to her cousin, who was a pretty cool guy, all the same. I think there'd be some pictures of the whole thing later on, but for now, I'm in no rush to do any of that. I'm taking things easy at the moment, what with all the hurly-burly at work at the moment. I can't even do my essays properly at this point, but whatever, it's all good.
Anyways, I had a show for an old client recently, and it was one of the most amazing times I've ever had. You see, about four years ago, this client booked me and I just went nuts and tried a whole bunch of material as I was still at that point in my career where I was trying things left and right to see what worked for me.
Thing is, shortly after the show I did for that client, I did end up figuring out where to take my magic, comedy, and mentalism career, and I haven't looked back since. I managed to come up with a very good combination of routines for children and adults alike, but when I went to perform for this old client of mine, she told me she hoped for more mentalism, really.
At some point after the children's party, it occurred to her to invite me to their house and have a special show for the adults, which ended up being quite an experience for me, as I went there without my standard mentalism stuff. That's not really a problem, tbough, if you know how mentalists are, since we just ended up taking random stuff from the house that I proceeded to use for my act. Psychokinesis was fun, but you had, on top of that, remote viewing, classic card routines, standup comedy, and even a Q and A session. The Oracle act has got to flat-out be one of the best bits I've ever done in my mentalism career, least of all because it was the first time I ended a show with it.
After that performance, we just enjoyed our time with dinner and conversation and whatnot. It was quite an experience, to say the least, and I'm glad I managed to prove myself adequate to the task.
Pretty great long weekend I had, really. One of the best.
Friday, January 20, 2012
SOPA, PIPA, Megaupload, Kodak, Coronoa...
.:... I'd Like To See How I'd String Them Together In One Train Of Thought:.
Crazy times, crazy times. Just now, there's a bit of an uproar going on at the moment over the closure of Megaupload, an act which was immediately responded to by Anonymous with great prejudice. To say that the government would use this latest hacker attack as an excuse to push for stronger web laws would be quite an understatement.
But see, my problem with all this internet hoopla isn't that I'm all for piracy and would like the internet to remain a wild, wild west. My issue with all this internet hoopla is, why is America dictating the internet to me? I may speak English, but I am far from an American citizen, and as such, am not covered by their laws unless I set foot upon their territorial soil, which, barring visits to the US Embassy, I have yet to ever bother doing.
My issue with SOPA and PIPA would certainly be about the vague nature of the law as it is written if I were a US Citizen. But I am not. Yet regardless, here I am, forced to react, because even if this law is drafted in the United States, it can and very well will affect me directly. That is an alarming level of powerful legislation right there, allowing the United States to just ignore sovereignty issues willy-nilly to simply do the bidding of executives who feel cheated out of losing millions from the billions they are earning. Which is fine, really, except for the fact that their methods are not only indiscriminate because insinuation is enough cause for action without due process, but it's also indiscriminate in that this gives America the power to act beyond its own territory, and, if it does come to pass, most everyone else, especially my own country, will just have to smile, grin, and bear it.
I mean, seriously. Are we fooling ourselves into thinking this country, which gets its choppers second-hand from former first gentlemen, can fight back against America?
Crazy times, crazy times. Just now, there's a bit of an uproar going on at the moment over the closure of Megaupload, an act which was immediately responded to by Anonymous with great prejudice. To say that the government would use this latest hacker attack as an excuse to push for stronger web laws would be quite an understatement.
But see, my problem with all this internet hoopla isn't that I'm all for piracy and would like the internet to remain a wild, wild west. My issue with all this internet hoopla is, why is America dictating the internet to me? I may speak English, but I am far from an American citizen, and as such, am not covered by their laws unless I set foot upon their territorial soil, which, barring visits to the US Embassy, I have yet to ever bother doing.
My issue with SOPA and PIPA would certainly be about the vague nature of the law as it is written if I were a US Citizen. But I am not. Yet regardless, here I am, forced to react, because even if this law is drafted in the United States, it can and very well will affect me directly. That is an alarming level of powerful legislation right there, allowing the United States to just ignore sovereignty issues willy-nilly to simply do the bidding of executives who feel cheated out of losing millions from the billions they are earning. Which is fine, really, except for the fact that their methods are not only indiscriminate because insinuation is enough cause for action without due process, but it's also indiscriminate in that this gives America the power to act beyond its own territory, and, if it does come to pass, most everyone else, especially my own country, will just have to smile, grin, and bear it.
I mean, seriously. Are we fooling ourselves into thinking this country, which gets its choppers second-hand from former first gentlemen, can fight back against America?
Thank you, America! May we please have another?
It's not happening, so before it becomes law, I feel compelled to fight it. It's good to know that Obama himself isn't for it, either, but y'know, something's got to give.
Here in the Philippines, piracy still remains rampant, and we already have enough problems with inept lawmakers trying to make heads and tails of this series of tubes. Do we need more competent people making our lives miserable for us?
Speaking of miserable, I don't know if I can ever use the vernacular expression "Kodak-an" without a sense of irony ever again: Kodak has filed for bankruptcy. One of the leaders in photography for over a century, it appears that with fewer and fewer people needing film to take pictures, Kodak has slowly but surely faded into irrelevance, catering only to the outlier of markets: hardcore purists and hipsters.
From now on, we call it "Canon-an" or "Nikon-an" or "Olympus-an," and it just doesn't have the same ring to it now.
Then again, we still call refs here "Pridgider," so maybe, just maybe, the expression would stay?
Speaking of staying, that's what our current Chief Justice will probably end up doing if the prosecution keeps on bungling their own procedures.
I'd crack more jokes about how inept the prosecution has been, but ultimately, for most of us, we don't really watch the impeachment proceedings for intellectual jousting.
We watch it for one reason, and one reason alone: the truth.
Pictured: the truth.
Oh, it's true! It's damn true!
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
The End Is The Beginning Is The End: The Unsent Series, Volume 4, Part I
.:Let It Burn: The Unsent Series, Volume 4, Part I:.
I think by now, it makes sense to make new volumes in the Unsent Series at certain key points in my life, and looking at it, it's funny that things have worked out this way. Over the years, I've slowly done less and less of the third person bit, but the core of the Unsent Series has always remained the same: a message that I hope someone chances upon someday, and realizes it's meant for them.
From Divine to Brilliance to Torch to Audacity to everyone in between, it has been a crazy ride into writing these letters with no hope of receipt, much less reciprocation.
But I will continue to write these Unsent letters, a faint last word that would probably fall into the abyss, heard by few or by many, but most likely not by the one who really should hear the message.
Dear Flipjack,
I find it a bit disconcerting how much you seem to be in self-denial about what has happened.
I find it a bit disheartening to see that you still find the time to waste on me when you have someone else you claim to be preoccupied with now.
I find it extremely pathetic that your words really aren't worth the sound waves they were produced from.
You see, what has been getting to me for the longest time has always been the fact that the likes of you keep on saying things you don't really mean. A bunch of silly, pointless gibberish that you think would sway someone to your side unequivocally just because. You keep on talking about how unique all this, yet you go out of your way to duplicate every single element of this the next time out.
You were a waste of time, and quite frankly, not worth the kind words I spared the last time out. And yes, those were very kind words I spared you, and I find it hard to feel sorry if you just needed some more drama in your life to look for a reason to get all twisted over me until the next time someone bothers giving you the time of day.
In the end, you proved no better than Audacity when it comes to saying what you mean, and meaning what to say. If anything, you're far worse, so when it comes to you, please don't worry 'bout me, I'm fine. I didn't even get to play the fool one time, and wised up pretty early on.
Go on, girl. Quit grousing about me and making him feel that you got with him to get back at me, because if in case you haven't noticed, I don't give a crap who you're being all clingy with now, s'long as it ain't me. I ran out of sympathy for you the minute you decided to start something you are woefully incapable of finishing with me, and I don't effing mean a relationship.
It's funny I feel this way about Flipjack, because after all this time, Audacity still, unfortunately, makes me feel the very same way she always has.
Dear Audacity,
I'll put it very bluntly: I feel shortchanged. I feel cheated. I feel betrayed. And yet, I can't say I was entitled to anything, either.
You see, I loved you despite everything you put me through, and despite everything that happened. No matter how small you made me feel, no matter how little regard you gave to my wishes, no matter how much disrespect you showered upon me and the things I did that everyone else who knew me were proud of, I loved you, and nobody could have ever questioned that.
So when all that came crashing down and you just turned your back on me, I was devastated. I was crushed like never before, and I don't know how I ever survived, yet here I am. All the pain, the hurt, even the anger, I just kept chalking it up to the fact that I loved you, and I had to keep looking the other way, while you went ahead and showed him everything you refused to show me. All the kindness. All the respect. All the regard. And you know what? All the love. The kind of love I never really got from you, yet I was too blind to not notice it at all.
And lo and behold, you promised me that you would stay with me for as long as I needed you. You and I were the best of friends, after all. So I banked on that promise. I believed you. And you outright told me that you'd rather forget about your word to me because your word to him matters more now.
When did your word to me even matter for shit, now that I think about it?!? I loved you at your worst, he has you at your best, and like a chewed up stick of gum, I am nothing more than a nuisance you want out of your carpet. I can be hostile, I can be benign, I can be furious, I can be calm. But what I cannot be is your friend. For nothing else than because I never really mattered to you, and you only ever loved the idea of what I could be, but it was never me. Never me at all.
So y'know what? I give up. I give up reaching out to you. I give up trying to be friends with someone who clearly doesn't want to live up to her word. I give up trying to think the best of you when clearly, you don't care anyway, and it makes no difference to you either way.
You've moved on. I'm still grieving. No longer because I lost My Beloved. But simply because I lost the best friend I ever had, and quite honestly, I don't know if I can ever find someone like that ever again.
As a friend, you were my once in a lifetime. It pains me to realize what we had didn't matter to you even just half as much as it did to me.
I don't want to wait in vain anymore.
I think by now, it makes sense to make new volumes in the Unsent Series at certain key points in my life, and looking at it, it's funny that things have worked out this way. Over the years, I've slowly done less and less of the third person bit, but the core of the Unsent Series has always remained the same: a message that I hope someone chances upon someday, and realizes it's meant for them.
From Divine to Brilliance to Torch to Audacity to everyone in between, it has been a crazy ride into writing these letters with no hope of receipt, much less reciprocation.
But I will continue to write these Unsent letters, a faint last word that would probably fall into the abyss, heard by few or by many, but most likely not by the one who really should hear the message.
Dear Flipjack,
I find it a bit disconcerting how much you seem to be in self-denial about what has happened.
I find it a bit disheartening to see that you still find the time to waste on me when you have someone else you claim to be preoccupied with now.
I find it extremely pathetic that your words really aren't worth the sound waves they were produced from.
You see, what has been getting to me for the longest time has always been the fact that the likes of you keep on saying things you don't really mean. A bunch of silly, pointless gibberish that you think would sway someone to your side unequivocally just because. You keep on talking about how unique all this, yet you go out of your way to duplicate every single element of this the next time out.
You were a waste of time, and quite frankly, not worth the kind words I spared the last time out. And yes, those were very kind words I spared you, and I find it hard to feel sorry if you just needed some more drama in your life to look for a reason to get all twisted over me until the next time someone bothers giving you the time of day.
In the end, you proved no better than Audacity when it comes to saying what you mean, and meaning what to say. If anything, you're far worse, so when it comes to you, please don't worry 'bout me, I'm fine. I didn't even get to play the fool one time, and wised up pretty early on.
Go on, girl. Quit grousing about me and making him feel that you got with him to get back at me, because if in case you haven't noticed, I don't give a crap who you're being all clingy with now, s'long as it ain't me. I ran out of sympathy for you the minute you decided to start something you are woefully incapable of finishing with me, and I don't effing mean a relationship.
It's funny I feel this way about Flipjack, because after all this time, Audacity still, unfortunately, makes me feel the very same way she always has.
Dear Audacity,
I'll put it very bluntly: I feel shortchanged. I feel cheated. I feel betrayed. And yet, I can't say I was entitled to anything, either.
You see, I loved you despite everything you put me through, and despite everything that happened. No matter how small you made me feel, no matter how little regard you gave to my wishes, no matter how much disrespect you showered upon me and the things I did that everyone else who knew me were proud of, I loved you, and nobody could have ever questioned that.
So when all that came crashing down and you just turned your back on me, I was devastated. I was crushed like never before, and I don't know how I ever survived, yet here I am. All the pain, the hurt, even the anger, I just kept chalking it up to the fact that I loved you, and I had to keep looking the other way, while you went ahead and showed him everything you refused to show me. All the kindness. All the respect. All the regard. And you know what? All the love. The kind of love I never really got from you, yet I was too blind to not notice it at all.
And lo and behold, you promised me that you would stay with me for as long as I needed you. You and I were the best of friends, after all. So I banked on that promise. I believed you. And you outright told me that you'd rather forget about your word to me because your word to him matters more now.
When did your word to me even matter for shit, now that I think about it?!? I loved you at your worst, he has you at your best, and like a chewed up stick of gum, I am nothing more than a nuisance you want out of your carpet. I can be hostile, I can be benign, I can be furious, I can be calm. But what I cannot be is your friend. For nothing else than because I never really mattered to you, and you only ever loved the idea of what I could be, but it was never me. Never me at all.
So y'know what? I give up. I give up reaching out to you. I give up trying to be friends with someone who clearly doesn't want to live up to her word. I give up trying to think the best of you when clearly, you don't care anyway, and it makes no difference to you either way.
You've moved on. I'm still grieving. No longer because I lost My Beloved. But simply because I lost the best friend I ever had, and quite honestly, I don't know if I can ever find someone like that ever again.
As a friend, you were my once in a lifetime. It pains me to realize what we had didn't matter to you even just half as much as it did to me.
I don't want to wait in vain anymore.
Project 52 2012 (3/52): On The Panacea That Is (Not) Understanding
.:Project 52 2012 (3/52): On The Panacea That Is (Not) Understanding:.
I'm sure you've heard it from this blog time and again - understanding doesn't make it hurt any less. And really, it doesn't.
Whenever someone tells you, "I hope you understand," they generally think that if you do, things would get easier. It placates their conscience, knowing that you know where they're coming from. However, the folly of that is in thinking that once they do see where you're coming from, then there's nothing left for you to do. That it's okay. It's not, and it shouldn't be.
Understanding does not imply complicity, much less assent. I understand why the Crusades happened, but I certainly would not approve of what happened back then. It's a bit sad that like an apology, an acknowledgment of understanding gives one the mistaken notion that they are completely in the right and free of any culpability. And then they find the temerity to lash out and get angry when they realize that this doesn't take them off the hook just like that.
Understanding isn't a magical panacea. It only means that someone could see how someone could do something, or how something could have possibly happened. It doesn't take away the pain. At least, not enough to just let it be ignored. So please, just so you don't sound like an idiot, when someone tells you "I understand," don't go assuming that they have no problem with the fact that you hurt them more than you ever could know.
Oh, my bad. This seems to be getting a tad autobiographical, and the past three essays have been rather downers, in all honesty. I hope I could change that at some point, but let's just toss January into nega month, seeing how I'm rather sick and tired of the words "I hope you understand," because understanding doesn't really do much to ease the pain, in the first place.
Anyways, I think I've made my point already: no, understanding doesn't make things hurt any less. Stop using it as an excuse!
I'm sure you've heard it from this blog time and again - understanding doesn't make it hurt any less. And really, it doesn't.
Whenever someone tells you, "I hope you understand," they generally think that if you do, things would get easier. It placates their conscience, knowing that you know where they're coming from. However, the folly of that is in thinking that once they do see where you're coming from, then there's nothing left for you to do. That it's okay. It's not, and it shouldn't be.
Understanding does not imply complicity, much less assent. I understand why the Crusades happened, but I certainly would not approve of what happened back then. It's a bit sad that like an apology, an acknowledgment of understanding gives one the mistaken notion that they are completely in the right and free of any culpability. And then they find the temerity to lash out and get angry when they realize that this doesn't take them off the hook just like that.
Understanding isn't a magical panacea. It only means that someone could see how someone could do something, or how something could have possibly happened. It doesn't take away the pain. At least, not enough to just let it be ignored. So please, just so you don't sound like an idiot, when someone tells you "I understand," don't go assuming that they have no problem with the fact that you hurt them more than you ever could know.
Oh, my bad. This seems to be getting a tad autobiographical, and the past three essays have been rather downers, in all honesty. I hope I could change that at some point, but let's just toss January into nega month, seeing how I'm rather sick and tired of the words "I hope you understand," because understanding doesn't really do much to ease the pain, in the first place.
Anyways, I think I've made my point already: no, understanding doesn't make things hurt any less. Stop using it as an excuse!
"Of cooourse I understand that you're a psycho neo-Nazi and your ridiculously lopsided views on racial equality make you feel entitled, no perhaps, even compelled, to curbstomp my face. Yeah, it's cool."
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