Friday, December 27, 2013

Panahon Ng Pagpapatawad...

.:Not Today, Pal...:.

In the vernacular, there is an expression that goes "ang Pasko ay ang panahon ng pagpapatawad," and they don't mean carolers. It's a sentiment that makes little sense, really: why would Christmas time be an extra-special time to forgive someone? Wouldn't any other given day do just fine, especially if you're not particularly a fan of Christmas, such as I am?

But no, I tried, anyways. Reached out to someone who I felt really wronged me. And it made me feel even worse.

I hate the holidays, really. Not a fan, and quite frankly, seeing how "appreciation" doesn't really count for much in this planet anyways, I'm surprised I even managed to live through this pointless merriment.

If I didn't love you, if I didn't love you like crazy...

I got to thinking about it, while I was having lunch with my best friend, Abby. Haven't seen her in a while, but it was good to note that she was in very high spirits, and I even ended up with an unexpected present from her, as well as an unexpected guest in Mike Unson. And as usual, we forgot to have a picture taken, but whatever.

Thanks for the present, though.

Thing is, as we were talking with each other over lunch at Greenbelt, I realized that inasmuch as I rarely can keep a grudge, the few that I manage to keep tend to be very difficult to let go of, indeed. And that's why I really can't help but feel very off by this  whole enterprise. Forgiveness should come naturally, not because of a particular season, per se.

So it isn't time to forgive you just yet. Maybe I will, maybe I never will. Either way, you sleep soundly at night, anyways, not giving a damn how I feel about what you have done to me. So what does it matter, right?

.:Which Leads Me To This...:.

Look, I don't really have any plans on telling you what to do or what not to do, but after all that talk about 7107, and the fact that the organizers have professional ties to Jeff Napoles, count me out of even wanting to be anywhere near the venue unless they categorically go on record to deny this. And no, the oblique attempts at sidestepping the issue they offered me over Twitter certainly don't offer me any comfort, whatsoever.

But if I can't forgive people who have wronged me too soon, the last thing I intend to do is to "forgive" the Napoles family for pretty much taking our nation's coffers as their own personal ATM, and, if Mo Twister is to be believed when it comes to this whole 7107 issue, charging us tickets for it. Imagine that. Our money was stolen, and we have to pay them even more money?

"But it isn't true, right? I mean, it's Mo Twister we're talking about here!" Newsflash: Mo Twister is a lot of things, but a liar, he is not. That is a well-known fact about him, because however outspoken and off the wall Mo happens to be, he wouldn't just make something like this up for no discernible gain, whatsoever.

I'm not casting my hat into the veracity of the claims. I won't be here to tell you if it's true or not, nor will I be here to cite to you the many people who swear to me that my worst fears about the 7107 festival are true. And least of all, I have no desire to tell you what to do with your money if you really want to see the Red Hot Chili Peppers or the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus that bad. And really, who am I to tell you a single damned thing, really? I'm not a celebrity. I'm not an organizer, or a politician, or anything of the sort. 

But you know what I happen to be? A taxpayer. And because I am one, I choose to speak out with my wallet, because I want to know. Hell, I need to know. Categorically. Explicitly. I don't want weasel words or half-truths and obfuscations. I've been in PR long enough to know better than to buy into that. I want something on the record.

In any case, if they're not willing to give me that much, on the basis of me not being someone worth addressing, that's cool, too. I guess it makes more sense why the Binays of this world get to ask people "Hindi mo ba ako kilala?" and get away with it with utmost impunity: you only have a voice if you're big enough, not when you actually have something legitimate to say. Who am I, really? I'm just a taxpayer who doesn't want to contribute another centavo to the Napoles bank account. No big deal.

But hey, if matters of integrity are of no import to them, and if it makes them sleep better at night, by all means, just go right ahead and call me a "hater" and ignore me, even if I want to believe this whole thing is on the level. It's a free country, and I'm sure enough people will buy tickets to your festival and not care who actually funded the damned thing.

One does wonder how Lourd De Veyra, frontman of Radioactive Sago Project, feel about the whole thing, though, seeing as he's slated to perform for the festival.

Para sa mga Napoles, hindi ngayon ang panahon ng pagpapatawad. At marahil, hinding-hindi na ito darating pa para sa kanila, hangga't sa lantaran pa rin silang nakikinabang sa pinagpawisang salapi ng bawat mamamayang Pilipino.

Thursday, December 26, 2013

The 2013 Year-In-Review Survey

.:The 2013 Year-In-Review:.

1. What did you do in 2012 that you'd never done before?

I went abroad on my own.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I could have sworn I kept a resolution, but I don't quite know if it went appreciated. Check last year's resolution, if you're wondering what it was.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Kathy Chua (again)!

4. Did anyone close to you die?

My grandmother from my father's side passed away January this year. Other than that, not really.

5. What countries did you visit?

Australia, and most likely in a few days, Singapore.

6. What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013?

Love. I think it's time. Dammit, didn't I say this last year?

7. What date from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

The entirety of my trip in Australia, I guess? That was a couple of weeks in June, and it definitely shaped how the rest of my year turned out to be.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Went viral several times over again this year, especially with the Anne Curtis list, and there was a momentous accomplishment during my Australia trip that I'm not exactly at liberty to discuss.

9. What was your biggest failure?

The inability to seal the deal and actually make good on making something lasting out of my trip.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

A lot of sore throats.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Now that I think about it, I haven't really bought anything of note this year, except maybe a plane ticket and some cards, as I got back into the thick of Magic: The Gathering this year.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

My new friend, Chiqui, who really made good on her dream of making it into radio. Probably Pomelo as well, given how far we've come as friends now.

13. Whose behavior appalled you and made you depressed?

 I'd rather not name these people, especially since one of them supposedly merited celebration last year. So much for that. There's also that time someone stole a gig from me and attempted to do it a second time. 

14. Where did most of your money go?

Food, a plane ticket, and Magic: The Gathering. Also, maybe a bit into Tekken on iOS.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

The Australia trip. Notice a running theme here?

16. What song will always remind you of 2013?

"Neseye Ne Eng Lehet" - Daniel Padilla

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? – sadder
ii. thinner or fatter? – fatter
iii. richer or poorer? – poorer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Paid shows, and listening to my own advice.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Emotional eating.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

It was pretty quiet. In fact, I mostly slept through it.

21. Did you fall in love in 2013?

There was nothing new here. What was then still is now - and I hate it.

22. How many one-night stands?

Straight-edge, remember?

23. What was your favorite TV program?

WWE Raw and Smackdown, and Elementary. Lucy Liu is love.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

No, but I might be getting there.

25. What was the best book you read?

The Hunger Games? Although I realize I actually read The Game last year.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I went mostly with classics this year. The Robin Thickes of our year weren't particularly definitive to me, although "Roar" by Katy Perry did have some merit to it.

27. What did you want and not get?

One more chance. (Still! For four years and counting!)

28. Favorite film of this year?

On. The. Job.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

There wasn't anything important going on the day I turned 30. At least, not to my recollection. I was just working and making lists.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

One more chance. But hey, maybe I should stop thinking next year would be any better?

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?

Outside of that so-called makeover I had with Uniqlo? Meh.

32. What kept you sane?, the 8List, and Magic: The Gathering.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

It was a renaissance of my infatuation for Lucy Liu!

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

Janet freaking Napoles.

35. Who did you miss?

That feeling that things would get better if only I held on for one more day. So more of a "what" than a "who," since missing someone who doesn't miss me back is kind of pointless anyways.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

Chiqui. No doubt. Christa and Jona figure in there, somewhere, too.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013.

"Thank you" is a beautiful pair of words - until they're used in response to "I love you."

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

How long will I love you, long as the stars are above you - and longer, if I can.

Mission Accomplished, But It Gets Lonely Up There

.:Now I Can Breathe...:.

Mayhem accomplished!

It was an epic weekend, to put it mildly. As I was there, hosting the big show in Solaire, with Rex Navarette and Mike Unson as the featured performers, I really couldn't help but feel very happy that I was set to close my 2013 with a bang, as far as my hosting and magic were concerned. It was a whole lot more than I could have ever asked for.

Couple that with the fact that I had an amazing time the next day despite being a zombie, as I hosted Sean and Hai's wedding, and spent the day with the JGL. It was definitely a great time with Clair, JM, Sacha, Wayne, Peppy, Diane, Mark, and of course, the newlyweds, as I squeezed in as many Rick Astley lyrics and Mario references as I could throughout the reception. It was a blast, really. An absolute blast.

This has been a fairly quiet 2013 for my performance career, but with Switch and standup and mentalism and even more hosting to come soon, I couldn't be more excited at the inroads this year's experiences has managed to pave. It's been a blast, and it's only going to get better in 2014.

.:But There Are Times...:.

Weddings always have that effect on me. I'm so happy for the couple, but I can't help but wonder about where I'm headed. If I'd ever find myself in the same state.

I've gotten rather jaded lately, and the fact that I'm a Christmas grinch, and there I was at a wedding so near Christmas, so you can just imagine how that bodes for my emotional state. I won't harp on the whole "malamig ang Pasko" bit, seeing as it won't be long before I end up vituperating about February 14 soon enough, but damn, it does get lonely from where I stand. 

I hate it because there have been so many words said, so many things done, yet in the end, it's little more than lip service, and the status quo still remains. I'm not happy with it. I'm definitely far from satisfied with it, and all the so-called gratitude in the world feels more and more empty when everything becomes just a one-sided parody of what a relationship between two people is supposed to be.

I don't know where I am. I don't know where I'm headed. And the notion that I'm cluelessly hurtling towards the rest of my life has ceased to excite me, and has begun to alarm me. 

Friday, December 20, 2013

The Calm Before The Storm

.:First, Autobiographical Stuff:.

I must say, I really enjoyed the company outing last week. Although mine was abruptly cut short because I had to go back to Manila ASAP so I can do my magic show, that' just fine, really. I'm just happy I managed to enjoy the company of some of my co-workers in a non-work setting, although the multiple injuries that came about thanks to the insane team-building exercises they planned for us definitely took the cake.

I even managed to sneak in a bit of ToyCon, along with a bit of time with the good ol' barkada and improv comedy. That's a bit of an achievement and quite possibly the busiest weekend ever, to boot.

But yeah, that's all I have for now. In the meantime though, please make sure to catch Rex Navarette at Solaire tomorrow night, featuring Mike Unson. I will be hosting that night! :D

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Off To Boracay!

See you guys after this weekend, as I will be heading out tomorrow morning for Boracay for the office outing. Still, I'll be on air with Chiqui on the Rowdy Empire tonight, so do check us out from 9-12 midnight on WAVE 891 tonight.

I know, I know. Blogging has been really delinquent lately, but have you seen the stuff I've been putting up on the 8List? Wow. I'm on a rampage!

There's also my latest POC article on Manny Pacquiao and Nelson Mandela, by the way.

Life has been hectic lately, but I couldn't be more grateful.

Friday, November 29, 2013

2 Hot 4 8List: 8 Alternate Interpetations For The "Binay Stopped At Restricted Area" Picture

.:2 Hot 4 8List: 8 Alternate Interpretations For The "Binay Stopped At Restricted Area" Picture:.

(2Hot 4 8List are lists that for various, often obvious reasons, need to be published on a personal capacity, rather than as something that de facto represents the website I love to write for. I hope you enjoy it, because whether or not they ended up on the site, I still worked pretty hard on them, minus the epic graphic design you've come to know and love from the 8List.)

Recently, a new picture came out featuring our Vice President, Jejomar Binay, allegedly being stopped by US Soldiers from entering the restricted area for UN Humanitarian Relief. The Vice President, who was campaigning for 2016 spearheading relief efforts by putting his name on all the relief goods, was trying to get in.

Five different numbers texted me this picture, praising our Vice President in the process.

Of course, a conflicting report indicates that this photo was actually that of a handshake between the Vice President and one of the US military overseeing relief efforts, so there’s that, too.

Taking one more look at the photo, you can’t help but think that it might be open to a myriad interpretations, though. Since I am an impulsive creature made of pure, weapons-grade Id, that’s exactly what I did…

Because to white people, they all look alike.

He's wearing a black shirt, genius.

Someone needed to take over after Willie Revillame retired from TV...

Family reunions really bring tears to our eyes.

Worst. Wrestlemania. Ever.

No wonder that bootlegged DVD of "Rocky IV" was so cheap!

No wonder that bootlegged DVD of "A Few Good Men" was so cheap!

Do not. F*ck. With. Binay.

Blogger Events? It Felt Like A Lifetime Ago...

.:... And Yet The Entitlement Complexes Never Went Away:.

I slowly eased myself out of attending blogger events ever since I worked for Nuffnang four years ago. At some point, being at blogger events was more work than anything else, and it no longer became a prominent part of my life. Nothing wrong with blogger events at all, mind you. I just lost interest in attending every single one that invited me at some point.

Of course, I remained friends with a lot of bloggers. It's not like I stopped being one, myself, or decided to isolate myself from the rest of them. But in doing so, it provided me with the opportunity to really choose who I would spend time with, rather than to waste my time being surrounded by vexations to my soul.

This also means that I missed the newer generation of bloggers, especially the newer generation of atrocious ones. The ones who decided that this whole "patay-gutom bloggers" thing was really cool and they should continue its fine tradition. And continue, they did.

I feel rather jaded about the blogging scene lately, to be honest. Most of the award-giving bodies have successfully turned blogging into a celebrity-dominated sphere, where nobody bothers with the opinion of anyone who isn't a power blogger, whatever the Hades that means.

The "Power Blogger," in its element.

The thing is, blogging on its own has been nearly as irrelevant as it has been before it even existed. In the age of 140 characters or less, someone sitting down to read a full-length blog entry where some self-proclaimed social media (idiot) savant shouts about his relevance from the highest mountaintops, yet nobody is listening. Have you noticed who gets nominated for blogging and social media awards lately? I'll give you a hint: nearly all of them are celebrities, and they will drown you out, regardless what your message is.

With how much I've been writing for the 8List ever since last year, the frequency of my blogging has obviously taken a hit. I'm not the same blogger I once was, and haven't been particularly waving the banner of blogging that much in the last year or two. As such, what really does get to me is how more than a few of these remaining loud voices in the blogosphere take it upon themselves to represent everyone else, saying they do the sh*t that they do for the "honor" of bloggers. Who died and made them our savior, really?

Look. I'm not being a hipster about this blogging thing. You wanna SEO your way to riches? Go ahead. You want to receive tokens and gift certificates all the time so you never have to do your groceries ever again? Be my guest. But I am not you, and when you keep saying you are fighting for people like me, it annoys the f*ck out of me. I don't know you, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to, so leave me out of your drama.

I'd be looking at the back of my skull if my eyes rolled any further.

I've been keeping what is functionally an online diary for eleven years already. I like to write. I like to get on my soapbox and talk about things, with varying degrees of success. I like being snarky, and even getting into flame wars or trollbaiting people sometimes. But what tires me out is when that's all I ever encounter, when some bloggers who think they're hot stuff use their so-called influence to leverage threats against people, and then claim they are being bullied when the inevitable backlash flies in their face.

I don't need someone telling me how to be ethical when they keep jumping from endorsing one skin whitening brand to another at the drop of a hat, yet still looking every bit the same.

I don't need someone telling me how much this restaurant sucks because it can't give anything beyond free food for bloggers to try and write about, when any self-respecting food critic would actually want to do this incognito.

I don't need someone telling me to get outraged at the latest issue you deem worth "curating." You have yet to meet an ambulance you didn't want to chase.

I especially don't need someone telling me how to be ahead of the social media curve when they don't even have five hundred followers to their name while they proclaim themselves a "guru."

It's all self-aggrandizement, really. People who are all bark and no bite, yet think that crying "wolf" the way they do about their vaunted influence would somehow make the world be at their beck and call. It doesn't work that way. 

Your blog doesn't make you special. Your traffic doesn't increase your bust size, nor does your ad clicks increase your sperm count. If you think for one moment that your status on the internet entitles you to anything more than any other human being should reasonably expect, then maybe you need some WD-40 to get your head out of your own ass. It's way too far in already.

Visual aid.

I don't represent anyone when I say this, mind you. Maybe some people agree with me when I say this, maybe some don't. But most won't even bother reading this. I don't care. I just want it to be stated for the record, that for the most part, I'm jaded with where the blogosphere has ended up after all these years. When celebrity culture permeated blogging, I never thought that most everyone would ignore virtually all the good stuff that comes with it and instead only pick up the relentless narcissism, the unmitigated self-importance, and the overblown sense of entitlement.

So please. When you talk about how people who aren't bloggers should deal with those who are, when you talk about what bloggers are all about, or when you try to so much as stand as a representative for bloggers at large? Just f*cking speak for yourself, okay?

Being a blogger does not make you special, or entitle you to anything out of the ordinary. Being a blogger does not make you smarter or more amazing than anyone else. It's the person behind the blog that makes something special, not the blog in and by itself. And if you squander that strength of personality over some petty vendetta or some stupid score you have to settle, do you genuinely think it's worth it?

Somehow, I don't think so.

Monday, November 25, 2013

2 Hot 4 8List: 8 Sassy Comebacks We Wish Korina and Anderson Made to Each Other

(2Hot 4 8List are lists that for various, often obvious reasons, need to be published on a personal capacity, rather than as something that de facto represents the website I love to write for. I hope you enjoy it, because whether or not they ended up on the site, I still worked pretty hard on them, minus the epic graphic design you've come to know and love from the 8List.)

.:8 Sassy Comebacks We Wish Korina and Anderson Made to Each Other:.

In the recent word war between Korina Sanchez and Anderson Cooper, the latter’s passive-aggressive ways mostly won in the eyes of the public.

It basically went down like this:

Korina: “Itong si Anderson Cooper, sabi wala daw government presence sa Tacloban. Mukhang hindi niya alam ang sinasabi niya.”

Anderson: “
Miss Sanchez is welcome to go there (Tacloban City) and I would urge her to go there. I don’t know if she has, but her husband is the interior minister and I’m sure she can arrange a flight.”

Since last week, Korina is on the field for her program “Rated K,” which means rumors of her being suspended for her tiff with Anderson are effectively debunked. Meanwhile, Anderson has turned his attention from feuding with Korina to feuding with Alec Baldwin.

While even Frosty The Snowman himself may have felt the burn Anderson Cooper inflicted upon Korina Sanchez in their brief non-exchange, we can imagine ourselves looking into eight different alternate universes where both journalists were sassier and cattier than they already were.

Of course, she would know a thing or two about slippers.

Imagine if she stuck it out with Noynoy...

There is nothing more Pinoy than using "iggg" as a sound effect.

You can't beat the master, Korina.

Pour some more milk for these kitties!


Oo nga naman.

Game set, match.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

So When Were You Going To Tell Me? The Unsent Series, Volume 4, Part IV

.:So When Were You GOing To Tell Me? The Unsent Series, Volume 4, Part IV:.

Dear Carbon,

I chalked up everything we went through back then as a matter of bad timing. I didn't have the gumption when I needed to have it, and I didn't know how to stand up for what was right when I should have back then.

I let things pass me by, but at some point, I realized I couldn't do that any longer. So I laid my cards on the table, and you knew I was dead serious. It was about time. I was ready. 

But you weren't. At least, not yet. And that's fine. I respected that, and gave you the time you asked for because the last thing we needed was uncertainty. It was a testament to our years of knowing each other that it was the easiest thing in the world to do for you, because why wouldn't I? I would be a fool not to.

Except just like before, you would flit in and out of my life, and I couldn't quite tell where to stand with you, because you never could manage to just stay still and tell me the truth. You had to keep me spinning right round like a record. Why? Was it so hard to tell me how you really felt? was it so hard for you to be honest with me?

So now, after telling you I was willing to give it time, you never bothered to give me that chance. You just went ahead and moved right on as if I never once figured in your plans. Thanks, really. It only goes to show how important what we had really is to you.

Carbon, what could have been can now never be. You chose to make it so, and left me with no choice. You threw away everything because you couldn't even give us the kind of respect we deserved. You had no idea how much I was willing to give to make this work. You had no idea how much I wanted this to work. Instead, all you cared about was yourself. Not once did you think that someone was waiting for you. Not once did you think that someone was hanging onto your word.

Your words, which, apparently, have no value whatsoever.

Were you just going to leave me in the lurch without giving it a second thought? At what point would it have occurred to you that I at least needed the courtesy of knowing I was just wasting my time? It's not like that would have genuinely hurt me nearly as much as having to wait on empty ended up hurting me. Then what? You'd turn to me and ask for help again when your world crumbles down one more time? How predictable.

Carbon, no amount of pressure will turn you into the diamond you ought to be, if this is the kind of treatment anyone can expect from you. I'm sick and tired of waiting for a realization that clearly will never come.

You threw it all away. And I'm done picking up after you.

Friday, November 15, 2013

The Comedy Challenge

.:The Comedy Challenge:.

After four years on and off of doing standup comedy, I've found myself mostly relying on current events material for my jokes. That's nice, except for the part where you have little choice but to discard your material after a few weeks.

A week ago, I did a 15-minute set for the first time, and I couldn't thank GB enough for the opportunity he gave me. It certainly felt like a culmination of sorts, as I did a fairly competent extended set, and I had it all recorded, so I more or less knew if I was doing stuff right on the money/

Then last Monday, I opened for Mike, and he asked me to do 10 minutes, and it seems that's the norm he expects from me at this point.

As my friend and mentor, Mike challenged me to develop my material, and give myself a year to be able to do a full 1-hour set. It's daunting, looking at it right now, but I have to admit, that is something I want to strive towards.

With Switch, the improv comedy group I'm a part of, really taking off as well, there is so much good going on in the world of comedy, and I'm glad to be even just a small part of it.

Here's hoping that I do manage to continue improving my craft. I have such a long way to go, but I have never felt more optimistic about it than I do now.

Thursday, November 14, 2013

The Case of the Ridiculous "Research" Paper

.:On "Oplan: Discredit The Preacher":.

Wait, what?

It was hilarious enough the first time this cropped up. I wrote an article on the 8List about scandals I believed to be worse than Chito Miranda, and then saw that same list blow up when it was featured by Yahoo.

And yes, that was the sorta-hilarious but also sorta-scary point where I realized that my time in the 8List could very well yield some death threats. Crazy, I know.

But you know what's crazier? That someone who I don't remotely even know would go out there, do a "research" paper on me, and get his dose of daily exercise by running his mouth and jumping to conclusions. So if you ever end up reading this, Toto Onato, come at me, bro. I'm ready for you.

En garde.

Let's take a look at the drivel he wrote, then. And no, I won't even bother correcting his grammar or spelling. Too much work.

Toto opens with the supposed "background" on the list that I wrote...

Background: On August 16, 2013, a certain Kel Fabie published on Yahoo! News an article entitled “8S candals Far Worse Than Chito Miranda’s (Chito Miranda, Jr., incidentally, is a Filipino lead singer for the band “Parokya ni Edgar ”. On August 3, 2013, video snippets of Miranda having sex with his girlfriend Neri Naig were leaked and became viral hits in many social media sites but Fabie, in his article,did not consider it even a scandal of sort).  

Right there, you see that we are operating from starkly differing points of view. As far as I'm concerned, I've made it very clear that I don't find any scandal in a rock star who happens to have sex with his girlfriend. When I pitched this for the 8List, I came in with the intention of diverting attention from what I found to be a worthless distraction, and instead make people pay more attention to what I found were truly scandalous things, in varying degrees. Let's face it: between two consenting adults screwing each other, and Janet Napoles screwing the entire nation over, I'm more inclined to have actual f*cks to give about the latter than the former.

So Toto goes on, and says that he will investigate me further: except it's clear that he doesn't, because at no point does he ever stumble upon the 8List, which would have provided him with a whole lot of context for why I write what I write.

Save for one (1) religious preacher who landed in the number 8 position from the list, all theothers are either past or present government officials, politicians and associates involved in large scale graft and corruption in government and other forms of criminal acts. The author’s strange inclusion of a lone religious personality from the list of scandals in politics and governance had placed his intention in serious doubt, hence, the consistency and integrity of his work necessitates further scrutiny.In the spirit of fairness, this report aims to present an impartial assessment on the credibility of his article and to ferret out the probability of an ulterior motive behind the publication of his own preferential list of scandals.

I'm not a journalist. I'm opinionated, I do ruffle feathers, and in case it hasn't been so obvious yet, when I make lists, I like throwing in some choices from out of left field. But no, I'm  not a journalist. Of course the list would be subjective, and the "ulterior motive" you speak of is to remind people that Chito Miranda's scandal is the least of our problems. That it just so happened to be Brother Eli at this point instead of, say, the multiple instances of pedophilia or sexual harassment demonstrated by some of the Catholic clergy, is just par for the course.

It's laughable how he keeps on placing disclaimers "in the spirit of fairness" that this is an "impartial assessment" regarding the credibility of my list, when all he ever does is play mind-reader and question my motives without ever once refuting the evidence I have linked to regarding Brother Eli Soriano's case. Which is a thing. That exists. 

So he quotes my list in the next section of his "paper" and completely misses the fact that the list was designed as a wake-up call to people who seem more preoccupied with what consenting adults do in their bedroom than the people we supposedly call our leaders.

From there, he quoted some information that he would actually care about, as he is clearly a member of Ang Dating Daan:

Bro. Eli had been facing numerous libel cases in various courts in the Philippines and they were all filed by the Manalos’ church Iglesia Ni Cristo (INC). The INC also filed sometime in 2001 a frustrated murder case and in 2004, a rape case against Bro. Eli. The frustrated murder case was dismissed during the early part of 2010 while the rape case had been ongoing.Complainants Bernardo Santiago in frustrated murder case and Daniel Veridiano in rape casewere former members of ADD who were excommunicated for adultery in the case of Santiago and multiple rape and malverzation of funds in the case of Veridiano. The moment they became privileged members of the INC, that was the time they filed their respective complaint against him. Incidentally, the rape case had been previously dismissed at the level of the Fiscals’ office in Pampanga but the surprise intervention of the Department of Justice then under Secretary Raul Gonzales who was under Manalo’s sphere of influence, hastily reversed the earlier resolution and ordered the subsequent re-filing of the dismissed rape case. References:1)

Notice the part where he said that there's still a warrant for arrest out there for Brother Eli? How about the part where Brother Eli is still technically a fugitive evading arrest, much like Senator Lacson was a few years ago? Oh, he didn't mention any of that? Strange. I thought he said he was being "impartial?"

I feel so betrayed.

So from this point, he then launches into his "findings," and points out that yes, 7 out of 8 entries were all politically related, without at any point being cognizant of the fact that at no point did I promise that all 8 of the scandals would be political in nature...

Moreover, the statement from the author himself: “if he is innocent, this is a scandal of clear religious oppression” is a manifestation that he is not fully convinced that Bro. Eli is liable. Therefore, such “benefit of doubt” should have effectively deprived the author of anymore valid reason and resolve to proceed with the odd inclusion of the lone preacher on the list.Instead of being reasonably guided however, the author even presented the purported scandal list in reverse order from 8th to 1st so that the name of Bro. Eli appears to be the banner headline.

And here, he displays his complete lack of research, which puts his credibility into question, more than anything else: I included #8 because it was a two-way scandal. If it were true, it's a scandal on Brother Eli's part. If it were false, it was a scandal of religious oppression. Either way, it is a scandal, and one that people should be very aware of.

He makes it even worse by being oblivious to the notion of a countdown, which is the standard practice for all lists on the website, barring very few exceptions. But since he doesn't even know that the 8List exists because he never bothered to actually do any research for his "research" paper, it becomes pretty obvious why he makes this conjecture, and proceeds to assume this was done because of SEO, rather than an increasing order of relevance for the average person as we approach the #1 item.

So mad, you guys.

At this point, he drops all pretense of scholarly restraint, and proceeds to lay this doozy down...

Noticeably, the author even managed to use blog links sympathetic to Bro. Eli apparently in a feigned attemptto project himself as not being biased in reporting. In short, the author’s temerity for trickery and pretentiousness to project image of objectivity and fairness is obvious. Nonetheless, it can never erase the evident shadow of his devious and malicious intention against Bro Eli, who, in reality, is his article’s main target personality. (emphasis mine)

Oy, vey.

Brother Eli was far from my main target. In fact, he was the token non-political guy I threw into the list for the sake of a bit of diversity. The main target was, and obviously always has been, Janet Napoles. A cursory look at the multiple lists I've written or co-written should tell you as much, but of course doing any minute amount of "research" on this "research" paper is way too much work for Toto, isn't it?

And to think I found out about this paper from a frigging vanity search.

His conclusion? Even worse.

Kel Fabie article about his so-called 8 scandals is obviously nothing more than a poorly executed propaganda plot against Bro. Eli Soriano (apparently sponsored by his detractors) which should have been entitled instead as “OPLAN: DISCREDIT THE PREACHER”. 

Discredit the preacher? Do you think I even care about your preacher's credibility as much as I care about the fact that he is involved in a high-profile rape allegation case and is still evading arrest? Do you think this is the face of someone who gives a sh*t?

Not pictured: the face of someone who gives a sh*t.

Hey, Toto! You know the only reason people ended up really remembering why your fearless leader (who's apparently in hiding from cops looking to serve him a warrant of arrest) is still being accused of having raped a dude? Because people like you think people like me give a sh*t. Newsflash: I'm a religious egalitarian. I hate 'em all equally.

There is no plot, and it would have been cool if I were paid by Brother Eli's detractors to write a list I would have totally written for my job anyways, but nope, that didn't happen either. Newsflash: the world doesn't f*cking revolve around you.

Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah.

I also find it laughable that other people in the comments "defended" Soriano from being called "homophobic" because all he did was cite the Bible. You mean, just because the apparently homophobic verses are from the Bible, they're magically not homophobic somehow? It doesn't work that way.

Ultimately, it's pretty pathetic that you feel so compelled to defend your great leader when he isn't even willing to face the music and do it himself.