Wednesday, March 31, 2004


Expect me to post tomorrow instead. I'm too busy right now with a lot of stuff, and yes, expect a drastic lack of activity from me come Holy Week. Hope I have my computer by then, though. That way, I could type stuff for myself...

.:2bU Is Out:.

I'm in today's edition of the Philippine Daily Inquirer, in 2bU. More on that next time, but do check it out.

.:Review Done:.

Watched 50 First Dates with Grace last night. Loved i, done reviewing it, but the post has to wait.

.:In The Booth:.

Was with Chico and Delle and Brad this morning. Brad now has SF Alpha 3 on his GBA. Looks like I have to get my link cable on me soon.

As it was the Monster's Riot, I did a certain (newfound) friend of mine a small favor, though I doubt that he knew about it. I requested for Wilson Phillips' "You're In Love", and Chico played it during the last hour of the show.

.:Patience Runs Thin:.

Usually, I come running. Now, it's your turn. Okay. Enough with the cryptic stuff...

Tuesday, March 30, 2004

.:RAW Deal Available!:.

For all people interested in playing RAW Deal, supplies are now available at Club Arena in Virra Mall. Feel free to e-mail me any questions you may have with the game, if you so wanted to get started on it… :) I’d be more than willing to be of help to you.

.:Not Your Typical Slow Day:.

After the interview with Fr. Que, I was just intent on hanging around Grace’s house before we went and watched 50 First Dates. However, Grace was feeling particularly lethargic at the time, and so she didn’t want to go on with the date anymore. Instead, we just stayed for a while at her house, having fruit salad (Perfect for the scorching heat!!!) and balut (Semi-mature duck egg.). Not much there, really. Grace was just too lazy, and with the humid climate this country has right now, can you blame her?

Then out of the blue, Peppy texted me if I was going to Eric’s house. Pleased over the prospect of doing something productive, I gladly took the invitation and headed off to Eric’s house in a while, where Sacha, Peppy, and Russell were already apparently around. I was pretty lost going to Eric’s house, so I asked Eric for directions, when I was already at their street…

Marcelle: So here I am. Where’re you guys?

Eric: Okay. I’m coming out.

Ah, yes. What an admission…

So I was in the house already, and Sacha was up to her usual emotional blackmail approach, as she tried to make Peppy feel guilty about beating her up in Soul Calibur 2. I picked up quite easily on the game this time around, even scoring some good wins with my very solid Heihachi, whose sole problem at this point is doing his juggles well… Still, it was all fine. More gay innuendo from Peppy, though…

Eric: You guys okay?

Peppy: Yeah. We hot.

With four guys in the room, and Sacha outside, checking papers, that wasn’t exactly the most manly thing for Peppy to say, now, was it? Still, we had pizza again (Sacha: Oh, my. Eighteen inches might be too big for me!), and we were mostly indulging in Fatal Frame 2 after a while, and Sacha is such a scaredy cat, I swear. She refuses to so much as hold onto the controller while playing the game, and she sure as Hades was easily frightened by the cutscenes in the game. I, on the other hand, happened to be particularly interested with the lead characters, who were amazingly cute, although they had two small problems. They were apparently pre-teens, but they catered to Eric’s schoolgirl fetish, anyway. Schoolgirls are part of the equation when it came to me, but there’s a different requirement they met that made me pay attention…

In the meantime, Sacha was asking me if I remembered Hope, who is apparently still reading my LJ. Small world. They seem to know each other. Funny thing is, when Hope asked if it was Sach whom I was blogging about, Sach called me “one of her stalkers”.

Marcelle: Excuse me, I’m not one of your stalkers!

Sacha: You said so!

Marcelle: That was a half-meant joke. I mean, a joke!

Eric: Aha! See?

Marcelle: Look… if I were really stalking you, don’t you think I’d have lots of pictures and videos of you on my phone?

Peppy: *snickers*

Marcelle: Besides, I blow at stalking. And I have evidence…

I’ll show you that evidence next time…

.:Upon Leaving:.

After getting to know part of Eric’s family, we left at around 8:00 in the evening. In any case, I was mostly talking about different stuff I intend to be up to, and of course, is it just me, or is Sach really reading too much into what I say? Ergo, I end up having to be defensive with what I say lest her malicious mind starts running on overdrive again.,. she even apologized to Eric’s mom about me, for something I said about teaching in ICA that she misconstrued again… aw, shucks.

Later on, in Peppy’s car, Peppy was offering the ice cream marathon to Sach again…

Marcelle: Peppy, you have a weird concept of a date.

Sacha: Actually, I have a term for Peppy, but I don’t see him that way. Something to do with sugar…

Sigh. Peppy, the Sugar Daddy.

A while afterwards, we were talking about Dance Maniax, Guitar Freaks, and the like. Eric wanted to purchase a machine for “research purposes” for the CS department. We were relishing the idea of that happening, although I told them that among all those sim games, the only one I was good at in public was DM. I said I wasn’t too good with DDR, as I couldn’t quite do well when I’m pressured to perform…

Sacha: Maybe you just have problems… *hand is strategically approximating a certain spot* performing.

Marcelle: Omigosh, I got PWN3D!

Peppy: *snickers*

Marcelle: Guess I had that coming, after having been front-stabbing Sach on my weblog for so long. I mean, all those comparisons and comments…

In a few moments, she smacked me in the eye with a pillow. I swear, that hurt! She was apologizing to me soon enough…

Marcelle: And I thought only Gio could get this violent.

Sacha: I’m sorry!

Marcelle: Peppy, remember Sensei 2? Sacha, you have to kiss my eye!

Sacha: Peppy, as my teaching assistant, you must do it on my behalf.

Marcelle: Sach, how many times must I tell you? A soulmate is way different from a partner in crime!

Sacha: But you guys get along so well…

I’ve been PWN3D by a Persocom… payback for all the times I’ve been front-stabbing her, I guess… :)

Of course, if I ended up with a blackeye, explaining that might be quite a sticky situation with Grace… Peppy transcribed that better, though. But with this event, I am led to believe that this is the start of something… err… kinky.


Elbert apparently picks on Sacha in spite of the disparity between her and Abby simply because of her voice. On the other hand, the fact that Sach no longer wears glasses this summer may bring her down to number four instead of three…

In any case, it was nice talking to Elbert. He never lets up on the non-offensive insults (Once you’re used to them, I guess.), and you can’t help but laugh to it quite a bit… ah, well. Still, he had a valid question that he posed to me, though: don’t I think it’s quite an omen that one day after graduating, I’m already up and at ‘em on Radio 1? It’s almost like nothing happened.

Truth be told, the answer is obvious now, anyway. I’m the type who can’t just sit still and do nothing. I evaluate myself as I go along, I cross bridges when I get there. Stepping back and thinking things over simply doesn’t work for me, as being in the thick of things gives me more clarity as to where I would want to go.

.:Getting To Know You:.

I guess it wasn’t too late to get to know Rowena after all (I’m left to wonder if she has a nickname, though.). She’s a pretty nice person, although I have to admit that I really haven’t been able to hear much from her. I have to watch myself from dominating conversations with people again. I tend to gain nothing from it…

I’m glad I took the opportunity to approach her when I did, which was approximately our last day of classes with Mr. Bulaong. In spite of the fact that Mich was ribbing me over it because of the resemblance, I have to say that though this is a rather belated friendship that I started with Rowena, I’m happy about it, nonetheless. We had some very interesting conversations, and I really appreciated her listening to me. Next time, it’ll be my turn to listen. She's been really nice to me, and I hope that this is the start of a nice friendship.

I'm also glad she's a good sport. At number six in the list upon debut, that's quite a leap, so to speak... :)

.:An Insight From After My Chat With Rowena:.

I guess what I realized after everything was quite simple: when we graduated, I felt like everyone else graduated. They’re mostly gone, moving onto other fields, while I’m still up to more or less the same things I’ve been up to all my college life. RX? I’ve been doing radio work since first year high school. I’ve been working for RX during summers since second year college. Nothing new. Advertising? My whole family is involved in that industry. Philosophy? More of the academe, that I chose to stay in, not because I fear what is out there (Elbert knows this is obviously not the case.), but because I realize that my fulfillment can come through here. I believe that Bobby Benedicto, if he so decides to teach, has his own reasons as well, but I think fulfillment will likewise come into play.

And so everyone has graduated. Marcelle, on the other hand, is still on this path within the academe, leaps and bounds though it may be from the course he graduated from. Then again, Comm and Philo are inextricably linked (Big deal, though. You can link any two subjects in the Ateneo one way or another, anyway.), but what is special about this link is that it has formed something within me. A goal. One that I pray I could reach.

Monday, March 29, 2004

.:A Missed Opportunity:.

Somewhere far away, Abby is enjoying herself right now, and I can’t help but be filled with a lot of sadness because before she left, the perfect opportunity presented itself to me for me to capitalize upon it. I should’ve known better. I should’ve pounced on the chance when I had it. But foolish mortal that I am, Abby would be completely oblivious to what I have to say, lest somewhere within her, the thought likewise occurs. Maybe she’d even feel for once what I had inside of me that I should’ve told her.

Yes, it’s been eight years of having known Abby, but this two week vacation she is taking was something that should’ve been a turning point, yet here I am, completely regretting how slow I was to have not acted upon the chance before it was too late. Now, all I could do is wait for her, and perhaps shatter the little chance that I had before she left. If I only had a remote shot at getting my point across and realizing its fruits before she left, I now have to rely on her own perception, and the risk that she may not really think much of me is quite a grand risk that imposes itself upon me.

But I will still endeavor in it, regardless of the consequences. I will wait for her for two mere weeks. When that opportunity arises, albeit not as perfect, not as timely as two weeks prior, I will still walk up to her with all confidence. I will look sincerely into her eyes, and smile at her genuinely. And then I will tell her what I so wanted to tell her before she left for the states for those two weeks…


Yes, I will venture. Yes, I will try. For it is worth it.

.:Cryptic To The Very End:.

This is where you would rather be when someone like Mr. Calassanz intimidates you with his mere presence:

Mr. Calassanz will always be an enigma to me. He will always be a mystery I can’t quite comprehend, much less elucidate for myself. It’s quite intimidating to be around him, really. This is the man who has had urban legends about him spread all over campus like wildfire, and with each year, people are treated to the “Why not?” anecdote about him, which apparently never happened. What’s even more unnerving about him is how he seems to be reading your mind every single time he looks at you, yet you have no idea what he’s thinking at the same moment.

With that being said, I can’t believe I didn’t bring this up during my graduation recall post. He was one of the teachers I approached after graduation, and after the requisite congratulations, I simply told him, “Hope to see you soon.”

Mr. Calassanz, in all his pomp and aura of superiority…

… laughed.

… and laughed.

… and laughed some more.

I have no idea if he was laughing at me because I’ve been taking such a long road just to end up teaching (Hopefully.), or if he’s laughing at me as if to tell me that I’m not going to be teaching anytime soon, or if he’s laughing with me over my graduating, or if he was just laughing for the sake of laughing. I really don’t. Mr. Calassanz was, without a doubt, being cryptic. Either that, or I was just being paranoid.

Whatever happens, I still have to give Mr. Calasanz credit where credit is due. That time that he said, “Magpaka-ugat ka.” to me was a moment where I had to figure out just what he meant. I don’t know if teaching Philosophy is what he wanted to convey to me, but I know this is what I want that to mean to me. I’d like to think that in spite of the influences, I still chose this on my own. Ergo, I’m not betraying two years of Philosophical instruction on the nature of freedom…


Just in case it pushes through, the 2bU interview I transcribed for you jabronis last week might come out this Wednesday. In any case, it wouldn’t be anything my readers haven’t seen before, excluding Melissa’s byline and the newsprint…

.:The Pipe Dream Of Stardom:.

I’m sure some people would scoff at the idea that I’d go and be a commercial model. I myself scoff at it from time to time. Still, I noticed an increasing amount of people asking me if I wanted to be a television star or something to that effect. Just today, as I was going down from the MRT, headed to the Ateneo for my job interview with Fr. Que, this is what happened…

Random Guy 1: Hey, do you want to be on Channel 2?

Marcelle: Nope. I already have a contract (Obviously a lie.).

And then, when I was walking towards the U.P. Campus jeepney, another guy walks up to me…

Random Guy 2: Do you want to go to Japan?

Marcelle: No (Another lie, but I don’t think he meant go there and watch anime, or hang around with hot Japanese girls…).

What is it with these people? ::laughs:: I do like the attention, but I really can’t commit myself to those full time, which is why the first and only time I bit a potential contract offer is with Mr. Regis, who is less of a TV scout and more of a commercial model scout. I can handle being a commercial model, as it’s not as hectic as being a TV personality, and once again, I have to reiterate: I don’t intend to count my chickens before my eggs hatch. Until I sign that contract, I expect nothing.

With that being said, I spoke to my dentist about my braces this morning, and she says it’d take me at least six months before they can take it off. That’s pretty long, but what I’m hoping is that Mr. Regis wouldn’t mind if I went for ceramic braces instead, so that they wouldn’t be as noticeable as the regular ones happen to be… but whatever, neh? It’s not like I’d ever expect to make it big in this particular industry, right?

.:The Job Interview:.

I was never one to count my chickens before my eggs hatch (That line again?), but I really have a good feeling about my chances of being a teaching assistant for Fr. Que. He was referring to me as though I already had the job for the most part, telling me to take 9 units instead of 6 because his load for me will be fairly light, among other things he was recommending to me, such as getting certain readings, asking about prerequisites I ought to take, and the like. I don’t want to be presumptuous, but it seemed Fr. Que was already talking to me as though I already got the job.

However, if I do have the job, it wouldn’t be until the first semester of this schoolyear, which leaves my summer open for a roma… I mean, a job. Maybe a prosperity dance every night or something. Seriously, I would want to do that summer workshop Elbert was offering me to teach. Ah, well. We’ll see how that pans out. Fr. Que was very nice, though, and I like the way he put his lack of a need to rely on his teaching assistants when he teaches: people paid good money for HIM, not his T.A.

If I get the job, I’ll be with him on his class more or less every Tuesdays and Thursdays, 10:30 AM -12:00 NN. Those who’re taking Philo 104 might want to take his class, knowing the little favor I do at the end of each semester… ::winks::

Sunday, March 28, 2004

.:Enough With The Vituperation:.

I think I’ve had an overdose of Hata-rade for the past few weeks. I’ll try to get my mind off of it for now, so I suppose we can talk about some lighter stuff for the time being.

Abby’s leaving for the States today. She’ll be having a two-week vacation, and she’d be in New York until around April 3, though I’ve no idea where she intends to go prior to that. I was trying to ask her about whether or not she’d want to catch Josh Groban, and then on a stroke of sentimentality, I asked her for e-mail updates.

Abby: Why would you want me to update you at all times?

I had to find something to say and save face, but silly me came up with…

Marcelle: Because… because I like… Josh.

Okay. Now that sounded gay.

Marcelle: I just like his songs… forget it. I guess my mind is working slower than my mouth right now…

And so, Abby is going to U.S. today, with a smile in her heart, a lot of laurels for her to rest upon momentarily, and skewed notions about my masculinity. I wish she didn’t have to have the latter, but the fish is caught by the mouth.

.:More RX Stuff:.

I failed to talk about these RX snippets that I completely forgot to talk about…

First of all, I realized that it wasn’t Delamar doing the voice acting for the Stick-On plugs, but Danielle. I found that weird, because I got so used to Delle being the one doing all the itsy voices for their station, starting from Kikay of “Kikoy and Kikay” fame. Danielle’s delivery was funny, though. I loved that line about Harry Potter…

Ooh, Harry. What’s that under your invisible cloak?

During the show yesterday, though, Chico and Delle were talking about going on television today, for Ricky Reyes’ Beauty School Plus. I was naturally curious about what they’d intend to do there.

Marcelle: So, are you guys going to have makeovers?

Delamar: No. Just an interview.

Marcelle: ::does an impression of Ricky Reyes before speaking up:: so he’d be asking you what you do with your hair?

Delamar: Maybe.

Marcelle: And then he’d tell everyone not to do what you do…

Nearing the Generation RX turnover, though, they had fun coming up with a new topic. They wanted to go for something fun and zany. Ergo, they had the weirdest suggestions, but they ended up choosing a very sober one. Still…

Delamar: We should’ve tried asking, “Would you have sex with a sexy midget”?

Chico: Yeah! Would you, Marcelle?

Marcelle: No.

Chico: How about if she had a gorgeous face, big chest, and so forth?

Marcelle: No.

Chico: What if she were a hot, Chinese midget?

Marcelle: Uhh… no.

Chico: Did you hear him hesitate, Delle? Looks like he considered it!

Marcelle: I did not!

Chico: But why not?

Marcelle: Because she’s a midget?

Delamar: How discriminatory!

Marcelle: Uhh… I’m racist already. What’s a bit more discrimination?

.:Shigi-Shigi Ua!!!:.

Finally, they decided to show my favorite episode of Shaider, the Mashiba episode. That was the only reason I was trying to catch Shaider on TV for the longest time, and now, I caught it today!

I didn’t get to watch the start of the show, but I opened the television to see some kids on some rooftop dancing around, and then going medieval on Annie, who tried to figure out what was happening with them. Then, Shaider tries to rescue her, and the bad guys were too stupid and told him outright what the plan was: spread the Mashiba flower (Where’re the Viva Hotbabes when you need them? Lots of jokes on that idea alone…), infect everyone with the virus that will make them dance the Mashiba dance, then they will all become warlike and vicious, and if it spreads enough, the whole world will be destroyed.

It was funny, because Shaider was trying to figure out how to stop the epidemic, which was a hopeless cause, as everyone whom he tried to take the flower from fought back, and then later on, as Dr. Ang was dancing in some place, the Japanese song playing that Dr. Ang was dancing to changed into the “Shigi-shigi” song, and everyone was dancing the Mashiba dance again. For some strange reason, Dr. Ang was unaffected by the virus, and Annie and Alexis tried to get him away from the place, as they then began to search for a cure. There is a vaccine against the flower, but Miraculin takes two weeks to prepare.

In the meantime, the virus was spreading fast. The president (Shouldn’t that be prime minister?) of Japan, in an interview, said that the world is getting soft because of peace. Wartime must come, and World War III was alluded to have begun with one week to go before the vaccine is finished. Alexis and Annie devise a plan to stop the spread of the virus and then administer the vaccine, by publicizing the availability of the vaccine. Naturally, Shaider’s enemies are gullible enough to go there, try to get the vaccine, with the monster who produces the Mashiba virus. If I were them, I’d go there full force except with the monster. In fact, if I were them, I’d let Shaider relax for five episodes, then attack with five monsters, fifteen flying ships, and five huge Puma Lear battleships. Let’s see Shaider and Annie take those guys down.

So Shaider baits them all, and he manages to defeat the monster in a battle scene in Time-Spacewarp with more special effects than the usual episode. Then, the doctors producing the vaccine against Mashiba kick the distribution process into high gear, and inject those infected with the virus, and the infected people fell in line. That last part was what made me scratch my head. Aside from the feasibility of administering the vaccine (And remember: a vaccine is supposed to be given before getting the disease. Not after. That’s an antidote!) to everyone affected in the world, aside from having World War III just stop simply because the vaccine was handed out, how did they gather those carriers without having them put up a fight in the clinic, and have them actually willingly fall in line? The inanity of it all brings a smile to my heart.

Wherever you are, Alexis, you will be remembered.


In no particular order, just a reminder to myself about people I have to bug for the next few weeks… or just wait patiently for, if ever…

1. Bobi Bonifacio
2. Adi Co
3. Connie
4. Ivan
5. Sharleen
6. Memoy
7. Pearl
8. Kimberly Lim
9. Rachelle Sy

Speaking of backlog, I just need to get my IR port from my aunt’s house tonight, and you’ll be seeing a few images soon enough…
In My Life Medley
by Aiza Seguerra

There are places I remember
All my life
Though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone
And some remain

Though I know I'll never ever lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life
I loved you more

Though the music is sweet
But the song ain't complete
Now in my life
Boy, in my life
Somethin' is missing

It's a tune, yes it's true
Still there's no me and you
Here in my life
Boy, in my life
Somethin' is missing

In my life
There ain't no melody, oh no
In my life
There ain't no harmony
To help me sing a song

Oh the music is sweet
(There are places I remember)
But the song ain't complete
Now in my life
(All my life)

Somethin' is missing
(Though some have changed)
It's a tune, yes it's true
(Some forever, not for better)

Still there's no me and you
(And some have gone)
Here in my life
Somethin' is missing
(And some remain)

In my life there ain't no melody oh no
(All these places have their moments)
(With lovers and friends)
(I still can recall)

In my life there ain't no harmony
(Some are dead and some are living)
To help me sing this song
(In my life)
(I loved them all)

All I need is a cue
Well, I'm waiting for you
Here in my life
(But of all these friends and lovers)
Boy in my life
(There is no one compares with you)
You are the melody (melody)

'Cause in my life
(In my life)
(I know I'll often stop and think about them)

You are the song
(I loved you more)

You are the melody to me
(I loved you more)

Baby, in my life
(I loved you more)

You are the song...
(I loved you more...)

You must enjoy rending people's hearts, Ms. Seguerra, for finding the perfect melody to haunt my soul. Here are two songs that simply hit me hard, and I still can't get up from it... I thought I'd find a catharsis from this, and yet the tears refuse to fall, and the pain just keeps on coming.

Now, the third person kicks in. It simply can't be avoided... but just refer to My Livejournal for part of the post, if you give a damn about it. I don't want to impose all the sadness upon you... let the unsent letters suffice if you choose. :)

.:Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda: The Unsent Series, Part IX:.

Indeed, "Shoulda, coulda, woulda" are the last words of a fool. I guess that's exactly what I am...

Dear Torch,

You and Marcelle never really spoke to each other when we had the chance. And yet he knows that he truly is happy for you. With each passing moment, the pain somehow overwhelms him. Much as he would want to ignore it, much as he would want to say that where you both stand is something he is content with, the pain gets in the way of how he wishes to regard you. He don?t want to wake up one day, bitter over having invested so much of himself into being a good friend to you. He don?t want to drown in bitterness over someone who doesn?t deserve it just because she has an inexplicable effect on Marcelle when the memories come crashing in.

Maybe you both can talk, Torch. Marcelle hopes that wherever your respective paths may lead you, you and he can work this out, as you both always have. God knows he doesn't want to say goodbye to this friendship you have shared for the longest time.


Dear Revelation,

It's amazing how you've become a welcome and most valued part of Marcelle's day. At the last possible minute, you just came into his life like a flash of lightning on a sunning morning, and he can't help but be caught off guard. It's just sad that he never had enough time to get to know you better, and the race against time is very clear indeed...

Marcelle recognizes that you haven?t really known each other for so long, and so he has no right to expect to be able to count on you when despair comes and swallows him whole, leaving him without anyone to speak to, without anyone to turn to. Much as Marcelle would want to trust you, he has to ask for your forgiveness, but he feels that you are not yet willing to accept the measure of trust that this man would have, knowing his mentality of ?D.T.A.?

And so now he's bereft of a chance to see you one last time when it should matter, as is the case with one of your friends. An immense rush of regret flows into Marcelle, and unlike you, moving on without any resolution simply does nothing for him. Rest assured that he won't want to place such a burden on you, though. He doesn?t want to make you feel like he's unloading any angst on you. Marcelle doesn?t want to make you feel as though he were assuming you?re already close when it?s your prerogative and not his to say so.

You remind Marcellee so much of a special mentor he has. She?d always have a fond place in his heart for all the help she has given him, and for all the memories they have shared. Marcelle would like to think that you, a completely different person, in spite of the similarities, are someone whom he would gladly consider as a great friend, and a wonderful person to confide unto. But that choice remains with you, lest he shoots himself in the foot yet again.


Dear Moonshine,

Marcelle doesn?t know what to say. He cannot help but feel an extreme amount of guilt for not having gone out of his way to search for you and make you feel better when he had the opportunity. Marcelle was too busy hoping in futility that things would turn out well for him where he stood, and yet there you are.

Marcelle cannot blame you if you feel a bit intimidated by his affection for you. After all, you might misconstrue it as a way for him to transcend the Divine, but you both know he cannot just do that. Not while the Divine and he are as one. Marcelle wishes that you can find someone worth showering your moonshine upon, for he realizes that in all likelihood, even if the circumstances were different, that cannot be him. Nobody who knew him ever really appreciated me in that way. Marcelle was either always this funny friend of theirs, or this extremely brainy tool they had to get ahead in studies from time to time. It?s as though ?Marcelle? were a brand name for an encyclopedia. You were one of the few who appreciated him as more than that: as a good friend, even. Yet like him enough to regard upon him the Blue accolade? Ah, that is but wishful thinking.

If Marcelle were to love another, it could?ve very well been you. But Marcelle is not so inclined to love another at this point in his life. Regardless, he believes it was worth pointing this fact out to you, although he highly doubts that you would realize that he speaks of you, unlike the far more perceptive Scarred, for whom this letter could seemingly follow, all the same.

Godspeed to you, Moonshine.
.:I Suppose You Know What This Is About?:.

Effective 28 March, 2004:

12. Kimberly Lim (New)
11. Clarence Lim (Same)
10. Sharleen Tan (Down)
09. Chiyo (Down)
08. Edenjoy Dy (Down)
07. Jack Sing (Down)
06. Rowena Monteverde (New)
05. Charlene Chua (Up)
04. Rachel Reyes (Same)
03. Sacha Chua (Down)
02. Daph Villanueva (Down)
01. Diane Sayo (Up)

No longer in list:

Faye Reyes (Might already be in violation of rule #1…)
Barbie Co (Had to parse it down to 12…)

Saturday, March 27, 2004


Remember that VTR I was supposed to have for some talent scout? Well, it was more like a photo session to check if I was really photogenic, by the end of it. Grace and I met up at Ayala prior to going there, though, as I wanted to have her with me…

I swear, Grace is so showbiz. While she was waiting for me to finish my “pictorial”, she was chatting with the girl who found me, and it was really interesting.

Grace: So you “discovered” him? He’s really nice, really down-to-earth. A bit arrogant at times, though, when he knows he has the right to be.

Roni: Yeah. I was asking him if he wanted to be a model, but I think he heard something else (Actually thought I heard if I “had a girlfriend”- Marcelle), so he answered that he already had one. I thought to myself, “Oh, no! Please don’t be under contract already…”

Grace: That’s nice.

Roni: Are you his girlfriend? (She doesn’t know Grace is my girlfriend…)

Grace: I’m just his best friend.(Wow! Denial queen!- Marcelle)

Roni: Does he have a girlfriend, then?

Grace: Yes, he does.

Roni: How does she look like? Maybe we can use her as a model as well.

Grace: She’s… okay. (Wushu! Humble! - Marcelle)

They were having a nice chat, while the head of the agency, a French guy named Regis, was taking my pictures, while someone whom I presume is his wife looked on. They said I was okay, but I had to lose the braces… we’ll see how that pans out, though. If this is going to be just a short-term deal, I can’t see why I wouldn’t go for this. Pretty interesting line of work, along with the nightly prosperity dance…

Grace and I then wanted to go to Megamall, but the funny thing is, she made us board a jeepney that was going to go to Sacha’s house. And then she thinks I’m fixated on Sach? Heh. I then showed her some of the graduation pictures I acquires at that point, and then she pointed out Diane’s…

Grace: I like her creative picture more. It’s more creative.

Yes. I thought so too, dear. :)

.:One Day After Graduating, And Marcelle Rolls Out:.

… I couldn’t sleep after the whole thing because of so many things going through my head. Out of sheer frustration, I decided to go to RX instead at 4:30 in the morning. I ended up boarding with Troy from Radio 1 as well for his “All Out Roll Out Show”, which he usually hosts with Jojo. It was fun, really. He was asking me what I was up to, so I told him I was just so pumped up after the graduation, that I couldn’t sleep. Then I started talking about the “nightly grind” and the “prosperity dance”, with matching steps, and to this moment, I don’t think he could get that image out of his head.

He was talking about the fact that there are some really interesting callers and texters out there when he gets lucky (Looks like he knows how to put this job to his advantage. Silly me forgot to record the important numbers of people making very enticing comments, as our topic was whether or not you have lost your virginity.

Troy: So, Marcelle, have you lost your virginity yet?

Marcelle: Stop depressing me… I haven’t yet.

Mental note: according to the higher-ups, mentioning you have a girlfriend is a no-no. Okay. No problem. One of the Friendster accounts of the people there, though, happened to be pretty nice. Either the girl was using fake pictures, or she did really look like Barbie Xu. That’s nosebleed material for me… heh. Actually, throughout the show, that’s all Troy and I were talking about. I’m not 100% sure, but looks like this jabroni isn’t just talking the talk, but walking the walk. I couldn’t relate with the guys who said they scored with their teachers, though. And of all people to egg on me, Troy was insisting I try Sacha. I don’t think he knows what he’s talking about when it comes to that… even if I were to not have a girlfriend, the idea is bordering on plain absurd.

The talk on the air was great, and someone actually said that we had nice voices. Whoa! That’s a first for me, so I guess I ought to feel flattered about it. Still, there I was, looking for callers about our topic, and two of them were male (Gurk!), and then one of them was a girl who was only out to request. If I were a bit more desperate, I would’ve felt really bad about it, but I guess Grace is thankfully worth the wait… or I could refer to her method on “Chinese Flesh”, if I really am so inclined to…

.:Rolling Out, Then Rushing In The Morn:.

Unlike Troy, I stuck around for the Morning Rush with Chico and Delamar, and I had a very productive training with them. I was getting embarrassed with all the congratulations over my graduating Cum Laude, but it was all good. Raymond started off putting me over, though, by greeting me for my graduation after he gave his answer to the Hot 10. Things went smoothly for the most part, though. I was talking when they gave me the cue to do so, and my Generation RX delivery was really smooth. At one point, though, we had a caller on the Hot 10 who just came from a practice. The topic was “The Hot 10 Things You’d Say To Yourself In The Mirror”, and after the guy gave his answer, he then revealed he was only on his way home.

Apparently, he was practicing. While Chico was trying to ask what he was practicing for, I started to do the “prosperity dance”. I hit it on the head: he was practicing for the first anniversary of the Bisexual Club that he works for. Bisexual Club, yes. But he sure sounded gay (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.) to us, and didn’t seem to swing the other way at all. Chico was trying to ask what bisexuals eat for breakfast, though…

I noticed that Chico and Delle were referring to the Hot 10 by its old name, the Top 10, more often now. Apparently, considering how long they built up that title, dropping it altogether wasn’t smart, since other stations are now using it. Slowly but surely, they’re trying to ease it in as the Top 10 again, which I believe is a smart idea. Later on…

Chico: So Marcelle, what does a Cum Laude graduate from Ateneo do now?

Marcelle: In my case, study some more, as I try to apply for a teaching assistant.

Delamar: What? No vacation?

Marcelle: I have an interview this Monday.

Chico: What a geek! (Or is that “nerd”? - Marcelle)

Marcelle: I’m just the type who can’t stay around, doing nothing! I freak out when I don’t do anything…

Later on, off the air, Delle walks up to me, and goes…

Delamar: For the benefit of your sanity, why don’t you go to my side of the booth and handle the console so you’re not doing anything?

That was a first. I did Generation RX from there, which was hard, as I was doing my own stinger, playing my own commercials… wow. It was a nice way to get the hang of it, as I didn’t have too many mistakes, except when I was putting on the Survivor bed for the Hot 10, as it’s on the same MD as their AOB bed, so I have to switch tracks quickly in between the end of the AOB and the Hot 10 stinger. It was fine, though (”Marcelle, we’re just waiting for you to play the bed!!!”).

Overall, I really enjoyed this training. I’d be having a Radio 1 meeting tonight, though, so we’ll see what happens beyond that. Here’re a few hilarious snippets, though…

Ricky Cruise: How do you join that Bisexual Club, by the way?

Delamar: Ricky!!!

Chico and Delle had interesting things to talk about off air, but due to the confidential nature of it, I leave the details in the station, where I snagged them from… here’s something safe, though.

Marcelle: Eh? I didn’t know that Joko was gay…

Delamar: Marcelle! Duh!

Marcelle: I mean, Ernest would make sense, but Joko was so homophobc about Billy…

Chico: Whoa. That’s a beeyatchy comment! But wait… the contact lens don’t tell you he’s gay? (Was supposed to say something, but never mind… I’m sure you know what. - Marcelle)

How about the top blooper of the day?

Chico: So why don’t you drop by your favorite malls right now? Who knows? You might run over…. Uhh… run into the Gilbey’s Girls. *laughs uncontrollably* Delle, you do this…

Okay. So you can now run over the Gilbey’s Girls for free, eh?

And lastly…

Chico: Thank you, Marcelle! He may be geeky, but he has brains. (Uhh… if you use geek and nerd interchangeably, shouldn’t having brains follow? - Marcelle)

What a day… to think I hardly had any sleep, and went iron man for about five hours on the air… :)

.:Last-Minute Thank-You's:.

My gratitude to Mr. Bulaong for the help and moral support. Hope to see you soon. And Diane, thank you again. We've known each other for years, and I hope we'd stay in touch. To all those graduating today, my sincere congatulations to you. That means you too, Rowena. :)
This is it. You didn’t expect Marcelle, of all people, not to write about his own graduation, did you? The emotion runs high right now, which adequately explains the throwback to third person for most of the time. Indulge me. :)

Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)
by Baz Luhrmann

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of 2004...

Wear Sunscreen

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice- now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand
the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years
you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how
much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.

You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you.


Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.


Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind
the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing
this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.


Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. What ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own..

Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get,
the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.


Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time it’s 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen...

Everybody's free, everybody's free, everybody's free
Everybody's free, everybody's free, to feel good, to feel good

Brother and sister together will make it through oh, huh yeah
Someday a spirit will take you and guide you there
I know you've been hurting ,but i've been waiting to be there for you
And I'll be there, just helping you out whenever I can

Everybody's free ohh yea yeah
Oh Every ho yeah
Oh to feel good
Ohh to feel good*
(** chorus :
Everybody's free, everybody's free
Everybody's free, everybody's free, everybody's free, to feel good)

.:When The Hype Is Over:.

As far as Marcelle can see, when the hype is over, graduation is pretty much all that it’s cracked up to be. The roller coaster of emotions that engulfs one’s whole being is a rush that few events in your own life can ever quite match, much less surpass. College graduation is all the more special, knowing that this is your final salvo. Your last chance to see some of your friends before all of you become far too busy to enjoy the things you got away with when you were still in college. Your last chance to drop feelers to someone you liked all this time, especially those who… err… didn’t show up at the Blue Roast. Ultimately, parting is such sweet, sweet misery, as the cliché goes.

I’d be the first to admit that I was more or less anticipating that the waterworks would just come on for me that night, but what do you know? It just didn’t happen. I guess that for all the “lasts” graduation happens to pose to all of us, I, for one, don’t really feel any sort of closure upon graduating. I’d rather view it as a kind of transition that all of us made, where some things will change, and some things will still stay the same. I know Jen Simons was crying for most of the time, I think Rose was as well, among a lot of other people. But before we begin to talk about what happened after all of us have thrown our “diplomas” into the air out of sheer joy over the closing of this chapter, let’s look at the things that transpired on the day itself, leading all the way to this indescribable and incomparable moment. Don’t ask me to play the numbers game for that day, because I had more than I could count. :)

.:A Morning That Felt Like Eternity:.

Chico and Delamar were kind enough to start my day off quite optimistically by greeting me on the air. So my mom and I didn’t take too long, and we went straight off to the ADMU High School Covered Courts for the Baccalaureate Mass, where my mom was having fun pointing out all the priests she knew, as she was also an alumna of ADMU. In any case, it seems Kendra’s father is an acquaintance/friend of my parents, as the name on the list seemed extremely familiar…

The mass in itself was pretty nice. The sermon was prepared, though. Too prepared, that is. I would’ve rather had a casual sermon from the priest, and then he’d end up trying to scramble for some way of linking whatever he had to say with the actual theme of the mass. Still, it wasn’t so bad. I wasn’t around too many familiar people, but I had to make it a point to find most of the people I know, particularly from the SOM and S&E courses, whom I’d have a harder time finding since they’d be graduating today. That’s the nice and the sad thing about our graduation: it’s short, but you end up being robbed of the chance of meeting some of your friends from the other schools for one last time, the way I didn’t run into Rowena or Kim…

Afterwards, my mom left to go home, and I was simply making the most out of my time. I found Sarah Lee, and I was pretty sure Cami wouldn’t be too far off. I had pictures taken again, this time from my phone (I swear. A new, reliable digital camera would be in order for me soon.). Cami wrote a dedication on her picture to me, and I have to reiterate: the minute she found out that I liked her, she never let me hear the end of it. Even the dedication was testament to that…

To My #1 Fan:

You like me! You reeeeeally like me!

Good luck with everything! See you around! :)


Sarah was laughing at me for the most part. Now that she knows that Cami knows about it for sure, I guess she was prolly going to end up chiming in on me as well. Still, it was all good. I had fun talking with them, and Sarah had a pretty nice thing to say to me on her dedication… let’s just say that I didn’t even realize I was doing what she said until she pointed it out…

Ei Marcelle,

Cheers! We are graduating (Or have graduated.)! I thank you for all the witty remarks (
Witty? That’s a first! :) - Marcelle) you made to keep the classes from being boring. Hope to hear you on RX 93.1! Take care now!


Also ran into Diane after that bit, and then I went out to start getting myself ready for the SOH and SOSS segment of the practice. I was trying to find Eden and Daph at the time, though Eden wasn’t even there yet (Missed our practice completely.), and Daph was outside, so I had to meet with her later. The anticipation throughout the whole affair was plainly electric. The practice was relatively smooth, with only one retry, and then Fr. McNamara was extremely fun, and so forth. I didn’t really get to thank and congratulate Kendra properly, as we were both busy for the most part, her being obviously more occupied than I ever was that day…

While we were lining up, the honor students of each course were asked to be first before the alphabetical listing. What made this amusing was that April Rojales simply appreciated this setup more than anyone else, as she still had certain things to consider… ah, well. At least that’s out of her hair by then. I was between Dior and Pia Faustino, so I never had a dearth of interesting conversations, and behind Pia was Carren Jao. Willard was in front of Dior. What can I say? Marcelle was sandwiched between some of the greatest minds of this year’s Comm Batch. The Comm students were, according to my count, the second or third program with the most number of honor students behind Management and M.E., though I may have been mistaken with the latter.

After the practice, I then exchanged pictures with Daph. She’s a really great person, and I realize why she placed pretty high in the CP list for the longest time (Have the rankings changed? Find out soon!). I’m glad to have known a person as great as she is, and I’m pretty sure that like most of the other friends I’ve had in college who do matter, I’d well keep in touch with them all, somehow. Hence, exactly why I keep this weblog…

Hi Marcelle,

What can I say? You’re one interesting person talaga! Hehe :) I hope we’ll run into each other often in the future. I know you’ll make it big one day (In your own way.). Good luck and TC always!

Keep In Touch!

Went online for a bit before going back to the High School area to hopefully look for people like Jack, Clarence, and Adi. Found nearly all of them, truth be told. I also got grad pics from them, although not in Adi’s case. She said she didn’t want to run out of them so soon. I’ll take her word for it. I was then about to go back, when I ran into Daph again. We had pictures together (The sunlight wasn’t kind to us. Ergo, our shots were shadowy…), and I then wished her well for one last time before she graduated (I don’t think I’d be able to show up at their graduation… no invites for me…). It was great.

Jack was likewise her charming self when I was talking to her, and Dione wasn’t being awkward around me anymore. In fact, she was the friendliest she’s been to me throughout the time we’ve known each other. John and Jeci were around as well, and they were pretty cool people. Bobby Benedicto had spiked hair, and I must say, that jabroni, like him or hate him, does deserve some measure of credit for all the things he’s done. Afterwards, it was lunchtime…

.:Oh, This Is Good:.

Elbert was with someone whose name escapes me right now over at Blue Skies, playing Battlefield. After they were done, we went to KFC, where Peppy popped in on us shortly thereafter. Everyone had a good laugh over Sacha’s very disturbing comments about her computer (“Pleasurable” was never quite a word I’d use to describe a computer… nor would I refer to it by inches without saying “monitor” after each measurement.), and when Peppy quoted Sach as saying that she’s “more keen on smaller sizes now than bigger sizes”, I immediately quipped at Elbert…

Marcelle: Elbert, puwede ka na! Maliit pala yung size na gusto niya, kaya pala wala akong pag-asa, e. (Elbert, you’re okay! She actually wants a small size. No wonder why I don’t stand a chance.)

Lots of gay jokes thrown about, especially questioning Elbert’s taste in… men. Charles? Chinese? Check. Glasses? Check. Flat-chested? Check. Female? Uhh… not even all the checks can make for an exception, you see. I just felt bad for Gio, as he’s not graduating…

We then headed off to CCHQ, and I ran into Abby and Bro along the way. Poor Abby lost her bag. Someone stole it from her, and I swear, the timing was really lousy. I’m glad Abby’s not like me, though, so she didn’t let that setback ruin her day. She is the Program Awardee, after all… (And upon further investigation, I would’ve been third or fourth in line, so no amount of “tidying up my resume” could’ve upped my standing, anyway. With that being said, *poof* went the “shoulda, coulda, woulda”. They are, after all, the last words of a fool…)

Peppy was having fun looking at the Chobits cards. I swear… Peppy and I have racked up more inside jokes in a span of one semester than Elbert and I have in two years. Must be the really fertile common ground…

.:Here We Are, Born To Be Princes Of The Universe:.

Pardon the gender insensitivity of the title of this section. Would’ve taken the impact away if I went “princes and princesses”. Ergo, a bit of indulgence would help Marcelle along here…

While the SOH and SOSS graduates were around the High School area again, I ended up seeing Jason, and his former S.O., Tin. Cammy (Gah! I know too many Cammy’s!), Elbert’s S.O., was likewise there. We had a few pictures, and then finally, Grace came along. I was happy, really. She made my day complete, and though I can’t post the whole thing with the pictures yet, rest assured they’ll be up soon enough. Arguably the best hug I ever had for the entire day came from Grace. It was as though I was hearing her promise me over and over that everything will be all right, and things can only get better for us from this point on.

My mom and my stepdad soon arrived thereafter, and they were chatting a bit with Grace before she left. Would’ve wanted her to be there for the ceremonies, but she’s also graduating the following day, and had to treat her hair for the momentous occasion. Soon enough, I was already hanging around the waiting area for the graduates, where I was sharing some nice chatting with Don and Darn, as we were talking about how our thesis went. Marcelle had a flash of arrogance there, though…

Marcelle: It was better for me to pick Imo, because I didn’t think having personal matters here and there could always be beneficial. Besides, I ended up having a great friend in Imo after the fact. Imagine if Abby were my thesis partner…

Don: But Abby doesn’t need a thesis partner.

Marcelle: Neither did I. (And truth be told, neither did Imo. But it helped! It helped! Two brilliant minds are better than one… :) )

Don: Whoa! Hanep ka naman bumanat, Marcelle! (Whoa! What a comment, Marcelle!)

I then found Elbert, and he did me quite a favor… he took a picture of me and Abby. Think about it… we’ve been friends for eight years, but this is the first time we had a picture together. I swear, this was the first… Dione was thinking if Bro would get jealous, though. I think Abby would get jealous if I had a photo with Bro, but I digress ::winks:: . Didn’t get to hobnob much with Eden or Diane afterwards, though (There’ll be more time for that in the future somehow…). Glenn was kind enough to introduce me to Jonsi, though, who apparently shares my taste for the Chinese culture… I ought to add him to my LJ list soon… ran into old friends like Luis Geronimo and John Paul Calumpang as well.

I had unexpected exchanges of pictures with Zen and Je-An, but they were very great, nonetheless. I especially appreciated their comments, as it simply made me feel all the more justified with how I carried myself for the past four years. Je-An and Zen weren’t exactly two of my biggest fans during my first two years in college, so having all of that overshadowed by the good times really made me realize that we’ve all come a long way.

From Zen:


One of the great minds of our batch :P A dj, a wrestling fan… who knows what else you’ll be able to accomplish after the grad :P Good luck in your endeavors!

-Zen :P

Even I would have to admit, though, that Zen sounds better on the air than I do… ah, well. I know she’ll be doing very well in the future, though. She’s got that drive to succeed…

From Je-An:


Hey! Congrats on ur graduation! :) a well-deserved one… hope u fund ur place when we get in2 d real world… we’re all anxious, but what d heck? We’re Comm all the way! :)


All the best wishes you gave me can and will also apply to you, Je-An. :) You earned it.

.:Shall We March?:.

As Macho Man’s entrance music (Pomp And Circumstance.) played throughout the HS Covered Courts, we started walking in, and I noticed my mom happened to be seated beside Luis’ mother. I also saw Mr. Jim Paredes taking photographs along the way. Anyways, we marched in, then after the opening fanfare, Kendra gave her valedictory address. She was very tongue-in-cheek about it, if a bit not-so-PC, but overall she didn’t sound so stuffy or formal, which actually helped. I know a lot of people feel that it should’ve been Bobby Benedicto or Pablo Singson up there as Valedictorian, but I stand behind Kendra on this one… the quip on her being in PAGASA after graduation sounded a bit true to form, though, considering her specialty in Physics.

Afterwards, Fr. Bernas spoke, and he was likewise very entertaining. I really liked his message about trying to restore some sanity into this country, and how scary it is to speak to graduates, compared to speaking to the Supreme Court. He was very witty, and he really captivated the audience here…

A bit more fanfare later, and the graduates were being announced. The people were popping heavily for the honor students (Though significantly less for the Honorable Mentions. Don’t do that! Some of them needed just half a grade more to get to Cum Laude! I should know: ) !), the UAAP players, and Maricar, the mom who decided to study college in her 30’s or 40’s, I believe. However, the Comm students just brought the house down. Abby had arguably the most applause when she was announced as the Program Awardee (Pardon me if I did a 180 and I’m now beaming over her like Hades.), and Trixie got her fair share as well. She happened to be Magna Cum Laude, after all… still, who got the most applause is beside the point.

I stood on that stage, and the emotions were all there. Like Kendra, I regret having not made the most out of my time. I wanted to be close to certain people like Rowena, or Cami, but I know that I can only be grateful for how far I actually got in spite of the limited time I had. People like them remind me that the quantity of time can and will be surpassed by the quality of time when it comes to nurturing friendship. I felt joy, all the same. All of us there have come a long way. And for once in my academic life, I actually felt… appreciated. Soon enough, when all the graduates were announced, the Alma Mater song was played, and people were already fighting back the tears. I would’ve wanted to just go and be teary-eyed as well (How often can I do that in public and get away with it, neh?), but I guess it just wasn’t the case. The closest I got to it was when Abby and I ended up hugging one another. I’ve said everything that I can say to her already. No words were needed.

Amid all the hugging, all the picture-taking, all the merry-making, I have to admit that I feel I have been working towards justifying my existence. And I know that more or less 800 other people have done the same that night.

.:And Then:.

We slowly filed out of the place a while later, and I didn’t find Eden or Diane anymore. Still, it was okay. We soon left for home, to fetch my siblings, as we were going to have dinner at Yellow Cab. Had very nice exchanges on SMS with the likes of Maia, Sam, and Abby, who borrowed her mom’s phone for the moment. Would’ve transcribed Abby’s message, but she may not agree to it… Here’s a funny exchange between, me and Sach…

Since I won’t be there tomorrow, I just thought I’d thank you for being the teacher I never had. :) Kahit konti, natuto ako ng Java. :) (Even by just a bit, I learned Java.)

Aww, congrats!

Special mention has to go to Rowena, though. I really would’ve given her a Blue Rose had I known her a bit longer (I mean, if Dione seemed a bit awkward with it, I had to assume the same with Rowena…). Turns out she’s also a really good sport (And to reiterate, she looks like Ma’am Sining, which I mean as a huge compliment to both people concerned.), after all… she walked into my “trap”, after all…

I didn’t win in the Blue Roast nominations I got, but I swear, your dedication kept me from feeling bad. Would’ve given you a blue rose, but thought against it.

That would’ve been really sweet :)! It’s enough for me to know that you would’ve given me one :). Am glad you appreciated my dedication.

Rowena… you wouldn’t happen to be… Chinese… would you? :)


So it’s over. Finally. I’m now a graduate, and destiny awaits. I can only hope that all the people who graduated with me who also touched my life in different ways would all be able to embark on their respective journeys towards their ultimacy. Sans one axe to grind (Have someone owe you lots of money and you’d know why.), I leave the Ateneo college life with no regrets save being unable to have been closer to people who mattered, being unable to get to know other people enough to matter, and being unable to touch their lives and allow them to touch my life. Beyond those that I did not do, no regrets can come with those that I have. As Abby put it, maybe someone can steal her Cum Laude medal, but they really can’t take that away from her, truth be told. Maybe I’d never see some of my friends again or at least in a long time, but this weblog is a living testimony to the significance these people have had in my life, and I hope to keep this memory alive.


Thursday, March 25, 2004

Expect a pretty long post from me on this one… this isn’t about the Blue Roast itself, though. More like my insights regarding it…

.:Should I Let Myself Feel Dejected?:.

I recall the moment when I was fighting for Cum Laude and felt that it was so uphill a battle, I had to make myself out to earn some measure of consolation by snagging either (But preferably both.) “Batch Gifted Child” and “Crush ANG Bayan”. Considering that Sacha won the former a year ago, winning that would’ve made me feel that I was certainly in good company. Unfortunately, the Blue Roast was not meant to be my “shining moment”, per se. In the categories I was nominated for, Bobby Benedicto bagged the “Gifted Child” (Certain other people weren’t happy about it, though, not including myself. I guess a prophet really isn’t welcome in his hometown, after all.); Glenn won “Crush ANG Bayan”, which proved to be surprising to the people who actually voted me.

Normally, I’d go here and either sourgrape about how “insignificant” these batch awards really are anyway, or I’d whine and moan about how I “deserved” to win the former because of all the help I rendered my classmates in Theo and Philo, and how I “deserved” to win the latter because, well, duh. I think it’s obvious why, neh?

However, now is not a “normal” circumstance for me. I choose to be happy, and these slight humps won’t get in the way. For once, I’m taking Ma’am Sining’s advice completely, and letting myself be happy over what I have instead of moping over what I didn’t get.

Let’s face it: my goal was Cum Laude. Anything beyond that was either icing on the cake or mere Consuelo de Bobo (A fool’s consolation.). I am Cum Laude. Not to say that being recognized as the batch genius (Especially with Sach as precedent… ::snaps fingers::), or being acclaimed for what most other people who know me well enough already are familiar with (That of my affinity with a certain kind of people… the Bayan in “Crush ANG Bayan”… Chinatown, to be exact.), but I got my main goal already. I know I’m the type who always wants the arm when I get the hand, but I think that a bit of prudence on my part would do me well, and since I’m smiling both within and without at this moment, I think I’m beginning to learn when to stop asking for more.

So to Bobby and Glenn, congratulations. The mere fact I was nominated ought to be enough for me already (Although I swear, the CAB award is something I know few people would dispute once they know me.). To my other friends who won their respective categories, such as Charles in “Master Stalker” and “Pasan Ko Ang Daigdig” (“I Carry The World”); Bro in “Drama King”; Carl Clemente as “Batch QUEEN”; Willard and Mich for the “Plume Award”; Bobby Bonifacio and Shar Tan for “Cut! Award”; and any other friends whom I may have missed, congratulations and see you jabronis in the future. This Blue Roast did little to increase my sentimentality, but it sure got me around to learning when enough is enough.

Most of all, to Abby, who will be graduating as our Departmental Awardee, my wholehearted congratulations. For this magical moment, the bitterness subsides, and only my sheer pride in the accomplishment of one of my most treasured friends ever stands out. I realize that this isn’t about me. It isn’t even about you. This is simply our story as a collective whole: we came into this world without having earned our entry into it, and in anything we do, irregardless of the recognition or lack thereof, if we believe we have given our all, that will always be adequate in heaven’s eyes.

.:On Sugarfree And Matchbox Twenty:.

by Sugarfree

Alam mo bang
Kanina pa ako magdamag
Nang nakatingin sa 'yo
At 'di mo lang alam
Sa gitna ng kadilimang
'Di mapakali, ako'y nabighani

'Di mo lang alam, inaasam
Ang panahong makapiling ka
Sa una't huling pagkakataon

Dahil dito, sa Mariposa
Ay mahirap ang nag-iisa
Dito, sa Mariposa
Ako lang yata ang nag-iisa

Matatapos ang gabing alam naman nating
Meron nang taning
Gigising sa katotohanang
'Di ka naman talaga akin

'Di mo lang alam, inaasam
Ang panahong makapiling ka
Sa una't huling pagkakataon

Dahil dito, sa Mariposa
Ay mahirap ang nag-iisa
Dito, sa Mariposa
Ako lang yata ang nag-iisa

Ayoko nang mag-isa
Ayoko nang mag-isa
Ayoko nang mag-isa
Ayoko na...

Sugarfree performed! Bah Gawd, I can’t help but feel that surge of joy when they sang one of my self-anthems (A sad anthem, but one that I stand for in defiance, nonetheless.) along with Matchbox Twenty’s “Unwell”, “Mariposa” (The name of some motel. Literally translates as “Butterfly”.). I love this song. It always humbles me and reminds me that my path of being a loner has led me to having relatively few and diverse friends (I hardly could say I belong to this clique or that barkada.), but those that I have, are more often than not, those worth keeping for a lifetime.

A true loner is never lonely. He chooses to be with those whom he holds dear, rarely bothers to conform to fit into the mold, yet doesn’t particularly stand out either. In spite of these seemingly demeaning realizations, what matters is that this loner holds onto friendships that do matter. Friendships that while do not hold together a single unifying cord except himself, this loner is indeed happy and content with that.

So maybe I’m just a little unwell and I don’t want to be lonely. Yet in these walls I have placed myself in, where my being a lone wolf is but a paradox of the wide range of people I connect with, these walls are my refuge: safe in the knowledge that I can touch different lives through my varied abilities. I am genuinely happy at this point. Any regrets, any frustrations, any other baggage I may have carried with me until the last moment of my college life, I carelessly toss into the wind. Perhaps some would come back, perhaps some would forever cease to haunt me. But that is a bridge I can cross only when I get there.

The insights Marcelle can glean from a mere performance of a song…

.:My Last Will And Testament…:.

… as my college self dies, yet becomes inextricably an immortal part of my existence. All these things I leave with each of you. Whether I carry on in whatever I have imparted with you, let it not be said that I have never given back to all those people who made a difference in my college life.

To my fellow graduates, both those whose paths have crossed with mine, and those who have not. I leave to you my warmest congratulations and my gratitude for giving me four years that I would willingly go through again, if needed be. We’ve come a long way, jabronis. Whatever the future may hold for us, what is of consequence is our moment of triumph over four or so years of laughter and tears.

To my blockmates and the rest of my fellow AB COM batchmates, who became an indelible part of my life, I leave you my fondest memories in my college life. Perhaps I wasn’t as close to most of you as I would’ve wanted to be, but rest assured that I treasure being a Communications major, if only to find myself in the company of people I respect and enjoy the company of, no matter what the circumstances may be. I cannot deny that regardless of where I would end up in the future, I would never want to turn back time and have chosen a different course.

To the Ateneo Debate Society, I leave you my catchphrases and quotable quotes. I was never among your elite, and I have only myself to blame for that, but it was a blast rubbing elbows with arguably Asia’s finest for the past four years.

To Dr. Sev Sarmenta, Mr. Lorenzana, and all my other college professors, I leave you my legacy, however meager it may have been. Thank you for having filled me with not merely knowledge, but the beginnings of wisdom as I go about this journey we all call life. I cannot help but believe that your different contributions to my growth have instilled in me a different viewpoint on things. I hope to call you my colleagues someday soon. Perhaps sooner than you all think.

To Mr. Jim Paredes and Ma’am Sining, I leave you the fruits of my exercise of my free will. The both of you have been the greatest “Advocates of Creativity” that I have ever had in my college life, and in whatever form or expression I find, I realize that you have both been there behind me each step of the way. Your indispensable pragmatic advice for life has never failed to guide me through each crisis or hurdle that I encountered over my college years.

To Dr. Barbazza, Mr. Bulaong, and Mr. Callassanz, I leave you my undying passion for Philosophy. In your different ways, you have all helped me find a road to fulfillment that I willingly choose without any imposition on your part. I am grateful to you for opening my eyes to this realization, no matter what the consequence of my endeavor may be.

To The Pantheon and the rest of the Wednesday Gang, I leave you my unyielding support. In all you may do, and in all you may go through, regardless of how many times we may fall out with one another, I’d always be around. You can count on that. Thank you for bringing joy to my Wednesdays, if only for the shortest time.

To Chico, Delamar, Brad Turvey, and the rest of RX 93.1, I leave you my indefatigable dedication to wake up at ungodly hours just to be there for you. Chico and Delle, you two were always great friends, as well as trainers. Radio 1 and my work experience with you two and the rest of RX will hopefully lead me to be working with you further in the near future. Chix and Delle, thank you so much for being such a great inspiration and influence in my life. Brad, you’ve likewise been a really good friend and genuinely nice person. I still owe you one for having let me talk with Pia Guanio.

To Ato, Elvin, Yaiba, Kendra, Angelo, Jobert, Franco, Gio, JB, Cyril, and the rest of the Calf Up people, I leave to you my fond recollections of moments of fun and laughter, and unparalleled musings over the serious and at times even melancholic. You jabronis are the closest thing I ever had to a barkada, and I’m grateful that you accepted me as your friend.

To all the people who were, are, and will be on the infamous CP list (I don’t think I ought to mention them all by name…), I leave you my fondest affection. I’m grateful to the most of you for being such great sports and having taken this whole long-running thing as a tongue-in-cheek deal. I’m grateful at having been friends with you people, and, and… ::nosebleed::

To Elbert, Mich, Don, and Angie, I leave you my confidence. I have trusted the four of you a great deal throughout my college life, and I must thank you all for having safeguarded the things that I have told you all in confidence. I also thank you for all the moral support and encouragement you’ve given me for the longest time, or in Elbert’s case, the ribbing meant to light a fire under me to do something, and the “non-breast” jokes.

To Ronan, Glenn, Kyle, Jason, MarkPoa, and the rest of my LJ/weblog buddies, I leave you my unparalleled mammoth posts. Every single time I hear feedback from you people, it always makes my day, knowing that people actually give a damn about what I have to say. And yes, I also care about what you have to say. A lot.

To Imo, I leave you the fruits of our long semester of work. You were the thesis partner that I picked out of nowhere, yet that choice was second to none. No issues, no personal considerations, just two acquaintances who are now relatively good friends who just wanted to get the job done. You can’t begin to understand how much I appreciate having been your thesis partner.

To Sacha, Peppy, and Eric Vidal, I leave you the little knowledge I have of binary code. Though we never really connected much when it came to computers, I’m inclined to believe that I have found great friends in you people, and arguably quite an inspiration for greatness in Sacha. Whether it be sitting in on CS 21B or videoke night or simply going to the arcades and playing Dance Maniax or Percussion Freaks, the moments in between was never at a loss for intelligent and meaningful conversation.

To Cami and Diane Sayo, I leave you my most heartfelt words of encouragement, gratitude, and endearment. The both of you have been very special people to me, especially this past year, whether with all the stories and jokes we shared, or simply the moments that you realized how much I appreciated your company, and appreciated me right back. I know I’d still run into you jabronis in the future, and I eagerly anticipate that moment. Thank you especially for being very beautiful human beings who never failed to brighten up my day.

To my parents, I leave you my achievements and milestones in my college life. None of this would have been possible without your being behind me emotionally, spiritually, and even financially every step of the way. In fact, I wouldn’t be here at all without my mom and my dad, nor would I flourish so much without my mom and my stepfather. When you hang that medal on me on my graduation day, I cannot help but believe that I should rather be hanging that medal on you.

To *jaded* and Tsumenki and the rest of Otakuboard, I leave you my great appreciation, care, and respect. Thank you, *jaded* and Tsumenki, for having been two of the best friends I have ever had in my life. Thank you, OB, for letting me find an online place I can call my home. While I expect no reciprocity, I still am elated to find some measure of it that you willingly accord to me. I’m exceedingly glad that you people have been there for me through thick and thin, and even when we had problems, we never failed to work it out. My hats off to the both of you wonderful, wonderful people.

To Abby, I leave you my unfailing loyalty and sense of worth to our friendship. I don’t know what I wouldn’t give to have you regard me likewise as your best friend, but wherever we stand at present, I am glad. I know how long our history goes, but with every single day we have spent as friends, I am more and more convinced that you are worth all of this regard. Without a doubt, you are that special a person in my life, in all these eight years we have known each other. I will always care, and I will always be around for you, come what may. This friendship has withstood the test of time, and amid all the questions and ambiguities, one thing is clear: this is a friendship worth holding onto.

To Grace, I leave you my love, devotion, and my heart. You and I have been together for four years and counting, and yet it seems just like yesterday when you and I encountered each other by pure chance through RX. You’ve been my greatest friend ever, you’ve been the one person who would go out on a limb for me even if I never had to ask you to. Ultimately, you’ve been the one person who made me feel truly special by making me feel worthy of being loved, of being cherished, and of simply being called someone’s “boyfriend”. You are my strength, my Earthly center. I know I’ve been far from perfect for you, but no matter how many hurdles our relationship has to overcome, no matter where we would stand days, weeks, months, or years from now, you can be sure that I will always be your best friend, and I will always love you, in whatever capacity that I may manifest such love. Truly, I have been saved by God’s Grace when you, my one-winged angel, came along, and gave merit to this one wing I likewise possess. I love you, Grace.

Most of all, to God, I give You the whole of my being, the whole of my existence. Nothing is possible without You. In whatever name people may know You, be it Yahweh, Jehovah, Allah, or Jesus, Your unmistakable presence, felt in every single thing in this world that feels too right to be coincidence, strengthens me, and humbles me. I am strengthened in the realization that there is Someone who is ultimate that watches over me and all of existence. I am humbled in the realization that this Someone will always be the benchmark that I strive for but never quite attain. Despite my inevitable imperfections, You, my God, are simply my telos, my ultimate end, par excellence, bar none.
This is mostly a person-based approach to recalling the Blue Roast. My bad if I glossed over certain parts, like meeting up with, say, Clarence Lim, or running into Abby and Bro together quite a lot, or other stuff like that. Contrary to the usual case (Especially anything related to Abby...), these things simply took a backseat to the stuff that happened, and it's my opportunity to give props where props are due with the people I ran into. pictures will find their way into the post when I get my IR bit going... heh. For now, I'd stick to two people there...


In spite of not having won the special awards I was gunning for, it can't be denied that I was still a very happy person. Two pecks on the cheek, five hugs, five blue roses given, five dedications, and ten graduation pictures would certainly do that to you.

Let's just say that given how this is the last night for us graduates to get together, there's no question how special the Blue Roast night simply was. While yes, I have to admit that the lull in between key segments throughout the whole deal proved to be quite a crowd-killer, when business picked up, boy, did it pick up. Food was pretty okay, and I was so relieved as I almost lost my food stub, only to find it safely in my bag. Whew. I would've starved had I lost that...

In any case, I was pretty happy with how tonight turned out. I realized that things were simply going fine, despite my ankle injury getting even worse, and my not capturing any awards (Though the five blue roses do remind people why I was nominated "Crush ANG Bayan" in the first place...). Cami, for instance, was very funny to be around with, for the most part, but we'll get to that later.

I was more or less around familiar ground, as people like Peppy, Don, Glenn, Jason, and so forth, were people I was conversing with for the most part. We had a lot of nice things to talk about, and fellow LJ'ers Glenn and Jason were both telling me that this is really a huge thing to post about. True, true. I'm about to hit twelve or so pages single-spaced with these two pieces on the Blue Roast alone, effectively ensuring that I won't be training for Radio 1 tomorrow, as it's already 2:57 in the morning and I'm still happily typing away here. Adi was very genial to me there. It was actually disorienting after two years of otherwise.

Other people I ran into were mostly occupied otherwise. For instance, Abby and Bro were together for the most part, and a good chunk of the Blue Roast staff were visibly harassed.

I guess with the certain people I managed to encounter that involved the numbers game I just listed, you might say that the whole of it has certainly made me feel exceedingly justified... lots of people were telling me that I should've won this or that award because they voted for me, some blamed the fact that it was Comm-dominated (W-ell, I'm Comm too, but I guess I know what they mean...), others simply bashed the winner ("To Hades with *****," would be an almost exact quote.), which made me feel the huge contrast between my High School and College: while I'm not more loved in College than I was in High School, I sure am Hades happen to be much less hated...

Performances such as fashion shows, games, bands, and dances were pretty okay. Still, CADS stood out for me, as that was the only performance barring Sugarfree that I really paid a lot of attention to. Those CADS people are really good.

I had nice run-ins with Imo (Second straight day I got into some measure of trouble with the people at the Computer Labs...) and Emily. I loved Emily's creative shot, by the way... and yeah, to put Emily over as I'll be doing that for Imo in a subsequent post, she's this really nice person whom I tried to help out in Philo last semester and then Theo this sem' I suppose it was really great, because she's one of those people who really made me feel that I was somehow making a difference. At the same time, Emily's really cute in a non-Chinese way...

.:On Kendra:.

Kendra was really nice, and exceedingly low-key about the fact that she's the 3.96 QPI girl who also happens to be our batch Valedictorian. She's so low-key that people who don't know her are talking about her in her presence! She just listens to them talk about this "superhuman Kendra", and whereas more egomaniacal people such as Marcelle would stay in and listen on what they have to say, Kendra would choose to leave and find less awe-struck company, like her boyfriend, Yaiba. She has a really nice dedication for me on the grad pic she gave me, and it's testament to how she keeps her feet on the ground.

To Marcelle, our resident "Crush Ang Bayan":

With your brand of perseverance, good things are sure to come your way! Congrats to the Cum Laude!

God bless,

Sometimes, you just have to be glad she's not Chinese? or at least, she doesn't look it...

.:On Rowena:.

I ran into Rowena from my Philo 104 class, and I really felt justified when I read her dedication. Here's a person whom I never knew until my last semester of college, and yet I still managed to make it count. As a side note, people who see her picture may very well agree that she bears some resemblance to Ma'am Sining...

In any case, her dedication really kept me from feeling all sad and frustrated over not getting the special awards. I guess if it wasn't for this one, I may have just ended up moping and whining again, and bah Gawd, I've had enough of the angst. Time for some positivity, neh?

Dear Marcelle,

It was nice knowing you even if it was only for our last semester. I think you are generous and have a true passion for teaching or just helping people :). Whether or not you win for "Gifted Child" or "Crush Ang Bayan", I think all those who voted for you believe you truly deserve to win, including me :)

Happy Graduation!!!

This one really made me realize that I made the most out of my last semester, indeed. I guess I could've just let myself go about what I do, and just wrote those thesis statements on Word for myself, but then, what at first was just Intellectual Whoring in search of appreciation has slowly transformed into helping for the sake of helping. If anyone were to use my thesis statement answers in the future without ever acknowledging me personally, it would no longer matter to me, so long as I know I managed to help, and so long as I wasn't plagiarized verbatim...


I didn't get a single Blue Rose, but that's no big deal to me. I never really expected anyone to like me that way. More like I hoped certain people would've, and I may as well throw out their names here... Cami and Diane, but expect? No, of course not. Especially not after having talked to Cami the last time... heh. But this is not about how many blue roses I took home. It's about how many of them I handed out.

Ah, yes. We were provided with only one Blue Rose, but we were allowed to purchase more at twenty pesos each if we were inclined to do so. Ergo, I sure as Hades lived up to my more... widely accepted nomination, as I handed out blue roses to certain people I knew. Let's go and run through them one by one...

.:On Diane:.

Diane Sayo, who by now ought to be Chinese Prospect number 1 (Sorry, Daph :) !), was the first person I gave a blue rose to that night. I was fully intent on giving it to only one person at the time, so I guess the mere fact that I gave it to Diane ought to speak volumes about how great a person Diane is. Cute and affable, Diane is someone I enjoy talking to, and she's been such a nice friend, always around when it mattered, willing to hear me out from time to time. I've known her since fourth year high school through an interaction with Saint Paul, and again, this was by pure chance. Her friend, Gladys, was for a while my best friend before certain inevitable things happened that ruined that... we're still fine at present, though.

Nonetheless, Diane is quite the special friend, and this time around, I made sure to peck her on the cheek lest she ended up kissing my shoulder again like the last time... still, her dedication was pretty nice... she actually had two...


For one of my biggest fans... congrats and good luck!


Of course, this one seemed less like a dedication and more like an autograph an actress would give to one of her fans. Still, I think that was precisely the idea for the whole thing. Wish I remembered what I wrote on my dedication to her, though. In any case, here's the second dedication, as she gave me two grad pics (Me very pleased... ::nosebleed::)?


Thank you so much for making my college life a little more fun and exciting. :)

Good luck with life. I'm sure that with someone as intelligent and friendly as you, there is (virtually) nothing that you cannot achieve. Don't ever give up! God bless you!


If that doesn't make me feel really glad, I don?t know what will. Diane's been really great for the longest time, but truth be told, she didn't think much of the blue rose as she thought I'd just buy eleven more to complete my CP list (Obviously not feasible, as some of them aren't good sports like her, some of them weren't there at all, one of them already graduated, and another one of them is a freshman.). Seriously though, if I only had to give one, that was meant for her already. Let's just say that she counts that much... I have to be very picky with my words here.

She actually thought I was expecting her to return the favor to me (Handing me her blue rose in reciprocation, that is.) when I texted her. I asked her to let me know when she was leaving, but I guess she misread it to "Give me this certain something, or admit to me this certain something before you leave." Pretty long way from the original message, so I'm glad I cleared that one up right away. I like her a lot, but I don't like her enough to pull a stunt like that, especially not when I actually have someone I love (i.e., Ms. Grace Apron.)...

.:On Charlene:.

Charlene Chua was the next person I happened to give the Blue Rose to. I figured she'd be a good sport about it, and it was the perfect swerve, as I was telling her about how I was heavily deliberating on giving my solitary (At the time, I did think it was solitary...) blue rose to Cami. I felt a bit shy about it, so I asked Cami to hand her the rose, but you might say that Cami let the cat out of the bag too soon and told her that it came from me. Still, I did anticipate it right. She was a nice sport about it, and she does have a nice graduation picture all the same...

I'm pretty sure she has quite a future ahead of her. She's also the Program awardee for her course. That's great for her. I believe she really deserves that kind of recognition. Considering how I may not run into her on Friday, I was very appreciative of the nice remembrance...

.:On Cami:.

Yet another swerve, as Cami is the one person I handed more than one rose to. Of course, the other one was something she passed on to Charlene, but still...

Cami's someone who really fits the description "One of the boys". It's more likely she'd give you a high five for your smooth maneuverings on a certain girl than for her to chide you over it. Still, I was originally dropping plans of handing her a blue rose because someone seemed to be seriously courting her, but what the Hades... it's not like giving a blue rose would make you married, anyway... and though she's obviously not Chinese, I willingly made a special exception in her case...

So I just handed it to her, and then she just took it like a great sport and hugged me. It can't get any better than that, truth be told. Cami's someone I'm very comfortable with, because she doesn't mind that I like her, and she doesn't do anything that encourages me to act on my liking her, or drop it altogether. It's just this nice material she has to joke me around with ("Ay! Si Marcelle, may kras sa akin!" / "Hey! Marcelle has a crush on me!"). As it may be, Cami is simply one in a million, and no matter how "scarred" she may be, I hope that she finds someone to love soon enough. If it's something she wants at some point, I have to say with all honesty, she deserves it.

.:On Sacha:.

This one is actually a funny rose delivery...

So there I was, aghast that I didn't get "Crush ANG Bayan", and since Peppy didn't get "Master Stalker" either (W-ell, Charles practically had it in the bag...), we then headed off to Faura since Sacha didn't stay long for the Blue Roast after having gotten food. I was joking Peppy about handing the blue rose to him on the way to Faura, and his reaction to it was funny. I owe him one, though... his camera now contains a picture of me and Cami, then me and Diane (As you can obviously see, though I don't look too glamorous.)...

She was actually in the Physics faculty room with Eric and a Physics teacher, I believe. Eric was doing a Gran Turismo, clearly illustrating collision physics. I think they're trying to use his graphical recreation of an accident scene as a way of providing evidence to contradict a certain sworn statement by who was obviously the guilty party according to the graphical recreation.

Funny thing is when I handed the blue rose to Sach...

Sacha: But this shouldn't count! I already know you're one of my stalkers!

Marcelle: Excuse me, but I'm not your stalker! (Ha! What pictures and videos are in your phone again, Marcelle?)

Still, Sach had her hair cut again. And she wasn't wearing glasses either. Ergo, I think that she might move somewhat in the CP list soon... and no, she's not going up... but I'm sure Jobert finds her hot again...

Still, I couldn't get much more than a handshake from her, as she never stood up. Too bad, considering we prolly wouldn't meet on graduation, as BS and AB are separate, and she teaches BS students.

.:On Dione:.

The final blue rose for the night was something that was pretty unexpected. It was something that I just went for out of impulse, although I really didn't think it was going to achieve anything, really. Dione was kind enough to spare me a copy of her graduation picture, and she took my creative pic as well. Second time I heard someone call my creative pic as "So Marcelle". I guess the wrestling connection is so well-established by now?

Still, after mulling over it for some time, I decided to give her a blue rose despite the fact that she?s no longer a CP of mine. I figured that I ought to give it to someone who really had no idea that I liked her, as even Charlene could've figured that out, since she obviously knew my type, and she knew she was Chinese... (Duh.) I had a hard time looking for Dione, though. Took me about half an hour to get to her...

I wouldn't say that it completely backfired, but with one of my old acquaintances also from M.E. around (Who was fishing almost all night long from Dione whether or not she's no longer single.), it was quite awkward for me afterwards. I hope that the awkwardness doesn't last beyond graduation, as I really just thought I?d hand her one just for the Hades of it, as it's my last chance to let her know that I did like her, after all. Of course, now I think a lot of things I used to do would suddenly make sense to her... but still, no big deal, as that's that anyway, and I have a strong feeling she's already taken.

.:And Then?:.

There were a couple of people I didn't give blue roses to, though the thought did cross my mind quite heavily, unlike, say Clarence, whom I hardly knew enough, or Shar, who might not be such a great sport about it, for all I know. Yes, it did cross my mind to consider Abby, but I was adamant at not courting disaster by handing her that, whether or not Bro was around. Why beat on a dead horse, anyway? It's not like that would've been interesting to her, neh? That one would've been plain predictable. On the other hand, I didn't give Audrey a blue rose simply because I didn't think it was going to do me much good, really. Not only is she taken, but I don?t think I know her well enough for her to take that with just a grain of salt.

With that being said, that was a total of forty pesos I just saved myself...