Wednesday, February 28, 2007


.:2 Tickets To 300 Tomorrow Night:.

WAVE is premiering "300" tomorrow night.

Any takers? Elbert? You want to watch with Estelle or something? They're free. Just bug me before hand then drop by Galleria around 7:30PM.

If Elbert doesn't want it, it's fair game to anyone else. Feel free to SMS me and ish.

.:Two Months...:.

Unbelievably, my Beloved and I have been together for two months already.

Two months na tayo, Kapuso... ::gush::

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

A Whole New Level...

.:A Healthy Development...:.

My Beloved and I went out last Monday. We watched "The Number 23", and really just spent most of the day bonding with each other.

It's unbelievable, knowing that in about fifteen minutes, we would already have been together for two months. I still can't believe how I ended up with her, knowing full well that I've liked her for as long as I've known her, and I've known her since fourth year college, a distant three years ago.

We've gone through a lot of rough spots. This relationship has been anything but smooth-sailing, yet we somehow find ways to remind each other that despite the problems, we do love each other, and what we need to keep us together is a lot of patience. Without patience, we simply won't be able to stand the test of time, and be it times I'd feel insecure about other guys, or times she'd feel worried when I have a case of the ex, we work through it with each other. I know for a fact that I love her with all my heart and I don't feel this way about anyone else at all.

Yet what I feel is the strongest sign that this relationship has the ingredients to last is the fact that I found it perfectly natural to ask her to pray with me. Over the phone, before we sleep, we'd just pray. Nothing earth-shattering, nothing life-changing, but one of those little things you do with someone special that make you feel it's really going to last. What's funny is that we don't even have the same religion, and yet, both of us realize that we pray in the same way, and we're both more spiritual than religious.

I feel good about this because it's a barrier we managed to cross. We're at ease with each other to a point where we can share a moment of prayer with each other. It's important because when all has been said and done, it was through Him that I found my Beloved, and I can never thank Him enough for that.

Monday, February 26, 2007



Due to the fact that I don't own my own domain, I am ineligible for this year's Blog Awards.

I just suddenly felt the drive to blog disappear... I hope I find it again somehow.

.:Morgan Strebler vs. Criss Angel!:.

This is old news to most people in the States, but not too many Filipinos have heard of this at all.

In a rather exciting turn of events, Morgan Strebler, the man who has devised the Liquid Metal Psychokinetic routine, has decided to issue a challenge to Criss Angel, star of the television program “Mindfreak”.

Now, to the average layman, it might simply seem like Morgan is merely trying to gain publicity at the expense of Criss Angel, but to the people who know better, that simply isn't the case. Strebler is a very famous performer in his own right, and very few magicians who have ever tried bending silverware with their mind haven't heard of him. He is a renowned stage performer, and throughout his interview, he emphasized the need to uphold magic that can be done live, and not with the security of “a controlled environment with multiple camera angles and creative editing”.

Criss Angel's series, “Mindfreak”, has been the subject of wide debate among people, whether or not he really performs his illusions or he simply uses camera tricks, plants, or the like in order for him to achieve the seemingly impossible. I'm sure he's a nice guy and all that, but this is a challenge that won't really do him any good to ignore, credibility-wise. Of course, the flipside is that his contract will likely be voided if he tried to respond, so I'm willing to bet that he won't take this challenge.

So what is the challenge? Well, Strebler makes a threefold challenge for Angel and he to perform with one camera trained on them 24/7, for all the magic fans on the world wide web to see. He wants both of them to start off with a stage magic show, then follow it with a street magic demonstration, and finish it off with the “Chinese Water Torture”, which is the ultimate test of endurance of the mind. Of course, if we are to believe Criss' performances, then he's already been suspended by the skin on a helicopter while hanging from meat hooks, so this shouldn't be a problem for him.

As a fan of Liquid Metal, I personally believe that if this challenge took place, Strebler would far outstrip Angel in all aspects except possibly the Chinese Water Torture. Strebler's performances are amazing, and I know for a fact that Angel has some notorious instances of stooge magic, particularly when he executed a very impactful version of Gutbuster.

That being said, I think it's high time we came clean on this, as I really think that while magic has been brought to public awareness by guys like Blaine and Angel, but they have unfortunately raised the bar to unrealistic levels. When they can achieve what they achieve with the help of wires or camera tricks and special editing techniques, magicians who perform end up being hit with the following deal breakers:

1. “I saw David Blaine/Criss Angel do a trick where he levitates two feet of the ground. Can you do that?”

2. “You levitated just a few inches? That's lame. David Blaine did better than that, and so many people were watching!”

3. “Ah, I know that trick already. I saw Criss Angel do that, and I know how it's done because I saw the AXN special.”

The third statement is a challenge for the magician to step up, but in the Philippines, people don't even care anymore whether or not they know a secret, but simply care that there is one, and that, to them, is enough for them to not want to pay attention anymore, because far as they're concerned, it's all smoke and mirrors.

On the other hand, the first two statements really hurt. Both statements box you into their realm, and in that realm, they are unquestionably king. There is no beating them because unlike them, chances are, you are performing impromptu, and no editing room can help you out or exaggerate your effects. Right then and there, they see a direct comparison, and that kills you right away if you don't meet the outlandish expectations created by the slick presentation and editing they've managed to achieve.

Just once, I'd wish a challenge like this were actually responded to. Knowing the egos on the line though, that'd simply never happen. The magic art form called, and it wants its dignity back.

Friday, February 23, 2007


.:Grab Your Bowls!:.

I don't know with you, but I was particularly disturbed by the latest commercial by Honey Stars, where the mascot implores all the kids to “grab your bowls”.

There's just something really silly about bad enunciation at a word as critical as “bowls” when you're being asked to “grab” them.

No, I can't get my mind out of the gutter at the moment. But can you freaking blame me? =P

.:Kapag May Hope, May Pag-Asa...:.

This is the campaign slogan of Senatoriable Panfilo Lacson, and I can't help but scratch my head. How in heaven's name did they come up with this idiotic line?

Siyempre, may pag-asa kapag may hope. They're the same freaking thing!


.:Pinoy Big Brother Season 2... And Prime Time Philippine TV In General...:.

It's coming. I've always been ambivalent when it comes to this reality show, but I guess people are bound to take notice of it again. People are talking about it as early as now, and ABS-CBN was smart in not saturating the market with PBB after three successive seasons.

Good on them, I say. I'm glad that Philippine television has been uplifting itself slowly, albeit I can't say the same for Channel 7's primetime lineup as of late. While I still have a lot of misgivings with the noontime shows and the game shows we have, there's just brilliant writing going around for the most part lately. Even my opinion of “Maging Sino Ka Man” has slowly been changing, as I can see John Lloyd's character with healthy tinges of grey, making him less and less of a cookie-cutter oppressed hero character.

.:I Want To Say Something... The Sent Series, Part II:.

To My Beloved,

Really, it's not easy trying to hide how much you mean to me. The only reason I can't say your name every single chance I get on this blog is so I can protect you from your parents finding out about us.

Of course, that doesn't mean I won't find creative ways to say it out loud. Like right now.

With all my heart, I love you. I'm proud of you. I really am. I want to shout out to the world that I am yours. I want them to know that it's you and not anyone else, and I hope that through this, I can make it clear for all to see... if they look closely enough.

Even though I'm far from perfect for you, I want to be right for you. In so many ways, I want to be better for you. From changing my temperament to making it a point to show you that there is nobody, absolutely nobody else in my heart, I want you to realize that I am worth your love. And I am grateful that you do love me.

Never in my life have I felt this way about someone. Never. It's easy to say that I've never loved someone in this way or that way, but it's not easy to say that I've ever loved someone this much. My heart longs to find ways to make you happy. I am after your happiness, and all I know is that you deserve nothing but the best from me.

All this time we've known each other, who would've thought it possible? We've known each other and never in my wildest dreams did I think that there's a chance for you and I. All this time, I was scared that you and I were far from compatible because you seemed to live at a different pace than I did. I was glad to be proved wrong.

I am so proud of you. I am so proud to have someone as wonderful as you in my life. I don't need to compare you to my standards or my ideals. You are the standard. You are the ideal. My only wish is that in my own little way, in how I carry myself and how I attempt to change myself for the better, I can make you proud of me as well. Are you? Were you ever?

Let's face it: there will always be hurdles. I understand that. What makes this worth it despite the hurdles is simply the fact that you and I have been willing to find ways to make things better. It takes two to tango, and I am glad that I found you. Thank you for not giving up on us despite all the problems we've gone through.

One thing people need to know about you, my Beloved, is that you are to me my once in a lifetime. I leave myself vulnerable and at your mercy, and I implore to you as I have always implored... my heart is yours. Please be careful with it.

Valentine's day has come and gone, and yet I remember what you told me... that we don't need a special day to remind each other how much we love each other. Thank you for making every single day a Valentine's day. Thank you for reminding me how love can change our world.

Every now and then, I worry about us. It's difficult to ignore the problems around us, but I want my love for you to transcend words and romantic gestures. I want my love for you to permeate every facet of our relationship. I long for you to recognize it without a shadow of doubt. I know it's not easy for you to give your trust to me because you're afraid to be hurt. I know you've never had your heart broken, and I don't intend to be the one to do that.

You make me feel special. You make me feel loved and cherished. Without resorting to sheer flattery, you make it very apparent to me when I am doing right by you. What makes me have a very high amount of respect for you is that you don't let me walk all over you, but at the same time, you don't take it as an excuse to walk all over me.

Out of all the people in the world, you and I found each other. Thank you for being my Beloved, my cherished friend, and my cause for joy. I'll never find another person quite like you, and I am grateful I managed to even this once.

Ultimately, I can only say one thing: I love you. In so many ways I can't quite explain, you fill all my senses and bring the color back into my life. I love you so much, and if people can't tell who you are after this, then nothing will. ;)

Lovingly Yours,

Thursday, February 22, 2007


.:Flash Disk... Gone!:.

Stupid me left my flashdisk in Netopia.

I'd be naive to expect to ever see it again now.

A pox upon ye, whoever you are who took my flashdisk!!!

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Random Thoughts On Yesterday...

.:Kris Aquino... Gah!!!:.

I can't help but feel bad how Kris Aquino pushes her contestants' buttons so that she can evoke emotions from them. How she makes them cry at will by bringing up their sob stories, how she finds one of the 26-K girls who can commiserate and make her cry too, and of course, how she puts the contestant through the wringer even after they agree to take the deal.

Where else can you find a situation where someone is actually not happy to receive a whopping 500,000 pesos? Quite simply, when they're told after the fact that they could've won 2,000,000. Why do they not have an option to just let sleeping dogs lie and simply not bother finding out exactly what they would've gotten?

If that were unavoidable, why simulate the rest of the game, instead of just cutting to the chase and opening the purchased briefcase?

Today's contestant ended up crying her heart out because she only ended up winning only 10,000 bucks. It was really sad, looking at her, and the kind of stress she went through definitely wasn't something you'd want to put a pregnant woman through. Yes, the contestant was also pregnant. Yeesh.

I'm glad this is the last week of this program before she gives birth... maybe she can reevaluate the kind of agony she needlessly puts her contestants through.

.:You Know What Hurts?:.

What hurts is how it's so easy to erase and rewind things for some people. I'm not that way. I really don't take things casually. It boggles my mind how other people can, in one moment, profess undying love to each other, and the next, act as if their formerly significant other no longer exists.

How much time does it take for wound to heal and for people to find their smile again? And why is it that it ends up being the one who broke the other's heart who ends up bitter, when you would think it's the one who got left hanging who would be so?

It makes absolutely no sense, and I guess it will always be a sticking point to me. After all this time, I still can't help but feel disappointed that this is how it ended up being, and no matter how I bend, it still stays the same.

.:It Took Some Guts, But...:.

... I pushed through with the Avenue Q auditions. I was actually the last one who went there, and I sang “Herod's Song” from “Jesus Christ Superstar”. I would've wanted to do “The Internet Is For Porn”, but we didn't have the piano guide and all...

That being said, I am very grateful to Charo for practically pulling me out of bed to go there, after all the worries and butterflies I had flying in my gut. I'm extremely glad that I got it over with, and they even said it was “great”.

I don't know if they said I was "great" to shut me up and get me to leave, or if they really meant it, though. Their reactions when I was singing didn't seem like they were particularly impressed.

Whether or not I make it in is irrelevant at this point. What is relevant is that I tried, despite the fact that I was rather scared.

I was just so out of it that when I was asked what my vocal range was, I promptly wrote in “Alto”.

How was I to know that “Alto” is exclusively for females?!? o_O

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Two Film Reviews...

.:Film Review: Music And Lyrics:.

Music And Lyrics
When it takes two to tango...

It's a date movie. That's what this film is in a nutshell, but it's a great date movie.

Hugh Grant plays an 80's has-been who's been a member of “PoP”, a new-wave group whose claim to fame were tight-fitting pants and big hair. In this day and age, he is now a throwback attraction, doing little more than reliving his old glory days.

In comes Drew Barrymore, who plays the girl who waters his plants. In the middle of coming up with a song for the biggest pop star in the industry who wanted to have a duet with him, she ends up coughing up lyrics that have been far better than the lyricist they hired, and so the two of them end up making a collaboration.

The thing is, she has been dealing with a lot of issues. She just came from a bad relationship where the guy ended up using her as a fictional character spun around to make her look like a conniving seductress, and her self-esteem has been shot. Hugh, on the other hand, has been feeling the crunch of simply not being good enough as a solo act to come up with an actual hit.

As they made beautiful music together, creative differences between the two ended up driving them apart just when they were falling for each other. Out of spite, she ended up watching the concert, and just when she thought she was stricken off the credits for the song she wrote with him, it ended up being a real song he composed. For her.

To make it even better, the song they made together remained untouched, instead of having the sexually charged performance that it was supposed to turn into...

I'm such a sucker for these films. Hugh and Drew look great together, and the song they wrote, “The Way Back To Love” or something like that, was really catchy. Of course, so was the film's opening music video. Heh. I really don't have much else to say about it, but I just highly recommend this film, to say the least.

In any case, I'm really happy that I got to see the film. It was sappy, cheesy, sweet, and utterly delightful all at the same time... worth a watch with a date, no question about it.

“Fun” Evaluation: A+
“Critical” Evaluation: B+

.:(Incomplete) Film Review: Epic Movie:.

Epic Movie
I left my brain at the door to watch this. My intelligence was STILL insulted.

Read this film review so you wouldn't ever have to bother watching this piece of crap. I'll spoil everything so you know what happens, so you won't feel any desire to see it. I have never seen a movie this bad, and I honestly hope you would never have to bother watching it, much less paying to see it.

“Epic Movie” came from the same guys who brought to us the dreck we've come to know as “Date Movie”, and you can clearly tell that once the Wayans left the writing team, the “____ Movie” franchise just floundered and floundered.

There are films that are so bad it's good, and then there are just films that are so bad. Epic Movie is in line with the latter, a contrived, utterly unfunny excuse for film that no doubt would make money because people are suckers for movies like these.

The story is like this: four orphans from different walks of life come together after finding the Golden Ticket in candy bars that sends them to Willie's Chocolate Factory. They find a way to run off into Gnarnia, where they must fulfill the prophecy of liberating the enchanted land from the Evil White Bitch. In the middle, we have dance numbers, idiotic spoofs and “cameos”, and every other unfunny idea you could come up with.

It's a movie not worth your time. When their idea of a punchline is to simply throw an impersonator in, you know someone doesn't have any idea how to write comedy. When their idea of spoofing an epic movie is to put in a Borat impersonator, then you know someone doesn't have any idea what an epic movie is. How could you parody a parody in the guise of calling said parody an “Epic Movie”?

The story is paper-thin, the jokes are not even funny (And it's easy to make me laugh, for crying out loud.), and they can't even come up with a punchline other than throwing in another impersonator as a reference to the movie being parodied. There is absolutely no point to watching the film.

This is the first time I ever ended up walking out on a movie in my life. It's that horrible. I couldn't take sitting through it at all.

“Fun” Evaluation: F
“Critical” Evaluation: F

Monday, February 19, 2007

The First Time I Ever Walked Out Of A Movie...


Guys, do yourselves a favor, and not bother watching "Epic Movie".

It's a movie that's just really bad and retarded. It's not the "so bad it's good" type. It's just horrible, and for the first time in my life, I walked out on a movie because it was just that bad.

I don't understand how people can enjoy crap like this. There was nothing but references, references, and more references. There weren't any jokes to speak of, since they simply relied on the parodies as a punchline in and by themselves.

Yuch. Consider that I didn't even pay to watch it. It was a premiere that I attended for WAVE. When you can't let people watch your movie for free, then it's got to be really bad.


... I love you.

Yes. You.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

The Reason I'm Posting Sparsely Lately...

... is because I won't have my flash disk with me until Tuesday.

Expect a huge update once I do, because my entries are all typed out on my blog... sigh.

My life is so undocumented lately...



When you've had your heart trampled on so many times in the past, it's very understandable why you're very wary whenever there are any signs from another person that something's wrong.

Truth be told, I have that feeling right now. That one moment, I could be the happiest man on Earth, and the next, the worst off one...

Sigh... I'm out of sorts. Can't blog sensibly.

Friday, February 16, 2007

Meme And Vituperation...

.:Doing This Meme Again!:.

Thanks to Miss Choi!

Leave a comment here and I'll...

1. Tell you why I friended you.
2. Associate you with a song / movie.
3. Tell a random fact about you.
4. Tell a first memory about you.
5. Associate you with an animal / fruit.
6. Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
7. In return, you must post this in your own LJ.

.:I Got Lost... Gakk:.

Greenhills, he said.

And so I boarded the FX, and fully expected to be in Greenhills, which I asked him about to be certain, and he said so.

Next thing I knew, I got off at Green *something-something*, and I had no idea where in Hades I was.

Greenhills, my hiney.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Ah, Well...

.:Up For Blogging...:.

1. Criss Angel, the famous street magician, has a challenger in the name of Morgan Strebler, the man who has brought Liquid Metal to the world. I wanna talk about the article in the near future.

2. A Lyrically Speaking Scribble of "Talk About Us", by Jennifer Lopez. The song will make you laugh your head off.

3. Making significant note of certain dates. Hmmm... January 26 at National Bookstore, January 31 was the entire day spent with her, and February 3 was Eastwood and bowling.

4. A film review! I just watched "Music And Lyrics" today...

5. My thoughts on "Can This Be Love", after all has been said and done. The movie's on TV now, and it reminds me how time has indeed been flying.

6. How I can now say that I'm happy for a certain someone. That person seems to be happy, and even if I'm no longer the cause for joy, it's all good.

7. Carnivore Night recollections.

8. Arguments...

Yes, I know, this is such an unsubstantial post, but rest assured I'll make up for it either tomorrow or over the weekend.

Probably over the weekend. Seven items to discuss.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

The 14th...

.:You Might Be Amused To Find Out...:.

... That my magic has found its way onto video again. Here, you will find me doing my De'Ring routine, followed by Bill Goldman's Free Chance, topped off by Sean Beard's Kaos. Pretty nice lineup that quickly gets to the point.

On the other side of the window, the Chinese guy seated there shares the same name as my spectator who signed the card. Seriously, could that have been any better?

Much thanks to Drac Cigam of The Story Circle for this! You rock!

.:The Plot Thickens:.

Jasmine now wants to find out about how Travis and Camille got to know each other. Will she find out that Camille stole her identity after all these years?

I'll find out tomorrow. Hehe.

.:Shameless Product Placement!:.

By default, I end up catching "Maging Sino Ka Man" after "Sana Maulit Muli", and boy, this episode was shameless!

So Chin-Chin Gutierrez was having a headache while talking to John Lloyd, and she was asking for food. After some time...

John Lloyd: O. Paracetamol.

Chin-Chin: Hindi ka ba nag-iisip? Walang laman ang tiyan ko!

John Lloyd: Safe iyan, kahit gutom ka pa.

Chin-Chin: Thanks. This is just what I wanted.

.:Princess Hours...:.

... is growing on me. I think I like the characters, although I think both lead males are too girly-looking for my tastes. The double entendre-laden "honeymoon" episodes are a million and one laughs.

.:Thanking My Lucky Stars...:.

This was a year that I thought I'd be spending Valentine's day without somebody special, but lo and behold, my Beloved and I found each other.

But I really don't want to go talk about this at length at the moment. We tend to have our rough spots every now and then, but we always find ways. Lately, we haven't been able to give each other our best, but we work on fixing that, because for once, I can say that as much as she's worth the effort, so am I. I don't say that too often but she has made me believe it.

It's Single Awareness Day and I simply don't find the need to write anything particularly sappy or particularly melodramatic. Even then, I'm very happy to say that my Beloved is my Valentine. There are a lot of hurdles, a lot of speed bumps along the way, but now, I know I'm not in this alone. We'll work through it all together.

.:Single Awareness Day Is Upon Us...:.

I'm hoping the promo Gia and I ran would go well. Hehehe. I'm still clueless at the moment as to what kind of gesture I can give my Beloved.

Lots of things to consider on February 14, and considering how cynical I've always been, I can't believe I'm like this despite being burned so many times already.

It's either I never learn, or quite simply, I still believe in love.

There's really a lot of ground to cover for tomorrow, and as much as I'd want to go over another Lyrically Speaking Scribbles, but I guess I just have to find the perfect song to go over.

Here's hoping for a great day ahead.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Magic Musings...

.:Ooohh... Regular Caption Contests!:.

I tried my luck at Improved Archie, an LJ community that provides non-stop fun at the expense of Archie and the gang.

It was pretty amusing that I got in there.

.:And Now, It's Time For A New Routine:.

1. Open with a De'Ring Exhibition.
2. Move onto The Ring Thing.
3. Finish the Ring Magic segment with Pinnacle.
4. If a bottle and its cap is present, move onto Prohibition and close the routine from there.
5. If not, do Cardtoon.
6. Then close with Coinci-Cube.
7. If asked for an encore, do Liquid Metal.

I think that's a fairly solid routine already, although I can't wait to do Spun. I just wish I knew how that bend was done though, because I didn't quite understand it when I was watching the video.

And of course, I have a few other effects I'm lining up but refuse to speak about until the time is right.

.:Archiving My Effects:.

Having been into magic for years and having had an information gorging over the past few months, I think it's time I took a step back and evaluated for myself exactly what I know already.

You see, the problem with me as a magician is that I tend to have a few pet effects on me at all times, such that once my routine is finished, when asked for an encore, or pressed to do more, I end up having a mental block on what to do.

And so I decided to make a database for every effect I know about. If there are any magicians out there who are just as currently disorganized as I am, maybe you could use this idea. Any magicians out there who are more organized than I could probably help me refine my stuff even further.

I plan to categorize into the following: Mentalism, Coin, Children's Party, Card, Closeup, Ring, and so forth. I don't know if these supercategories are a good idea, or if I should classify the effects in a better way, as certain effects would overlap, such as a card trick like Stigmata, which is both Card Magic and (Freaky) Mentalism.

In any case, each effect would be described this way...

Name Of Effect:
Source Of Effect:
Genre Of Effect:
Points Of Concern:
Current Level Of Mastery:
Other Ideas:

So for example, if I wanted to classify one of my favorite effects...

Name Of Effect: Kaos
Source Of Effect: Video by Daniel Garcia, Kaos. Effect created by Sean Beard.
Genrer Of Effect: Card magic.
Description: Surgically extract a card from a window from one side. Card can be signed.
Difficulty: Requires a bit of nimble card handling.
Points Of Concern: Spectators on the side where you are extracting the chosen card from might prove to be a slight speed bump.
Current Level Of Mastery: Almost perfected.
Other Ideas: Ideal for a finisher or a one-effect routine at coffee shops.

So... what do you think? I figured if I just enumerated 5 effects a day, I should be able to finish enumerating all the stuff I know in a month or two. This would allow me to refresh my memory about old effects I may have neglected to use yet might actually still be useful in some other routine, or with some variation here or there.

I think archiving what I know, how well I can do it, and where I can ideally use it would help me be a more organized performer all-around, and I won't have to constantly scrounge around for new effects all the time when I actually have one or two that I just happened to forget yet would simply be perfect for me to employ.

That way, I don't waste a lot of good ideas.

Monday, February 12, 2007

Refreshing My Knowledge Base...

.:Catching Up On My Magic Research...:.

Currently lined up for my viewing:

1. Pinnacle
2. Prohibition
3. Spun

That being said, I am really working on making an all-new walkaround routine that would retain only two segments of my old routine: De'Ring and Liquid Metal. I am looking into making a more impactful version of the Sponge Balls and Cubes, and then maybe using an Invisible Deck as a closer for my one and only card trick, and then I need two more effects in between.

Well, let's see if I can learn anything useful when I go and watch some new material...

Lots Of Recapping...

I hate my 'net. I hope this counts for my Sunday post, because the internet has really been wonky. I just had a rough weekend...

.:Congratulations To My Bessie-Moo!:.

Estelle graduated! I know I was ribbing her that I didn't think she had it in her, but seriously speaking, I am very proud of her! She finally graduated, and she is more than capable of making her mark on this world at this point!

Way to go, Bess!

.:Total Kaos:.

Friday night was pretty okay, as I hung out with Elbert and his workshop group for a while before I watched SMM at his friend's unit in Prince David. We were musing over the similar personality quirks Estelle and Elbert have been exhibiting. It's almost like they're the same person at times, what with the same singsong enunciation they often use from time to time.

Saturday night yielded a very fun night at the TSC EB. While I have been a lurker with the group for so long, running into these guys is really interesting.

In any case, I crashed a table with a video camera following me last night, and it was pretty fun as I did my standard De'Ring/Ring Thing opener, then followed it up with Bill Goldman's "Free Chance". Now, after doing that, I went ahead and attempted Sean Beard's "Kaos", and that got a huge reaction that night, to the point that even during closing time, the people at Starbucks were still asking me about it.

The kicker about this whole deal was that during that night, as I was extracting the signed Kaos card from my spectator, the people seated by the window I was extracting the card from had to step away for a moment, but not before they saw the name on the card.

One of the guys on my side of the window wondered out loud, "Paano niya nalaman ang pangalan ko?!?" (How did he find out my name?!?) as apparently, his name and my spectator's name was the same. Talk about a freaky coincidence!

Anthony from Ali Mall was also hilarious that night, as he had a comedy routine, and to me, his line of the night was...

Tama na ang mga baraha. Cards naman. (Enough with the [vernacular word for cards]. Let's do cards instead!)

Yes, translating the joke loses its effect.

In any case, while the EB was winding down, we were really just jamming around for fun, and I think that the Starbucks employees really enjoyed the magic that night. I didn't feel compelled to indulge them a second rendition of Kaos, though. I can't wait to see if the video's going to make it online. I think that night's performance was one of the best performances of the effect I've ever managed to pull off...

.:More Hanging Out With Friends:.

Last week's Saturday night was spent in Greenbelt with Elbert, Max, Estelle, Debbie, Johan, April, and Myka. It was interesting because we had Dance Maniax and Johan was showing off his chest hair, which made Elbert feel particularly inadequate in that area. After all, when one of your best friends has three nipples, and then the other has chest hair, you tend to look at yourself and realize you're not such hot stuff after all. Ahahaha.

Yes, I did even more walkaround. Prior to going to Greenbelt, I sat in on the Story Circle gathering, which was fairly interesting, if only for the fact that I saw how things are when the people are just warming up and getting started. In any case, I had a few notable moments, and I really think that I've substantially improved on a lot of fronts.

This came to the forefront on Sunday, when I met up with Estelle and Tita Toots to go to the ROD Convention, and I was beginning to learn how to do the Gryphon Roll that Christian Bale was doing in “The Prestige”.

All in all, it was a great day, and I think that topping it off with Dance Maniax (Which took Estelle's family by surprise. Hehe.) was pretty good, combined with the nice film we managed to catch, Charlotte's Web.

Mental note: I promise to review the next film I watch in the cinema. If not, then by this weekend, I'll write up a review of Charlotte's Web...

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Magic At ADMU...

.:Well, I Tried...:.

I think I need to work on an alternate routine for walk-around and street magic. I'm beginning to think that while I want to keep De'Ring, I want to do something other than a Raven trick, then an Ultimate Transpo, and the occasional Liquid Metal.

If there are any magicians with a simple walkaround routine out there that gets them good reactions, I'd like to hear ideas from you. No methods. Just ideas.

Friday, February 09, 2007

Political Lambaste...

.:Manny Pacquiao: Reality Check!:.

Manny Pacquiao is running for mayor.

What the eff is going on here?!?

Seriously, what voices got into Manny's head for him to think for one moment that he was going to make a great mayor?

I've said this before and I'll say this again... if you're going to make a head count of Pacquiao's fans, feel free to count me out. Let him be the great boxer that he is, but I won't place him in the pantheon of great athletes who fight for our country whom I admire and respect.

What makes a Manny Pacquiao different from a Paeng Nepomuceno or an Efren “Bata” Reyes? I think one word sums it up more than anything else: ostentatiousness.

Manny Pacquiao makes oodles of money for his boxing career. That's his right. That's his prerogative. However, as far as I'm concerned, he's already claimed his “reward” for being a great boxer. He's fought for himself, for his family, but to extend that to the country is stretching it a bit too much. It's the ostentatiousness that really grates on my nerves, because while he's having a mansion built, there are so many people just outside his doorstep who are starving, and dying, even then.

I'm not going to be unreasonable and say Manny Pacquiao should be a messiah to the Filipino people, but that's exactly my point. Manny's hype machine has marketed him precisely as a neo-messiah meant to elevate the Filipino's stature by example. He has allowed himself to be hyped as a messiah, and that's the bluff I'm calling him out on. He can't do everything, so what business does he have leading people on to believe that he can?

Now, he's running for mayor. And exactly what does he intend to do as a mayor? What is his platform? Where does he intend to go with this? I don't doubt his ability to win, but I sincerely question his ability to lead. He is the epitome of a figurehead. He will inspire people, but inspiration is not enough to go by. He needs to be capable of addressing the issues the people who will end up under him would be bringing to his plate.

I wish he wouldn't run, but it looks like he's all set to do it. He's going to throw heaps upon heaps of money into a campaign that could instead have gone to charity or to more productive means of helping the country, if that's his intention. Is he going to end up just letting the people around him go over his head? Then that proves he's nothing more than a figurehead.

I'm tired of unqualified celebrities running for public office. From the inutile Robert Jaworski to the divisive Joseph Estrada to the myriad other celebrities who have no business being in public office, I'm just really dismayed over this neverending trend that fame is the only qualification necessary to have a successful political career in this country, forget everything else.

Just a few months ago, you pretty much said that you'd rather “serve” your country by boxing because politics isn't for you. Where are those words now? Am I going to lump you now into this category of people who lie through their teeth, including exquisite examples like Miriam Defensor-Santiago (“For the sake of my son who has passed on, I am leaving politics.”), Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo (“I am not running for president!”), and Imelda Marcos (“Nobody was hurt during Martial Law.”)? I was never a fan of you, and now, I feel a strong repulsion to the two-faced, facetious manner this political career you insist on having has evolved into.

Ano ba talaga ang gusto mo? Maglingkod sa bayan? Diba, sabi mo, sa boksing, sapat na ang inspirasyon na ginagawa mo para sa iyong mga kababayan? Nasaan na ang mga pinagsasabi mo?

Do I need to enumerate what makes him unqualified? He wasn't even a high school graduate. He has a busy schedule because he is a professional boxer who has to stay in shape and train a lot. He has never had any political experience, and he's going to launch into one at the prime of his boxing career. His idea of helping people out is the same idea Willie Revillame employs in Wowowee: throwing money in their direction. He has no platform. He's going to let his friends with political design be the one to form his entire campaign for him. He doesn't know how to double-check anyone in his inner circle.

Do I need to go on at length with this? He's a figurehead, plain and simple. Sadly, he's beginning to believe his own hype. He's beginning to have a messianic complex, thinking that he can enter politics and do a load of good. I don't care if his intentions are true and honest. The road to Hades is paved with good intentions.

I know I'm going to hear the tired and old “crab mentality” argument on this. I know I'm going to have people tell me na ang kapal ng mukha ko kasi sarili ko na ngang kababayang hinahangaan ng mga Pilipino, sinisiraan ko pa. To that, I have two words: so what?

Why do we cling onto so blindly onto any scraps of “nationalistic pride” we can find by pinning our hopes on someone else? Why can't we take pride in ourselves, and not in some other who's making a slight dent in the international scene?

I called it before: Batista would be a source of national pride because he's a WWE Champion, never mind the fact that being champion is something the bookers and writers determine, or that Batista is a crappy wrestler in the ring. We take pride in a Jasmine Trias who did nothing but milk us for endorsement deals and never once spoke out proudly on American Idol about her Filipino lineage. Is that how desperate the Filipino people is for a source of national pride?

And besides, what the Hades did Manny Pacquaio do that makes him such an untouchable sacred cow who's taboo to speak out against?

Is he some kind of holy man who held a dying leper in his arms as he prayed for the leper's soul? No? Then he's no Mother Teresa.

Is he a gentle leader who leads his nation in a peaceful revolt? No? Then he's no Mahatma Ghandi.

Is he a charismatic figure who came from the masses and showed them he was one of them by refusing to wear Americanas and wear barongs instead? No? Then he's no Ramon Magsaysay.

Did he write books and work on a means of a peaceful reformation of the Philippines, only to be tried in a kangaroo court then shot in Luneta? No? Then he's no Jose Rizal.

Did he die on the cross for us? No? Then he's no Jesus Christ.

You know even Mother Teresa, Ghandi, Magsaysay, Rizal, and Christ Himself have been spoken about in a negative light. Why should Manny be any different?

Do we gloss over a man's faults by virtue of his merits? Does he get a free pass because he's a famous boxer? I think not. Otherwise, we'd all be perfectly fine with having R. Kelly babysit for our little girls because he's such a great musician.

I have only one piece of advice for Manny... get a reality check. Hindi ikaw ang tagapagligtas ng bansa. Huwag mo na hayaang umasa pa ang mga tao sa iyo dahil kailangan nilang matutong maniwala sa sarili nila.

.:Tito, Tessie, Richard... Is This Politics Or A Circus?!?:.

Tito Sotto, Tessie Oreta, and Richard Gomez could very well be running under the administration.

My, my, my. How their memories run short.

In this country of partisan and contrarian politics where the opposition will clash with the administration for no other reason than to clash with them, we now have three formerly stalwart opposition members make it clear that they are open to running with the administration if the opposition wouldn't be kind enough to let them run under their banner.

Goes to show how flimsy party lines are so long as crossing it can serve you well. Goes to show how completely pointless the system is when they align with anyone when it's convenient to do so.

Tito Sotto and Tessie Oreta were two of the infamous “No” senators who prevented the opening of the envelope in the Senate. Tito Sotto, specifically, was backing FPJ in the presidential elections of 2004, and did not hesitate to insinuate or outright accuse GMA of cheating during those elections when his candidate lost. Tessie Oreta dances well. I am ashamed to admit I'm related to her, but yes, I am.

Richard Gomez outright called GMA a “false president”. He has, in my opinion, a rather strong political ideology, and would be one of the few celebrity politicians with teeth because he has a more apparent agenda than his celebrity contemporaries. Yet like every other politician out there, he is capable of crossing party lines when it serves his purpose.

Quite honestly, I really wish they went back to a two-party sytem with very delineated and outlined platforms. In that way, personalities become less of a factor because people would be more aware of the political ideology clash that results from the two parties' radically different points of view. In a multi-party system, ideologies are expendable, and personalities are paramount. I really am not a big fan of this system, because just because a personality is popular, does not mean I know what he or she is fighting for.

I am, for the most part, very amused and saddened at the same time over these three people. I didn't like them in the first place, and now, I can't even respect them, because clearly, for as long as it means they can stay in power, they would forsake their alignment and just hang out with the administration to serve their own agenda.

Don't you just love Philippine politics?

Haplos mo ay kanlungan ng nangangailangan. Salamat sa dampi ng iyong pagmamahal! (/sarcasm)

A Mouthful...

.:Surprise Party!!!:.

It's Tita Toots' birthday today, and we had a surprise party for her on midnight. I have loads of stories to tell about that, but first, I'd like to wait for a picture from Estelle to get to me... paging Estelle! :P

.:Worktime Blahs:.

For the record, I resigned from my office job in WAVE. What this means is that I am still a jock at the station, but I no longer have to stick around after my show for six more hours for a paltry pittance.

That being said, it has been problematic in the station for a while. People have only been looking out for #1 and nobody else, and since we've been rating, there has been no incentive for anyone to step their game up, and people who do never really get any recognition.

My partner, Gia, has been busting her @$$ for so long already, and yet it would seem nobody recognizes how much she has contributed to the station. When she foreshadowed resigning from the company, the boss just waved it off without knowing what the implications of doing that would be.

Did it ever occur to them that all the jocks are spoiled and only myself and Gia have ever bothered handling the weekend? Did it ever occur to them that if they asked any other jock to do the kind of radio work Gia has been doing, nobody would agree to the conditions? Did it ever occur to them that I can write scripts, that Gia is doing commentary on live television? It boggles the mind that to this day, only an elite and not necessarily impeccable few people do voicing, and only one person writes scripts for plugs.

Why have we been bypassed from being taken out of the graveyard after no less than three jocks have left the station? Why is it that when they get someone new, the new jock gets thrown right into the prime time slot while other jocks languish in the proverbial doghouse? Haven't we freaking “paid our dues” already?

This station has been incredibly stagnant, and initiative to actually do something well has actually been frowned upon. Nothing gets done, and if you tried to do something, you're going to end up being resented dahil pa-star ka.

I am sick and tired of double standards. That one jock can be asked to take over for another at the drop of the hat, yet they would never ask the same favor from their favorite jocks. They say Gia is “unqualified” to do voice-overs, yet some other jocks can't even pronounce “sachet” right. The very same jocks whose voice you're sick and tired of hearing on the station's plugs.

I am sick and tired of the ungodly hours. We've been stuck in the graveyard for going on two years already, and no amount of improvement has allowed them to take us out of the doghouse.

I am sick and tired of the mediocrity. This station can be so much better if people actually cared enough to improve, and yet, people have been too obstinate to understand that concept. They want their stature to rise, yet in only looking out for themselves, they instead hamper everyone else.

This station needs to take a reality check and realize they have been abusing some of their most loyal employees. These people deserve better.

I know I deserve better. I've been going on three years in this company already, and my finances have been the same as they always have been. Any other company would have given you a raise by now for at least having stayed that long with them.

This is absobloodylutely ridiculous.

.:Taking Matters Into Our Own Hands...:.

Seeing how WAVE doesn't seem to have any plans to make Single Awareness Day, aka Valentine's Day a special day for the station, then my partner and I decided to throw a spanner in the works and offer ourselves for V-Day.

If you want to win a breakfast date with either Gia or Kel on Valentine's Day morning, all you have to do is text WAVE 891 INSOMANIACS (YOUR NAME) (YOUR MESSAGE) and send it in to 2968. In your message, indicate who you want to go out with, and then send either of the following:

1.Your wackiest/most interesting Valentine's memory.
2.A message to convince either Kel or Gia to go out with you. Make it sweet, make it creative, make it interesting.

Alternatively, feel free to drop off snail mail Valentines at Room 201 Strata 2000, Emerald Avenue, Ortigas Center. Winners will be announced on Tuesday, February 13, at 5:30 in the morning towards the tailend of the Insomaniacs' Tuesday edition.

We're doing this not because we think we're such awesome catches and going on a date with us is such a big deal. Rather, we're doing this because whatever happens, we think this little experiment is going to be fun, and it guarantees Gia and I won't be going stag on Valentine's day. =P

Join in on the fun!

.:Returning The Favor:.

This time around, she was the one who showed up at my doorstep.

In the three hours we hung out, I noticed that she doesn't mince words with me, at hindi siya marunong mambola. Well, I guess that's a good thing. Eh kasi naman, talagang hindi ako sanay sa mga nambobola sa akin...

But I digress. We really just hung out at my place, as she watched Grey's Anatomy at one point. It was interesting how we could have mundane moments bring us closer together.

There isn't much to write about what happened because not much really happened. Despite that, I can't quite understate how grateful I am that she went over. It's just really great to be able to share time with someone dear to you.

Yesterday was a great day...

.:Why Her Identity Is A Secret...:.

I know people might think it's weird that I don't say outright who my Beloved is, but it's not because I'm not proud of her that I don't indicate who she is.

I think it should be obvious to all reading by now that her parents won't approve of us. I can't even call the relationship official precisely because of that, but it's the perils you have to deal with of going out with a Chinese girl.

Despite that, it's not even relevant that I'm not Chinese and she is. Her parents simply don't want anyone to get in the way of her dreams, or rather, their dreams for her. Hard to argue against that, when race isn't the issue, to be honest.

But that's precisely why I resolved I wouldn't get in her way. Whatever she is working towards, all I ask is for her to include me in that future, but not for her to completely alter it on my behalf. I would sooner be the one to change my plans for her than I would allow her parents the satisfaction of knowing they were right about people like me all along.

I will wait for her. She asked me to. At some point, things would work out for us, one way or another, and when that time comes, I would be more than happy to show to the world who my Beloved is, and how much she truly means to me...

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Various Thoughts...

.:Doing The Math...:.

So it took me 30 minutes to get to her place from mine, and 30 minutes to get back, more or less. That is a total of 60 minutes, or 1 hour.

I was at her place for a grand total of ten minutes, a mere 1/6th of that hour, or 16.67% of an hour. Out of those 10 minutes, 8 of them were spent with her just working with her groupmates, nary stealing a glance at me throughout. That would be 80% of the 10 minutes devoted to her groupmates, and a paltry 20%, or 2 minutes, attributed to me.

In the span of 120 seconds, I managed to ask her how she was doing, and remind her that I care about her and I love her.

In the last 10 seconds, or a mere 1/12th of the 2 minutes we spent, I hugged her before we said our goodbyes. That's about 8.33% of the time, and given that 2 minutes is a mere 3.33% of 1 hour, then those 10 seconds was a mere 1/360, or .278% of the time it took for me to get to and from her place.

Yet that mere .278% of an hour was enough cause for joy to make me 100% happy for the remaining 28,952 seconds of the day.

I did the math, and it all adds up.

She's worth it. She really is.

.:When Faced With The Choice...:.

I finally resigned from my office job in WAVE, which was perfect since I really needed to put a stop to the crazy punishment I've been inflicting to myself at work, to be honest.

In any case, I was hosting a movie premiere last night, and lo and behold, I didn't bother watching “The Messengers” anymore. Amusingly enough, what I ended up doing was going to WAVE after dinner with Gia and just watching “Sana Maulit Muli” in the office.

Yeah, well, I think it was well worth it, and I ended up doing the unthinkable and downloaded a picture. This is really getting bad.... hahahaha...


Ran into Sarah Bautista, a blockmate of mine from Ateneo in college. It was interesting, since she went to the same high school as Someone Familiar, and it was her birthday when I ran into her.

Well, talk about your coincidences, I guess...

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Blog Parteeh Link Love!

.:Link-Loving For The People At The Blog Parteeh...:.

With much thanks to Jozzua for the source. I figured it out somehow, so better late than never, right?

Chris G. Haravata

Darwin Sotto

Maria Theresa R. Termulo

Janette Toral

Benjamin Espina

Lauren Dado

Jonas Diego

Luis Bernardo E. Cruz

JC Cuneta

Paul Irvin Rivera

Aaron Roselo

Pierre Tito Galla

Joel Yuvienco

Marhgil Macuha

Mike Abundo

Joseph Gonzales

Adrian Magnaye

Arvin Jay Jorge

Shari Cruz

Dominique Baniqued

Mark Joseph N. Baun

Jeffrey Villafranca

Gerardo Barcelona

Zaldy Dalisay

Karla Redor


James Michael Deen

Andrea Leonor Haravata

Aldrin Cantos

Liz Buenaflor

Eugene Alvin Villar

Randy Lorenzano

Arnold C. Zafra

Mae Paulino

Sharmaine Miguel

Nestle Poell Lagaya

Julius Rocas

Marc Macalua

Allan Ray Penilla

Joni Ang

Lord Art Florenz Lomarda

Lyrically Speaking Scribbles Part V, And Then Some...

.:I Wanna Link-Love, But...:.

Do I really have to hardway code all the links? Is there a shorter way to that? As you can tell, I've always been hard-coding all my HTML, so any shortcuts to display the x-ty or so bloggers who showed up on my blog would be appreciate.

Help? Please?

.:Lyrically Speaking Scribbles, Part V:.

Here's a song I should've known a long time ago. Rest assured that this song isn't 100% autobiographical (My Beloved is not a waste of time, for the record.). Right now, it's really more of an introspective look at how a fine line can separate two entirely different and contrasting things.

But hey, since I'm on an Avenue Q kick lately, I may as well get this one out in the open...

There's A Fine, Fine Line
Avenue Q Soundtrack

There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend;

Sometimes, the line is so fine, it's so hard to tell. Is that kiss on a cheek just your way of saying you care? Is that hug merely a reminder that she's safe in your arms?

When are flowers really just a show of appreciation and nothing more? When are presents just for remembering an important day and not a hint that deeper feelings are involved.

Where do you draw the line between loving a friend and being in love with someone?

There's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend;

Sometimes, we make concessions over reality and pretend and blur the line even further. We make assumptions, we jump to conclusions, we formulate extrapolations, and at the end of the day, we no longer know if what we "know" is true, or merely conjecture.

Is instinct reality? Is learning to be content with what you have merely deceiving yourself? Sometimes, it can be difficult to tell.

And you never know 'til you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb.

But what if you never reach the top? Or what if it turns out it's not worth it?

Do you play the blame game? Do you become bitter and jaded? Do you decry whatever you sought out to be overrated?

Or do you appreciate the journey in and by itself and not dwell too much on the summit when the climb itself was breathtaking?

If you got to the point and discovered it wasn't worth it, does it invalidate everything you went through to get there?

Back then, I was foolish enough to think it would. Now, I know better. It doesn't. It shouldn't. If you truly loved, saying goodbye, finding someone else does not render untrue the fact that for a point in your life, this certain someone was your world, and meant everything to you.

There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.

How long must you hold on before you realize there's nothing left holding on to? How much pain will you have to endure before you recognize it's over?

Must you while your life away in the hopes that she'd come around?

Or would you not be best served to open your eyes and your heart to someone who would not make you feel like you are just wasting your time until the right one comes along?

It's a fine, fine line, but it's one worth treading if you wish to find that one for you.

There's a fine, fine line between a fairy tale and a lie;

Fairy tales exist and happen for as long as you're not in it alone. When it is all a construct in your own mind and nothing more, it becomes a lie. It's a fine, fine line, and the differences are very subtle.

Fairy tales are real. A Cinderella can find a Prince Charming.

Despite that, to say that they would live "happily ever after" is a lie. What about the Prince's family members? What would they have to say about Cinderella? What about the stepsisters and the stepmother? What of them?

Fairy tales can still come true in this time and age. But unlike the fairy tales we read about, there's no shortcut to getting to "happily ever after" except by living life one day at a time, never losing sight of what matters.

And there's a fine, fine line between "You're wonderful" and "Goodbye."

It's easy to forget things you've said when you fell for someone. It's easy to ignore the countless "I Love You's", the myriad sweet nothings, and the fervent promises made with the stars and the full moon as witness to your solemn pledge of undying love.

As time goes on, and as feelings wane, as inconvenient truths come to the fore and begin to tell both of you how you've bitten off more than you can chew, promises are conveniently forgotten, words are haphazardly jumbled, such that "Forever" becomes "For a while" and then "Never"; such that "Yes" becomes "Maybe" and then "No"; such that "I love you" becomes "It's not you, it's me"; such that "I'm sorry" becomes "It's your fault".

It's a fine, fine line. The transition is barely noticable, yet it clearly rears its ugly head when hindsight begins to wax nostalgic.

I guess if someone doesn't love you back it isn't such a crime,
But there's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of your time.

How long must you be on your knees, praying she would come around? Will true love truly conquer all, or will the harsh pangs of reality slap you in the face and remind you that you can't let your life pass you by, all for someone who fully intends to let her life pass her by?

It's a fine, fine line between holding on and wasting your time, and at some point, you have to step back and ask yourself where you stand.

For your own sake, figure it out!

And I don't have the time to waste on you anymore.
I don't think that you even know what you're looking for.
For my own sanity, I've got to close the door
And walk away...

It's over not because you don't care. It's over not because you hate her.

It's over because you can't keep on fooling yourself that things can be better if you give it enough time.

It's over because you can't be in this alone for the rest of your life.

It's over because it takes two to tango.

It's not a knock on the other that they can't hold on when you need them to hold on. Nor should it be a knock on you. There are just some things that just happen, and you simply have to recognize them for what they are.

Right love, wrong time.

Right time, wrong love.

Wrong love, wrong time.

Right love, right time, wrong phone number.

Right love, right time, wrong gender.

It takes time, but with time, it gets easier to move on and not blame them for everything going wrong in your life.

There's a fine, fine line between together and not
And there's a fine, fine line between what you wanted and what you got.
You gotta go after the things you want while you're still in your prime...

How many times have you been in a relationship where you don't know if you are or you aren't? How often has it been the case that you wanted something, yet you had to settle for something you ended up with instead?

It's rather complicated, to say the least. When can you say with all honesty that you aren't merely settling for someone when you know you wanted someone else before? Chances are, you can't figure out the answer until it's too late for you to change your mind, and yet, sometimes, just sometimes, you realize for certain it's not settling for someone when that person you are with is someone you've dreamt of for so long.

It's easy to look at the past with rose-colored glasses. Conversely, it's easy to gloss over the present and just say that you're so much better off now. It's easy to fall into the trap of comparing the past with the present and mistakenly thinking one is better than the other.

Why dominate your thoughts with comparisons? Wasn't she wonderful in and by herself? Isn't she wonderful in and by herself? Wouldn't comparisons demean her to merely a hodge podge of variables you assign arbitrary values to in hopes of determining who adds up to something more?

There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.

May all of us find someone worth the effort of finding out which side of the fine, fine line we are on with them.

In a world where everybody hates a happy-ending story, that shouldn't be too much to ask, I hope.

.:Sometimes, A Day. Sometimes, Ten Minutes:.

You know you really care about someone when you would spend six times as much time in transit than you would in their company.

You know you really care when you would travel for half an hour to see someone for ten minutes just to say "hi" and give them a hug to remind them how much they mean to you.

.:Flings Aren't For Me:.

Believe me when I say I tried.

Some time ago, I tried to chuck away my philosophy that I should treat any relationship I have as my last, and just be with someone for its own sake. It's called abusing Kantian reasoning at its worst, but yeah, I did try.

Well, it just didn't work out for me. To be honest, I can't find it in myself to just go out there and go out with someone knowing full well that it's not going to last. I can't get involved with someone and expect that I won't end up investing all of myself into it.

But I tried. I really tried.

But I guess there's still a bit of room for idealism left in my significantly jaded and cynical heart. I guess stuff like truly love only ends up overrated when you stop believing it's worth the esteem accorded to it.

And so now, I end up giving all of myself into something again, and you know what?

It's well freaking worth it.

She's well freaking worth it.

And I wouldn't have changed a thing about it even if Michael de Mesa sent me back in time to do so.

Monday, February 05, 2007


.:Avenue Q:.

There will be a staging of Avenue Q in the Philippines sometime this year, and they're holding auditions for cast members.

I know I'll just probably get rejected but I'll be damned if I didn't try to see if I can make it.

Avenue Q is one of the most politically incorrect and unapologetic musicals out there, and I love every minute of listening to the soundtrack, from “The Internet Is For Porn” to “Schadenfreude”.

I'll give it a shot. Heh.

.:An Entire Day...:.

It was eight in the morning when she got to my place. She wasn't in uniform because she apparently changed clothes before going here since she didn't want to go around wearing her uniform. I may have seen her only two days ago, but I missed her like crazy, so I hugged her ever-so-tightly.

We had the whole day to ourselves. I've practically been on leave for three days already, and I just really wanted to be with her and enjoy her company while she reviewed and while I rendered playlists for the day. There was nothing particularly earth-shaking about what we were up to. We were simply there, and we were simply going to spend an entire day with each other.

It was a fine, fine Wednesday, to say the least. We discovered that we really could be with each other for extended periods of time, and it was awesome being with her for that long.

I left for a short while to upload a bit of stuff, and it was fairly amusing when it turned out that by the time I got back, she was already playing with Gabby, the landlord's four-year old daughter. It was nice seeing her inner child because it made me realize that she still really knew how to have good old plain fun, amid all the serious issues and the deadly deadlines she has to go through day in and day out.

And so we just turned our attention to each other and conversed. It's been a bit tough initially for us to enjoy face to face conversations with each other, but in due time, that got easier and easier. This day was just phenomenal. We opened up about a lot of things. We laughed over good times, we pouted over minor disagreements, we smiled over memories, we groaned over corny jokes, and through it all, we realized that we had a very strong bond that we hope would stand the test of time.

There is friendship, and there is love. Perhaps from her side there is no romance, but I know that in time, if it is meant to be, that will come in and by itself.

It's a good foundation we've built for ourselves. I know someday, the right time for us would come, and we patiently await.


.:It's A Fair Time:.

Foundation Day was last Thursday in Don Bosco, and it was pretty awesome. I finally ran into Fr. Eli and Ma'am Ting, and it was a really good day. They even asked me to do a bit of walkaround magic, and that was pretty cool.

Ah, well. Next year ought to be awesome... heh.

.:Not Goodbye, But See You Later...:.

It was a Friday morning, and I went to Chua Residence #1 in Bautista, where Sacha would be just before she took her flight back to Canada. We haven't seen her in a while, so we're pretty happy that we got to spend a lot of time with her. There was a short guestlist that morning, comprised of myself, Diane, and Mark.

Sacha's dad, Tito John, was really giving me a rough time because he knew a lot of magic himself, so it turned into an expose-ridden performance, and it's not like I could refuse to stop performing when he practically demands me to. Ahahahaha... ::nervous laughter::

After breakfast and realizing Diane and I both lost our bet with each other (Resulting in seven exorbitant dinners apiece.), Mark and Diane excused themselves, and I went with Sacha and Tita Harvey to the airport, where the three of us really bonded with each other.

We had interesting conversations ranging from Imelda Marcos to future plans. It's amazing because it's very unusual that you'd be bonding with a friend's parent, to the point that Tita Harvey is practically JGL in our eyes already. =)

Sacha's blessed to have a mom as supportive and as caring as Tita Harvey is. Makes me cont my blessings too, seeing how my parents deserve an award for having put up with me for as long as they have... heh.

By now, Sacha's back in Canada and it's business as usual, but that simple and quiet Friday morning with no overlong goodbyes but never-ending see-you-later's is definitely something to remember.

We'll miss you, Sach, but we all know that it's just a matter of time before we'd see you again. Thanks for the great month with you around. Friends like you are truly one in a billion.

.:The Blas Ople Job Fair:.

After taking Sach to the airport, I was dropped off at Market! Market!, where I met up with Estelle for the Job Fair that she's been working on for so long and hard. It was fairly eventful because I was really trying to make her laugh while she was on the mic stand trying to announce job openings. For the most part, I was really just lazing the day away there, completely underslept and so forth.

I did a bit of announcing, a bit of walkaround, and for the most part, I was just observing how absolutely harassed Bessie was throughout the day, albeit I knew she was doing a marvelous job.

I'm proud of my Bessie. For a moment, we were worried she wouldn't make a successful transition from student body to workforce, but she did.

After the job fair, we went to Debbie's place, where we watched “Sana Maulit Muli”, and then fell asleep over the movie we bought for the occasion. It was all good, though.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Thoughts On The Go...

.:You Go Girl! Have A Happy Period!:.

Words fail me. Watch the commercial yourself, and be amazed!


I know this is just so positively jologs, but I'm extremely excited about how “Sana Maulit Muli” is turning out to be.

Jasmine and Travis have been running into each other a lot, and now, the whole connection about their past is coming to the forefront. Tomorrow's episode is bound to be eventful because this is the part where Travis is going to sing “Matudnila” at a presentation, and Jasmine is going to begin to realize that Camille took Travis away from her all these years.

Oh, this is going to be a can't-miss episode, all right. This is the best telenovela I've ever bothered watching, so I must say that they're really doing a lot of things right with the story. The premise was awesome, and the execution for the most part has been impeccable. I can pretty much let the horrible delivery by Kim and Gerald slide by now, as this series is really picking up...

It looks like Jasmine is beginning to fall for Travis again, but just when that happens, one of Jasmine's best friends is going to start courting her! Oh, no!

Gah. What a fanboy I'm turning out to be. =P

.:Thanks For Trusting Me...:.

I've gone over the entire blog of my Beloved, after she gave me the URL the other day. I'm very grateful she trusted me enough to tell me about it.

I have to say that going over the blog was very insightful. It's like I know her so much better now, thanks to what I've seen. From what she likes, how she thinks, her priorities, her hopes, her dreams, and even the transition of what she has been writing the moment I came back into her life.

I saw a see-saw. I saw how differently she spoke of me in contrast to how it was when she was in love with someone else. I saw how despite the shortcomings she has painstakingly enumerated, she still saw the good in all of this. I saw, furthermore, that she truly loved me, in a way I know she has never loved anyone before.

It's amazing. Here is the girl who has been so used to having people practically kowtow to her every whim and fancy, and yet she still ended up loving someone like me: someone whose grandiose gestures pale in comparison to those she had been given in the past. I care about her, and I do love her, but this time out, I flat out refuse to be walked all over by her, and I am very thankful that instead of resenting it, she actually respects it.

I don't know if she'd continue writing in her blog, but I know that by looking at it, I have most certainly made quite a difference in her life. As time goes by, I hope that this bond we have built with each other will grow stronger.

I am grateful for having been trusted this much by my Beloved. In turn, I know that I am putting as much trust in her, for I have never had this much faith in someone in my entire life. I have never felt stronger or surer about anyone in my life.

Friday, February 02, 2007

Way Cool...

.:The Plot Thickens...:.

I'll talk more about it next time, but Friday night's episode of "Sana Maulit Muli" looks to be a can't miss affair. Wheee!!!

Wait 'til I get to show you the Kim Chiu videos I found online, though. The ones of her doing the Whisper commercial. Haha. Next time...

.:Can't Get Used To Her Nicknames...:.

Her name's Rowena, and I don't know if I should call her Wena or Row. She insists I call her "Row", though because I sound like a special kid since I can't roll my R's.

Grr... :P

.:I Found Myself On Video...:.

Brother Bo Sanchez featured lots of the bloggers at the Blogger's Parteeh last Saturday, including yours truly, where I performed the much-ballyhooed Liquid Metal routine for him. Amusingly enough, every nuance on the video is part of the routine's aura. It's always better to see it live, though.

I am so inspired to want to record videos of this routine now... hehehe.

Speaking of which, another one of my mentalist tricks was also featured on camera... I think since this is a short enough file, I wouldn't mind embedding this one...

Hope you guys liked it. :P

Thursday, February 01, 2007

On Magic...

.:On Why I Do Magic:.

I've talked about magic a lot in my blog lately, but I haven't quite gone into detail over what really got me back into the fray of things. I guess it's a good idea to talk about my story, and how magic has been bringing back, well, the magic, in my life.

As a kid, I was especially amused by magic. I didn't just want to find out secrets, I wanted to be able to do effects myself. Everyone by now knows the secret to a trick or two, and I wasn't the type who would stop there. Quite frankly, I wanted to do magic and to wow people.

When I was around eight or so, I received a magician's set for my birthday, and I found that particularly instrumental to my always wanting to be involved with magic, one way or another.

Through the years, my interest in magic has been on and off. There were some moments where I wanted to really do magic for people, but I was hardly any good at it. For instance, even to this day, I can't do much with cards beyond shuffling them. No fancy cuts, no springing of cards horizontally from one hand to the other.

I knew a bit more about magic than most people do. I was always on the lookout for finding out secrets, but to me, they were always useless if I couldn't do it myself. Secrets can be startling. Some could involve very simple principles. Others involve an insane amount of skill. Still others involve subtle, genuine “mind-reading” nuances. And others involve plain force of will. Magic isn't all about smoke and mirrors, so I found out. The performer is arguably even more important than the effect itself, in my eyes, and the performer's skills can make the difference between calling an effect a “magic trick” and an “illusion”.

Things really turned around last year because of two independent factors that drew me to magic to a point where I don't think I'd ever be “off” it again.

The first was Elbert's surprise party. Elbert is my best friend, and another one of my best friends, Estelle, wanted to plan a surprise party for him. I volunteered to do a magic show for him, recalling my interest in magic, since I didn't want to just host, nor did I want to sing or dance for him.

As I said, I wasn't particularly great at magic. I would say I was average at best. I did the effect, and hardly used any presentation to make it more powerful than it would if I just shut up all the time. Estelle suggested I met up with one of her friends, Jay Mata, who gave me very sound advice on how to improve my repertoire, and he in turn led me to meet Mr. Bing Lim, a now-retired magician who owns a magic-cum-sex shop in Greenhills, known as Abracadabra (Boy, that didn't sound too good...).

Now, Bing is one of the best in the country, and he really drove me to better myself. He's a perfectionist, and he won't settle for mediocrity which was just fine with my temperament, because he really doesn't sugarcoat anything.

So over the span of a bit over a month, I bought merchandise from Bing, learned routines, patter, presentation, and so forth. I managed to unlock a lot of potential I never thought I had through magic. From kid's party magic to mind-reading to telekinesis, I discovered various things that I never thought I could do.

It got to a point where I felt I invested so much into my craft that I should make it more than just a one-time deal. That's when I decided to continue learning magic and continue doing it for other people in whatever shape or form. In the middle of Magic: The Gathering tournaments (The other “Magic” I found myself preoccupied with.), while walking around Eastwood, for a children's party by Luli Arroyo, for Mapua's Foundation Day, and the list goes on and on.

If it weren't for that surprise party, I don't think I'd be doing magic like this at this point. However, while this is a spark that lit the fire, I think it's a good idea to talk about the fuel that keeps the fire going...

Well, the second reason is a special friend of mine, Row.

You see, when I started talking and hanging out with her last October, she really showed me how it is to get to know someone and to find out more and more about them with each passing day. It's that continual process that keeps me wanting to find out more, to give out myself more, and this in turn was the reawakening of my sense of wonder. I found something new about her every single day, and it just drew me to want to know her more, because the more I know her, the more I realize there's still so much I don't know.

And that's what magic to me is about: catering to one's sense of wonder.

When I do magic, I don't do it to freak people out or to make them feel I have powers they don't have. I do it to entertain. I do it to awaken that sense of wonder in them the way Rowena has and continues to do for me. It's that sense of wonder that makes me feel so alive, knowing that the only thing I know is that I do not know, and so I must continue to learn and to better myself, and to ask myself not “why”, but “why not”?

If I can only scare but not entertain, then my magic show is no good. Instead of awakening a sense of wonder, I trigger a sense of fear, and that could only mean that I have ended up using magic for my own personal gain to build myself up and not to do what it was meant to do in the first place.

I liken magic to professional wrestling. It involves letting go and a suspension of disbelief. Unlike a TV show where, say, George Clooney is not a doctor, both magic and pro wrestling still involve skill and force of will that you cannot just simulate. In my opinion, you don't have to suspend your disbelief much, because there is genuine magic, there is genuine athleticism at work, and it's merely packaged differently from how it normally is.

I thank Rowena for awakening that sense of wonder in me. She has done the most powerful kind of magic I can possibly dream of, and it is in this joy and gratitude that I go on and do magic, in the hopes that what Row has done for me, I can somehow do for others.

Magic has allowed me to have self-confidence. It has given me the courage to approach complete strangers to entertain them, asking for little more than an opportunity to take a few minutes of their time. It has allowed me to adapt to situations, because when something goes wrong, I have to think on my feet, and I can't be caught with my pants around my ankles.

With these two catalysts, I do magic, and I hope to continue to do it for a while. I want to make my audience feel the joy I feel when I sit in wonder about something or someone. The ability to look at a pencil and identify it for a million and one things that it could be except a pencil. It's an unlocking of the mind and the heart and the spirit, all brought about by seemingly disjointed events, at the end, leading me into this craft.

And yet, all of this coming together to bring me back into magic isn't by any means magical. If anything, it's miraculous. From the lowest of the lows, I find some measure of certitude in my life again, and it comes in the most interesting of guises.

And that, my friends, is true.