Thursday, March 31, 2016

Leave The Memories Behind?


So recently, my laptop's hard drive crashed, and with it, all the data I've backed up from my phones for the past few years. A bit unfortunate, but that's how it is, really.

As an emotional packrat, I've always hated the feeling of missing out on archiving important things I've done in the past. Off the top of my head, my backup contained my first and only time of headlining a standup comedy show, as well as that time I did my John Hendrix jokes right in front of John Hendrix. Those were definitely great moments, and I would have loved revisiting them from time to time if I had the chance.

Unfortunately, everything I could have done stupidly the day my hard drive crashed, I did. I worked beside a bunch of powerful magnets. I didn't ask for the busted hard drive after the repairman replaced it. I didn't press the issue when he told me he tossed the old hard drive in the garbage. Overall, it was a sequence of errors, and now, this is the spilled milk I'm supposed to cry on.

But then, in writing about it, I choose not to. I choose to remember it fondly, but to no longer dwell on it.

There's been a lot of things going on in my life lately that has forced me to do spring cleaning. And while some of it has been good, a lot of it has been bad. Nonetheless, emotional spring cleaning does the heart good, and should be a better thing for me to do than to, well, persist in trying to hold on to things I shouldn't be holding onto any longer.

.:The Turning Point:.

A few weeks ago, some people who have been pretending to get along with me for years finally reared their real selves and demonstrated quite clearly that they never want me to be one of them. That's fine, really. I just wish they didn't waste years of their time pretending to like me when they apparently never did.

Ultimately, I just try to live my life in a way where I don't step on anybody. If people dislike me even after that, I can't really help it anymore, whether they're just being haters or they think they have valid reasons in their head for doing what they do.

These are just some more memories to leave behind, really.

Through all of this, I just need to take the higher road, and not fight back when I don't need to. Through all this, I just have to keep showing the same kind of treatment I've always shown in the past. I don't need to drop pretenses because I was never pretending.

In the end, if after all of that, I am still despised, that is no longer my fault.

I know I could say so much more. I know I could even launch an offensive. But why would I have to? They made their choice. I am making mine. And my choice is to be above the needless drama that some people create just to remind themselves that they're still alive sometimes.

It's simple, really: if I give nothing but respect, I find it difficult to accept being disrespected in return. There's nothing onion-skinned or hypocritical about that, is there?

.:More Random Thoughts:.

I never thought long-distance relationships could be hard, but I guess that's only when you consider one half of the equation.

Nonetheless, it's worth it. I hate talking about my relationship because there's this feeling that it's all so ostentatious, but I haven't felt this happy in a long time, and it's hard keeping a lid on it.

Thank you, love. As insignificant as this blog post might be, I'm just glad things are really working out well for the both of us.

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