The Hardest Pill To Swallow...

.:After The Love Has Gone...:.

Tuyo Na’ng Damdamin
By The APO Hiking Society

Minsan kahit na pilitin mong uminit ang damdamin
‘Di siya susunod at di maglalambing
Minsan ‘di mo na mapigil mapansin
Na talagang wala nang naiiwan na pagmamahal

At kahit na anong gawin
Di mo na mapilit at madaya
Aminin sa sarili mo
Na wala ka nang mabubuga

Parang ’sang kandila na nagdadala
Ng ilaw at liwanag
Nauubos rin sa magdamag
Minsan di mo na mapigil mapansin
Na talagang wala nang naiiwan na pagmamahal

At kahit na anong gawin
Di mo na mapilit at madaya
Aminin sa sarili mo
Na wala ka nang mabubuga

Di na madaig o mabalik
Ang dating matamis na kahapon
Pilitin ma’y tuyo na’ng damdamin
Tuyo na’ng damdamin

Tuyo na’ng damdamin...

It’s been said before, but love isn’t like a video game, where you can just go back to your last savepoint after you screw something up. You don’t get too many second chances at love, and once you blow your chance, more likely than not, you’ve blown your chance. There’s no “restart from checkpoint”, there’s no “extra lives”. What you get is what you get, if that.

It’s been said before, but love isn’t like a movie, where things always end up for the best no matter how bad the outlook may be. If you’re the underdog, chances are, the universe won’t magically conspire to give you your happy ending. That’s all for the best, I guess. It’s harder to truly appreciate something if it’s not something you earned.

It’s been said before, that love isn’t just a feeling. But it’s still part and parcel of it.

I have learned a lot in the past year of this personal Hades I’ve been going through. I have learned what it means to truly love and to feel loss. It’s not something I haven’t gone through before, but the lesson has been more intense than it ever has, if only because I still share these lessons with her as I learn and re-learn them.

I wish her nothing but the best. I wish her nothing but happiness. It would’ve been an easier pill to swallow if I knew in my heart that where she is right now would be the best place she could be, but I know all too well that isn’t true.

And it may have been a year since I’ve called her mine, but I’d still hate to see her cry, and I still can’t bring it in me to tell her “I told you so” after everything has been said and done.

You can fight for love. You can shout from every rooftop in the world how much you want her for the rest of your life. But if it’s just you, then... it’s just you. You can’t force love to bloom again from whence it has faded away.

I still haven’t found my smile. But I know that it cannot lie in someone else. It can only lie within myself. Within my ability to forgive myself for everything I’ve fallen short of that has led me to where I am now. Within my ability to be a better person for the one, if there is that one for me to look forward to.

Either way, life goes on. Happiness is not an option. Not for me, at least.

Lyrically Speaking Scribbles Part XVI...

.:Lyrically Speaking Scribbles, Part XVI: Who’s Holding Donna Now?:.

This has been a long time coming, but I guess I may as well pour it all out. If you don’t want to see someone go all emotional and crap, I suggest you skip this entry altogether.

Who’s Holding Donna Now
By El DeBarge

Sometimes a love won't let go
Hard as I try I know it shows...

“Thanks for never letting me go. Please don’t listen to me when I say I want out. Thanks for sticking it out with me.”

Masaklap isipin na ang pinakamalaking dahilan kung bakit ganito na lang ako kung umibig sa iyo ang mismong pagmamakaawa mo ng ilang beses na rin na huwag kitang hayaang iwanan ako. Ilang beses mo sinabi sa aking huwag kong pakinggan ang iyong mga padalus-dalos na salita, at pangahawakan ang katotohanang mahal mo ako at hindi mo ako iiwan.

Ang sarap pakinggan. Ngunit walang katotohanan.

Everybody's telling me
You'll be over her eventually
But how am I supposed to feel so secure...

Isang taon na. Isang taon na ngunit heto pa rin ako, nagpapakatanga. Hindi ko alam kung kalian pa ito mababago, o kung mababago pa ito talaga. Ang alam ko lang, sa loob ng tatlong daan, animnapu at limang araw, humingi ako ng iisang araw na maging mabuti ka sa akin.

At doon mismo sa araw na iyon, ipinagkait mo ang kabutihang hiningi ko.

When I keep wondering who's holding Donna now
And I keep wondering who's heart she's knocking around...

“I love you. Now I know how it feels to want to be with someone, that I don’t care if there’s anyone better out there. I just want you.”

Ang tagal ko ring pinangahawakan ang mga salita mo. Halos isang buong taon na akong nakabinbin lamang at minimithing muli kang bumalik sa akin, ngunit lahat iyan ay gumuho nang sinabi mo sa aking may iba na.

There's nothing I wouldn't do
To be in his shoes somehow...

Alam mo ba na dahil mahal kita kung kaya’t hinayaan kita na iwan ako, kahit gaano pa kasakit? Alam mo bang lahat na lang siguro, kaya kong ibigay kung ako lang sana ang muli mong pagbigyan ng pagkakataong makuha ang puso mo?

And I keep wondering who's holding Donna now
And I keep wondering what magic can be found
To turn me back to the one who's holding Donna now...

Kung kaya ko lang ibalik ang dati, sana ginawa ko na. Kung kaya ko lang na ibalik ang tayo, sana ginawa ko na. Ngunit walang saysay ang lahat ng ito kung nag-iisa lang akong nagnanais nito. Hindi ko na kaya. Nahihirapan na ako.

The letter started with goodbye
I've read it half a million times...

Hindi ko matanggap na matapos ng lahat, sa isang iglap lang, nawala na ang buong mundo ko. Ganyan ako kung umibig. Ganyan ako kung magmahal. Sana man lang, inisip mo iyon bago mo ginawa ito lahat sa akin.

Tell me this is just a dream
When I wake up she'll be here next to me
Tell me it will be just the way it was...

Hindi ko sukat akalaing ganito tayo hahantong. Ang dali sana ng buhay ko kung kaya kitang kamuhian, ngunit alam kong isa itong kahibangan. Hindi ko kaya iyon gawin sa iyo. Ang mahalaga lang, basta masaya ka. Kahit nasasaktan ako. Basta masaya ka. Kahit wala nang ngiting muling dadampi sa aking mga labi.

Who's holding Donna now?
I keep wondering who's heart she's knocking around...

Saan ako nagkulang? Sino na ang nagmamay-ari sa puso mo? At ngayon, saan ako pupulutin? Alam kong hindi mo na ako sagutin, ngunit ako man, hindi ko alam kung anong landas ang aking tatahakin mula ngayon.


There's nothing I wouldn't do
To be in his shoes right now...

Kung ako na lang sana... ngunit alam kong wala ka nang nararamdaman para sa akin.

Who's holding Donna now?
Oh Donna what magic can be found
To make me the one who's holding Donna now
I can't get Donna off my mind
Who's holding Donna now

I keep wondering...

Oo, mahal kita. Oo, nais kong masaya ka. Ngunit dahil nasasaktan ako sa tuwing nakikita kong ang iyong kasiyahan ay hindi sa piling ko, mas makabubuti sa akin kung magpaalam na lamang ako sa iyo.

Sana, mahalin ka niya kahit man lang kapiranggot ng pagmamahal ko sa iyo. At sana, hinding-hindi ka niya sasaktan. Dahil hindi ko mapapatawad ang taong mangbabale-wala sa siyang pinakapangarap ko.

Paaalam na, Donna.

Serenity. Strength. Wisdom.

.:Today’s LSS...:.

You’re In Love
by Wilson Phillips

Open the door and come in
I'm so glad to see you my friend
Don't know how long it has been
Having those feelings again.

And now I see that you're so happy
And ooh, it just sets me free
And I'd like to see
Us as good of friends
As we used to be

CHORUS:
Aah, my love, Aah
You're in love
That's the way
It should be
'Cause I want you to be happy
You're in love
And I know
That you're not in love with me
Ooh it's enough
For me to know
That you're in love
Now I'll let you go
'Cause I know
That you're in love

Sometimes it's hard to believe
That you're never coming back to me
I've had this dream that you'd always be by my side
Oh I could have died.

But now I see that you're so happy
And ooh, it just sets me free.
And I'd like to see
Us as good of friends
As we used to be

(CHORUS)

I tried to find you but you were so far away
I was praying that fate would bring you back to me
Someday, someday, someday... Ooh, you're in love

Ooh it's enough
For me to know
That you're in love
Now I'll let you go
'Cause I know
That you're in love

.:The Ten Rules For Dating Her...:.

I was rewatching “My Sassy Girl” recently, and I just remembered my favourite scene in the movie. I was really a sucker for the part where Cha Tae-Hyun’s character gave this guy who was dating Jeon Ji-Hyun’s character ten rules for dating her. It was really a tear-jerker moment, and it got me to thinking, would I be doing the same thing if the opportunity presented itself?

Since I’m a hopeless romantic, and at some point in my life, I’ve already done the infamous “Love Actually” scene in the past, I guess this is what I would say if I were in Cha Tae-Hyun’s shoes...

1. Don’t ask her to dress femininely. She will dress as she pleases, and you will just have to respect that.

2. Learn to drink and to hold your alcohol. Nobody, not even a straight edge, is spared.

3. Yogurt. Like it. Love it. Always make room for it.

4. If she hits you, act like it hurts. If it really does, act like it doesn’t.

5. A pink rose will do more wonders than a red rose.

6. You don’t need to know how to sing. You just have to be capable of doing it for seven straight hours in a videoke room with her.

7. Be prepared to be severely put on blast on the air sometimes.

8. If she says she’ll kill you, don’t take it lightly. If she puts you down, let her. No matter how much she’s asking for it, never put her down right back. You never hit a princess back. Never.

9. If her feet hurt from walking around and shopping for hours, buy her a pair of Havaianas. Unless you want to exchange shoes with her, that is.

10. She has many dreams and goals. At some point, your very presence may get in the way. It doesn’t matter. Encourage her to reach for them. She’s worth it.