Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Project 52 (51/52): On This Year's Blogging Output (And Why I'm Not Content About My Content)

.:Project 52 (51/52): On This Year's Blogging Output (And Why I'm Not Content About My Content):.

When I started writing this post, I thought it was my last post for this year's Project 52, and then I slowly realized that I may have missed my count by one.

And I did.

Sure, my count was off during 2010's Project 365, but hey, with 365 posts to handle, that was perfectly excusable. This year, I was blogging just a tad over once a week, but I still found myself mindless and careless enough to label week 42 as week 43. This is why my count was off by one for the rest of that time.

That being said, I'm really not too pleased about my blogging this year, because I know that while the quality of my writing has held steady or possibly improved, the amount of writing I do is a crying shame. Sure, I try my best to make sure I have a decent post once a week, but beyond that, I didn't really have much to offer. And I can't say it's because of my emotional state, seeing as whether I'm happy or depressed, the frequency of my updates didn't really make much of a difference.

I guess it helps that my writing is everywhere else on the internet, from the POC to the Freethinkers to the 8List and a bunch of other unattributed stuff. Still, I do feel like I've been neglecting my blog lately, and on my tenth year of doing it, no less. No, don't worry. I don't think this will be a moment for me to call quits on blogging altogether, seeing as I don't wanna hurt all four of my loyal readers.

But still, I guess this year, with all the things I've gone through, I've gone to do a lot of thinking. It just sucks that very little of that ended up on the blog. Whether it be my thoughts on things and people I've encountered, or it be about the RH Bill, or comedy, or even my still non-existent lovelife, I've given snippets of my thoughts on them here and there, but I haven't really tried to commit myself to anything altogether. I haven't really just gone out there and really written in a way that made me feel I've exhausted all my sentiments on the matter at that point.

It always feels I have so much more to say.

Then again, that may not necessarily be a bad thing now, is it? For all I know, I could simply be looking at it from the wrong perspective: that having so much more to say means I'm not being as diligent with my blogging. Maybe I'm becoming a bit more selective in writing, rather than lazy. If the reason for the lower frequency is that and not laziness, maybe what I need to do is to refine the selection process itself. Not every thought that crosses my mind needs to be committed to the interwebs, after all, especially not thoughts that could be very fleeting and just brought about by the spur of the moment, only to be quickly regretted afterwards.

This has been a good year, and I don't even know if I can make the proper traditional year-end things I always have done before. This is weird, when you consider how viral a lot of the things I've done has gotten, from the BaYo thing to the Cybercrime Law article. I never wrote mainly for the money, so this blog not being one designed for profit isn't the reason, either. If it were, then I should be writing on a weekly basis for the POC, at least. But I'm not.

I guess there's just so much I want to say, but also so much I feel is best left unsaid. When I'm too hurt, when I'm too happy, when I'm too anything but contemplative, I feel very suspicious of the words coming out of my keyboard, and I cut myself off at that point.

Nowadays, I also hate writing nothing but a wall of text without a picture somewhere in the mix to at least catch people's eyes as I write.

Have I caught them yet?

So I guess we'll see where we go from here. I'm just really at a point where I have no idea why I'm meandering like this, but I can't say I'm so unhappy, really. It's been a good year, I'm grateful, and I'm still alive.

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