Contemplation

.:See You At The Crossroads:.

I will not be bitter. I will not be bitter. I will not b... oh, screw it.

Yeah, I'm bitter. Because I underachieved for the past four years, and the one chance I have to slowly get myself back into fighting form, the people who supposedly supported me are the very same people who screwed me over.

And even if I assume the best of them, even if I assume they never meant for that to actually happen to me, you still can't take away the fact that I am still in bad shape because of what happened. It was the chance to start getting myself over again. And it was taken away from me without much of a fight.


I was already there. But I let it all slip away. Because I was stupid. Or principled. Sometimes, you can really confuse those two. And as much as I want to try to not put the blame on the people who undercut me perhaps unwittingly, I can't help but feel betrayed that it came to this.

Because now I do ask myself. Where do I go from here?

Suffice it to say, what could have been the biggest show of my life thus far ended up becoming nothing. Such is my lot in life.