Tuesday, April 01, 2014

.:Project 52 2014 (13/52): Say Goodbye:.

I really don't like Chris Brown, but this song does cover what I want to say today better than nearly any other song I could think of. I'll hold off on the sordid details for now, but let's preface this by making it very clear: this is not an April Fool's joke. I don't even see the point about making an April Fool's joke as vague as this would be.

.:Project 52 2014 (13/52): Say Goodbye:.

How do you let go when you, you just don't know what's on the other side of the door when you're walking out?

I don't know where to go from here, because the only life I've known has been one with you there. You were a constant I almost took for granted. And to this very day, I still don't want you to go. I just don't know if I have any right to ask you to keep on staying, when I know that in your moments alone, all you could think of is moving on.

But then, what comes after this? What would waking up the next day without you there bring? Would it really shake me to the core, or would it just be business as usual soon enough? Maybe I don't want to find out. Maybe I'm too afraid to.

Talk about it, and everything I tried to remember to say just went out my head So Imma do the best I can to get you to understand Cause I know...

But that's the thing, isn't it? There's no more room to talk. There's only room to do things. To let go. To try to ease the pain of goodbye by bracing against it because it is so imminent, so inevitable, even. It feels like it's coming, and there's not a damned thing anyone can do to stop it.

And all I could do is pray for a miracle. Even if I'm not the praying type.

There's never a right time to say goodbye...

Too soon, and you're classless. Too late, and you're insensitive. Saying goodbye is never easy, no matter how many times you tell yourself you're ready for this, and it was all just a matter of time, to begin with. It's a question of when now, not if.

But can you blame me for hoping against hope?

But we know that we gotta go our separate ways...

I hope that wherever you go from here, you will be in a better place. a happier place. I don't know what else to say, really, because as I try to think about you and about everything we've shared with each other, I realize how generous a soul you truly were. And now, I have to say goodbye to all of that.

And I know it's hard but I gotta do it and it's killing me, 'cause there's never a right time, right time to say goodbye... 

And I will miss you so. And I will cherish you so. But how much longer can I truly expect you to be with me, when our time is running out, yet there's still so much left to say, so much left to do?

So all I could do now is say "thank you."

No comments: