I'm fairly stressed out, and I just want to vituperate all these worries away...

My temper has been running short as of late, and I know I've been a bit unfair to Grace... I guess I can't help but feel extremely frustrated, seeing how cut off I seem to have gotten from OB because of this connection I'm using. It refuses to recognize me as logged in... compound that with some stress (Though far less than schoolwork...) from RX, as well as the anguish I have over receiving tomorrow's grades. I'm extremely stressed. TWICE my Monster Rancher 2 save file has gotten corrupted, leaving me no choice but to take it from the top with the game... this proves to cause a lot of anguish to me, simply because I've made a lot of progress in the game, only to be struck by this. TWICE.

Yep. I still need some cyber-hugs... :sweatface:

My younger step-brother, Dondon, graduated from grade school yesterday. His best friend, Elgin Alonso, is the son of a certain actor named Chinggoy Alonso... not that I expect any gasps of awe from anyone over that...

I still have to be thankful for a few things, though... Bear with me on this weird topic, but... I'd like to talk a bit about hugs.

Don't get me wrong. I put a lot of stock in the value of (real) hugs. I must say that I treasure them a lot, since they're so few and far in between for me. That's prolly because I'm a fairly reserved person, who wouldn't want to make people feel uncomfortable. I don't trust my touch to be one that is free from being misinterpreted. Rather than risk giving the wrong signals, I just play it safe... but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate hugs. In fact, I appreciate them a whole lot. It's one of the few forms of contact that holds ABSOLUTELY no malice in my mind (Though I still am conscious of how others might take it.). Whilst Grace used to think that hugs are a guy's way to creatively cop a feel, it's simply not the case with me...

Which leads me to be grateful to people I can actually hug without fear of sending them the wrong notion that I'm lecherous or anything to that effect. Grace would be one of the obvious people. Lately, it's been the same with *jaded*. God knows how glad I am to finally be able to call someone my best friend and not EVER run the risk of falling for her (Not that she's unattractive... I have certain reasons beyond that.). I'm also thankful Grace trusts me enough with *jaded*, and I can swear here that I haven't ever violated that trust.

But prior to yesterday, there has been one friend whom I cared for a lot (And still do to this day, though in a purely Platonic manner now.) who has always been elusive to me... I'm half-tempted to mention her name, but I guess it's obvious who I'm talking about, anyway, and I would want to play it safe, unless if she were to tell me it's okay to mention her name. Since I made a surprising discovery about my readership, which led me to realize that someone who's welcome to read my blog (As if anyone isn't...) is doing so, but the connection might prove... uncomfortable. Nevertheless... in the long time we've known each other, I never got to hug her. That's prolly because I was too stupid and made my situation with her too... complicated.

Yesterday, I managed to talk to her, and I guess it was clear by then that I'm over the past issues with her already. And she knows it. It took a huge event for me to get out of that phase I was stuck in for ages, but it was well worth it. After some time, I told her that as far as my life is going right now, it's good, but there's just one simple hangup I have left... I never, in all the time I've known her, got to hug her.

Now, it's no longer a hangup. For that magical moment, it simply happened. And I'm glad it did. As I hugged her, an onrush of emotions flooded me. Surprisingly, one emotion was conspicuously (And thankfully) missing from that onrush- romance. Without a doubt, I was over her. But in place of that failed romance I have moved past, a friendship, a very beautiful one, stands in its place.

And I smile and marvel at it.

You know who you are. Thank you. You know how much that means to me.

In other news:

I have an LJ now... it's HERE, but there's nothing in it yet. Thanx to a friend in History class for that... :)