.:The Nice Guy Vs. The Bad Boy…:.
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I don’t know about you, but I’m absolutely stumped why some women would, all things being equal, prefer the “bad boy” over the “nice guy”.
This isn’t another typical “nice guy” rant, mind you. I don’t think I fit that bill, what with my megaflare temper and all. And by “nice guy”, I don’t mean socially inept dork who tries to use friendship as a means to parlay some sexytime. To put it bluntly, I mean the nice guy who’s every bit as appealing as the bad guy except he doesn’t have a mean streak.
Is he perfect? Not sure. Will he never cheat on you? I dunno. But between him and the bad boy, it would appear that he’s the more logical choice, yet for some odd reason, a few women do choose the bad boy, still.
Not all run-of-the-mill nice guys are the creepy little stalkers we read about, hanging around their lady love, never asking them out, hoping that by being there for them at all times, they’d have their lady love tear their clothes off in an irresistible whorl of passion and fury.
Other nice guys know that what it takes to be loved is to be worth loving. Consider it a barrier of entry of sorts: if you don’t work enough to show you’re worthy, be it whatever criteria one’s worthiness is measured, you can’t expect to get a lasting relationship out of anyone at all. Sitting around, hoping they’d be noticed won’t work. You have to put your neck out there, and risk rejection.
The fake nice guys who think they can be loved just the way they are give the genuine nice guys in the world a bad name. Women are not vending machines that, when loaded with enough “good deeds”, will suddenly dispense “sex”. It doesn’t work that way, so if for one minute, you think you’re a nice guy, and you think this way, please, really ask yourself if you’re a genuine nice guy, or just using that as a euphemism for “creepy dork who thinks kind acts will yield physical reciprocation”.
Then again, when asked about it, women friends of mine who have chosen the bad boy actually have given some answers…
The common one is “it’s a challenge”, sorta like how some women date gay men in hopes of turning them straight (Delamar mentioned how much she liked Boy George and thought if she could go out with him, he’d turn straight for her.). There’s an innate appeal in having a bad boy become a good boy, because let’s face it, there’s probably some good quality in that bad boy to begin with, so he’d just be made of awesome if that happened.
Amusingly enough, this is rarely the case when a guy dates the “bad girl”. The girl dates the “bad boy” so he can be turned good. The guy dates the “bad girl” because she’s g-ooood. So there’s a slight disparity between the way men and women think on this count, and this doesn’t necessarily reflect well on men, either.
On the other hand, a more sensible reason I’ve heard is that the bad boy is the “devil you know”. That makes sense, when you consider that most nice guys have the label, fair or unfair, that “nasa loob ang kulo nila”. At least, with a bad boy, they’re actually predictable, to an extent. So between the predictable bad boy and the nice guy they can’t gauge properly, they’d rather go with the sure thing.
To be honest, I don’t know either way. I’m a bit miffed every now and then, though when I get told that I’m “too much of a nice guy”, especially when the people who really know me I’m quite the rascal in reality… and when I hear that whole “where have all the nice guys gone” schlock, I can’t help but just be annoyed even more.
Thoughts? Comments? Violent reactions?
.:Amusingly Enough…:.
… one of my students thought I was playing a joke on her when I talked to her online, thinking I was one of her classmates, playing an elaborate prank on her.
When I finally linked to my blog, I think she caught on that I wasn’t joking…
Heh.
1 comment:
Hmmm...your actually right, i think allot of guys have been deluded on the fact of what woman like for so many years, and now it has turned to so many social issues. Where they get tired of the bad ones that never change and in their (woman) later years are looking for the good ones...***sigh**
To be honest woman don't know what they want, and its kinda sad having most guys changing to most woman's expectation rather than being their own self.
And i might be gutting my self later for saying this, but i think i understand where a gay guy perspective of a typical woman might be coming from.
.....it a messing word out there.
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