Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Bitter Ocampo...

.:They Say It'll All Get Better In Time... Don't Bet On It...:.

I was supposed to be asleep seven hours ago. Instead, here I am, still awake, and completely dumbfounded.

I'm still walking around wounded, and I still am trying to survive despite the pain I'm going through right now. I know that I have to take it one miserable day at a time, but the realization that I was in it alone is just a bitter pill to swallow.

I know I was far from perfect. I know I still am. But I just thought that things wouldn't be this way. I just thought I had things pegged to be better than that. Instead, here I am, just wasting away, asking myself why I gave my everything when I know I shouldn't have. It's like I never learn. I give so much of myself, and now, more than ever, I am empty, because I kept on giving and giving even when it was hurting me already.

I know it won't be easy for myself. Perhaps on the flipside, it would be. That's always been the case, anyways... I pour my whole heart out, and in the end, I discover, much to my chagrin, that I was such a fool.

I let myself be played, and this is what I get. Congratulations to myself, then. I sure showed 'em, huh?

Here's to hoping I don't wake up again once I hit the sack. I'm angry, I'm hurt, and fuck it, I'm bitter. Pardon me if I feel entitled to feel that way right now.

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