I swear! It's really a "massager!"
Diving equipment. Televisions. USB Flashdrives. USB Mouses. USB Keyboards. USB Fountains. USB Lamps. USB Refrigerators. USB USB's. You name, it, if they can put a warranty sticker on it, you got it.
And the amazing thing about these products is that they are ridiculously cheap yet perfectly serviceable. Obviously, you don't expect the sun and the moon from a 32GB flashdrive that costs under a thousand bucks, but it does what it's supposed to do, and it does it well.
In fact, their product selection is so spectacular, their prices are so insanely low, that they can afford to hire the surliest of salesladies to man their stores! And by surly, boy, do I mean surly. I've seen more smiles during the Pope John Paul II funeral. It's pretty amazing, really, because in every single branch of CD-R King, all their personnel act the exact same way. You would almost begin to believe that they were all trained to be as grumpy as possible or something.
Despite the horrid service, people still come to them, because the prices really make that much of a difference. It's just that damned cheap, really.
So imagine my (non-)surprise when I found that CD-R King now sells, ahem, "massagers." These 150-peso marvels come in many colors and in two settings: normal, and orgasmic. I mean, turbo. This is no mean feat of technology, folks: they have created a fully functional "massager" that is bound to give plenty of relief to all those who need it.
A surprising sight greeted me upon making my purchase, though: the salesladies were smiling at me. I don't know if this was a freak occurrence, or they were being judgmental as I held the, ahem, "massager" in my hands.
Yet all sophomoric jokes aside, there's no question that as CD-R King's inventory of random items grows, so will the need to patronize them. Their roster of items for sale is so robust they actually have some items on display that have "price to be determined" labeled on them! How's that for marketing?