Kel And Jay On This Issue Of Mangaholix!

.:Mangaholix Issue 6 Is Out!:.

Grab a copy of Mangaholix 6 and not only do you get your usual dose of Filipino manga goodness, you even get an excellent feature on Kel and Jay, albeit the gay-sounding innuendo of calling us the "Cosplay Community's Official Magical Tandem" does color the whole thing a bit... lol.

.:Happy Birthday, Cheska!:.

Elbert's niece turns 6 this midnight. I, for one, am honored that I did a magic show for her, and it seems the people genuinely enjoyed the show, especially the jokes I threw that just flew over the birthday girl's head.

In any case, it was fun, and meeting El, Arvs, Harvs, Mary, Lora, Cheska, and Cheska's parents was really cool. Hope we can spend more time in the near future! =D

Music And Arts Festival...

... I'll be there today. See you in Megamall!

Also, don't forget to be there at Krispy Kreme for the KK treat... also in Megamall, at 7PM...

Just A Song Thrown Into The Air...

.:Today's LSS...:.

Unang Araw
by Sugarfree

Sadya ba talagang ganyan
Palakad-lakad ka't nakatungo
Sa'n patungo?
Ngayong wala ka na
Kailangang masanay na muling nag-iisa
Sa'n ka na kaya?

'Wag mo akong sisihin
Kung minsan ika'y hanapin
Ito ang unang araw na wala ka na
Ito ang unang araw na wala ka na


Nasanay lang sigurong nand'yan ka
'Di ko inakalang pwede kang mawala
'Yan na nga
Nababato, nalulungkot
Luha'y napapawi ng singhot
At talukbong ng kumot

'Wag mo akong sisihin
Kung minsan ako'y iyakin
Ito ang unang araw na wala ka na
Ito ang unang araw na wala ka na

Wooooooo, ito ang unang araw na wala ka na...

Loafing Around...

.:Funny Thing, That Fork Bending...:.

To give an air of legitimacy to my demonstrations of Psychokinesis, I tend to attribute my fork bending to something taught to me by Fr. Bulatao.

Amusingly enough, as he would gladly tell you, I taught him that, not the other way around. Lol.

.:Huhuhuhu...:.

If you haven't seen Sad Movie, then this post will contain a few SPOILERS. Stay away, if you don't wanna be spoiled.

So before I went to Psychology class where I was treated to a very interesting moment of reading a person firsthand with little more than pure intuition guiding me (Fr. Bu was suitably impressed.), I met up with My Beloved again, and this was a much better rendezvous than the last time.

I guess it's been a while since we had a good time together, really... since things got messy, it's been neither here nor there, but this time, we just really relived old times, and watched a movie.

I didn't think "Sad Movie", the Korean movie that stars My Sassy Girl's Cha Tae-Hyun, would turn out to be that sad. The upbeat tone of the film seemed like it was an exercise in irony, but lo and behold, the film didn't disappoint.

By the end of the film, I was crying buckets of tears. I am such a sucker for these heartwrenching films, and I must say, this was one of the best ones I've encountered so far. My Beloved was practically laughing at me for being such an emotional sap, but I didn't care and just kept on bawling my eyes out. Especially that part where Cha Tae-Hyun had to break up with himself because his girlfriend couldn't do it herself...

The movie was top-notch, and the four interweaving storylines just went so well with each other, although the videotape of the fireman at the end fell flat for me. If the movie ended at the whistle, it would've been perfect, though.

I liked the way they tied in the fireman and the girl, the girl's sister and her artist crush, the kid and his mom, and of course, the guy who tries wooing his girlfriend by getting a job where he plays the messenger for people who want to break up with each other.

Each story seems to have its own trope it wants to play up, really... while each trope seems capable of holding a movie on its own, I like that the four were combined into one film not only for the "something for everyone" feel, but also to minimize the risk of overplaying any of the four tropes. It was nice, and the buildup seemed so happy and despite the film's title, one was inclined to believe it was going to be happy times.

But then, as things seemed on their way to a happy denouement, a quadruple whammy strikes, and you're hit with one emotional blow after another. After another. After another. It was incredibly hard to watch in a good way towards, the end, truth be told. With a stellar cast like this, I guess the film was meant to deliver.

If you want to watch a movie guaranteed to tug at your heartstrings, "Sad Movie" is a good bet. I definitely loved watching it with My Beloved, and I hope when you get to watch it, you'd love it, too. =)

And to My Beloved, thanks for spending time with me today. You know it made my week just a little happier...

The Joker's Fatality On Mortal Kombat Vs. DC Universe!

.:They Faked Us Out!:.

Supposedly, we were going to expect MK vs. DCU to be a not-so-violent version of the game, but now it can be told... we were fooled!

While the superheroes still won't have Fatalities, the villains and the Mortal Kombat characters definitely will.

Without any further ado, then...

I may not like how clunky Mortal Kombat's fighting system is, but that's gold!

Today's LSS...

.:Going Out To My Beloved...:.

It's one of those songs that just really hits home. I know we didn't exactly have a great time when you dropped by the house last Wednesday, but I guess this song says it all, if things really don't end up the way I hoped it would...

Bittersweet
by Sara Bareilles

Bittersweet seasons.
Mistake a warm winter for spring.
Seems like I’m best at leaving when leaving is not the best thing.

You couldn’t help it if you needed more than I could give.
That’s just the way it goes. Now..

I call you misplaced but never a waste of my time.
Everybody’s gonna make mistakes,
But you’ll never be one of mine.

You couldn’t help it if you needed more than I could give.
That’s just the way it goes.
I knew you felt me leaving long before I ever did.
That’s just the way it goes now.
Loved me fearless when you needed to.
You would not rest till you came through.
So god bless and thank you.

There is no anger, it's just you and I and the truth.
You can try to make her but love will not be forced to bloom.

You couldn’t help it if you needed more than I could give.
That’s just the way it goes.
The only love worth fighting for is one that you can win and,
That’s just the way it goes now.
You would not break but you could bend.
And for love’s sake you let love end,
But I still swear that you were god sent.

And you stood before me knowing that the wings I have you gave.
And that’s just the way it goes now.
And I barely have the breath to breathe much less to fly away.
And that’s just the way it goes now.
And a silence entered the room for a one last,
"I’m gonna love you."
So god bless and thank you.
So god bless and thank you.
Thank you.

An Eternal Sunshine For This Spotty Mind...

.:I Long For An Eternal Sunshine For This Spotty Mind…:.

I’ll be fine without you. O RLY?

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot! / The world forgetting, by the world forgot / Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! / Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd.

- Alexander Pope, From Eloisa To Abelard

In the Michel Gondry film, “Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind”, we are introduced to the concept of a machine that erases memories selectively in order for one to forget about something significant in their lives…

Sometimes, the pain just hits you too hard, and you find yourself unable to move, unable to function, unable to live. You feel so empty, and you feel that everything in your life is going awry.

The Lacuna machine isn’t perfect. There’s a gaping hole where something or someone important used to be, and it’s possible you’d repeat the exact same mistakes if you’re not careful, as one would find out if they watched the movie that starred the indefatigable Jim Carrey and the brilliantly sassy Kate Winslet. It wasn’t going to be a feel good movie. It was a movie meant to make you cry… a movie meant to make you think.

Despite the risks, if this process existed, on the surface, I’d want to erase so many things, so many people from my memories.

I’d want to forget about My Favorite Mistake, my Red Kryptonite, every single person who has hurt me in ways I can’t even begin to describe.

But mostly, I’d want to erase you.

I don’t want to remember you. I don’t want to remember the things we used to do, all the things that remind me of you. I don’t want to feel this pain in my heart. I want to eradicate you completely, to obfuscate whatever you mean to me, just so I could pretend that I’m okay and I can move on, even if it’s all a lie. I admit: I’m not strong enough to live with the pain. I’m not strong enough to soldier on and be cool with being without you. It’s far too much for me to deal with.

Maybe the process has begun… my phone recently got formatted, pretty much deleting most of my memories of you. I don’t have any of your letters. You made sure of that by taking them back. It’s a slow and painful process, seeing you being eradicated from my life, piece by agonizing piece.

And I learn to loathe myself a little more each day when I wake up. Because I know if I did things differently, it would never have come to this. Things would’ve been so much better, and I would have still been with you had I made better choices about us along the way…

Every single day, I think of you a hundred times, from morning ‘til I go to sleep. But as time passes by, perhaps there would come a time that I’d think of you only ninety-nine times, then ninety-eight, then ninety-seven.

Then maybe I’d begin to forget how your smile looks like… or how that look in your eyes was just a look of love that I will never see again… or how sweet your kisses are… or how your hugs would make me feel like I’m something special when I’m not. They say time heals all wounds. Maybe it will, as my memories fade away.

And as the memories slowly get hazier and hazier, I think back to what it would mean to have someone like you in my life… and realize that no matter how hard I try, I can’t quite remember what it was. I know something in my life is missing, but I have no idea what it is.

For despite somehow being able to completely eradicate all memory from you in my life, I know there will still be a void in my life that can never be filled up… not by anyone else, for as long as I live. And that space will forever remain empty as each and every memory of you is eaten away.

Not even a spotless mind would find an eternal sunshine. Not when it means that I would never have you again, even if I no longer quite remember what I’m missing.

It’s because I love you. Far more than I ever loved anyone, far more than I’m willing to love anyone ever again. And if you do leave me, if you do walk away, I can’t survive if I don’t eradicate you from my life, though I know it would never make me happy, and though some would rather that I’d simply let the pain remain.

Nobody will replace you. Nobody can replace you. And that is why I don’t want to let go, because I know you’re my once in a lifetime, and letting you go would mean that I’d let the most wonderful person in my life walk away.

I guess this is the point where I really ask myself once more… do I really want to erase you from my life? On the surface, it would seem my life would be easier without any memories of you whatsoever, but in reality, it’s just my mind ignoring the gaping hole in my heart that will forever be there once you’re gone…

For as long as I’ve known you, you’ve made me feel worth far more than I ever believed myself to be. For as long as I’ve known you, you’ve made me feel special and treasured and cherished… something I didn’t believe I deserved in my life.

I can’t thank you enough for that.

Yet now that all that is gone, I can’t bring myself to look at you and realize that everything we once shared is gone now. And I have only myself to blame for that.

By some act of God, I may forget you in time. But I’ll never forget the love I have for you.

Eraserheads Reunion Concert Canceled?

.:Eraserheads Reunion Concert Canceled: Don’t Blame DOH. Blame Marlboro:.

There is much buzz over the news that The Eraserheads’ Reunion Concert is officially canceled.

We all know that the main reason at this point is that the Department Of Health has specifically refused to issue a permit for the concert to push through simply because of the existence of one Republic Act 9211 (Read Section 4, letters L and ironically, Q. It clearly says the E-Heads concert is a no-no.), which forbids tobacco companies from advertising, promoting, and the like. Sponsoring an event like this easily falls in line with that.

I find it sad that most people register their anger at the Department Of Health for acting out what the law says. We can all say that there are “more important things to focus their attention on,” but isn’t it terribly convenient for us to want the DOH to look the other way when it benefits us? Such hypocrisy to the value of the law should not be tolerated, and is downright pathetic. We castigate others for violating the law, but we willingly wish to look the other way when it would serve our purpose well.

Is there any wonder then why the Philippines is one of the most corrupt countries in the world?

The Eraserheads concert is, in all likelihood, canceled, and it’s obvious why it ought to be so. While we are quick to complain about the DOH and decry how they are “grandstanding” and trying to cause a scene, we seem to be very ignorant of the fact that it doesn’t take an idiot to know Marlboro was wrong in even trying to stage this event, so either Marlboro was being incredibly stupid, or they played their cards right to generate massive publicity without having to really advertise.

At this point, whether or not the event pushes through, Marlboro already got their money’s worth as far as public awareness about them is concerned.

This was a ploy from the get-go. It’s incredibly irrational to think that Marlboro didn’t realize this was going to happen. They played this out, and now, they get to reap the benefits… instant awareness. And assuming the concert doesn’t push through, with no advertising whatsoever.

For people to demand DOH back off is just plain ludicrous.

If we’re going to level unreasonable demands, we may as well demand that Marlboro back off, and offer the event to another, less controversial, sponsor. There is no reason to crucify the DOH for doing their job.

Don’t blame DOH. Blame Marlboro.

A Birthday Wish From The King Of Wishful Thinking...

.:A Birthday Wish That Won’t Come True…:.

As some of you know, my birthday is coming in, oh, a little over a month.

What you may not know is given how horrible this year has been for me on nearly all fronts, I am thoroughly disinclined from celebrating my 25th birthday. Finally, an annual tradition for my friends is broken, and I simply don’t have the heart to organize anything. Not to mention that my birthday falls on a Monday, so meh.

In my mind, there was one party I wanted to organize, but I know it would never achieve fruition. It’s just me being the king of wishful thinking once more…

I call it a “Bury The Hatchet Party”.

In my mind, I’d invite all the people I used to be good friends with, but for one reason or another, we’re no longer cool with each other.

In my mind, we’d eat, maybe even drink, maybe watch movies, have fun, and reminisce about the times we were great friends, or in the case of some, a great couple.

In my mind, they’d only leave the party when things are cool between us again, and I’d finally rediscover some of my erstwhile friends and perhaps even become close to them once more.

In my mind, this would be the happiest birthday I’d ever have, as I finally end longstanding hurts, feuds, and even heartbreaks. After weeks, maybe months, maybe years of all this drama, I get to end it all and finally be at peace with myself.

And sadly, “in my mind” is all this hope could ever come to be…

Because in reality, the only time they’d bury the hatchet is when they can bury it in my face.

And that’s why I don’t think I want to celebrate my birthday this year. And why I don’t think I’d have a birthday by next year, for that matter.

Sigh…

The Grab Bag In Bulletpoints...

.:My Apologies…:.

Due to crazy stuff going on in my life right now, I think I have to hold off on writing about Diane’s and Mark’s wedding, as well as the Influential Bloggers night…

Having said that though, lemme rip off a few pictures from Jac for your amusement, and give you some bullet points of what piqued my interest in both events…

Click the links for the pics, all pictures came from Jac Ting Lim.

The Wedding:

- The groom had his hair cut. I almost didn’t even realize it was him!
- I hosted the reception and was wearing a ridiculously white suit.
- I also did magic during the reception, and my Beloved was even there. She was the assistant for the infamous rope trick.
- As if the yaoi-ish moments weren’t enough, I hitched a ride home with Mario. In the bridal car. Yes. Two well-dressed men are in a bridal car. Umm… congrats?

The Influential Bloggers Night:

- I didn’t win $100! Grumble. =P
- As usual, I introduced myself to everyone as Marcelle Fabie from a certain infamous website carrying a certain infamous blogger’s name.
- I didn’t win $100! Grumble. =P
- The night’s music started off 80’s, and as a clamor for a Rickroll grew, the genre promptly shifted to contemporary hits. Whut?
- Did I tell you yet that I didn’t win $100? Grumble? =P?

Posting Tomorrow...

Oh, it'll be a killer. Trust me.

In the meantime, Bon Voyage to Sacha and Wayne! Take care back in Canada and don't do anything I wouldn't do!

More On Inquirer. Net!

.:Blogged By Mr. Villafania!:.

Much thanks to Alex Villafania for featuring me not only on video, but even via blog. It's funny to note though that this interview and video was shot a while before the Kel and Jay show really got into full swing, so as you can see, there was no mention of my Penn and Teller influences, and only my disdain for Valentino was mentioned, without my tempering counter-opinion of how exposure can be good when used to enhance a performance...

Having said that, this was a really great piece written by Alex that I feel captures what I've been doing for magic the last couple of years, sans of course the more recent developments. It's a nice snapshot of how I was four or so months ago, although the sad part of all this is the fact that by the time this came out, Campus 99.5 was already reformatted, so even that blurb about me training there is... dated.

Thanks, Alex! This is awesome!

I Need To Sleep!

... and so I will...

ngork...

Sorry. Posting much more sensibly by next week...

There's Something About Bachelor Parties...

You are warned. This is not an all-ages post. Seriously.

.:So Sue Me. This Is All So Shiny And New To Me...:.

Y'know, if you're one of those people who has encountered more than one bachelor party with a stripper, you can stop reading right now. You probably will tell me something like "this stuff happens all the time, it's not something to poke fun at", and spoil my fun.

Now, if you are, like myself, uninitiated to these things, then allow me to poke fun at it. =P

Now, to protect the identities of the people involved, I shall codename everyone involved. But since you know which wedding I've been to recently, it kinda narrows down who's who, right?

Having said that, it was the bride's idea to organize a bachelor's party, not to mention that the party happened at her place, so I guess it makes sense why the party wasn't the raucous sinfest uninitiated people such as myself assumed these things would turn out to be...

.:Prelude...:.

The groom had no idea there was going to be a bachelor party. Obviously, he wasn't expecting one would happen right in his own bride-to-be's condo unit. For all intents and purposes, it was merely going to be a pizza and video games party night, but even the groom-to-be realized something was amiss when the bride-to-be disappeared for no apparent reason.

Soon enough, the reason became clear when a knock on the door heralded the arrival of...

.:The Stripper...:.

Ever since my immersion in Olongapo during college, I've been mighty averse when it comes to bar girls, prostitutes, and yes, strippers. Thanks to the immersion, I am psychologically wired to not enjoy these things, and tonight was no exception.

Now, having said that, this does not preclude me from having preconceived notions about how a stripper would conduct herself in lieu of the ones I see in movies, albeit of the male variety, where they come in as a fireman, and start stripping for a bridal shower. For some reason, I don't recall the female iteration of this in any movies I've seen.

That being the case, I didn't expect that when the door would open, a Chinese guy would walk in, followed by a meek-looking girl who's smiling very shyly.

"Good evening po," she says.

Are strippers really this polite? Seriously. There go the images of someone coming in, playing music from a boom box, and going straight into the performance. Nope. It didn't work that way.

The handler asked the groom-to-be for something that could play the CD's they brought while the stripper dressed up. Apparently, some cosplaying was involved, which made us joke that she'll come out as a PSP just for the groom-to-be.

In true gamer fashion, it turns out that the only thing in the room capable of playing CD's was the PS3. So the handler was holding a PS3 controller, figuring out which track was which, and finally, it was go time. No more awkwardness and just pure, anadulterated, adult-rated fun, right?

Wrong.

.:Strike One!:.

So out she came in a schoolgirl outfit.

I, being melancholy at the time, remembered that one of my exes was a former student who graduated before I started dating her.

Right then and there, I was thrown out of the mood, as she gyrated for the groom-to-be to the tune of Britney Spears' "Give Me More". Outside of that, I do not recall what tracks were used for music. Trust me: it's better this way. It might ruin it if one of your favorite songs of all time were used as a track that night... really.

So she gives a lap dance for the groom-to-be, and the groom-to-be looked nervous, but was not looking like he'd enjoy this at all. Clearly, he wasn't too keen on the girl, and by the looks of it, neither was anyone else in the room. Now don't get me wrong, she wasn't ugly, but despite the fact that there were three non-geeks in the room, even they weren't really into it, for one reason or another, and how the girl looked had little to do with it.

I was seated on the floor, so she couldn't give me a lap dance if she wanted to. She went back to the room she changed in after one song, though, and then...

.:Strike Two!:.

... she came out in a nurse's uniform.

Have I told you yet that My Beloved is a nurse? Now that you know, and knowing that I was melancholy at the time, how d'ya think that made me feel?

By the time she was dancing in front of me, she was staring at my blank expression, and quickly moved on to the next guy. Even if nobody in the room was getting into it at this point, I was just so clearly disinterested that she didn't push the issue anymore.

.:And The Games Begin!:.

So there were body shots, and body rubs to be given out, and I have to say, the last part was the only one worth noting, where she would take some guy, lay him on the bed, and then, well, tease him, pretty much.

After two guys were done, and we shall call them the Boxer brothers, they were looking for a third "volunteer". Nobody seemed to be moving. I stayed seated on the floor.

But this one guy, let's call him "Mr. Carry On", got up to grab a drink of water.

Predictably enough, another guy pushed him and he tripped on the mattress/bed, and the stripper practically pounced on him because he seemed so eager.

After finding out he was a briefs guy, we had a hearty laugh at his expense as he was clearly in heaven regardless of being surrounded by guys who were ribbing him for finally being "touched" by a woman.

Needless to say, I think he got drunk shortly after that.

.:And... Strike Three!:.

Here's the funny thing... she was supposed to be there for three hours, but simply because nobody was into it and we were all too nice like just a bunch of guys and a girl having good clean fun with little clothing involved (Emphasis on clean. It was almost... fit for general consumption. Well, almost.), it was clear that there was no reason for her to stay longer than the 45 minutes or so that she was there.

And so she left, still with those polite niceties, but here's the kicker...

"Sige po... ingat po... God bless po..."

I don't know about you, but I may not have had many strippers come into my life, but really, is "God bless!" the last thing you'd tell your clientele after doing your thing? I don't judge what she does, but really. I mean, even as a magician, I don't say "God bless," and I'm not exactly denying how strongly Catholic I am... =P

.:The Drunken Aftermath...:.

So, back to Mr. Carry On...

Here's a transcript of his drunken rant to the groom-to-be in the presence of the bride-to-be after she came back...

How many girls do you know who are gamers, game developers, share your interests, and cosplays for you?!?

I don't know about you, ****, pero 't*** ina, I don't know what you did right in this life to get someone like that, you lucky bastard.

I know I'm drunk right now, pero f*** you, you are such a lucky bastard!

Don't you just love this guy? =P

.:The Wrap-Up...:.

I seriously hope to never experience a bachelor's party again. It does nothing for me. Really. If it weren't for the fact that Mr. Carry On was a bag of laughs that night, I would've come out of it rather cross, really.

Nonetheless, more power to Ms. Polite Stripper. I may never see her again, but she knew how to ride the current (Dammit. Bad choice of words!) and made the whole thing just as fun as it can be, when it was clear that nobody in the room was particularly... horny. =P

But please, don't cosplay as a schoolgirl. Or a nurse. Or heaven forbid, a doctor. That just completely threw me for a loop right there...

Magikel On Inquirer.Net!

I'm on Inquirer.Net right now! Wow! Check it out!!!

Backblog Lineup...

1. The Wedding.

2. The Bachelor's Party.

3. JGL Assemble!

4. Influential Bloggers.

5. Why "old" doesn't mean "suck".

6. Nice guys, bad boys, and everything else in between.

In Memoriam: The Campus 99.5 Megapost

It ain't over 'til it's over...

.:The End Of An Era - Campus 99.5: 23 March, 2008-14 August, 2008:.

Not since Chico and Delamar have I found myself this invested in radio. To this day, I still shake my head and ask myself how this could've all happened so soon. Just a bit over four months ago, Campus 99.5 came into the radio scene, promising something new with an old school flavor, and many were hooked. Hades, I drank the Kool-Aid.

But alack and alas, it wasn't meant to be.

This post will not pull any punches. It will name names, if needed be, and will not hesitate to give out details to prove a point. This is the story of Campus 99.5, however tragically brief the story may have turned out to be.

So sit back, relax, grab a bite or two, because this post is going to be pretty damned long. I was contemplating if I'd put pictures here, but I guess it's unnecessary. Just let the words reach out to you, and know that this was written from the heart.

The Resurrection: As You Believe!

I woke up on Easter Sunday to a text message from Jaybee, telling me to tune into 99.5, because apparently, she's back on radio. I thought it was just her, but upon listening and hearing the familiar voice of John Hendrix imploring me to "maintain this frequency", a chill ran up my spine: Campus was back, and I couldn't be more excited.

You see, when I graduated from college, I applied to many radio stations in hopes of becoming a radio personality. For all of one day, I was a member of Campus Aircheck Batch 3, since they weren't able to promise me anything at the moment in 97.1 way back in 2004. A day later, WAVE 89.1 hired me, and that pretty much was my home in radio land for the next three years. Despite that, I was still friends with most of the jocks from Campus, since I usually dropped by them, particularly when I had to go report to work for QTV-11. Jaybee was one of those friends I made from Campus Radio.

I never considered getting back into radio after my teaching stint with Reedley ended, and I was fine and dandy concentrating on my thesis and my mentalism/magic/hosting career, since it was paying off pretty well. But something about Campus coming back after all this time struck a nerve with me, and once again, I felt that radio wasn't done with me yet.

Without anything but pure guts willing me on, I did the rounds of the stations again: RX, WAVE, Campus, and even NU. NU was inclined to hire me albeit in a marketing position with only the on-air stuff as a second thought. Despite the fact that I had a sure shot in NU, I stuck it out with Campus, primarily because I was very familiar with the format, and of course, I had my thesis to worry about.

Campus, despite not giving me any promises, appealed far more to me. This was a station I grew up listening to before I discovered RX. This was a station I loved, and these were jocks I admired and respected. John Hendrix was very accommodating to me, and after a few weeks, I was given a trial run on air again...

Mister Vader: Akala...

So I was given a trial run, and my show came after the Brewrats, where I met DJ Tado and DJ Angel. I was hooked. I loved the feel of the station, I loved the fact that I could see John Hendrix, Jimmy Jam, Jaybee, Joe Spinner (That's a lotta J's!), and then reconnecting to Migz whom I got to know from Heart FM, albeit he had to change his name to Zack Attack. The other jocks who came from the Hit Squad were likewise amazing people, such as Joshua/Big Z, Neil Almighty/BoyToy, and Ron/Jagger.

My first on-air foray wasn't even my show itself. It was with the Brewrats, as they guested me. I felt welcome. I felt home again. I was at home in radio.

It was a great time for me. I was on air as "Mister Vader", and that meant I was using the name I've always been fond of using online for the longest time, and I was extremely happy about the fact that after almost a year, I was finally back on radio.

Unfortunately, that comeback lasted all of two days.

I expected that I might be taken aside and even taken off the air, but not *this* soon. I was, in a nutshell, told I wasn't "Campus enough", and that I had a lot of rust to work off, especially since I was way off with my ad libs and my voice quality. It was deflating, and it was certainly embarrassing, but I soldiered on, after taking about a week off to think about what happened to me.

Campus Aircheck: Susundan?

When the Station Manager, the Triggerman, broke the news to me that he felt I needed to reacclimate myself to being on air, and I sucked it in and took it like a professional. Over the next two weeks, I trained with John Hendrix on and off, but after a while, Joe Spinner took the initiative to really drill me as best he could. This meant that I would find myself training more often with Joe Spinner, until I ended up being paired with him regularly from 9-12 noon. He became my mentor in my time in Campus, and I will forever be grateful to him for taking me under his wing.

Meanwhile, I was having the time of my life, getting to know the other Campus Aircheckers, making me technically both batch 3 and batch 5. It was fun, because I met people like Deedah, Hazel, TJ, Gracey, Vanessa, Cherry, Matthew, Miguel, Vice, Czari, Sabs, Tabel, and eventually, Cat, and a few others who were sorta jocks but still technically Aircheckers, Piper, Alex, and Sharon Yu. We bonded, we laughed, we had fun, and we even had unforgettable moments of romance, intrigue, and action. Ask Iza and Arn. I'm sure they'd tell you.

I was rechristened "Sparky" thanks to Migz, and the going was good. It was acting like an elder brother to the Aircheckers I ran into, and I was standing in for training whenever the opportunity presented itself. I may not be an official jock on Campus, but I had years of radio experience under my belt all the way back from high school...

I felt like I had a new group of friends I'm very comfy with. We even started an "Aircheck Da Who" Multiply site, where we gossiped about ourselves, just because. It's hard to even believe all of this stuff happened in under five months.

The Redux: Back 2 Me!

En route to the Campus launch party, Redux, we actually got visited by Boo Kyler from 103 1/2 MAX FM, and he told us that we pretty much "kicked their @$$3$" in sales for that month. He congratulated us and welcomed us back, and for the next couple of months, it appeared we were doing well sales-wise. We were at worst, at number four (out of five), and at best, at number three. At least, that's how it was for a couple of months.

Yes, you heard it right. I wasn't fibbing when I said we weren't last in sales. Unfortunately, I can only speak for two months out of the four and a half that Campus was on the air. Can I spill this now? Well, I just did.

By the time we got to Redux, things were in full swing. I opened for the show with a magic show(!), and people were having fun in the party, as everyone from Zelle to Fuse to Callalily to Spongecola to Bamboo were performing. Needless to say, the night was electric, and despite any snags that may have occurred, the overall prognosis thus far was positive. Who could have possibly thought things were going to slowly turn sour, right?

The Necessary Pinoy Exchange Sidebar: Bakbakan Na!

The thread may now be closed, but Campus 99.5 went 164 pages on Pinoy Exchange before it finally wrapped up. There was a lot of stuff going on, and a lot of discussion in that particular thread, and even jocks like John Hendrix, Jimmy Jam, and Joshua chimed in there when they got the chance.

It's sad, because the lifespan of the station paralleled the lifespan of the thread: it was all ups and smiles until shortly after Redux, when it seemed a rift inexplicably began between the Campus listeners and the Brewsters, and I found myself smack dab in the middle of it, trying to pacify both sides and letting them understand that there was no conflict to speak of. People were making mountains out of molehills, and I took it upon myself to alleviate the tension in the thread, and at some point, even found myself being lashed out at for no good reason at all.

Shortly after the issue turned into a Brewrats vs. Boys Night Out debate which meant the Campus feud was all but forgotten, some users came into the Campus thread to ignite flamewars by insulting the jocks, calling them "old" and "baduy", and (at the time) falsely claiming that Campus was dead last in the sales. They weren't.

I stood my ground and called out any shenanigans, even getting personal insults thrown in my direction in the process, for acting as if I were a jock when I wasn't, and I saw them belittling my status as a Campus Airchecker. I avoided insulting them and just pointed out that it's their opinion, but there's no need to call anyone names, but the thread degraded into flamefests, and I was called many things I have never heard anyone call me in my life.

By the end of the thread, the haters were rejoicing, and instead of being angry at them, I only felt sorry for them. If their life revolved around whining against a radio station that is not actively trying to hurt them, and if they rejoice over people losing their jobs and kicking people while they're down, then I really can't help but feel sorry for them. I said my piece, left the thread, and just overall lost a little bit of faith in the human race there.

I conducted myself with dignity in the middle of people insulting my friends and my mentors. To me, it was personal.I took it seriously because I felt it was unfair how people were putting down the station when normal people just tune out instead of showering the thread with potshots. I was misquoted and made out to be a liar, but the truth will out, and at the end of the day, I know I have made a difference in that thread and made some friends, even.

Rev Up: I'm Yours!

When an opening suddenly showed up due to staff reshuffling, I found myself handling a show during the graveyard shift again. Despite the fact that I still had to identify myself as Aircheck Batch 5, the show for the people who "can't sleep, shouldn't sleep, or simply don't wanna sleep," Rev Up, was back. Yep. Same tagline as Insomaniacs way back in WAVE, I know.

For those wondering, no I wasn't on the payroll for this. Out of love for the station, I did it for no payment, although it was a tad problematic for me because I wasn't that financially well off at the time, particularly since I didn't have any shows in July. Despite that, I soldiered on, never mind what my circumstances were.

This was where I really bonded with people like Cat, Neil, and Gracey. I found my groove on the air again, and it was just great being able to host my own show again, and really ad lib through it. Quite a marked improvement over my last few months at WAVE, really, so I ran with it.

I have to say, given the 1+ month I had in that show, I acquitted myself well, and have lots of newfound friends and listeners to show for it.

Alack and alas, I ignored the signs that all this wasn't going to last...

The Beginning Of The End: Slippin' Away...

There are some things that happened behind the scenes that personally involved me that I'd rather not go over because I feel it's not my place to air out dirty laundry. Nonetheless, anyone who has me on LJ would probably know the details of it, and anyone who knows me personally would know what connections I had to offer and what transpired on that turning point (for me) in Alabang...

Having said that, there was lots of tension in the air, and I'll leave it at that. People didn't see eye to eye on a lot of things. The writing was on the wall, but the thinking was if the ratings did come, then whatever the case may be with the sales (I was, by end of July and early August, pretty much in the dark on this.), things would smoothen themselves over since it was going to be all good once the ratings back up the moves of the on-air staff.

I never even got to know how the station did. All I know is that like when the Triggerman took me off the air as Mister Vader, "I expected it, but not this soon."

The Boulevard Of Broken Dreams: Disconnection Notice!

I was hosting the wedding reception for Mark and Diane when I got a text message from the Triggerman...

"As of 5PM today, I am no longer connected with Real Radio 99.5. Thank you very much for your support."

Since it contained only a subtle indication that Campus itself was gone (Real Radio 99.5? Shoulda seen that a mile away.), I took it to mean that Triggerman resigned or was terminated from the company, but after asking Joe Spinner about it some more, I realized it was a freaking reformat. Since I wasn't on the Aircheck SMS shortlist, John Hendrix didn't tell me that Campus was gone (This, despite being asked to reiterate I'm from Aircheck every ad lib by the man... odd.). I found out for myself, and next thing I knew, wild speculation was flying all over the place.

"I heard they got fired!"

"I heard Triggerman resigned and the rest of the jocks followed suit!"

"I heard it was sales' fault. They didn't do their job."

"I heard the sponsors threatened to pull out if the reformat didn't happen"

"I heard the ratings were bad."

"I heard the ratings were good, but the sales were still terrible."

"I heard this, I heard that."

"Haha! Sparky, you just got FIRED!"

"How can he be fired when he's not even HIRED?!?"

"Goodbye, Campus. We're going to miss you."

"Hooray! Campus is dead! Long live RT!"

In a span of a few hours, I was almost literally swimming in details, both real and fabricated, from all sides involved, even those who really weren't involved, but wanted to pretend they were. To this moment, I don't know what to believe. All I know is that it felt like a punch to the gut, and it was almost full circle from when I thought only Jaybee was back in radio to when I thought only Triggerman left the company... I didn't see the whole picture until I really sat down to think about it...

And by then, when I listened to the radio, all I heard was music. No jocks. No nothing. Just plain music.

Campus 99.5 was indeed gone too soon. It was the end of an era, however short-lived it may have been.

The Aftermath: It Will All Get Better In Time...

I've come to terms with the recent developments, and am at peace with myself with how I have conducted myself in the months I have been under training in Campus. I don't have any regrets with giving my time freely and voluntarily for those months, and I feel no anger over the end of an era yet again.

On a personal level, I am not slighted over losing a "job". It wasn't mine to lose, to begin with. All the service I have rendered was a labor of love not just for the Campus format, but for the radio industry as a whole.

On behalf of my fellow Aircheckers, though, I would just like to remind everyone else that the people who were affected by this are real people. Resignation or termination or whatever the case may be, these are people who have hopes and dreams, families to feed, and are no different from you and me.

For the life of me, I can never comprehend why people would take personal happiness from people losing their jobs, or in the case of Aircheck, having their hopes and dreams dashed. While all this may be temporary, it's as real and true as it can get. As I talk to my other fellow Aircheckers about what happened, I feel the genuine sadness over what has transpired. Real feelings of people who truly and personally invested themselves into the station.

I hope the people who laugh and point in the middle of the tears being shed by my fellow Aircheckers can sleep well at night, knowing that they revel in the suffering of another human being. I, for the life of me, cannot wish such a fate on even my own worst enemy.

I came into this all those months ago with much excitement and happiness for the return of Campus. I never once used this as an opportunity to compare them with Hit, or put down any other jocks, mainly because I respect the legacy of Hit and RT as a whole, all the same. How I felt about Campus had nothing to do with what I thought of the previous station's format.

I went on-air for all of two days as a DJ trainee before I was told I wasn't "Campus enough", and while I could've picked my ball up and went home from then, I decided to soldier on and train under Campus Aircheck, despite having been a jock in another station for three years already. I turned down an offer from another station with a radically different format because I wanted to do what I can to help Campus, even at my own personal expense.

I went through the unpleasant experience of the flamewars on PEX between Campus listeners and Brewsters as a pacifist, until finally we realized there was no reason to fight, to begin with.

I tried remaining a pacifist as people actively began to not just criticize, but demean the station, all the while respecting their opinion, but calling out any shenanigans when it comes to inane speculation, and baseless accusations.

I took it all in with nary a sweat when I was insulted for no good reason other than I dared to respond, to clarify. Truly, I was fighting city hall.

I took it all, personal attacks and everything, because you know what? I love radio too much to let some troll or flame-baiter sully my mood.

But when some of the closest friends I've made in the last five months are breaking into tears over what happened, and when I think of those who choose to laugh and kick us when we're down, I realize that this is something I can no longer take sitting down. Just know that if you are rejoicing now over what has happened, you are building your smiles on the tears and broken hearts of many people.

I will always treasure the things I learned from Campus, both good and bad.

From the many times I've been corrected by the person I look up to as my mentor, Joe Spinner...

... To the eye-widening things I learned about the industry from Neil...

... To the crazy antics I've had with my Fellow Aircheckers...

... To the wasak moments I had with the Brewrats...

... To the Rickrolling fun with Jaybee, Alex, and Piper...

... To the radio stories swapped with Jimmy Jam and Dada...

... To the hi-bye's with Nana...

... To the yet-to-be-delivered promise of a hook-up courtesy of David...

... To the fun conversations with Joshua and Ron...

... To the sunshine that was Lee...

... To the John Hendrix (And often, Jimmy Jam too!) impersonations...

... To the "High School Musical" tripping with Migz and his christening me "Sparky"...

... All of this is what made me feel so alive the last few months.

Even the times spent with sir Gener, sir Cherry and the other technicians, and everyone else in the office was nothing short of memorable.

To the people who rejoice over the apparent demise of Campus 99.5, I sincerely pray for you people. May you never find yourself in sad times and have people laughing in your face when you need a helping hand the most. Nobody deserves that. Despite all you have done, I will never wish that upon you.

And with that, my life will go on, wherever it may take me. If I could do everything over again, I'd still have chosen to go to Campus 99.5 despite knowing what I now know.

This post is dedicated to all the people, from jocks to office personnel to fellow aircheckers I've encountered in the months I've been with Campus 99.5. Whatever happens, you all have been a significant part of my life and of my growth as a human being.

So long, and thanks for all the fish! I know we'll still see each other again!

One Last Song: Saludo, by Six Cycle Mind

This song goes out to everyone in Campus 99.5. I wouldn't be here right now if I didn't love you guys. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for all of you guys. Thank you so much for everything, thanks for bringing the Campus back into our lives, if only for a while. Sa inyong lahat, saludo ako.

For the people who can't sleep, shouldn't sleep, or simply don't wanna sleep, thanks for Revving Up here on the number one hit music station in Metro Manila, Campus 99.5! This is Sparky, a proud member of Campus Aircheck Batch 5, signing off.

Saludo
by Six Cycle Mind

May bago kang liwanag
Isang dalangin
Pag alanganin sa takbo ng buhay

Refrain:
Punong-puno ng galit ang magulong paligid
Nakaya mong magtimpi
Lahat ay may ginhawa sa taong may tiyaga
Natuto kang sumabay

Chorus:
Saludo ako sa‘yo
Saludo ako sa ‘yo

Bawat araw, bawat oras
Punong-puno ng pag-asa
May kalungkutan sa iyong damdamin
Hangad mo ay magandang bukas

(Repeat Refrain)
(Repeat Chorus)

Ilang umaga man ang haharapin
Kapiling ang mga dalangin
Bawat pagsubok na babanggain
Ligaya mo ang aking nais
Bawat lungkot na sasaluhin
Tinig mo ang aking awitin

(Repeat Chorus twice)

(Repeat Refrain 4x)

R.I.P., Campus 99.5...

Post to follow on Sunday... I haven't thought about what to really say yet, but hopefully, my post on Pinoy Exchange will suffice in the meantime...

KEL AND JAY @ NBN-4 TONIGHT!

I'LL BE ON TV TONIGHT WITH JAY MATA, 9:15 PM, AT NBN-4. The show is entitled "Ang Say Ng Kabataan", and they'll be talking about mentalism!

Congratulations To Mark And Diane!

I'll post more sensibly, but for now, I just want to congratulate two of my great friends, Mark and Diane for tying the knot! May this Ad-Hoc connection forever remain strong!

Woo-hoo! Thanks also for giving me the honor of hosting and even doing magic for your wedding...

And much lurve to my Beloved for being there. It was definitely something I'm grateful for...

The details are all hazy, but I guess it's understandable due to the things that happened that day...