Sunday, March 20, 2005

.:Today's LSS:.

I tried so hard, and got so far. In the end, it doesn't really matter.

If the reason for this recent horrible development is what I think it is, then I guess I just shot myself in the foot over a pipe dream.

In The End
by Linkin Park

It starts with one thing
I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It's so unreal
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on, but didn't even know
Wasted it all just to watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when

I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter

One thing, I don't know why
It doesn?t even matter how hard you try, keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme, to explain in due time
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I'm surprised it got so (far)
Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me (in the end)
You kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I


I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know (2x)


.:First, The Interesting Stuff:.

Had quite a few pictures with some friends of mine over the past year. It's a regular camera, though, so I have to empty the film first before I get any pictures on me. Have quite a few grad pics as well, but beyond that, I think what ought to be fairly interesting lately was that my weblog's stock has gone up to $456 or so, from $127 a mere month ago. I'm of course pertaining to the Blogshares game I'm currently part of...

And yeah, I got to chat with Madame Sky after the longest time. Interesting developments in her life...

.:And Now, All Hades Breaks Lose...:.

Jumping into character for a few moments...

As if the Powers That Be thought Marcelle didn't have enough of a hard time dealing with the loss of $105 and the theft of his cell phone...

... Marcelle won't be a teaching assistant next schoolyear.

It came as the shock of the year to me when Dr. Ibana talked to me before the graduation ceremonies began and told me that I didn't make the top four cut of the applicants, as their budget could only accommodate four and not the initial six they were hoping for. I have a vague idea what the reasons against me were, but I hope none of them involved how I dealt with my students.

I was stunned, and I was on the verge of freaking out in front of my erstwhile boss, but I kept my composure and bottled all the frustration in until I had safer avenues to vent out my frustrations.

I contacted Sacha and told her I was dropping by her house, and she kindly told me it's fine. As I was on my way, I ran into a former ADS co-member, Sharon, who graduated last Friday. I told her how frustrating the whole thing was, and she agreed I did the right thing by not attending the graduation anymore. It's the night of the graduates. No need to ruin it with my brooding presence. Hades, I couldn't even shake their hands by the time I was on my way out of the area, so I guess that was a good idea. I do care about my students who were about to graduate. That's precisely I didn't want to be caught in a moment of despair...

I can't really blame anyone for the setback except myself. It's not Dr. Ibana's fault, nor is it the top four's fault. All the power to them, I guess...

Sacha and Kathy helped me brainstorm for alternative short-term sources of income, and the results were pretty interesting. They likewise helped me get back my smile as we realized that all three of us were in dire straits in varying degrees. Misery loves company, but this isn't to say I take joy in other people's sorrow. That's precisely why the argument that "some people have it worse" is particularly irrelevant to me.

That being said, I had dinner with the Chuas afterwards, and we found someone who owned a bag that looked like Neko... oh, well. Tita Harvey was asking me about what happened to one of my students, though, and we had an interesting discussion about it. By now, Sacha should more or less know why I haven't been the pain that I have been prior to recent times...

Afterwards, I got home and managed to talk to Gyn for a short while about what happened. Nothing, really. I just told her about what happened as far as the brainstorming went. I think Grace was the one who gave even more ideas to help, although when I talked to her about the certain online conversation I had with another friend, Grace likewise realized that how the both of us are right now is far better than if we just held on in vain with all the crazy things going on in my life right now...

I'm stumped. If anyone has any hostings, writing gigs, PR or advertising freelance campaigns, or Hades, bridal shower gigs that might require my services, do let me know. You know how to reach me...

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