Back From The So-Called Dead...

.:I Wish...:.

... that I at least make it through the first auditions for Avenue Q... hehehe.

.:Tasting The Conditions:.

I don't want to sound too cryptic, but I'm now practicing a routine that only a handful of people know about. I hope I can do it justice, because it's a veritable reputation maker.

With all the headway I've been making in improving my skillset, it's high time I really took this show on the road.

.:Ish Her Birthday!:.

Kathy Chua celebrated her birthday last Friday night, and it was awesome. The food was definitely a treat, and both John and Kathy had a huge hand in it.

That being said, other than Clair, JM, Krisette, and Hrbs, I also met a few people like Honey and a former jock from 99.5 RT. We had very interesting conversations, and as usual, Liquid Metal was the highlight of the night for the new blood.

In any case, the party was really great, and so was the food. I've had some rough spots here and there, but nothing a can of beer (And a rendition of Sinful.) didn't smoothen out, I guess.

.:w00t!:.

I hosted a debut last Saturday at the Intercon, and it was definitely a load of fun.

I got there rather early, and talked to Raizza and one of her friends, Dan, who was acting like the event planner. That being said, I was pretty much expected to perform magic during the party, and so I had a few effects at the ready, mostly relying on Liquid Metal, and a Card Melt effect.

When the debut was in full swing, I was really glad that the audience really responded well. People laughed when some guys tried to clink glasses at one point during the 18 roses, and I reminded them that it's not a wedding. The guests were a joy to perform magic for as well, and it was a load of fun talking to all the people there, including some of Raizza's friends, like Ana and Dan and so forth.

Ah, well. It was really cool. When the party ended, I left in fairly high spirits. You see, while I was surrounded by gorgeous Chinese girls, all they ended up reminding me of was my Beloved. It's unbelievable the kind of effect she has on me.

.:Pride And Shame:.

It's not the easiest of feats for me to meet my Beloved's friends. Truth be told, there's a huge gap between me and them when it comes to what makes us respectively tick. I have my quirks, they have theirs, and unlike my Beloved, they are not inclined to understand these things all too well.

Last Saturday, immediately after the debut, I went ahead to Fiama to find my Beloved, who was hanging out with her friends. It was the birthday celebration of one of them, and I got there and met some old ones, but there were others as well, including this one guy, who happens to be the one my Beloved was head over heels into for years.

It was mostly mundane for the most part. I shut up and stayed in one corner, because I didn't want to seem like I was acting like I was too familiar with them, but at one point, my Beloved was too busy talking to the others in the place and so I had to fend for myself.

At one point, one of the people there tried to start some small talk with me, and it eventually got to the point where she noticed the stuff I do with my ring, and found out that I was a magician.

From there, I was under the impression I managed to entertain her friends.

From there, my Beloved felt it all went to Hades in a handbasket.

One of her friends was not in the least bit amused, to be honest. Truth be told, it could hardly be helped. The guy is the judgmental type, and there was little I could do to make a good impression.

This has been a sticking point between me and my Beloved for the longest time. If the situations were reversed, I wouldn't ever act as if I were embarrassed of her. She understands this fundamental difference between us, and I'm trying to respect that more. Quite honestly, I'm just not used to it because even among my friends, we all proudly back each other, so long as nobody is doing anything hideously wrong.

It's a lot to ask of her that she actually introduced me to her friends. While such a thing is no big deal to me, I really have to consider how much of a gesture it was to her.

In her own way, she is proud of who I am and what I do. It's just that at the end of the day, she still has her image and her long-standing worries to deal with.

It's up to me to temper my expectations. I know all too well that she really wants this to work, and since I do as well, both of us have to learn to not rush and take things one day at a time.

We have our whole lifetime ahead of us to look forward to. I have to realize that and relish that fact. =)

I love you, my Beloved!

.:Instant Click:.

Elbert and I had an interesting Monday since we went to Megamall and met up with my Beloved. It was definitely fun, because Elbert, being how he is, instantly clicked with her, and they ended up ganging up on me, as Elbert promptly denied that he likes having studio pictures taken.

Next thing I knew, it was a two-on-one. We were there at Tia Maria's having lunch, and then headed off to Shang afterwards and found a new arcade at the basement, where we went for videoke. I sang a few songs, but Elbert consistently got higher scores than I did, and my Beloved promptly smiled and agreed that the machine was “reliable” since I didn't score better than El... =(

I'm glad the two got along well enough. I really want my Beloved to feel welcome to the people in my life who have always been there through thick or thin.

In any case, afterwards, I took her home, which was a bit of a problem for me because I had a splitting headache. Despite that, I soldiered on and took her home, and it was pretty much one of the most wonderful times ever spent with her.

.:Simple And Grandiose...:.

There's nothing quite like a lingering hug to cap off the day. A lingering hug that lasts for half an hour, but stays on in my mind and my heart for the rest of the day.

I love her so much. I can't believe how much our relationship has developed over time, and while things weren't instantly amazing, they're getting there slowly, but surely. I'm extremely happy that she makes all this effort, and sometimes, it's the most simple gestures from her that mean the most to me.

You see, she was worried about me because I wasn't feeling well. She felt that I should just sleep instead of, well, watching “Sana Maulit Muli”, and on a whim, I asked her if she would mind watching it for me and letting me know what happens.

Unbelievably, she said she would. I know how much she hates these soaps because hey, it's not like Kim or Gerald are actors who will be winning any acting awards anytime soon. Hehehe.

But so she did it, and she told me that she'd do it because it's for me, even if she probably wouldn't like the show at all.

It's the amalgam of the simple and grandiose that really makes an impression on me. It's how she makes a simple gesture count for so much because of the sincerity that comes with her effort. I can't help but appreciate what she's done, and I can't help but believe her when she tells me that a phrase as powerful as “I love you” no longer seems sufficient for her to convey to me how strongly she feels about this relationship. That forever no longer seems to be enough, for that matter.

It comes with the territory, I guess. From the prayers we share with each other at night, to the endless hugs we give each other every chance we get, it's the simple things that make me feel this is going to work.

Just now, while I'm watching Sana Maulit Muli, I'm strongly reminded of what we're fighting for in one of the lines Gerald Anderson has been stumbling about, where he talks about how fast time can fly, and we shouldn't let the time pass us by. You never know what tomorrow might bring. If you don't give your all in the hopes of giving it all another day, you just might never find that opportunity to do it at all.

Thank you, my Beloved. Thank you for making a million small efforts that are worth far more than one gargantuan effort any day of the week. When saying “I love you” no longer seems enough, whenever forever seems to be too short, all of these small acts of love prove far more powerful than they have any right to be.