Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Some Things Just Fall Into Place Sometimes, But Some Things Fall Apart More Often...

.:The Dichotomy:.

... an unexpected greeting. A connection that persists simply because it's so easy and it just works that way. Time. Space. Circumstances.

Sometimes, the universe lines itself up to remind you that no, life isn't all about hardships and finding yourself scaling insurmountable odds just to find happiness. Sometimes, it's just right under your nose. Or right under your feet, even.

I guess, when all the pieces just fall into place like that, the only question that remains would be: are you ready for it? Did the universe align itself perfectly but in the wrong time? Or is it only you holding yourself back yet again?

I don't know if I'm willing to find out anymore.

Because true, things fall into place sometimes, but more often than not, things just fall apart. Years upon years of trying. Of being told things are all right, only for the lies to dissipate in an instant when the lie is no longer convenient to stand by.

And it's so easy to be angry. To point to the Other and say it's their fault. But before you do that, you can't help but feel... what is missing with you that you simply aren't good enough? What is wrong with you?

They say that love is patient. That love is kind. What they didn't say was that love is immune to pain. It isn't. Yet all love can do, when it is so true, when it is so sincere, when it means nothing but the best for that person who is loved, is for love to keep on keeping on. No matter the pain. No matter the hurt.

So where do broken hearts go, then? To stay where things fall apart after everything has been said and done, or to go where things fall into place without even trying?

I don't know, but all I know is I refuse to give in to the anger. I refuse to cheapen how deep my feelings run by lashing out and saying anything hurtful. I'm better than that, and she deserves better than that.

I just pray that someday, someone sees that I'm worth it, the way I have never ceased believing that she was worth it, after all this time.

If I stand all alone, will the shadow hide the color of my heart?
Blue for the tears, black for the night's fears.
The stars in the sky don't mean nothin' to you, they're a mirror.
I don't want to talk about it, how you broke my heart...

- Rod Stewart, "I Don't Want To Talk About It"

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