Thursday, November 29, 2012

.:Project 52 (48/52): On The Unicorn Effect (And Why We Keep Running After Them):.

.:Project 52 (48/52): On The Unicorn Effect (And Why We Keep Running After Them):.

Shun! Shun the nonbeliever!

A few years ago, I wrote about The Unicorn Effect, and it has always stood out as one of those very brief, underdeveloped, but ridiculously true ideas I’ve formed through experience.  I’ve never really taken the time out to think about the topic more thoroughly, until today.

There’s always an appeal, after all, to “the one that got away,” to the point that we tend to be so hung up over the notion and we wish and pine away for that very person, even if we know very well how and why they got away. Hell, sometimes, they even deceived us and pulled the wool over our eyes, but because we loved the illusion so much, we just keep on going and holding on to the lies.

And yet, let’s face it: if the one that got away were to come back, would it really be the awesomesauce we built it up in our heads to be? Maybe, but most likely? Probably not.

The fact of the matter is, the Unicorn Effect has an addicting and very endearing effect for as long as the mystique of the Unicorn remains: for as long as we don’t have what we want from them, be it a relationship, sex, a green card, or whatever else. The Unicorn will always fascinate us until we either catch them, find a new Unicorn to run after, or recognize that there are more sensible goals to aspire for, really. And honestly, maybe, just maybe, the Unicorn really isn’t worth it.

But how does one know if they’re running after a Unicorn, or if they’re really going after something or someone worth pursuing and keeping? Well, I suppose that’s where it’s a good idea to come up with, say, eight simple signs (Oooohhh! Like an 8List?) that it’s the case. Maybe I’ll do that some other time, but I think the first and simplest sign that someone is a Unicorn is if you have no endgame plan with him or her in case your plan works and you win him or her over. If, after that, you have no idea what you’re supposed to do, then it’s pretty clear that the thrill is all in the chase for you, and maybe, just maybe, you shouldn’t be relying on that rush to be the foundation of a sensible, mature relationship.

Case in point...

At the end of it all, if the one you want is more than just a Unicorn, then you know what you truly want, and it’s not merely the hunt that gets you high. It’s no guarantee that the person is not a unicorn, but it’s a genuine start in the right direction. After all, the absence of an actual plan means that consciously or subconsciously, you simply don’t expect things to become reality for you, and that will definitely throw you in for a loop when you magically succeed where you did not expect to.
 So what then, should we do with the Unicorn? Why, what mythology always did hope of us to do: to leave it alone. It’s better off that way.

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