Tuesday, December 07, 2004

.:I Want To Hear This Song:.

Do They Know It’s Christmas?
by Band Aid

It's Christmas time
There's no need to be afraid
At Christmas time, we let in light and we banish shade
And in our world of plenty we can spread a smile of joy

Throw your arms around the world at Christmas time

But say a prayer

Pray for the other ones
At Christmas time it's hard, but when you're having fun
There's a world outside your window
And it's a world of dread and fear
Where the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears
And the Christmas bells that ring there
Are the clanging chimes of doom
Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you

And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time
The greatest gift they'll get this year is life
(Oooh) Where nothing ever grows
No rain nor rivers flow
Do they know it's Christmas time at all

(Here's to you) raise a glass for everyone
(Here's to them) underneath that burning sun
Do they know it's Christmas time at all

Feed the world, feed the world, feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time again

Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time again
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time again
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time again
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time again

.:The Weekend:.

Two days of classes got canceled, which makes for a really long weekend, to say the least. Nonetheless, I'm fairly pleased about what happened during the weekend, as I was mostly just resting and making up for a lot of days that I was particularly underslept. I guess it really helped a lot to get a respite from the toxicity of daily hurly-burly goings on, as well as the toxicity that certain people invariably bring to me...

I mostly enjoyed playing NBA Live 2005, and I managed to let my mom try out the calamares already. I think she really liked it, to say the least. Let's hope that works out well enough...


Both versions of “Without You”, one by Charlie Wilson, another by Paolo Santos, refused to play during my boardwork yesterday. I found that particularly annoying because I had my heart set on playing either version, so I instead had to settle for “Moonlight Over Paris” by Paolo Santos.

I got away with a rather... risque quip on the air, though...

Kel: Here's something from 98 Degrees now. The song you'd want to hear on your honeymoon... “The Hardest Thing”.

Oh, well. The KBP's not going to be breathing down my neck anytime soon, anyways... heh.

Managed to chat with Evitz after a long time, and I also had a nice exchange with Lani Lao. Hopefully, I'll meet her tomorrow during my boardwork. That ought to prove interesting, to say the least. I still feel very much annoyed over the fact that my digital camera is nowhere to be found, mainly because I don't recall ever bringing it out of the house ever since the time I took pictures on behalf of Dr. Ibana. Beyond that, there's no reason for me to really use it, so I figure it should really still be somewhere here at home. I'm genuinely miffed because this is such a waste of money for me if I had to buy a new camera... sigh... that, and the contents of the old camera's memory card are rather significant.

I swear: if I just find that camera, I'd be happy again. I can forgo most any other bit of grief I happen to have going against me right now...

.:My Wishlist:.

Everybody's posted one. And Hades, this isn't merely a Christmas wishlist, really. I've been hankering for a good chunk of these things for ages...

1. Ancestral Recall. Yes, I'm willing to buy it. Someone sell me one! Same goes for a set of Mishra's Workshop, as well as a set of Volcanic Island and maybe even Mana Drain. Any bits and pieces of the Power 9 would really be great, too.

2. A better digital camera, and the destruction of the old one. If I cannot find the old digital camera, I want to make damned sure nobody else can use it. In its place, I hope for a better one. Maybe I can badger a relative over this or something. My old one worked with 3.1 Megapixels. I'd be happy with 4.0 or something, and built-in lighting, so I don't have to rely on the flash to see what my night shots would potentially look like...

3. Richard Garfield, Ph.D. Less important than the top thing on my wishlist, I still would want this legendary creature in my Unhinged deck. That, and the R and D's Secret Lair card...

4. Letters. No, I haven't forgotten that a good deal of my friends still owe me letters from my birthday when they did tell me they're going to give me one to replace the sentimental value lost when all my SMS's tragically got deleted. I'm still hoping that those who are reading this would take the time out to simply write me a letter for my birthday/Christmas.

5. Most importantly, peace of mind. I pray for this every single year, yet something always happens to deny me of this. I hope that this year, I would manage to resolve certain conflicts and finally give me some peace of mind, even for just a couple of weeks. This has been a particularly controversial year for me, to say the least.

A Freeverse by Marcelle T. Fabie

(Author's Note: You think this is a better poem to rhyme? Or should I leave it as freeverse? Just wondering, really...)

Un-chain me from these vicious lies I delude myself with from within
As I un-consciously un-do all the good I have ever done
Un-shackle me from this quagmire
This infernal prison that makes me so un-free, so un-connected from you
Four walls of un-caring; a ceiling of un-happiness
If only I could un-learn what I now know all too well
To un-love you and un-shatter my heart, as I realize too late
That it was a fatal mistake to un-conceal who I really am to you

And now, locked in isolation, I wish to un-make these memories we have shared
To un-recall these special moments, to un-cry the tears I cried
While you look away so un-affected, and it tears me apart
I clutch in despair at these cold bars, un-nerved by your callousness
I scream out your name, yet these lamentations remain un-heard
I am nothing to you, and it's un-important that you've left my ravaged soul
In total un-rest, pining un-realistically to break free from this state of un-death
I am a prisoner of my own making, an un-wanted, pathetic fool for you
It's of no consequence to you that I fall apart, nothing to un-mask in your eyes
Save for an un-mistakably heartless gleam as I break down in hopelessness
I beg you to un-lock this cell, set me free, but in your eyes, I am un-worthy
In the end, I un-derstand all too well: you are the cause, and you are the cure


I still can't seem to find my camera. It's really taking its toll on me already, and I still am extremely ticked off that I haven't seen any signs of it anywhere... it really gets on my nerves, to say the least...

.:The Top Ten People I'm Most Grateful To This Year:.

One thing I always did on a yearly basis since I started blogging was to come up with five people I'd be so grateful to for the year in preparation for the New Year and Christmas by giving myself a dose of gratefulness and positivity.

However, due to this year's hurly-burly pace, I realized that it was highly unfeasible for me to just stop at a Top Five. This year, I decided to do a Top Ten instead, as I figured it was more appropriate because I really have a lot of people to be grateful for, to say the least...

Without further ado...

10: Chico and Delamar. The dynamic duo has simply been integral to where I now am in the radio industry. Simply put, they inspired me to reach for my dreams and to try my luck at being a dj, despite my initial fears about my voice and all. While I am of course grateful to my co-workers in WAVE, such as Anne, George, Jda, and Robi (Who is now no longer with WAVE...), Chico and Delle are still the people who really set the wheels turning for me to get into radio. If it weren't for them, I highly doubt I'd even consider a career in radio.

Moreover, Chico and Delle trained me under Radio 1 for a good part of the first half of the year, which really helped me adjust to WAVE when I got there from RX. They've been wonderful friends, and though I had this little conflict with one of them recently, I still can't overlook all that they've done for me, even counting this year alone.

Thank you to Chico and Delle. You'll always be a constant source of inspiration for me in all that I do in this industry.

.:Bah, Humbug:.

I did say this is an emotional rollercoaster of a post... happy, sad, happy sad...

In spite of the Christmas rush coming in full swing, I still don't feel too happy about the occasion, in all honesty. Other than the pet peeve of realizing that this is the second straight year that I have not heard a single Jose Mari Chan Christmas song before December, I realize that akin to last year, a good deal of people have really forgotten all about Christmas. Maybe we should start calling it “Santamas” already, given how overtly commercial the whole holiday has sadly ended up.

Kids are more focused on the gifts than on commemorating the birth of our savior. Adults are too busy trying to get this gift or that gift, hoping to earn the 13th month bonus, than to actually find the time to appreciate what the season is all about. Corporations giddily pump out remixes of Christmas carols to pimp their merchandise even more (Yes, “Hello to the world.” I'm glaring at you.) than they did for the rest of the year.

Is this the season of giving, or is this the season of buying? Marcelle cannot but help feel dismayed that a good chunk of people have lost precisely what makes Christmas important. It dismays him even more to realize that he makes this plea for a change year after year after year, yet nothing happens. Alack and alas, perhaps people just won't ever learn.

Christmas is not one of Marcelle's favorite holidays. Scratch that. I mean to say, what has turned out to be Christmas is not one of Marcelle's favorite holidays. I mean, it's fairly obvious what's getting my goat here: the fact that after all this time, after all these years, Santa Claus still rates way up there over Jesus Christ. People are more concerned about giving and receiving presents (Yes, I'm knocking even certain generous souls who love giving presents.) over receiving Christ in their hearts and lives. I'm not the most religious person out there, but my belief system has made it such that I cannot but attempt to make Christmas more meaningful than a season for presents and joy.

I mean, do they even know it's Christmas? People whose families were struck with recent floods? People in Sudan? That homeless kitten you turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to? That wonderful person I inevitably fell out of grace with? Christmas, then, is little more than a commercial construct, an excuse to make people spend more in the belief that this is their little way of spreading good will to all. I'm stuck in this sad quagmire. I realize how much I wish to break free from it, but the grip of the season, or rather, the grip of the bastardized season, is too strong. And I would be loathe to look at Christmas with disdain, lest people mistake me for being a Scrooge who simply despises the season because it's the cool thing to do.

Of course you don't intend to help the man spread this devastatingly demeaning hegemony of the meaning of Christmas. I mean, I know I don't intend to . But who was it that once said that the road to Hades is paved with good intentions?

Merry Christmas to you.

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