.:Today's LSS:.

I love this song. No specific person to dedicate it to, but I still love it, nonetheless.

Karma
by Alicia Keys

Weren't you the one that said, that you don't want me anymore.
And how you need your space, and give the keys back to your door.
And how I cried and tried and tried to make you stay with me.
But still you said that love was gone, and that I had to leave.

Now you, talkin bout a family
Now you, sayin I complete your dream
Now you, sayin I'm your everything
You confusin me
What you say to me
Don't play with me
Don't play with me.

Chorus:
Cause what goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.
Now who's cryin, desirin to come back to me
What goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.
Now who's cryin, desirin to come back

I remember when
I was sittin home alone
Waitin for you
Til 3 o'clock in the morn

And when you came home, you'd always have some sorry excuse.
And explainin to me, like I'm just some kinda fool
I sacrifice the things I want to and do things for you
But when it's time to do for me, you never come through

Now you, wanna be a bond of me (eyyy)
Now you, have so much to say to me (heyy)
Now you, wanna make time for me
What you do to me.
You confusin me
Don't play with me
Don't play with me.

(Repeat Chorus)

I remember when
I was sittin home alone
Waitin for you
Til 3 o'clock in the morn
Night after night
Knowin sumthing goin on
Wasn't home befo me
You was,you was gone
Lord knows it wasn't easy, but believe me.
Never thought you'd be the one that would deceived me.
And never do wha u was supposed to do
No need to hose me fool, cause I'm ova you

Cause what goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.
Now who's cryin, desirin to come back to me
What goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.
Gotta stop tryin, to come back to me
What goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.
It's called Karma baby.
And it goes around.
What goes around, comes around,
What goes up, must comes down,
Now who's cryin, desirin to come back to me

.:Eep:.

Sore throat, asthma, flu. Name it, I got it. Good gawd, I never quite felt this bad physically... to think there was a brownout last night, which meant I couldn't use my nebulizer, which meant I couldn't sleep until electricity came back at four in the morning. Sigh... I'm underslept as Hades again, despite planning to wake up at twelve noon. It just didn't pan out that way, as my body decided to fully wake me up at eight in the morning, a total of under four hours of sleep.

The bad thing about having two jobs and masters classes is that there is very little opportunity for me to absent myself from all of them. I took a leave from WAVE until Monday, but I'm still attending my classes because Fr. Ferriols will have a long test in Metaphysics on Monday...

To top it all off, during my boardwork, I was silly enough to hit my eye with the headphones... it'd be a beeyatch to explain this if I get a black eye... oh, well.

.:Oh, Well:.

It was my brother’s 9th birthday yesterday, so we went out to Little Asia for dinner. The food was great. I love sizzling gambas…

.:Wow! Know Your Role!:.

A Wrestling RPG? Thank you, kind sirs. I am very pleased. Now, I just need to find enough people crazy enough to run this game… it seems really interesting…

.:The Temptation:.

I'm rather guilty of having these weird mood swings from time to time. I realize that I have the tendency to brood a lot when things aren't going right (Mutter... mutter... damned camera...) for me.

Despite this irrefutable fact, it cannot be denied that my moodiness is counterbalanced by my sheer persistence in all things I do. Otherwise, I'd simply have given up on life itself a long time ago. Nobody reputable enough promised life would be fair. Sooner or later, all of us have to deal with that fact.

There are times people can feel that they have all they could ever ask for in one moment then feel empty-handed the next. It's not really about being empty-handed: it's about making space in your life for something potentially better. On the other hand, there are times when people feel that everything they planned and mapped out for themselves just takes a backseat to chance, rendering all these plans and dreams pointless. In my experience, however meager it might be, these things are inevitable.

A good deal of Philosophy puts a high premium on the power of the human will, but this good deal likewise can acknowledge the finitude of the human person despite the infinitude of his being. It also is not readily refutable that a higher power, be it recognized as God or fate or destiny or karma, can and will take over our so-called “full control” of our lives from time to time.

It's a hard pill to swallow for existentialists and people who believe in the radical freedom of the human person, but we are never truly in complete control of our lives. There will always be things that are left to factors greater than any of us. These deviances from what we planned, for better or for worse, make life more interesting. For instance, when I started in college, the plan was simply to get into an advertising agency upon graduation. Now, it's pretty clear that such a possibility for me is highly unlikely, because chance has cast its die, and here I am now where I am.

I recognize all too well that I'm not in complete control of my life. Imperfect and incomplete a human being that I am, I thank God for that very fact.

.:A-s-a-w-a:.
Isang Tula ni Marcelle T. Fabie

Nag-iisa ako buong buhay ko, malungkot
Na tila isang bilanggo sa seldang maginaw
Subalit nang makilala kita, mundo ko'y sumigla
Nawala ang dalamhati, nawala ang pagkabagot
Nagbago ang buhay dahil sa nag-iisang ikaw
Buong pagkatao ko'y iyo, irog kong sinisinta
Mahabang prusisyon man, sa altar pa rin humantong
Pinkamamahal na Asawa, nagsumpaan sa Panginoon

Subalit 'di nagtagal, nagbago ang iyong ugali
Hindi ko maunawaan kung bakit nagkaganito
Nasasakal ako sa iyong brutal na “kalinga”
Sa iyo umikot ang mundo ko, ako'y natali
Buong sweldo ko'y sinimot mo sa iyong bilmoko
Mas mabigat ka pa sa akin, mistulang balyena
Ano ang nangyari? Tila ako'y naumay at nabilaukan
Sawa na ako sa iyo, tiyaga na lang ang puhunan

Lumaon pa ang panahon at lumala lang ang lahat
Ang hirap mong tiisin at baka ako madaganan
Gusto ko man kumawala, hindi ko makuhang gawin
Kung bakit naman kasi ikaw pa ang minahal ng tapat
At kung bakit sampu na ang mga bata sa tahanan
Nakakapanlumo ang nakikita ko sa aking salamin
Namumuti ang buhok, nangungulubot ang noo
Awa na lamang ang dahilan at para sa iyo pa ri'y nandito

Ngunit maging tiyaga na walang nilaga, nauubos din
Ayoko na! Tama na! Malaking pagkakamali!
Kung ganito rin lang sana nanatili akong nag-iisa
Marami namang iba na tumitingin pa rin sa akin
Makisig pa rin ako, wala pa naman akong butong bali
Mga halik ko pa rin naman ay siguradong malasa
Subalit hindi ka nararapat na pag-aksayahan ng panahon
Wa na ako pakialam sa iyo, manigas ka ngayon

Sa wakas, masaya na rin ako muli matapos ang lahat
Muling natagpuan ang matagal nang nawawalang ngiti
Wala na akong pinagsisisihan, wala na akong problema
Walang saysay na mahalin ka ng tapat
Alta-presyon ko'y, awa ng Diyos, bumuti-buti
Subalit 'di ko inaasahan na sa dulo ako ri'y makakarma
Sablay na pag-ibig ng isang kaawa-awang romantiko
A... a... a... a... inaatake na ang puso ko

.:The Top Ten People I'm Most Grateful For This Year:.

Now that I think about it, I would likewise be rather grateful to Kim , if only for the numerous opportunities she gave me over the past year in Radio 1 that really helped me get into my groove. Lest I forget to thank her as an aside, I think I should reiterate that right now. :)

In any case, for today, I'm exceedingly grateful to...

8: Kathy Chua. I owe Kathy big time, if only for her teaching me how to fire-spin. I realize we've had a falling out of late, and I hope that I've somehow done my part to redeem myself. Regardless, I cannot deny that Kathy has really been a great teacher and an even greater friend. Truth be told, in between all the “2004's a free world” conversations and the discussions on the difference between revenge and punishment, Kathy's proven that her wide range of experiences has enabled her to empathize with various people all at the same time. I know of few people as perceptive as she can be.

In any case, Kathy is one of those people I have a high amount of r-e-s-p-e-c-t for. Well-travelled, witty, and multi-talented, I'm not surprised that she's still single, mainly because a person of her calibre is not only intimidating, but likewise won't settle for second best, to put it bluntly. In that regard, people cannot help but recognize how great a person she really is.

Thank you very much for this year, Kathy. You've taken this clumsy oaf and made a decent fire-spinner out of him. I owe you pizza and then some next time we meet. :)