Saturday, October 24, 2009

I Wanna Live My Life From A New Perspective

.:In Lieu Of A Post About Last Night's "Bound And Gagged"...:.

... I'd like to offer an introspective look at the one sore point of the entire night.

You see, that night, my cellphone got stolen.

Now, you've all heard this before: it's not the phone, it's the contacts, the memories, and everything that matters.

Considering that my phone is a cheap but trusty Nokia phone, that couldn't be any truer, to be sure. That phone was great mainly because it allowed me to store a lot of stuff, but not because it was a high-tech, high-end phone.

It's a bit appalling and disheartening that a thief would ply his trade in a charity fundraiser, but what can we do? These things happen, and sometimes, all you can do is to look at the bright side of things...

I'm an emotional packrat. I try my best to archive anything and everything. I keep count how many standup sets I've had, record practically all of them, make sure that everything is accounted for. I blog autobiographically because I believe that if I don't, a simple human being such as myself would pass on, leave this world, without a trace.

But it's not just about my legacy. That's not the thing I'm concerned about, really, in being an emotional packrat. It's how I deal with arguably my greatest fear, to be honest...

... I'm afraid of Alzheimer's.

I'm afraid that at some point in my life, I would end up forgetting everything. I would lose myself and no longer know who I even am. I would look in the mirror and wonder who I'm looking at, what he did in his life, what his triumphs were, what his failures were.

I blog because I want to still know who I am when my mind can no longer allow me to remember. That someone would tell me, "Marcelle, this is your blog. This is a reflection of who you are."

And yet, no matter how thoroughly I blog, no matter what I do, it would never be more than just a Cliff Notes version of my life. Who I am and what I stand for can never quite be encapsulated by my blog alone. I am more than the sum of my parts.

Which leads me to my phone. Truth be told, it's difficult to restore all the contacts I lost, all the memories I lost, and perhaps most of all, the ideas I had for my standup comedy. I kept a lot of my undeveloped jokes there, meaning to just sit down and develop them with other comedians when the opportunity presents itself.

With Laffapalooza coming up, I was really hoping to do that. I didn't want to come to the contest bereft of good ideas. With what happened, though, I guess I'm genuinely worried about coming up with something new for it by then.

.:Stop There And Let Me Correct It..:.

... I wanna live my life from a new perspective.

Despite all those rather disheartening losses, I know that not only will I survive, but as much as that cellphone did represent a hefty chunk of my life, it not only fails to represent the entirety of who I am and how I think, but it also has managed to represent a side of me that perhaps, I am better off no longer seeing.

It's a forced spring cleaning, so to speak. Longstanding grudges, arguments, reminders of ill feelings, were actually kept in that phone. If I had a very vicious argument with someone via SMS, you can be sure it was going to be there. I kept mementoes of people I should learn to let go of and not bother anymore, for one reason or another.

Yes, I'm an emotional packrat, but maybe I should learn to let go of memories that actually do me no good. Maybe it's high time I allowed the whims of the universe to unpack my baggage for me when it sees fit, although perhaps I should mitigate its effects more next time (Actually, except for the standup ideas, I sorta did. At least 60% of my contacts are on Excel somewhere.).

I'm afraid of losing sense of who I am when my time comes. I'm afraid to forget, I'm afraid to no longer be the only sole reliable witness to my life at this point.

However, I'm far more afraid of witnessing the wrong things, of dwelling on what went wrong rather than what I did right.

"Bound and Gagged" was an excellent show for the ages. I can safely say that it was something that served a worthwhile cause, and something everyone present will remember for a long time to come.

I may have lost a cellular phone, but I gained so much more. I gained a profound appreciation for the people who watched the show (And didn't steal anything... heh.), and I cannot thank enough the performers: Carl Quion (His opening act really energized everyone), Giniling Festival (They were a taste of things to come.), Richie Fernandez (Who had the people rolling in the aisles), Wanlu (Whose puppets really were a sight to behold), Grin Department (Who went a wee bit too long, but really brought their A-game to a very appreciative/shocked audience), Mike Unson (Need I say more about one of the funniest human beings alive?), Ony Carcamo (Who had everyone eating out of the palm of his hand with his unbelievable set.), and of course, my partner, Jay Mata, who is the undisputed master of pain endurance, not only for his feat of walking on broken glass, but more so for putting up with me.

This show also made me very grateful to my sponsors: C2 (Drink of the night!), Jack n Jill Potato Chips (Yum!), Granny Goose Tortillos (Always a favorite of mine), E-Games (Those booth people rock!), Geiser Maclang (Been supporting us for two years now), Sheero Media (KelnJay.com wouldn't exist otherwise), and of course, Nuffnang Philippines (Who really made the show happen with their help). Normally, you thank them just for paying up, but I thank them for not just doing that, but for also being instrumental to helping out a very worthy cause, The Real Life Foundation. I lost a phone, but some people lost far more in Ondoy and Pepeng. It's the least we could do.

How can I even neglect to thank all the people who went in greater detail? From people who listened to the radio when I dropped in yesterday morning, to the walk-in people, to the media friends who covered the show from Hero, NBN, and TV5, to the bloggers, the friends, the family, the TSC magicians, the IMC people, the standup comedians, all of whom I may have failed to mention, we thank you for making the event a grand success.

Thank you, one and all, I'll blog about the actual event next time, but you know Kel and Jay will strike yet again sometime next year. You just know it.

If there is one thing I hope to never forget in time, it is my capacity to be grateful.

2 comments:

ALVIN™ said...

"If there is one thing I hope to never forget in time, it is my capacity to be grateful."

Very well said, Kel.

As far as your show goes, even if it disabled me to go home in Bulacan, it proved that it was something not worth missing, compared to Akon's concert or if they can call it that. What's even more inspiring in all of it is that it all goes to charity.

Bottom line, AYUS NA AYUS!

erasmusa said...

*hug*

and no, i won't forget that i still owe you for two tix. :)