Off To Boracay!

See you guys after this weekend, as I will be heading out tomorrow morning for Boracay for the office outing. Still, I'll be on air with Chiqui on the Rowdy Empire tonight, so do check us out from 9-12 midnight on WAVE 891 tonight.

I know, I know. Blogging has been really delinquent lately, but have you seen the stuff I've been putting up on the 8List? Wow. I'm on a rampage!

There's also my latest POC article on Manny Pacquiao and Nelson Mandela, by the way.

Life has been hectic lately, but I couldn't be more grateful.

The 10th Anniversary Retrospective: 2009

.:The 10th Anniversary Retrospective: 2009:.

One of the best shows I've ever been involved with.

2009. Just... just screw this year, really.

I mean there were great things, definitely. For example, this is when Bound And Gagged happened, and that also means I managed to stumble upon the happy crew of the Disenchanted Kingdom, which became my radio home for the next three years. I started working in Nuffnang in 2009, so that's a pretty awesome thing as well. This was also the year I started getting into standup comedy, and I still enjoy doing that to this very day. Can't say I could complain about any of those, even if Grin Department scared me out of a year's growth because of their antics. I also went to Ad Congress for the first time ever, and began writing for the Philippine Online Chronicles on this year.

But think about it. I mean, let's even set aside the personal tragedy that this was the year I lost My Beloved. 2009 was just. A. Horrible. Year.

First of all, this was the year Francis Magalona and Michael Jackson passed away. So did Cory Aquino (Quite a tragedy.), which led to us having Noynoy as president (An even greater tragedy.). Considering the fact that more than a few well-loved people also passed on in 2009? Well, wow.

Secondly, this was the year Ondoy happened. I mean, really. screw Ondoy. My mentor in high school, Ms. Edna Rivero, passed away around the time of Ondoy, and I never even knew until 2010.

So really? Screw this year. The good things that began in 2009 carried onwards to better years, and I'd rather think about those years than this dreck.

Still, if I had to pick one favorite entry from 2009, let's go with this one. 2009 marked the year that I won my first PBA trophy, after I hosted it in 2008. It was a crazy year for blogging, truth be told, especially since I coined the term "Patay-Gutom Bloggers" around this time, and unfortunately for other people, they popularized the term, and ended up receiving flak for it.

Man, this year was really the pits.

Project 52 (33/52): On Epalwatch (And Why It's A No-Win Situation Sometimes)

.:Project 52 (33/52): On Epalwatch (And Why It's A No-Win Situation Sometimes):.

Epal: a common practice among public officers, whether elected or appointed, to append their names to public works projects which were either funded or facilitated through their office. –Epalwatch

Case in point:

I spy yet another Magsaysay… sigh.

Instances like this are pretty clear-cut. In the midst of relief operations, their face is plastered all over the truck, as if to announce “Hey, you undeserving peon! Gaze upon your salvation that is I, Jobo Jobo. For I am Jobo Jobo! People call me Jobo Jobo! Gaze, I say. Gaaaaazzzzeee!” Then there are cases where people get even more blatant, like this:

Oh, screw you.

The definition from Epalwatch was very clear. It’s all about people who put their name and face to projects, goods, and services to claim credit, with the obvious intention of leveraging themselves for the next elections. Well before campaign period, you’d see faces on sardines, stickers, tarps, everything short of a big, honking billboard, in an attempt to grab your attention — and votes.

Whoops.

Epalwatch is a worthy cause. It keeps public servants on their toes and keeps them from willfully using their position of power to spend public funds in an effort to advertise themselves for re-election well before they even file their candidacy. It prevents other politicians from making a name for themselves at the expense of genuine public service.  I am also a writer for Blogwatch (the group behind Epalwatch), and I agree with the objectives of Epalwatch in principle.

However, in an attempt to stamp out this epal-ing phenomenon, overzealous advocates of the Epalwatch movement seem to have resorted to calling out anyone who is seen doing any kind of public service. This may do more harm than good, because even sincerely well-meaning politicians would fear having their name besmirched just because they want to help.

And yes, that includes the president: the very guy people frequently castigate for being lazy and doing nothing. Now, we’re criticizing him for doing something.

The man assured us of devastation.
Looks like he finally got something right.

PNoy can’t win. Not that I even like the guy, really. I don’t. But a mere four days before the unexpected monsoon flooding, a columnist was asking where Noynoy was. When PNoy declared that he likes keeping a low profile during tragedies so that he doesn’t look like he’s milking tragedy for political glad-handing, he was criticized for it relentlessly.

Booooo! Do something!

Yet, now that he makes an effort to actually go out there and do something, he catches flak for it, too. What do we really want?

Booooo! Stop doing something!

Meanwhile, Dick Gordon, a man who, in 2009, allegedly delayed distribution of relief goods during Ondoy so he could deliver a speech, got nearly universal praise for his efforts this time. The difference: as far as we know, he is not running for anything this time.

He also gets badass points for that ride.

There is no question Dick Gordon was doing an excellent job with rescue operations, and we know him to be the kind who is all business. He has very little room for glad-handing or waving around to people, even when he was running. But that’s Dick Gordon. Not everyone else can be as to-the-point as he is and get away with it. I would give nearly everything just to have Dick Gordon as a Comelec Commissioner. Any excuse to call him “Commissioner Gordon” would be awesome.

In contrast, PNoy and the other people who went with him were slammed non-stop for doing essentially the same thing Gordon was doing: helping out. Unlike Lanete Sardines or Jobo Rice, there were no stickers or paraphernalia in the goods PNoy and company distributed. Furthermore, surely you can’t expect them to go out there and wear luchador masks to remain anonymous, or be surly as they go about their business, nor can you expect people to not take pictures of them as they go about their business. And even if they did, you can bet they’d have been criticized for it, too.

Because these people are who they are, they simply can’t help anonymously, unless they are notphysically there to help. By now, we know that isn’t enough, since that was exactly how PNoy claims to have been conducting himself earlier on. In fact, with all the emphasis on PNoy’s supposed photo-mongering, why did nobody take notice of this picture?

Mar Roxas, photobombing only like Mar Roxas can.

That sure doesn’t look like grandstanding to me at all, and has got to be one of the most un-glamorous shots of the president I’ve ever seen. Despite that, people ignored this photo in favor of others that gave them the opportunity to weave a more lurid narrative about our president. While that may be their right, they should at least ask themselves, is this fair?

There are so many valid things to criticize PNoy about. I’m pretty sure I’ve blogged my fair share of criticism against him, too. However, his actions during this flood would not be one of those things.

Let’s go back to Epalwatch’s own definition of what it means to be an “epal.” When did PNoy or any of his group “append their names to public works projects which were either funded or facilitated through their office?” The definition did not cover the actions of PNoy and company! Was there a single sardine can there with Risa Hontiveros’s mug plastered on it? Were they distributing “Ruffy Rice” while Ruffy Biazon was reminding people to not forget him in 2013? Or was it simply a case of overzealous people trying to find political drama in the middle of tragedy, instead of simply accepting the service rendered by PNoy and company at face value for now?

Really now. What was the alternative for these people? What could they have possibly done that would have resulted in people saying that they were really just trying to help? We all know that if Dick Gordon mentioned something about running for public office again, there would have been a bunch of people attacking him for helping out, too. Do we seriously want to put political service in such a quandary?

Maybe they really were angling themselves politically. I don’t know; I’m just a mentalist, not a psychic. That doesn’t take away from the fact that they were helping people, and only instretching Epalwatch’s own definition beyond what it actually states can tongues even begin wagging, which implies one of two things:

1. Either Epalwatch made a mistake in defining what it means to be “epal,” or
2. The response to PNoy and company was simply a cynical, knee-jerk reaction to politicians in general, no matter what they do.

Or both. Probably both. It seems that as netizens, we shoot first, ask questions later. Cops get the same kind of bad press, and yet here they are, still reminding us why a lot of them still have jobs.

Cops are generally nicer to pedestrians than motorists, though.

Am I saying Epalwatch should stop doing what they do? Of course not. I won’t even tell them to tone their zeal down, for that matter. That’s their call, and I myself would be quick to share something to their cause if and when I see politicians clearly crossing the line. All I hope is that just as willing as they are to criticize public officials who grandstand, they would also be willing to accept criticism when they jump the gun. I’d give the same advice to even the sincerest of politicians: don’t stop doing what you’re doing to help, no matter how much Epalwatch may question your motives. The hope is that as both sides push and pull and argue over what it means to be epal, people in general become more critical-minded and don’t just jump the gun and assume the worst in politicians when they try to do something.

There will be time for finger-pointing afterwards. I just don’t think we needed much of that in the middle of the tragedy itself.I think Dick Gordon himself said it best, actually:

Dick Gordon as the voice of reason? Now I’ve seen everything.

Oh, by the way. Has anyone heard a peep about what Vice President Binay was doing during the monsoon? Because I didn’t, and I normally get five text messages at a time whenever he does something for this country.

I’m just sayin’.

If you wish to be more than just a Patriotic Filipino® and actually help out in the Filipino’s time of need, you can go here for a handy list.

Been A While, So It's Good To Be Back On The POC...

.:About Bloody Time!:.

Been doing a bit of soul searching for a while, but I finally managed to find the time to come up with this article... God To Believe In Magic!

Yep, I decided to go back to doing a satire about religious freedom, but at some point, I'll probably talk about it again straight-up, albeit not in Project 52, seeing as how I recently did that already.

.:In Other News:.

So much work to do, but I'm happy things are slowly falling into place for me in that department. I'm slowly recovering from the recent mishap I've encountered, and doing everything I can to not do a Taylor Swift and just give 'em the what for.

But yeah, I'm angry. I really am. I think I'm beginning to understand more how Denise felt in general a few months ago, because I feel like I'm going through nearly the exact same thing.

Well, maybe not exactly, but close enough. Here we go again with this passive-aggressive cryptic codswallop. Unfortunately, I can't really help it. I know I'm not supposed to feel this way, but knowing it and not actually feeling it are two radically different things.

So yeah. I can't write an unsent letter right now, but I really feel annoyed. I feel like I've been given the runaround, but ultimately, I'm at a point in my life where I no longer have any intention of sitting and smiling and just taking all of that again and again.

I'm tired already. I think I've been tired for the past three years, and I've only really come to terms with how tired I have been just now.

Let's take it one step at a time, then.

Just Another Magic Monday: "It's True! It's True!" Wins In The Philippine Blog Awards 2011!

.:And I Am Still Dumbstruck...:.

                                                                                    otakufridge.com

Ang hair ko, umabot hanggang dooooon sa haba!

Yes, this is hardly related to magic, but the moment was, for lack of a better word, magical. Last Saturday night, I was tasked to do voice over duties for the Philippine Blog Awards, as hosted by Ms. Gang Badoy herself. It was pretty amusing when I was asked, because while I graciously accepted the invitation to do so, I jokingly asked Juned if this was his hint that I had no chance of winning that night for either nomination. Juned just smiled and said he's not allowed to comment on stuff like that.

What was very different about this year's program was the fact that there were actually acceptance speeches this time around, which Arbet reminded me about while going over the program. I just casually noted that being the VO guy for the evening meant I wasn't going to win, shrugged, and moved on.

The evening was great, seeing as I met awesome people like the aforementioned Gang Badoy and the Christopher Lao! He seemed a lot shorter than I thought he would, and oddly enough, without his glasses on, he reminded me of Mr. Fu. Nonetheless, it was fun running into him, and to be referred to as the "voice of God" by Gang throughout the evening.

Pretty soon, they got to the part of the awarding ceremonies where my blog was nominated in two different categories. When I didn't win the Personal Category, I kinda assumed that was the end of it already, since that was the one I've been gunning for since 2009, I believe (I was off the grid in 2007 and was the host in 2008, after all.).

Next thing I knew, I was announced as the winner for the best blog in the Society, History, and Politics category.

                                                                                    otakufridge.com

This is how you feel so big and so small at the same time.

I haphazardly went onstage, still shocked (Hades, I still am to this very moment!), joked about loving all 20 of my loyal readers, joked about the fact that I was the disembodied voice throughout the evening, then quietly shuffled to backstage immediately afterwards. Yep, I pretty much didn't have an acceptance speech at all, but that's okay. This is my blog, so I get to do that here.

First of all, I'd like to thank the judges of the Philippine Blog Awards for the recognition of this blog. I've been blogging since 2002, so winning something like this, without a doubt, is truly a great honor for me. I still cannot contain my joy over this great recognition, and it never gets old. I've won best Philippine Blog in the Flying Chair Asian Blog Awards in 2003, then won one of the top 10 best blog posts in the Philippine Blog Awards in 2009, and yet, this honor couldn't have come at a better time, for me.

I am very honored that despite splitting my writing between this blog, The POC, Filipino Freethinkers, and, for a while, Filipino Voices, my blog still managed to strike a chord with the people who have read it in ways that I didn't quite expect. I've always been an autobiographical blogger, so it comes a bit surprising to me that my life has taken a turn towards the societal, historical, or political aspects of this nation. Sure, I do political satire here and there even in my blog, but I realized that with no active desire to stay relevant via my blog, my life itself has given me the opportunity to do and say something relevant that I can only hope brings, aside from the lulz, some measure of knowledge or dare I say enlightenment, no matter how unenlightened my position may or may not get.

To the people who do read this, know that I can only be grateful that you like what you see. I really can't please everyone, so I only ever write for my own sake, because I'm pretty much the only person I have any business representing in an official capacity, even if I do try my best to put forth a great picture of the Philippine Magic Industry in my blog every now and then.

I guess what I hope people take away from my blog is that I am a multi-faceted person with something to say. Whether or not you agree or even find what I have to say interesting, at the very least, I hope you can see where I am coming from and how I have come to form the opinions or even convictions I hold onto.

I have no illusions that this win would bring me to the upper echelon of recognized bloggers whose every word people wait on with bated breath. I have no illusions that my writing will directly engender changes in this nation, unless I myself take a direct, pro-active stand offline as well. I have no illusions that my writing would magically become more prolific and more enticing for consumption for the general public. Hades, I'm even shy about showing my own mother my own blog, despite the fact that I don't really write anything embarrassing about myself here.

What I do know, though, is that I will keep writing because I have something to say. I have always believed that is the first reason someone would want to blog, and that is reason enough for me to keep on doing what I have been doing for the past nine years in my own little corner in the web, ever since I realized I can't read my old diaries anymore because of my atrocious handwriting.

I'd like to thank Cracked because their sense of humor has influenced my writing immensely, and hopefully for the better. I'd like to thank the POC and the Freethinkers for having faith (I use that word very loosely, Freethinkers!) in my writing as well. Of course, I'd also like to thank everyone who has touched my life and been a part of this blog, really. It's hard to name all of you, but you know who you are. Obviously, without you, there'd have been at least one less entry for me to write, and as an archivist by nature, that would've been a travesty.

And the only thing I regret not having said onstage would be... I'd like to dedicate this win to someone who was, without a doubt, someone who did effect change in society, whether within the blogosphere or through his personal advocacies. Thank you, AJ Matela. I miss you, and I think that it is fitting for me to dedicate this honor to you, because you have, in your own way, sparked a revolution of minds and hearts, in life and in death.

Thank you, one and all, and I hope that my life continues to intersect with what is relevant and important to this nation, even if what I personally have to say about it doesn't always live up to the same standard.

                                                                                                                                             azraelcoladilla.com

Congratulations, one and all!

Randomicity Upon Mine Head

.:Fabucelles Is Back:.

I don't know about you, but it's always entertaining to read Fabucelles do his take on show business. It's pretty amazing how much hoopla there has been over the KC Concepcion-Piolo Pascual breakup, considering how little talk there has been about "Oplan Put The Little Girl To Sleep" in contrast.

That being said, even Fabucelles, in a heavy showbiz article, took the time out to sidetrack into that a bit as well. It's a really interesting picture, really, because all snark aside, there really is no need to put all this undue attention upon them. Their relationship, real or reel as it may be, is over. Just like many relationships out there, really.

I guess it's just so much easier for us to look at a car crash than to look away, huh?

.:Thank You, Philippine Blog Awards!:.

Do I expect a win? No, not really, what with the competition I have lined up against me.

Nonetheless, thanks to the Philippine Blog Awards for naming me as a finalist for "Best Personal Blog" and "Best Society, History, and Politics Blog."

The latter nominee has certainly surprised me, seeing how most of my political or society writings are either on The POC or Filipino Freethinkers.

Thank you, thank you, and I hope to continue writing in this humble blog of mine, especially come 2012, when I celebrate a decade of blogging (I plan to do something huuuuge for this!)!

I Know I've Been So Quiet Lately...

.:I Know I've Been So Quiet Lately...:.

... but I guess that comes with the territory of being busy, busy, busy.

Last night, I had a last-minute magic show for an aunt of the awesome Andrada sisters. I was just as surprised as the people I performed for that I was there, but we made something pretty memorable out of it.

Tonight, I'm hosting and performing for Mike Unson's "Comedy Mayhem" in Capone's. It's absolutely free, and absolutely awesome. Mike will also be performing in Conspiracy Garden, Visayas Avenue, Quezon City, on Saturday night.

On Saturday, I am doing hosting duties for Alodia's Fantasy, which should be a pretty highly anticipated event. People who wanna catch it can go to that hyperlink and watch the show for themselves at the very comfort of their own homes, from 8 to 10 PM.

It's been quite a blur with Pancakes as of late, but I couldn't think of any reason I'd ever want to trade all of this in for the world. Guess I'm a lucky man, after all.

Next week, there's even more insanity lined up for me, since I'm going to be performing on October 29 in Subic Lighthouse Marina, then Nickelodeon's Halloween show on October 31 in Mall Of Asia. All I can say is, wow. The hits do keep on coming, so after over two years of bad hits, I'm happy to note that the good hits are now on a roll.

But for now, I'm officially putting into the backburner my intentions of writing a satire about satire, and I'm in no rush to write about the Batangas sign by Vilma Santos for Taal Volcano. It's pretty memetic, though, and I was amused to have been part of the initial volume of people to notice it. Nonetheless, for the POC, I did write an article about that silly dragons article.

Universe, please keep this up.

Housekeeping

.:Back On The POC!:.

So, after a brief interval, I'm back with a couple of new articles on The POC.

First, I wished "Get Well Soon!" to GMA.

Then, I played an old childhood game: One Of These Is Not Like The Other. I'm sure Jacque Bermejo, Christopher Lao, and Migz Zubiri would all be proud.

As I go along and do more and more of this stuff, I realize that I want to be known as a multi-faceted person, given how I'm in radio, magic, comedy, mentalism, political commentary, philosophy, and showbiz commentary, among other things. It's something I've been cultivating for years because being one-dimensional is just too bland for my tastes.

.:Speaking Of Comedy...:.

I won't be there tonight most likely, but the Comedy Cartel will be having its regular open mic comedy show in Tomato Kick Katipunan at 10PM. It's a free show, so there's no reason to miss it if you're in the area.

This coming Saturday, Mike Unson and yours truly will be hitting the stage of Capone's in Makati's A Venue at 10PM to deliver nothing but the best comedy you can shake a stick at. And yup, it's free, too!

And of course, on August 24, Rex freaking Navarette will be in town, and you can catch his show in Resorts World! Mike Unson will also be opening for the man.

August 26, you'll see us again at Capone's!

Then on August 27, you have this...

A blast, no doubt.

This will be my first time performing in Grillery, so I'm pretty excited about it. Things are cooking, and it's going to be one hellaciously awesome ride.

Finally, A Return To POC, Plus How Vicki Belo Made My Day

.:My Non-Satirical Thoughts On The Sara Duterte Issue:.

While Fabucelles beat me by a week or so to writing something new for The POC, it didn't take long before I figured out a good angle to discuss the unfortunate Davao incident where Davao Mayor Sara Duterte ended up repeatedly punching a sheriff because he wouldn't grant a two-hour reprieve before the demolition.

All I can think is, if the objective was to prevent violence by using violence, then somebody obviously forgot to think about that too well.

I actually am a fan of the Duterte's, when it comes to turning Davao into the city it is today. Consider the fact that Davao is arguably more technologically advanced and much cleaner than Manila is, and it's easy to see why I have the highest regard for their governance in Davao. I've been there once, and I was impressed by what I saw.

That doesn't make the punch okay.

No, really. It doesn't.

Let's run through a quick list of similar situations where we (Or at least, like-minded people as "we") were pretty quick to condemn: Nasser Pangandaman. Willie Revillame. Even Manny Pacquiao.

On the surface, it would seem that the biggest difference would be that among all these issues, only the one with Sara Duterte involved a woman. Sure, Lourd De Veyra used an inevitably sexist trope by using the whole TNL bit, but for all of Lourd's intellect, I seriously don't think PC was in the list of his considerations when he made his point. It isn't an excuse. It's just to point out that it isn't unexpected at all.

That the TNL phenomenon has opened itself to a wide variety of interpretations whether literal or satirical is testament to its influential capacities and the fact that it has grown beyond the mere intentions of its originators. In fact, I would go so far as to say that two very divergent interpretations of Lourd's article - that it was, on one hand, ridiculing the violence inflicted by Sara Duterte; or, on the other hand that it actually glorifies it and is preferable to flat out inaction from our officials. I have seen both sides argued capably by people who have read De Veyra's piece, and even if Lourd would unequivocally state his intent one way or the other, perception is reality in this case.

Which, in turn, leads me to be nonplussed when people more intelligent than I cry "sexism". Not that it isn't a valid interpretation, or that I must dismiss their feelings on the matter (And why would I, being a feminist ally myself?), but two things should be obvious from reading Lourd's article, and being familiar with his body of work:

1. Lourd De Veyra was never the paragon of political correctness. Feel free to get angry, or even challenge him over that fact, but to act surprised that he had to use the TNL trope, a trope he had a hand in, to begin with, is like being shocked that The Rock can't go through a match without doing a Rock Bottom or a People's Elbow.

2. Contrary to the hypothesis of Sparks, people did not come down on Sara Duterte more because she was a woman. If anything, people came down on her less, with most people I know, myself included, initially musing how "cool" it was for the lady mayor to show that bad ol' sheriff who's boss, before they realized that a punch to solve a violent situation is a self-defeating endeavor.

It doesn't even go into the realm of intent, or gender-blindness, because it's fairly obvious that if it were Rody Duterte who did the punching, the same people in our immediate circles would have criticized the elder Duterte as well. The only sexism at work could have been a case of giving Sara Duterte more slack for the incident because she's female, rather than immediately calling for her head on a platter.

Sexism is secondary to abuse of authority. Was Lourd being sexist? Well, if Sparks believes he was, intent is beside the point, as it is her right to take offense if she feels that calling Sara Duterte "Tunay Na Lalake" is being sexist. But to say everyone should see it as such? It doesn't follow. What I saw all throughout was a humorous approach to ridicule the usage of violence, and that by invoking the TNL culture, Lourd merely framed it within his character, which has always been equal-opportunity when it comes to doling out TNL labels. This is not the first time the TNL label has been attached to a woman. Jamby Madrigal would know.

Ultimately, Sparks and I are in agreement that Mayor Duterte must face the consequences for her actions, albeit anyone knows that she will, at most, receive a slap on the wrist for this incident. What I am wary of, though, is to dismiss most of the critique against Sara Duterte as merely a case of sexism.

And before anyone tries to use the fact that Erap punched an anti-demolition demonstrator himself, the fact that he was defending himself certainly shows how Mayor Duterte's specific set of circumstances are unprecedented, due to two things: first, she was doing this directly for the benefit of her constituents. Second, she did this without first resorting to diplomacy, as she came in with fists at the ready. If Erap attacked without provocation, you can be sure there would've been a witch hunt for him that would have far eclipsed any criticism Mayor Duterte faced. Yeah, I said it: Mayor Duterte actually got off easy, and I will not be coy about it and outright say that her gender was a factor, in the public eye. Even legally, she probably will get off easy, too.

The fear is, if we just let Sara Duterte slide, given these specific circumstances, any other politician can easily cite her case as precedent when they resort to violence "for the sake of their constituents."

We can say all we want that won't happen, but when blatantly wrong things already get a pass just because of hero worship (Unless Big Time Willie is totally nothing like Willing Willie. Yeah, right), then it's very reasonable to assume something slightly in a gray area would easily be allowed to pass.

We can't enforce double standards. Making exceptions to legal matters despite clear applicability would make it awkward for future offenders to not get the same treatment, completely undermining the point of the law.

After all, when nobody seems to have a problem with this...

She spins you right round, baby right round.

How does it become okay for Mayor Abalos to specifically remove these?

So only guys are allowed eye candy now?

I mean, let's face it: what's good for the goose ought to be good for the gander. And in Sara's case, if it was good for the gander and we let her slide, it will end up being good for the goose when that bridge gets crossed. It's all about consistency.

.:Speaking Of Vicki Belo...:.

Oh, the possibilities!

The other day, Vicki Belo ran an impromptu contest to name her new lady-parts tightening machine, and the responses were creative and uproarious!

Whether it was called PussyKip, SiKeps, Vagi-Tite, Vag-Neto, VaJaylBreak, Happy Tite, Pwede Na Ulit Si Lola, or whatever else, there was a ton of lulz to be had for the entire duration of the "contest", which she suddenly validated by giving out a prize of 5,000 in Belo products to the top three winners, albeit you had to follow the Belo Beauty Twitter account as well as like their Facebook fanpage.

At the end of the promo, the good doctor named the three winners: Vagnet, V-Tight, and LAV, for L(ike) A V(irgin). Congratulations to the winners! Heh.

I never thought I'd see the day, but Vicki Belo totally made my day. This was entertaining, tongue-in-cheek, and creative!

Fabucelles Returns!

.:Fabucelles Is Back!!!:.

The POC has Fabucelles writing a scathing new one for them, covering the whole Jerzon Senador hoopla, essentially pointing out how for more than just a few people, they're so gung-ho about animal rights, yet they're so quick to ignore gay rights while they go into a sanctimonious, self-aggrandizing speech to lambast Jerzon Senador for his obvious travesty, while subjecting him to homophobic speech when gay people had nothing to do with this whole mess anyways...

This frustrates me greatly, because it was unnecessary and uncalled for. I'd be the last person to make excuses for Jerzon's actions, but why are we using "gay" as an insult against him? No, it's not okay. It isn't okay at all to make a sick joke of someone's being, and turn it into a tired punchline. Condemn his actions all you want, but dammit, lay off the homophobia and assorted hate speech.

I'm just dismayed this keeps on happening,to be honest. Every single time, when someone does something wrong, it's so easy for us to just dogpile on the poor guy to the point where the punishment no longer even fits the crime, and we become every bit as inhuman as the person we loathe, completely defeating the purpose of rebuking him for his lack of moral fiber by having none to show for ourselves.

And the ultimate irony of ironies? Few people even realize this when they do it. When we lambasted Boyet Fajardo for power-tripping over someone who did something wrong to him, did we stop to think why what he did was wrong? Remember this?

Well, we are turning into a nation of Boyet Fajardo's. It's so hard for us to show compassion or even restraint in the face of an apology, and in our so-called righteous fury, we hurt people who had nothing to do with the problem along the way. Really? A few days past Rizal's 150th birth anniversary, this is how we show what it means to be a Filipino? To put on an internet tough guy attitude, and then to resort to homophobic slurs to insult someone whose grievous mistake had nothing to do with his sexuality?

How enlightened of all of us! How easy it is to throw stones, without even aiming squarely for our target, and even getting angry when other people who had nothing to do with this issue feel gravely offended! How many of you got annoyed when gays started complaining about being targeted by your hate speech for no apparent reason? How dare these people, with, you know, human rights, get in the way of our armchair crusade for animal rights?!?

Listen. If you wanna be a slacktivist and throw stones on the internet against an animal abuser, make sure you're throwing stones against the animal abuser, and not against the entire LGBT community. They had nothing to do with this, so the least you could do is to leave them the fuck alone.

What A Week, What A Week...

.:Historical?:.

Last Tuesday night, King DJ Logan went up onstage in Tomato Kick and performed his first ever standup comedy set. I'd have uploaded the video I took of it, but under pain of death, Mr. KDL has given me a very compelling reason not to.

Having said that, Tuesday night was really awesome, what with all the people who were there watching the show, as well as all the new blood that night brought together. I think that was officially the most number of open mic'ers I've ever met in one night, not including the Comedy Cartel vets themselves.

That really just rocks, y'all!

.:Quite A Rut...:.

Been trying to find inspiration to write for the POC in recent days, but other than the RH Bill and Noynoy Aquino and the still-stagnant Maguindanao Massacre trial, is there anything actually worth writing about in the world of politics at this point? These topics have been covered ad nauseam, and anything I could say would probably just be a retread of some other's pundit, even in the realm of satire or plain snark.

I'm trying to recharge my batteries for now, and I hope that something in the world of politics turns up that doesn't retread these rather tired topics at this point. I might sooner find it in me to write a showbiz article than a political one at this point, what with all this news about Mo Twister and Rhian Ramos, among other things.

.:My Good Deed For A Day...:.

Tried to surprise a friend by dropping by her office with half a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts. Sometimes, I suppose it would be great just to spread some happiness all around...

Here's hoping she actually likes donuts, though. Heh.

.:Ready For The Rapture?:.

With all the rapture and end-of-the-world jokes running around thanks to Harold Camping, I suppose it's rather amusing to think how many people could possibly get laid for the first time ever just for believing this kind of tripe, particularly coming from a guy who got it wrong seventeen years ago.

See, it doesn't really matter if you believe in God or not. The end of the world for anyone comes at the moment that they die. That's the end of your world, while the rest of the world goes on. It's a bit of a buzzkill that you won't be forming a Tribulation Force or something by Sunday, but let's face it: May 21 would likely find more free comic books given out than people mysteriously disappearing as man and God meet each other halfway across the sky.

Why fret over the end of the world when you could do something to help prevent someone's world from ending? I think that if you were to do good for someone on May 21, Rapture or no Rapture, you wouldn't really have anything to regret by doing the right thing when the next day comes.

And then you do it the day after that. And after.

By the end of it, you've done your part to make your world that much of a better place. And you can be pretty much sure that by the time your world ends, people won't be happy to see you go, but will live on through you by your example.

I guess I know how I'm going to spend my time on this (hypothetically) last day of Earth, then. Suddenly, getting laid doesn't seem like such a top priority. Although I'm sure it wouldn't hurt if that was the only Second Coming to be had tomorrow...

That being said, here's a question for the commenters: what song would you sing at the end of the world?

Me? I'm totally Rickrolling everyone 'til oblivion, like a sick version of Nero watching Rome burn. With Rick Astley blaring from his fiddle.

Still Alive, But I'm Barely Breathing...

.:Establishing Comedy:.

Great show brought on by the Comedy Cartel last night in Establishment, as Noel Gascon, Richie Fernandez, Marlon Olivan, GB Labrador, and the Tim Tayag came out full-force in The Fort to bring on the laughs to an audience that couldn’t have been more appreciative and awkward if they tried.

I went to catch them on their maiden voyage in the venue, and boy, did they deliver that night. Tim’s riffing and new material really worked splendidly, and Marlon making Angelo Reyes jokes (Too soon! Too soon!) definitely brought about an interesting night, and the remaining comedians did a solid job, as always.

With the Cartel coming back next Tuesday for more fun, the Establishment is indeed the place to be on Tuesday nights. Best thing about it? Entrance is absolutely free!

.:The POC Yet Again!:.

In light of yesterday’s unfortunate passing, I ended up covering a very volatile subject: Let Tweeting Dogs Die. I don’t really want to talk about the topic anymore today, so I would much rather just let the article stand for my sentiments and my thoughts on the matter.

It may be satire, but the true message is anything but a joke.

Randomicity At Three In The Morning...

.:A Storm Of Commentary:.

I’ve been having some moments of inspiration while writing for The POC lately, so I managed to cover Noynoy’s new Porsche as well as the Big Bad Blogger.

On the showbiz front, my good friend, Fabucelles, came up with an inimitable take on the disbanding of Bamboo and the departure of Ebe from Sugarfree. Pretty interesting stuff, and I’m at a point where more and more, I do want to take some of my commentary onscreen because I know I can pull it off.

Post-Wednesday Quick Bites

.:Loaded Wednesday:.

A night of radio hilarity, followed by good standup comedy performed for audiences expecting to have a great time. Not bad, if I do say so myself.

Hanging out with the Disenchanted Kingdom and trading barbs with them has become quite the pastime, to say the least. It’s even more amusing to know that Alodia was listening yet again, and they actually asked me on the air why I’m not trying to hit on her, and I had to go all showbiz on them just to dodge that pretty awkward question. Heh.

‘Sides, someone else was listening, and I didn’t need to stress her out over it... heh.

On top of that, I'm extremely grateful to Anna because she gave me a nice post-Christmas present...

Overall, there were a lot of laughs to be had, and when coupled with the awesome standup comedy night we had where I tried some of my new material to some measure of success, I must say I’m pretty happy that Wednesdays have been my refuge from the insanity and hurly-burly of the work week. It’s been great, no question about it.

Y’know, it actually feels nice to be able to do these super-short but autobiographical blogposts every now and then. It only means there isn’t much stressing me, and I’m just taking bits and pieces of time to write what’s up with me.

.:Another Article On The POC!:.

This time, I cover show business, as I write: What Is Essential Is Invisible To The Ai. Hope you jabronis like it!

DK Hilarity And POC Madness

.:Disenchanted Hilarity:.

Monday night, I swung by the DK for the first time in 2011, and it ended up being quite a laugh trip, as they touched on the whole 12/12/12 bit, and then things took an interesting turn when I mentioned that I’m not so keen on looking because I recently met someone, and our timeline doesn’t look too favourable to 12/12/12.

2010-2011 Transition Roundup

.:Back On The Poc!:.

It’s missing one particular visual gag, but my latest article is up on the POC now. Pretty fun stuff, if I do say so myself.

.:The New Year Roundup:.

That’s how you spend New Year’s Eve Eve. Yep. Eve Eve. Not a typo.

Before The End Of The Weekend... Heh.

.:I’m Amused:.

I had a brush with celebrity last Friday. Check this out. Heh.

So apparently, they aired one of my guest bits on the Front Act Show with Mike and Stanley, and you’ll see what happened around 1:45 on this clip...

Apparently, my skill with the ladies needs a lot of work. Heh.

It’s good to know that great things have been happening lately, though, as I’ve had an amazing show with Mike, Stan, and Uli last night in Grub, and of course, there are a lot more things that we can look forward to in the coming days as the machinery starts roaring back into full steam ahead. It’s going to be an awesome time, to say the least.

.:The POC On The Rise:.

My latest article was published on The POC recently, and it’s called “Beating Around The Odds.” I hope you like it, and you should check out what’s going on in the Sosyal channel as well, as my good friend Fabucelles continues writing about soap opera stars in the way only he can.

The End Of Many An Era...

.:More Bits From The POC!:.

I managed to have an article published again for Blogwatch, and this time, it’s all about sex education. The RH Bill brouhaha is still far from over.

Meantime, my good friend, Fabucelles, is starting a new series aside from his/her regular “Eh Ano Ngayon” bits. He/she’s tackling our soap opera stars, and the opening salvo is all about Kim Chiu. This ought to be good.

.:The End Of Many An Era...:.

The past couple of weeks, we have seen a lot of things come to a halt after years of having grown accustomed to them. It’s been weird seeing how these things just disappear right before our very eyes, but what can I say? I guess some things just can’t last for as long as we want them to.

Requiem In Pace

The past couple of weeks saw the demise of two great personalities in the entertainment industry: Gary Coleman and Dennis Hopper. I was never a huge fan of either, but I sure would miss both of them, especially Christopher Walken and his sheer insanity with whatever character he decides to portray. Gary Coleman’s passing was most unfortunate, though, as it seemed to be a result of an unfortunate accident that could’ve been prevented.

2009 was really marred by tragedies, so let’s hope that 2010 doesn’t follow suit, although after Francis M and Michael Jackson and Ondoy, it’s hard to think of a string of tragedies to top that. Personally, I hope to never have to find out what it takes to top that.

So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish

Recently, Mag:Net Bonifacio High Street has closed shop once and for all as well. This shocking turn of events has left a lot of Rockeoke and SPIT fans suddenly homeless and nothing to do on Mondays and Thursday nights. True, the Comedy Cartel still exists to perform on Mondays and Thursdays, but while Monday night in Spicy Fingers is okay for the people in the Fort area, the insurmountable trip on Thursdays to Votre may prove to be too much of a problem.

I was there during the last SPIT show with MarkPoa, Addy, and Wilson, so it was a pretty fun night. We even ran into Christian Silva, although he was with his other friends, and of course, SPIT was extra hyped that night. It wasn’t the last show for them by any means, as they still perform in Katipunan, but there was something about that night that simply made SPIT even more fun than it normally is, and I still cannot fathom how good these improve comedians really are.

I didn’t stay on for the Rockeoke swan song though, as I didn’t have anyone else with me by then. It didn’t seem wise to Rockeoke on your own, as that’s a pretty depressing thing to do.

The Schism

Standup comedy in the Philippines as I know it has forever been changed. I don’t really know if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but I guess we’ll just have to see in the coming months.

Last Friday’s show featuring Jon Santos and Tim Tayag was definitely a hilarious night, and with all the talks about big things coming up for the Comedy Cartel soon, everyone’s definitely excited about what could very well be an explosion for Pinoy standup comedy. Whether this is an explosion of the good or bad kind unfortunately remains to be seen.

For now, this situation bears watching.

Quiet Weekend...

.:Posting More Tomorrow, But For Now...:.

My latest article for the POC.

This has been a quiet weekend, although I don’t think I’ve ever been depressed in my life. It’s like this pervasive cloud I can’t shake off of me...

Not Much Happened Today, But...

.:Where Do They Go From Here?:.

My new article is up here! I hope you like the look I'm taking on our Presidentiables after everything's been said and done. Maybe next week, I'll do one for the Vice Presidentiables.

.:Fabucelles Is Back!:.

More stuff from the inimitable Fabucelles. Showbiz and politics hopefully won't keep mixing for much longer.

.:I Have A New Phone!:.

Wheeeee!!!