Tuesday, December 23, 2003

And so for the benefit of one of the persons who passed through this page who just so happened to not be Filipino… :)

A not-so-literal translation of the piece I nabbed online entitled “Yehey! Wala na kami!”, which literally translates as “Yahoo! We’re no longer together/ There is no more ‘we’/ We are no more!” I rarely get emotional when I read e-mails, and writing this was nothing short of an emotional catharsis for me. I suppose it doesn’t take a breakup for someone to be touched by this…

Thank God we’re no longer together.

Thank God we’re no longer together. I don’t have to worry about anything anymore. I don’t have anything to think about…

And yet I find it difficult to sleep at night because memories of her come rushing back. I think of how she held my hand, the kind of touch that tells me she would never leave me. I think of how she hugs me, the kind of hug that tells me she’d always be there to protect me. I think of how she kisses me, the kind of kiss that tells me that she loves me so much.

Thank God we’re no longer together. I don’t have to cry anymore…

But each night I still cry myself to sleep, because I miss her. I miss her enchanting smile, her corny jokes, her sweet glances that never fail to melt my heart, her zany laugh, her quirks and all the other crazy things she does. I miss all of that…

Thank God we’re no longer together. I don’t have anyone to call anymore, I don’t have to text her, and I can finally save some money for myself.

Yet each time I hold my cell phone, I always end up looking for her name. I’m always tempted to text her, or if not, call her. My finger aches to press “Write Message”, type my message to her, scroll the button to find her number, then press “Send”. If not, I scroll through my address book to look for her name and then I press “Call”. Even if I know that I’d run out of load and I don’t have money to buy any more credits (Because I already spent the money my mom gave me.). Even if I know she wouldn’t even reply, nor would she ever call. Nor can I ever expect her presence to grace my meager existence.

Thank God we’re no longer together. I can finally have some time for myself, for my family, and for my friends.

But each time I go out of the house, whether I’m with my family or my friends, I always remember her, and I wish that I’m with her right now. Holding hands while walking, teasing, joking around, and laughing. And then, a never-ending debate whether we’d eat lunch at Jollibee, McDo, KFC, or Max’s. If we’re going to a video game arcade to play video games, or perhaps play basketball, bowling, or billiards. And then, I take her back to her home, where I steal a kiss on the way back.

Thank God we’re no longer together. I no longer have to spend sleepless night in front of the computer, staying up until the wee hours of the morning chatting with her.

Yet each time I search for something on the Internet, I open my Yahoo Messenger, MSN Messenger, ICQ, and MIRC in hopes of seeing her online. If only I could talk to her, joke around with her again, and maybe we’d start working things out and there would be a “we” again.

Thank God we’re no longer together. I no longer have a girlfriend. I can now look at other girls and court other girls.

But I told myself, I’d never love again. Because she’s the only one I love. She is the only one who can complete my day, she is my only inspiration in anything and everything. She is the only one person who can understand me when I have a problem. She is the only one who can console me whenever I break down in tears. She is my life: only her, nobody else.

Perhaps I would love again, but not now, not yet…

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