Thursday, August 18, 2005

The Internet Is Really, Really Great.

.:Today's LSS:.

I wonder how fun it would be...

For today's post, after this song, I will add in parentheses, after EVERY sentence I make, the clause "for porn". I wonder if it comes off as funny as it did in the song? Heh.

The Internet Is For Porn
from Avenue Q

KATE
Finally, I get to teach a whole lesson, all by my self!
I'm going to teach something relevant, something modern.
The Internet!

The internet is really really great
TREKKIE MONSTER
For porn
KATE
I’ve got a fast connection so i don’t have to wait
TREKKIE
For porn
KATE
Huh?
There's always some new site,
TREKKIE
For porn!
I browse all day and night
TREKKIE
For porn!
KATE
It's like i’m surfing at the speed of light
TREKKIE
For porn!
KATE
Trekkie!

TREKKIE
The internet is for porn
KATE
Trekkie!
TREKKIE
The internet is for porn,
KATE
What are you doing!?
TREKKIE
Why you think the net was born?
Porn porn porn

KATE
Treee—kkie!
TREKKIE
Oh hello kate monster
KATE
You are ruining my song
TREKKIE
Oh me sorry, me no mean to
KATE
Well if you wouldnt mind please being quiet for a minute so i can finish?
TREKKIE
Me no talkie
KATE
Good

I’m glad we have this new technology
TREKKIE
For porn
KATE
Which gives us untold opportunity
TREKKIE
For por—oops, sorry
KATE
Right from you own desktop
TREKKIE
For ---
KATE
You can research browse and shop
Until you’ve had enough and your ready to stop
TREKKIE
FOR PORN!!


Trekkie!
TREKKIE
The internet is for porn!
KATE
Noooo
TREKKIE
The internet if for porn!
KATE
Trekkie
TREKKIE
Me up all night honking me horn to porn, porn, porn!

KATE
That’s gross you’re a pervert
TREKKIE
Ah, sticks and stones Kate monster
KATE
NO really, your a pervert
Normal people don’t sit at home and look
At porn on the internet
TREKKIE
Ohhhh?
KATE
What?!
TREKKIE
You have no idea
Ready normal people?

NORMAL PEOPLE
Ready--- ready ----ready

TREKKIE
Let me hear it!

TREKKIE AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!
PRINCETON
Sorry kate
TREKKIE AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!
PRINCETON
I m*****bate!
TREKKIE AND GUYS
All these guys unzip their flies
For porn, porn, porn!

KATE
The internet is not for porn!!

TREKKIE AND GUYS
PORN!, PORN, P---

KATE
HOLD ON A SECOND!

Now i know for a fact that you, Rob, check your portfolio and trade stocks online

ROB
That’s correct.

KATE
And Brian, you buy things on Amazon.com

BRIAN
Sure!

KATE
And Gary, you keep selling your possesions on Ebay

GARY
Yes I do!

KATE
And Princeton, you sent me that sweet online birthday card

PRINCETON
True!

TREKKIE
Oh, but Kate-
What you think he do . . .after? hmm?

PRINCETON
. .yeah

KATE
EEEWWWWW!
TREKKIE AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!
KATE
Gross!
TREKKIE AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!
KATE
I hate porn
TREKKIE AND GUYS
Grab your d*ck and double click
KATE
I hate you men!
TREKKIE AND GUYS
For porn, porn, porn!
(harmonizing) porn, porn, porn, porn
KATE
I’m leaving!
TREKKIE AND GUYS
Porn, porn, porn, porn
porn, porn, porn, porn
KATE
I hate the internet!
TREKKIE AND GUYS
Porn, porn, porn, porn

TREKKIE
The internet is for

TREKKIE AND SOME
The internet is for

TREKKIE AND ALL
The internet is for PORN!

TREKKIE
YEAH!


.:A Small Gathering (For porn.):.

So Sean, Clair, JM, Charo, and myself met up in Coffee Bean last night (For porn.). While I spent some time with Pomelo on that day due to all the stress I had, I felt a bit guilty because I was kind of grumpy towards her(For porn.). Still, I'm very grateful that she's been so understanding of supportive of me lately (For porn.).

While it was just the five of us left, Markpoa then dropped in on us (For porn.). He returned the Bioman DVD's but not the Shaider DVD's, so he'll just call up Peppy one of these days (For porn.). I also appreciated the CD-rom from him for scans of Superman-Batman: Public Enemies, which really would come in handy (For porn.).

Afterwards, the five of us headed off to Glorietta 4 (For porn.). Charo was feeling rather magnanimous, so she treated me to a steak in House Of Minis, which I certainly appreciated (For porn.). There were even some funny conversations about Coco Lee (For porn.). Afterwards, we just went back home, but we certainly had a great time there (For porn.).

You know, this (For porn) business is a bit difficult. Heh. Can't believe my post even made sense so far with it all over the place. Lol. I guess I can stop now.

.:Groggy:.

My mom told me Mike Enriquez liked my application, but I'm still a bit groggy when I went to work despite the news that should've picked me up.

So it came as a total surprise to me when a listener called up to tell me that the music "sucks" just because my songs were keeping her up. I was asked to do her a favor, and play her slow songs like "all the other DJ's do". Is she even listening to other stations? They certainly aren't all trying to put people to sleep.

That, plus hey, you gutless little prissy bastich, maybe you've forgotten my show comes after, oh, "DREAMsounds"? That means I really shouldn't be after putting you to sleep, you know.

'Sides, if you hate the music so much, then stop effing listening, and yet you still do.

Pathetic.

1 comment:

filmphiler said...

so, you're gonna be on t.v. now? :p