Friday, August 05, 2005


.:I Hope She Doesn’t Mind, But…:.

Serendipity. Indeed, I have seen that at work in relationships, present and past. A slight twist of fate here or there, and one’s life could be so radically different and we’d never even realize it.

Serendipity. Indeed, I know that’s what led me to you. People believe in destiny. I do, too. But I realize it’s up to us to make our own luck as well. The universe can give us all the coincidences we need to make things happen. God, if you’re so inclined, can give us all the coincidences we need to make things happen. But it’s up to us to make things happen, beings of free will that we truly are.

Three months. A quarter of a year. Approximately ninety days. The first trimester of childbirth. Three months can signify a myriad things, countless connotations, both good and bad. But for you and I today, dear Gynius of mine, three months represents a time of happiness. A glimpse of forever with each other. A glimpse that I will myself to believe, because doing so makes me feel so happy, so secure, to be with you.

Three months. A short time that has made me realize so many things. In the span of three months, I had to unmake everything that would’ve unmade me. All my faults, all my shortcomings, all my fears. I’m far from perfect. I still am far from perfect. But by the grace of God, I do try to be just that for you. You’re worth a million and one Herculean efforts, and so much more. In you, I have found some measure of redemption, knowing that this time, I can love far better than I let myself love before. Far more certitude, far more resolve, and ultimately, far more love.

I may never be able to turn back the hands of time, and thank goodness for that. I can’t quite get anywhere if all I would do is to go against the flow of time. The here and the now, the fact that I am a being in time, serves me notice that indeed, I can only do things as best as I could for the first time, every time. Life is one big movie with no cuts, no take two’s, and, quite clearly, no stand-ins. We live our lives, no matter how earnest we are in doing otherwise. Life, far from being a spectator sport, is something that we can’t allow to pass us by, and so I can only look to the present and the future with you. I am hopeful. I am steadfast. And I believe that you and I will persevere amid all the challenges and hurdles we are faced with.

Maligayang ikatlong buwan sa atin. Mahal na mahal na mahal kita. Alam mo iyan.

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