Thursday, May 04, 2006

Overwhelming Bitterness....

.:All For Charity:.

So I spent the evening at Metrowalk instead of watching Wave's premiere of MI-3. We were required to be part of a charity event for children with cancer, as everyone from Francis M to Imago to MYMP to Paolo Santos performed there, and WAVE, Magic, JAM, RT, and K-Lite hosted the event.

I was tempted to have my head shaved at Bruno's Barbershop to express my solidarity with the children with cancer, but decided against it at the last moment. My partner, Gia spent most of the night talking to me about where our career paths were headed, and she echoed my sentiments of losing any motivation to excel in a thankless timeslot.

Being there in that event and seeing a good chunk of the jocks who were "required" to show up actually not show up kind of made Gia and I feel extremely put off, all the same. No doubt, the same jocks are enjoying MI-3 in Galleria at that very moment and would fear no sanctions at all despite it being "required" for them to show up.

The glaring favoritism and the second-class citizenry is just getting to be too much to bear, and I am continually looking into other options now, because I'm sick and tired of this crap.

In the end, I hope that our contributions to the event sufficed. I was personally proud to have done my part, but it did not, by any stretch of imagination, make me feel the least bit better about my station, to say the least. I am frankly disappointed over how neglected we have been despite our initiatives, and all it would take is one good opportunity elsewhere for me to up and leave by now.

Screw loyalty when the company screws you over.

.:Flawless Skin?:.

A WAVE listener was telling me his sister said I had flawless skin.


Similarly, I was asked by some talent scout if I wanted to do commercials, all the same. I was handed a calling card, and was asked when my braces would be removed.

Here we go again...

.:Bitter Doesn't Begin To Cover It...:.

Looking at couples surrounding me left and right never fails to make me bitter now. It's as if all the couples in the world suddenly decided to exist in my immediate vicinity and lord it over me that I'm alone now. Okay, fine. So maybe Marcelle's just being too observant for his own good, but still... it stings. A lot.

Friendship as nothing more than a consolation prize is a bitter pill to swallow, and I still can't wrap my head around the idea of bastardizing my concept of a friendship to something being strictly inferior to a relationship...

.:Today's LSS:.

I'll Never Get Over You Getting Over Me:.
by Expose

I hear you're taking the town again
Having a good time, with all your good town friends

I don't think that you think of me
You're on your own now, and I'm alone and free

I know that I should get on with my life
But a life lived without you could never be right

As long as the stars shine down from the heaven
As long as the rivers run to the sea
I'll never get over you, getting over me

I try to smile so the hurt won't show
Tell everybody, that I was glad to see you go

But the tears just won't go away (won't go away)
Loneliness found me, looks like it's here to stay

I know that I ought to find someone new
but all I find is myself always thinking of you


No matter what I do,
It's not a lifetime to live through
I can't go on like this, I need your touch
you're the only one I'll ever love...


I'll never get over you getting over me...

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