Monday, August 20, 2007

Random Thoughts... The Start Of A Barrage...

.:I Wish My Beloved Could Sit In...:.

It seems to me that every single Monday that we have class with Mr. Calasanz for advanced metaphysics, we end up talking about love, since it's one of the easiest ideas to use to illustrate certain points Heidegger and Balthazar bring up regarding metaphysics.

With each passing week, it allows me to get a better handle on why I love the way I do, and it emphasizes that at the end of it all, no matter how hard you try to rationalize love, it will always come down to the plain and simple fact that love involves a blind leap. A commitment, after all, is a promise made to the unknown. And when we love, while there are things that attract us to the one we love, to say that these qualities are what makes us love her are put into question because it would mean we stop loving once these qualities are apart from the substance.

Yet how can we love the substance? What is there in the substance, apart from its accidents, that makes it lovable?

Precisely the fact that we love is that which makes the substance lovable. Precisely the fact that our love ought to be a love freely given to a substance that has never even done a thing to merit its existence in the first place. If all of us exist by the goodness of One, then should we not pay this goodness forward by learning to love as a gift freely given?

We can never truly understand what love is all about. All we can do is make an attempt to say what it means to us to the best of our abilities, and almost immediately, proceed to unsay it and simply act on it.

.:I Start Teaching Tomorrow! Gah...:.

Well, Reedley finally hired me, and while I could use a higher salary than what they're offering, it's still a job, and the hours are definitely better than my last one. \My obvious worry at this point though is that I can't be too sure how good it'd turn out to be if my work ends up delaying my finishing my Masters by yet another semester. That definitely wouldn't bode too well for me, to be honest.

In any case, given all the stuff I had to go through for the past couple of weeks, this is a welcome reprieve. I'm certainly glad that things are looking up for me after a couple of weeks of gloom and doom, and things are slowly beginning to stabilize again. Who knows, maybe I can *finally* blog the way I normally do again, albeit I must admit I haven't blogged this often since 2004, so I guess I should already count my blessings as is.

.:Fashion Consultant:.

My Beloved joined me as I went shopping for pants and shoes in Greenhills two Fridays ago, as she took it upon herself to be my fashion consultant. Knowing full well that I'm not the most patient man in the world when it comes to shopping for clothes, I relied on her to give me her second opinion whether or not this pair of pants or this pair of shoes would be the one I'd be getting for myself.

It was a really great time, to say the least. I know we had very little time to spend with each other, but we made the most out of it as we shared our time with each other, just really enjoying each other's company. We even had lunch at this place called Won Ton, and I loved the food there. It's arguably one of the best Chinese restaurants I've run into as of late, although in my opinion, for the price, Wai Ying is still going to be one of the toughest ones to top, when it comes down to it.

I'm glad that my Beloved and I are learning to love each other better and better with each passing day. It's not the easiest thing to do, especially since neither of us are the easiest people you can ever get along with. Despite that, I can't say enough how much I really am thankful that after all this time, my Beloved and I are truly learning to make this relationship work out.

Whether it be the whole open relationship deal, or the fact that the both of us are simply just the undisputed king and queen or mood swings, or whatever other idiosyncracy we may possess, small moments like last Friday where she became my very own fashion consultant are always going to be special days in my heart. I can't help but feel that through these small steps we take, Rowena and I are building something wonderful together.

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