What's this week's top five?

Well, firstly, let me announce NEXT WEEK'S TOP FIVE. If I manage to hit an all-time high of five answers to this, that'd be great...
What are the top five ways to define love?

As for this week...

The Top Five Things You Don't Want To Hear In An Operating Room

5. Congatulations, miss! It's a girl... uhh.. a boy... uhh.. what the heck is this? (From Joko)
4. Stand back! Nobody... steps... on... the... liver!!! (From Adrian)
3. Doc... doc... Mamaya na iyan. Nakikiliti ako, eh. (From Marge)
2. Accept our offering, O Lord of Darkness... (From Crystal)
1. Said by a burly, muscular nurse in a soft tone: Sir, maghubad na kayo. (From Delamar)