Thursday, February 03, 2005

LSS for tomorrow. :)

.:Overspending:.

Mental note: stay away from arcades for the meantime, Marcelle. You're spending way too much money there... oh, well.

.:American Idol:.

From what I heard, LL Cool J was actually awfully nice and friendly during his turn as a celebrity judge.

At the same time, a mime auditioned. Hilarity ensued, as Simon Cowell complimented the mime for her wonderful “singing”.

.:On Abby:.

I dropped by Abby this morning to lend her my DVD of Battle Royale. She was painting something, and we were mostly conversing about various topics. It was interesting, really. I wish her all the luck when it comes to her next job interview, though.

While I was watching “Please Teach Me English” last night, I kept on remembering Abby and her character in Bobby’s short films. She looks like the lead star of the film when she wears glasses, too…

One of the funny things we talked about was my weird dream last night. It involved a friend of mine, Lani Lao, and we were supposedly talking inside a bus about my recent change of status. I swear. That dream was weird.

Anyways, Abby and I got to agreeing about why I’m now into Koreans instead of Chinese, and she felt that Daph Villanueva and Lani Lao were both prize “catches” as girlfriends. Interesting thought, really.

Shortly thereafter, I left, and hugged her for good luck. It’s been a while since I saw her, and I think she’s coming along pretty well, after her recent mishaps.

I then SMSed her…

Abby, thanks for today. A while ago, we were talking about “good catches”. I may no longer feel the same sentiments, but I think it would do good to remind you that you’re one yourself. Good day. :)

And her reply…

Thanks. It makes me smile to see how we’ve grown to become who we are today. You know I don’t always agree with you, but you are a true friend. I’m positive you’re on the right track.

I guess I am. Sometimes, it does good to be reminded why she's my best friend... :)

.:Annoyance?:.

Being partners with Jean has been a boon and a bane of sorts for me. The thing is, I can't play the songs I'd like to play whenever we work together, as she'd be in charge of the board. It gets annoying, but at least I can focus my attention mainly on my online stuff. Still, I personally find it a bit of an inconvenience at times to be partners with someone... although Jean and I have a fairly good rapport, truth be told.

Keiko, Anne's new partner, is really coming into his own. Quite a genuine student of the sport, if I do say so myself.

.:Still Delayed...:.

I never seemed to have gotten around to doing that Levinas thing... maybe I should list the five things down again...

1. Being caught by surprise
2. Wanting something so badly.
3. Getting out of a sticky situation.
4. Losing face.
5. Feeling nauseous.

Thing is, I simply wanted to go out and reflect on all five topics one at a time, perhaps even find a way to tie them up somehow. I suppose I could do such a thing, except I really shouldn't expect to finish all five in one sitting. I suppose I can do a phenomenological breakdown of each topic one at a time... that being said...

.:The Phenomenological Breakdown: Being Caught By Surprise:.

When was the last time you got caught by surprise?

There is just something so indescribable about surprises. Whether you like or hate surprises, truth be told, they have a kind of charm that's all their own. Whenever we think we know what to expect about anyone or anything and somehow get proven wrong, we are caught by surprise, and it is certainly an experience that is out of the ordinary.

I think what makes being caught by surprise rather unique in and by itself is that it manages to stress all too well how surprise is that which has a hold over us, as if the universe were gently reminding us that no matter how fervently we will things, we are still never fully in charge of everything that happens in our lives. When we are caught by surprise, we are reminded that there is something that moves beyond us: something that can bring about the unexpected and throw askew our unrealistic notion that we have everything under our control. We don't. And thank God for that.

When I find myself caught by surprise, I realize that surprise has me for that moment. In being caught by surprise, I do myself a favor by allowing myself to be caught and not to struggle against it, as it is clearly futile. Taking a cue from Meister Eckhart's usage (And Martin Heidegger's as well.) of the term Gelassenheit or releasement, we see here a quiet surrender to the fact that being caught by surprise is something we certainly do not have power over. If only for the fact that in not having power over everything we manage to place more realistic expectations about the human condition, then certainly, being caught by surprise has its merits beyond a mere emotional rush.

At times (And you should refer to “getting out of a sticky situation” when I get around to it.), when one is caught by surprise, one likewise finds himself in a sticky situation. Inasmuch as people can like or dislike surprises, people could certainly want or not want to get out of a sticky situation. I think such simple slices of life really keep human beings sane and allow them to not place the full brunt of everything that happens in the world squarely upon their own shoulders. Because surprises are a way of telling us our control over everything can extend only so far, they are simply events that make the human condition all the more interesting, and all the more worth living out.

In my entire life nobody has ever bothered to give me a surprise party. It's always been the case that I'd plan my own celebrations, lest people actually forget my birthday. At times, it can depress me to think that maybe I don't have thoughtful friends, but at the same time, I can't really blame them. The moment I expect a surprise party, the moment I no longer allow myself to be “caught” by surprise, the moment I exert an attempt to have dominion over even being caught by surprise, I begin to deny my humanity. I will refuse to expect any surprises in this year or the years to come in that regard, but I will still give the power of surprises to catch me by merely hoping for one before my time is up.

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