Friday, April 06, 2007


.:Ups And Downs:.

My Beloved and I have been quite on a rollercoaster lately, but it's a ride I hope to never get off of.

The past few days has been an astounding series of highs and lows, and while the lows tend to really get me all in a tizzy, the highs more than make up for it.

It's been the case lately that I tend to make mountains out of molehills whenever I push her into resolving a problem without giving her the time to really process things and just let things roll off her back.

But it's not easy. I'm a bit too solution-oriented, and we end up just escalating what should be an issue that wouldn't have been an issue at all in a mere couple of hours. What annoys me about myself is that whenever the going is good, I keep on saying things that just ruins everything. I hate myself for that.

Yesterday, I was going through a marathon of Rocky. At that point, we were okay. But I just had to blow things out of proportion and by Rocky II, we were fighting like anything, and I ended up saying things I sincerely regret saying. Unbelievably, we were patching up in the middle of the Ivan Drago fight in Rocky IV. It was a strange rollercoaster of emotions, that's true, but it's all part and parcel of who we are.

Just this day, we were on cloud 9 with each other, as during the middle of the night, she just asked me a question that floored me. You see, despite how long we've been "together", it's not like she referred to me as anything more than my name. Next thing I knew, she asked if I could be her "boyfriend", and I was just absolutely slackjawed and didn't know what to say. I felt very validated and more importantly, very loved that moment.

So for the rest of the day, we've been simply enjoying spending our time with each other even just over the phone. As I went with Charo and her family (Whom I spent the Holy Weekend with as they so graciously adopted me.), my Beloved was practically with us as I told her what was happening as we went from church to church to church. We didn't get to go through seven churches though.

Nonetheless, I felt bad because my stupid mouth got me in trouble again. I hate it when that happens. It seems whenever the going is good, I just have to put my foot in my mouth and everything just goes to Hades in a handbasket.

Yet through it all, she still finds it in her heart to still put up with me. And I can never thank her enough for that. I love her, and she's been such a powerful influence in my life. She's changed me in ways I never thought possible, and I truly pray every night to Him that it would be my Beloved and I because I can see myself with her for the rest of my life.

My Beloved has been super sweet this day. Sometimes I wish I could just record this day and rewind it the moment it ends.... I love her so much!!!


I watched the entire Rocky series yesterday. I'm so inspired.

I feel like I wanna punch a guy.

1 comment:

Shari said...

Parang signal ng Sun, fluctuation. But this, too, shall pass. You'll both get through it. :)