Wednesday, May 23, 2007

It's A Downer...

.:Nice E-Bayer…:.

So I ended up not completing a transaction on E-Bay with someone despite the fact that I won his Mox Jet.

Despite that, we still exchanged positive feedback because he was so cordial in keeping in touch with me as we tried to thresh out the sale of the item that I couldn’t help but appreciate the effort he exerted in replying very promptly to me every step of the way.

Unfortunately for the both of us, PayPal didn’t protect him because the confirmed address is in the Philippines… I hate that.

But hey, I suddenly found myself saving money and now, I can buy a Mox Sapphire instead, which turns out to be more important to my deck than a Jet…

.:Check Him Out…:.

Jonas has a nice archive of his comics. I think you should try and check it out. You just might like it.

.:Still A Loner...:.

As the celebration here goes on, I feel that I'm still a loner to this day...

I just can't bring myself to enjoy this party here at IAS... I just can't.

I'm such a square.

Or maybe I was just meant to be alone.

.:Meeting Sacha Again…:.

Ranulf and I fetched Sacha at the airport this morning.

I have to say that while I don’t have much to say about our meeting each other again, I am very happy that one of my best friends is back in town, and looking very happy at this point.

I’m happy for her, and I hope that the next two weeks will prove to be rejuvenating for her.

We missed her. All of us here do.

.:“Prudence Is The Better Path To Take”:.

Quite frankly, this changes the rules of the game significantly. Getting the job was supposed to completely supplant the need for WAVE, and would allow me the breathing room I needed as I went back to the academe.

Now, the English department pretty much rejected my application on the strength of feedback from other departments. Or should I say, another department?

It is no secret that I haven’t really been seeing eye to eye with the Philosophy department in quite a while, even if I do happen to be taking my Masters under them. One of the biggest points of contention is that when I was a teaching assistant for Ethics class, I met someone who ended up being my girlfriend after she graduated.

I think it is imperative for me to make the emphasis here: after she graduated.

In spite of that, that whole issue became one of the main reasons I was not hired as a teaching assistant the following schoolyear.

It was devastating to me because it threw my whole M.A. plans awry. I couldn’t afford an M.A. on my own, so I had to stop my Masters indefinitely, and only now did I find a prime opportunity to do so.

The English department was a logical fit for me. I went ahead with the whole application process, and after the teaching demonstration and even the panel interview, the prognosis was good.

It was almost a foregone conclusion that they were hiring me. I started building my plans around that fact, and then the ill-fated letter of rejection showed up in my inbox.

The moment the letter started with the word “while”, my heart sank.

I knew I wasn’t going to be teaching this semester, and most likely even, this schoolyear.

You know, it would be easy to accept if I felt I wasn’t qualified enough. It would be understandable if I didn’t do well during my teaching demonstration, or during the subsequent panel interview.

But it wasn’t any of those reasons that kept me from getting hired. What the letter of rejection told me was that “further deliberation and consultation with colleagues in other Departments of the Loyola Schools strongly suggest that prudence is the better path to take”.

Hogwash, I say to you.

The obvious reason why they are rejecting my application is the laughable concern that I am at risk of dating my students. That has never happened, since I never dated my ex until at least a month after graduation. For them to use an unfair “precedent” that should have no bearing on my current status is a clear-cut bias that is only masked by the word “prudence”.

There is nothing “prudent” about shafting someone who has demonstrated a willingness and an aptitude to do his job. There is nothing “prudent” about some other department completely turning around one’s fortune by making so negative a recommendation that it is enough to override a strong demonstration and interview.

Didn’t the Philosophy department already do enough damage to my hopes in the academe by repeatedly rejecting my applications to teach for them? Why do they have to stand in the way of my applications for other departments?

Marcelle is fuming simply because he got shafted by a department who had no stake in this application. It’s almost as if they are actively seeking to screw him over and keep him from ever getting the kind of experience he would need in teaching.

At this point, even going back to finishing my Masters in Ateneo is in jeopardy. Do I really want to be in a place where I am clearly not wanted? I may just completely abandon this whole pipe dream of teaching altogether thanks to the fact that my own home department can do nothing more than continue to hold me back.

I have it up to about here with this already. I simply can’t get a fair shake.

.:Don’t You Think It’s Time?:.

Don’t you think it’s time we let bygones be bygones?
That we just live again and ignore not what we had once?
Don’t you think it’s time you and I just moved on?
Beyond the hurtful words, and the metaphorical guns?

Don’t you think it’s time Plato had his opportunity
To prove to us that there’s still life after you and me
Don’t you think it’s time to see that truthfully,
We simply didn’t do right by each other, honestly

Don’t you think it’s time we let cooler heads prevail?
Let us not have our time have been spent in vain
Don’t you think it’s time we stop the pain?
Forgive ourselves… perhaps lovers we were doomed to fail

1 comment:

Shari said...

Oh dang. I'm really sorry about the prudence issue. Can't you just make an appeal or something, since what they did is an insult to your senses? Haaay.