Here's a series of Personal Messages sent between myself and one Mr. Yoso guy, who has got to be one of the most idiotic people I've ever encountered. His glaring lack of comprehension skills is just alarming and amusing at the same time.
I am writing in blue font. He is writing in red font.
In any case, this stemmed from a thread on The Story Circle, where he tried to stir up trouble over the forums, and I promptly shut him down. Other posters told his group to work on their English, and when he claimed to be an English major, I was quick to point out to him over PM that I somehow doubt that to be the case. The thing is, I wanted to take it to PM because I figured there was no need to embarrass him even further in the thread. This was his hostile reply:
having been an education student hasnothing ("has nothing") to do with what am i ("With what I am...") posting!?!
Kahit anu ("ano". I won't even bother insisting on correcting his Filipino as well, but he's far from perfect here, too.) nalang talaga gigagawan nyo nang issue,kaya di matapos tapos tong awayan na to eh!
You said you're an ENGLISH major.
Your grammar is atrocious. Yet you claim you're an ENGLISH major.
Puh-lease. Hindi ko ito "isyu" sa Underground. At lalong hindi ako certified member ng TSC. Isyu ko ito kasi kung talagang "ENGLISH" major ka, ewan ko lang kung natuto ka nga.
His reply, which made me scratch my head:
Nag research ka pa ba maigi bago mo gamitin yung word na yan??? ?? (The Department of Punctuation Mark Abuse called. They want you to be kinder to the question marks.)
grievous (Grievous - causes fear and anxiety by threatening great harm. i.e., "His grievous abuse of the English language endangers my well-being.")
heinous (Heinous - hateful, abominable. i.e., "The fact that he still thinks he can even begin to correct my grammar is a heinous crime of stupidity.)
monstrous (Monstrous - i.e., his grammar.)
evil (Evil - i.e., his English teacher. His English teacher played a cruel joke on him because Mr. Yoso genuinely thinks he's right!)
honestly speaking, i checked on that word, at eto mga synonyms nyan,i think its ("it's") not appropriate sa sentence... ... ... Tsk! tsk! Tsk!
Wag kang mag alala, di ku naman pinag mamalaki na English major ako before, and to think na 3 years ku lang kinuha yon. I was just forced to take that course.And Its a little bit impossible to think na sa loob ng tatlong taon wala akong natutunan. Siguro kung ikaw nasa klagayan ko, malamang ganun nga!!!
Npaka un-ethical mo (Unethical? Not only did he spell this wrong, I don't think the word means what he thinks it does.)... Dinadagdagan mo pa yung isyu, pwede bang tumahimik ka na lang??? (Ah, yes. The traditional argument of someone who can't take it the way he dishes it out.)
Anu bang problema mo? Pwede bang wag kna lang makialam, pinalalaki mu lang kasi yung problema!!! Di ka naman nkakatulong... ... ... OK!!! (After I gave five tips on street magic, he has the nerve to tell me that I didn't help at all. Ha!)
Ahahaha!!! It means your English is HORRIBLE! HEINOUS! MONSTROUS! YES! THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I DAMN MEANT!
Unethical? Hindi ako naghanap ng gulo. Pumunta ka sa teritoryo ng TSC. Ikaw ang naghanap ng gulo. Binibigay ko lang ang hinahanap mo.
Don't even try to cross me. Wala akong away kay Incognito. Hindi ko pa kilala TSC, kilala ko na siya, so wala akong away sa UM. Ang away ko ngayon, sa iyo lang. Kasi, eekstra-ekstra ka, samantalang nakipag-ayos na sina Incognito sa TSC two Saturdays ago.
At kung hindi ka rin naman TANGA, nakatulong ako. Nagbigay ako ng limang crashing tips dun sa thread, diba? Ano binigay mo? Sakit sa ulo?
Nakikialam ako kasi nagmamarunong ka. Papasok-pasok ka sa forums ng TSC, tapos ikaw pa ang may ganang maghanap ng away. Wala ka sa lugar.
Hindi na ang UM-TSC ang isyu. Ang isyu ngayon, hindi ka marunong mag-Ingles. Your damned English IS atrocious. Oo, angkop iyan sa sentence. Gamitin mo naman utak mo. Your damned English is MONSTROUS. It's an ABOMINATION. It makes my freaking eyes bleed.
So if you want to get owned some more, go on ahead. i'll be waiting. My fight was never with Underground Magos. It was always with your self-righteous, ignorant punk-@$$.
And this is the part where I get a laugh at his expense:
Pare (Hindi kita "pare".) Nang GagaGo ka ba??? Ano bang Problema mo??? Tigil tigilan mo ko baka di kita matantsa!!! (The Department of Punctuation Mark Abuse would like to request some mercy for the exclamation points as well...)
Bakit? Sino ka ba sa tingin mo??? (Get ready for it... get ready...)
Isa ka bang propesor para pag sabihan ako nyan??? (Ahahahahaha. Ahahahahahaha. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!)
para sabihin ko sayo, hindi ako nag mamalaki sa sinabi ko (Backtracking, aren't we? Didn't you say that you're proud that you "learned" something from your three years as an ENGLISH major?), Mahina ka lang talaga umintindi.... ok! tanggapin mo yan!!! Pinapaliwanag ku lang kung ano ang totoo! tagalog na nga ginamit ko, hirap na hirap ka pa din intindihin!!! pasalamat ka ayoko lang mag mura, dahil alam ko, may kalalagyan ka na sa mga pinag sasabi mo!!! At ayokong matulad sa yo na nag mamalaki na akala mo kung sino kang magaling mag english, AnG PANGIT NAMAN NANG UGALI MO!!!! pasalamat ka lang talaga, Dahil kung pwede lang akong mag mura, kanina ku pa ginawa!!!
Tsaka nag iisip ka ba??? anong gusto mo mag paka pormal ako sa mga pino-post ko??? Siguro naman nabasa mo yung tungkol sa pag po-post di ba??? Na hindi naman dapat ganun ka pormal ang pag po-post!!! (No, I wanted you to cut the BS, but clearly, that's outside of your intellectual capacity to do so.)
At tsaka sino ba may sabing kaya ako pumunta dito e nag hahanap ako nang gulo??? Ikaw ang nag hahanap ng gulo,Sino ka ba talaga? Anu ba gusto mong mangyari? ikaw ang sakit sa ULO!!! Tandaan mu yan!!!
Alam mu naman pala na nakikipag ayos na, nung isang linggo pa, E bat satsat ka pa din nanggg satsat jan??? Daig mu pa babae ha!!! Anu bang PinuPutak Putak mu jan???
Sabi ku na nga ba eh, kinakampihan mo yon dahil alam mo kung ano nangyari sa aming dalawa.. aNO??? sUMAGOT KA!!! MATAGAL MU NA PALA SYANG KILALA! para sabihin ko sayo, Di pa nag ma-magick yan, kilala ku na yan!!! (Huh? What is this guy smoking? Must be some pretty strong stuff. You mean, may "nangyari" sa inyong dalawa ni Incognito? Tsk, intriga iyan!)
"So if you want to get owned some more, go on ahead". -i check mu nga yan! Mahiya ka sa sarili mo, nag mamalaki ka tignan mu nga yang sinabi mo kung tamA!!!! Baluktot English mo Dong!!! (Oh. My. God. Did he just take the word "owned" literally? ROFLMAO)
"Your damned English is MONSTROUS. It's an ABOMINATION. It makes my freaking eyes bleed."- Masyado kang Exaggerated!!! tsaka Emo ka ba!???! Makes my freaking eyes bleed!!! pwede ba!!! You're A FREAK!!! Yan ang masasabi ko sayo!!! (I love how he gets worked up over this. He can't take it the way he dishes it out at all. Calling me a freak as a last-ditch attempt at a comeback is just so sophomoric, I almost pity him. Almost.)
Nga pala Bagay sayo yang costume mo, Muka kang Tang_!!! (Did he just mistake my avatar as my "costume"? Triple LOL.)
And here's the last part (so far), where he got served some more...
Why, yes. I'm an English PROFESSOR. So STFU, and go dunk your head in the water.
I sent my messages to you LONG BEFORE NAKIPAG-AYOS ang UM sa TSC. I took it to PM because I didn't want to embarrass you in public, but hey, if you want me to own you some more for all to see, I'll be more than happy to. Here you go!
Oh, by the way, yes, you got OWNED. It's net lingo for getting completely defeated, and quite frankly, the fact that you have NO IDEA what "owned" means pretty much tells me all I need to know: not only do you have a horrible grasp of English, you don't even understand the concept of slang!
Here, let me help you: here's the word in urban dictionary.
So please, I'll just keep owning you over and over again the more you show to me how little you REALLY know.
Madali magyabang kung may ipagyayabang. Graduating Cum Laude in COMMUNICATION ARTS from Ateneo de Manila University and being an English instructor in Reedley International School gives me EVERY RIGHT to correct your English as I see fit.
Keep digging, peon. You just prove my point every single time you try to respond.
And that, my friends, is pwnag3 at its most vicious...