Monday, February 18, 2008

I Wish I Didn't Even Find The Time To Do This...

.:Red Kryptonite Galore!:.

My Beloved is sadly very occupied as of late, what with the fact that she's on the night shift for her nursing duty. It's frustrating to know she won't be the last voice I'd hear before I go to sleep...

What really gets to me is that while sprucing up my Multiply and Friendster, I inadvertently run into some people I wish I wouldn't have to run into anymore.

It's easy to say they're out of my mind when I don't see them or talk to them, but wounds always open up anew when they're within my proximity.

I easily get affected not because I want to get with them, or anything ludicrous like that. I'm easily affected because I never really do learn to forgive myself for any mistakes I have made back then. That I screwed up so bad that I can't even bring myself to face them normally gives me all the hints I need to realize that I'm my own worst critic.

I still sometimes worry I'm a horrible boyfriend, or even a horrible friend for that matter. I try so hard to not repeat any of my past mistakes, but in doing so, I end up stepping on a hornet's nest, at times causing even more harm than good.

Unfortunately, I just can't forgive myself for my countless screw-ups. I don't know if I ever can.

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