Here's a song that I wish was written a year ago...
Someday you’re gonna realize
One day you’ll see this though my eyes
By then I won’t even be there
I’ll be happy somewhere
Even if I cared
I know you don’t really see my worth
You think you’re the best girl on Earth
Well I’ve got news for you
I know I’m not that strong
But it won’t take long
Won’t take long
Someday someone’s gonna love me
The way I wanted you to need me
Someday someone’s gonna take your place
One day I’ll forget about you
Right now I know you can tell
I’m down and I’m not doing well
But one day these tears they will all run dry
I won’t have to cry, sweet goodbye
There are moments I'm taken aback how people can take things casually and not miss a beat. But I guess that's to be expected when all you ever really had was a shallow connection. It's hard to make something out of nothing.
Still, at least, by my view, the good outweighs the bad. Too bad it doesn't cut both ways, when hindsight speaks in the opposite direction in other cases.
.:On Love And Being In Love:.
Sometimes, I wonder what I would rather have if I can't have both.
Would I rather someone were in love with me, but didn't love me?
Or would I rather that someone simply loves me, but wasn't in love with me?
There's a big, big difference between the two, and they may or may not be mutually exclusive, depending on the situation.
When you love someone, you care about their welfare and look after their happiness. Loving someone entails some measure of commitment, and to be honest, that's why I'm not too uneasy when a friend tells me that they love me, because I know exactly what it means. Because I love my friends. I care about them a lot, and I know I want to see them happy.
When someone tells me that they stick out with me because they feel great when they see me happy, I'm a bit put off, particularly when I see that person romantically. Such a way of thinking would easily mean they are either one (Loving you.) or the other (In love with you.), but most likely not both.
I've been on both sides of the equation, and I still can't quite determine what I'd rather have. Is it possible to learn to fall in love with someone? Can loving someone even after the illusions of being in love with that person have been stripped away be possible? Either proposition seems to be a tall order, and I'm a bit unnerved when thinking about it.
What makes it ironic is that despite the uncertainty when someone isn't in love with you but loves you, this is the most secure place to be in a relationship. The drawback is that in some cases, it can be argued that stable = stagnant.
In contrast, when you are in a relationship with someone madly in love with you, you thrive on extreme highs and extreme lows, which results in an unstable and rapidly burning out relationship if nothing deeper is established. But the tradeoff is when you thrive, oh how you thrive!
All I know for certain is that I do not know. But I am more than happy to find out.
Ah, so many odd conflicts and quirks and interactions.