Monday, June 23, 2003

There's a bit more in my LJ about this... check it there if you can. :)

New link: Chiyo, aka Annabelle! She's one of the people I know from OB, and as I must've mentioned in the past, she looks a bit like Abby...

The past few days were such a blur. I must say that Friday, while of course was quite the turning point for my viewpoint regarding Grace's sister (Oh, but she's been getting even worse, I must say...), also proved to be a good day for me to test my new Chyna deck for RAW Deal. Apparently, the build for the deck wouldn't work against someone like Kane, but it can easily lock out a lot of other decks. Let's face it: I think this is the very reason they're trying to change the Chyna archetype already next expansion by making some cards that aren't too friendly towards Female Superstars. At the same time, Goldust seemed to have gotten quite a shaft as well... a certain new card makes his foil halfway useless, except for reducing his opponent's handsize further.

Saturday was more of the same, as we had a bigger tournament than the previous night's mini-tournament, what with twenty-five competitors. At the same time, Grace's sister was contemplating in keeping me from ever sleeping over at their house again (As if she owns the place...). Anyways, Mike Legaspi won that one, and it was a pretty good run for him with his nigh-unstoppable Brothers of Destruction deck. Overall, I had a pretty busy day there, and to add to all of it, Tsumenki was asking me to accompany her to a sort of date... I felt guilty because we ended at 8 in the evening, two hours beyond the time I would've met Tsumenki had it pushed through...

Sunday was probably the best day of that week, though. Grace came along with the family to watch The Hulk with us (I loved this film. I'm giving it a fairly good rating.), after a sumptuous lunch that consisted of cheese macaroni, fride chicken, and baked mussels in garlic, butter, and cheese. We also purchased Harry Potter 5, which, I must say, was keeping me in stitches (And I only just finished with chapter 6...) from the start. Some would probably be disappointed with this installment, paritcularly the kids who expected another lighthearted romp. From what I've gleaned in the first six chapters, this installment is taking a rather sinister turn that kids just might not actually be ready for yet. Well, Rowling did warn everyone who cared to listen that she never really considered her writing as "children's literature", not because she wasn't catering to them, but more likely because she wasn't trying to cater to them...

Today, the Morning Rush had a rather interesting topic, as they wanted to talk about the things that people hate but couldn't live without. Answers ranged from alarm clocks to F4 songs... and Chico was harping on quite a deal about impotent men as possessing "wet noodles", which promptly became his new nickname, courtesy of Delamar. Heh. Those two never run out of ways to... err... expose one another. In addition to that, only recently did I realize that in the new RX ad about the Monster going global, my voice was actually used for it! I'm the guy who goes "I'd like to greet my brother in Sydney, Austraila a happy birthday. He listens everyday!". Yep, I'm ego-tripping on that small bit again... heh.


Now, why don't we go into character?

It appears, after today's Theology class, that Marcelle has alwas been, and perhaps, will always be...

A bloody loner.

Okay, so maybe Marcelle is never at a loss for, say, conversation. Neither does he have a dearth of acquaintances and friends. But the fact remains that in the list of priorities among most of his so-called friends, so it seems, he ranks pretty damned low. So fine. Marcelle doesn't expect to be the center of attention. That's not the point, really. The point is, why does he have to always be the last resort when it comes to these people? It's not like he's some lazy lout who can't contribute anything worthwhile to the group. So now, he's taking a gamble with five people who've been absent from class, and hoping that'd make for a good group for him to join. Of course, he'd rather go with Elbert's group, but then, he needs to work on that, too. Fact is, Marcelle has never gotten beyond his High School trauma of being the odd man out, and if things don't change pace soon, he prolly never will. Yes, he sure as Hades can live without having a group to call his own, but then, it's merely a "level of survival that he is willing to put up with", as the Architect would put it. No, it's an affront to his brittle pride... and it would behoove him if you either skip over this if you intend to put him down further, or you just listen and say something constructive...

It's always been like that... Marcelle has some friends he knows will always be there for him, but these people are few and far in between. They're not close with one another, either, which thus results in a lack of a so-called barkada. The ruddy state that he is subjected to does very little to make him feel better at all. He knows he's unwanted, and while he doesn't reall try to fit in any longer, he still realizes the pang of the insult being slapped into his face: that he's welcome. That he's uninivited. That he's not going to be able to go out there and say he belongs with this clique or that clique. Fine. They can have it all. Marcelle will not begrudge them that power to rub it into his face. But neither will he allow that to trivialize the "few and far in between" friendships he treasures and attempts to cultivate further.

It's just not right! Why must Marcelle always be the person that they look at in disdain? Why must it always be he who is held back? It's not like he's been trying to step over people's toes, nor has he tried to let his ego get in the way of the common good, at least especially not during the past three years of his college life. It's not right for him to still be relegated to the same status which he thought he managed to transcend by improving himself to go beyond what he used to be during his high school. It's been a nightmare for him to relive high school. Ask yourself: how painful would it be to be betrayed by one of your most esteemed friends during the Student Council elections? You see him suddenly run against you. You see him reliving some issues that you thought died down already (One of them involving a never-proven NC-17 kind of situation. Bah Gawd!). You see him riling up all your enemies to go against you. You see some teachers assuming that the only way to spice up the elections is by throwing in a third political party who may actually stand a chance against your opponents. You see your own ruddy classmates turning their backs on you. You see these classmates hate you even more than they already did, and even vote for the third party, which they had the gall to campaign for. You see your own party mates vote against you (Though there was a lot of internal dissention at the time, that was quite the shocker.)... Worst of all, you see the new council president take the award you coveted the most, the Communications Award, just because he's OBLIGED to make a speech every week. Oh, but it's not exactly his name that's in the school magazine, or the interschool newspapers, or perhaps even the... yearbook. R-ight! If Marcelle knew how to handle a grudge (And thank your lucky stars he doesn't.), he would've wanted to bury you alive to this very day. But it appears, much to his own chagrin, that Marcelle is above that sort of thing and considers you as one of his oldest friends.

Indeed, there's no question that the shadow of loneliness hangs over Marcelle's head. With THAT kind of precedent, what in Hades do you expect, right? And while he knows he deserves better, can you blame him for despising this sordid state of affairs? Can you deny him the right to be anguished over rejection: perhaps his greatest fear?

Marcelle didn't think so, too, either.

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