Monday, June 30, 2003

Just a quick post.

I'm back, done with book 5, and I have a lot of posting to do tomorrow night.

Friday, June 27, 2003

I had to separate these three posts simply because blogger refused to post that singular uber-long post I made for all three...

FRIDAY. 27 JUNE, 2003:

The Morning Rush was fun, but I sadly missed the succeeding hours because I had to go to school early. The Hot 10 was about the things you wouldn't want to hear in a cinema, and a lot of answers (That I will prolly recycle when I do my Top Five on it.) stood out:

- "*hick* Thish ish iyour captain ishpeaking... *hick*"
- "Will anyone with training in aviation or prior experience in flying a plane please step into the cockpit?"
- "Mama! Para!"
- "This is your captain speaking. Please repeat after me. 'Our Father, who art in heaven...'"
- Someone sings beside you: "It's jast a leetle crash... Not like I'll faint..."

I got only the first batch. Too bad. I ought to ask about the succeeding ones in the mailing list. Incidentally, some people have been ranting there about all the bad things people have been saying against Chico and Delle. Until I hear anything worse than what I've heard from Logan, I see no reason to be so angry. Of course, giving out their phone numbers is a different issue...

This is the reason I went to school early. I sat in on Sacha's CS 21A class, and I can't believe I passed up the chance to have her for a teacher. She's an amazing teacher (And not just because of certain obvious reasons... heh.), and she knows how to give good examples that clarify the lesson quite well. On top of that, while I wouldn't claim to be a computer expert (Hades knows I'm not.), I must say that I certainly liked the class itself. So most likely, even if I don't end up getting Sacha for CS 21A next semester, I wouldn't mind going for the class itself at all. My other class will prolly be Logic with Mr. Hermida, and I hope Diane is my classmate there, since she will need this class for her plans to take law studies in the future.

Anyways, back to Sacha. She can actually project her voice well enough (In spite of it being a bit small and high-pitched.) for the whole class, and she keeps things from being boring (Not because she took off her Matrix-type leather jacket, mind you. That had nothing to do with it! Er, I was tempted to call her Trinity... ::hides::) with all her insightful (Well, that's because I read a lot into it.) ideas, such as likening classes in Java programming to the world of Eidos. Yes, there are many chairs, but the ultimate idea of chairs is found in the Java class It was like watching a scene of the Matrix, I tell you, and her timing was perfect. We were just talking about the world of Eidos in Dr. Barbazza's class, so that'd help me think about it better. I intend to sit in every now and then on her class when I can, and as long as she doesn't mind.

I like my Theology class. While the class is Filipino, Ms. Magtibay isn't as ruthless as Dr. Barbazza when it comes to grammar, so no problem there. I have to worry about my immersion a bit, because as of now, only Elbert and I are on the same group, the mystery group, and the five absentees still bereft of a group have yet to show up. At the same time, we've been turning the discussion into comedy hour, what with our discussions about Dating Daan and bus "prophets" who wake you up in the morning to "evangelize" you.

My thesis is going to most likely be about Pro Bono advertising. Of course, I would've wanted something to do with RX or the WWE, but I guess I had to give way to Mr. Sev Sarmenta's suggestions, since there already is a general direction being followed there. Imo was nice enough to listen to some of my input as well, and it looks like we're making progress. And no, Mr. Sarmenta: just because Imo is my partner in the thesis and Chinese, does not mean that she and I are an item. ::rolls eyes::

History? Ah, it was boring. What else can I say about it? I'm just glad I had a lot of stuff to otherwise say...

I still have my work cut out for me, I tell you. Lots of things to do, and collecting pictures for my new blog layout. I still need Ertai, Kurt Angle, Voldemort, and Darth Vader.

And Abby said something about not doing the sequel to her film if it didn't involve her story with me... okay... okay... I didn't think THAT story was a very entertaining bit, though. ::chuckles::

See you jabronis next time.
THURSDAY. 26 JUNE, 2003:

Hmm... I must say that I've been enjoying Dr. Barbazza's class quite a deal. Yes, the language may be difficult to adjust to, but when you get down to it, it's actually easier to convey what you mean when you speak in the vernacular. I'm sincerely glad that I took a chance on this, and if I bleed hard enough, I prolly will still be able to get an A in spite of a failed quiz... heh.

(Again, since my readership is apparently bereft of people who can't speak Filipino, I don't see the need to translate this... But any grammatical errors / spelling errors I make, PLEASE CORRECT ME! I need the practice.)

Para kina Platon at Socrates, magkaiba ang katawan at ang kaluluwa. Kung ang sapatero na siyang gumagamit sa kanyang martilyo, pako, at iba pang mga gamit ay iba sa kanyang mga ginagamit, hindi malayong isipin na ang tao ay hindi ang kanyang katawan, dahil ginagamit niya lamang ito.

May magsasabing ang tao ay ang pagsasanib ng katawan at diwa, subalit kung ang diwa ang nangingibabaw dito, hindi ba't malabo nating isipin na totoo ito? Hindi sila magkapantay: dahil dito, ayon kay Platon hindi maaaring sabihin na ang katawan at kaluluwa na magkasama ay kung sino ang tao. Dahil sa ang dalawang posibilidad na ito ay hindi maaari, iisa na lamang ang natitira: na ang tao ay diwa.

Sa paniniwala ni Platon, mabuti ang kaluluwa, at masama ang katawan, dahil sa mundo ng Ideya o Eidos, ang mga purong porma ng lahat ng bagay ay nanatili at maaari lamang matanto ng ating mga kaluluwa. Nagiging balakid ang ating katawan sa ating pag-atim ng "pagbabalik" sa mundong ito.

Kung gayon naman, bakit hindi na lamang tayo magpakamatay, upang mapalaya natin ang ating diwa mula sa pagkakagapos sa kamunduhan ng ating katawan? Simple lang naman ang kadahilanan: ayon rin kay Platon, sa ating pang-araw-araw na buhay, kinakailangan nating mabuhay ng matiwasay upang buong galak tayong palalayain ng Poong Maykapal mula sa ating katawan. Sa madaling salita, hindi nakasalalay sa ating sarili ang ating mga buhay, kundi sa Panginoon. Ang kamatayan ay hindi isang parusa sa ganitong punto de bista, kundi isang gantimpala.

Marahil na malakas ang puntong ito na nilalahad nina Platon at Socrates, subalit hindi natin ito maaaring tanggapin na lamang ng walang pag-aatubili. Unang-una, kahit hindi man lang natin banggitin ang mga pamimilosopiya nina Kant o Heidegger o Marcel, malinaw na ang lahat ng mga gamit ay pawang mga ekstensyon ng ating mga katawan. Kung gayon, ang ating katawan, na ginagamit ng ating diwa, ay siya ring ekstensyon ng ating diwa. At masasabi ba natin ng may katiyakan na hindi isa na namang ekstensyon ang ating mga diwa? Nagkakaroon tayo ng isang regressus ad infinitum dahil dito, at hindi natin maaaring ipagkaila na hindi ito maaaring isantabi na lamang ng mga naniniwala kina Platon at Socrates.

Malinaw na patungong kamatayan ang Pilosopiya, subalit hindi natin maipagkakaila na may halaga pa rin ang katawan, na ang tanging paraan nating maiwasan ang regressus ad infinitum na ito ay ang pagsang-ayon kay Marcel na ang tao ay hindi mayroong katawan, o ang tao ay isang katawan; sa halip ang tao ay kinakatawan.

(That man does not have a body, nor is he merely a body; rather, he is embodied.)

*jaded* sat beside me while I was typing this yesterday. I must say that it's been great seeing her again, after all this time. She was reading some of my older posts that she couldn't access because she didn't have an LJ account, and it was nice to get some input from her, plus the fact that she still refuses to believe that my ecchi level, on a scale of 1 to 10, is only a 6. But I'm so chaste... ::gets hit by a dimensional hammer::

Grace and I met up again, as she had to give me my shoes for the wedding on Saturday... I'm sure she'll be very gorgeous come Saturday.

Maia, on the other hand, seemed to have some misgivings regarding the Education building in U.P., courtesy of her heightened senses and the urban legends about their campus. I've never believed in ghosts, but I'm more inclined to believe in diabolic apparitions, which are obviously scarier than ghosts, since they wouldn't hesitate at all to harm you.

I also got to speak to an old friend of mine, Diane. She's also in Ateneo, but I knew her from St. Paul's Pasig, when we had an interaction there back in High School. That was my second interaction in that school, so imagine how this wouldn't have been possible had I not been involved in the student council, I'd have never known her. Or my former best friend, Gladys (Out of sight, out of mind. It's hard having an uber-strict, uber-protective PSG person for a dad. Your every move is being watched...), for that matter. I haven't seen her nor heard from her in ages. Same case with Diane, though at least, I last saw Diane in Ateneo late last semester. It's interesting to note that she's the only Chinese Prospect® I have who smokes, yet I still have second thoughts about striking her off the list. That's weird, because Carla isn't in the list precisely because she smokes... ah, well. We had a lot of catching up to do. I guess she's doing fairly well and I was having a nice time speaking to her again. I was asking her about a lot of things, especially since she seems to have been fairly busy for the longest time. It was too bad I didn't get to invite her to any movie premiers, but well, at least she's doing fine. I hope to see her soon in school...
"I may have given you too much credit, and taken you to be more than you really are, but you are still a great person. I may not be an Atlas for you, but then, do you really need it?"


Wednesday was a fairly hectic day. What can I say? It's not easy zooming to DLSU all the way from Ateneo in an hour's time, even with all the LRT's and MRT's I had at my disposal yesterday... you might say it's been rather difficult for me to get there, but it was well worth it.

I had a rather rhadamanthine decision I needed to make to get there, because I wanted to cut my uber-boring History class, seeing how she does everything straight from the book and sounds completely like a drone when she talks about something supposedly interesting like an urban legend about Apolinario Mabini... apparently, I didn't miss much. That's what I get for picking a female teacher who looks like Garfield/Jose De Venecia...

When I got there, I ran into Maia, I-sis, Harle, and Ekai. I didn't really get into my element at the time, prolly because each of them had quite a lot to talk about... you might say that I was the odd man out, particularly more so with the fact that I was the only male there before Mac came along. Melina showed up a little later there, and of course, I must've missed a few people who were there but left before I got there...

It was fun squeezing in a bit of Harry Potter there, at the expense of forgetting to exchange ideas with Harle regarding my novel, which is suddenly brimming with a lot of possibilities now... everything from Chiara and Roscoe, to the alternate planes, to the planeswalkers and gatekeepers... maybe even a few more ideas I had, especially on how to get them together, and eliminating a character from the get-go.

I must've seemed like a bad conversationalist to I-Sis. I guess that can't be helped. I'm very jittery during first encounters with people, and I'm very cautious nowadays, lest I get too brash or the like. Usually takes me three or so encounters to loosen up, which is strange, considering this is officially only my second meeting with Maia, in spite of knowing her since late last year. Nonetheless, we were having a good time there.

Harle, in spite of the fact that I didn't get to tell her about my ideas, was nice enough to let me know how the flow of her story is going. It's got a good premise, but I did forget to tell her that Voldemort's goal, more than total domination (How positively kinky.) is actually immortality. Surely, a Worldkeeper can help along with that. It looks like Draco will have quite a twist to his own persona (I'm not divulging lest I end up giving out unwanted spoilers.), and so will Lucius, making him even more devious than we gave him credit for. I'll be at better liberty to talk about this influx of ideas once she gives me the go signal, but for now, I'll leave it at that. Nonetheless, I appreciate being told that I "think like Voldemort". With over 3,000 posts to date under that name, that is such a boon to hear.

When the crowd slowly thinned, you might say that the conversation went more and more personal. I-Sis, for one, was quizzing me on my first impression of her, and I did get the "strong" part, but apparently, I was dead wrong on the "silent" bit. Sure, she may seem to look the part of the damsel in distress, but with prior experience to the paragon of the look (Who I assume you already know by now... ::winks::), I know better than to assume something like that.

Finally, it was left to the last three people: Me, Mac, and Maia. (3M Pizza?) We ended up talking about lack of self-esteem, and yes, Maia, I still stand by the fact that you have more than your fair share of people who are insecure of you. Even Mac was telling her that he would've gone for her had he been single at the time (I'll take his word for it.). At the same time, for Maia to say she's not sexy is rather... funny. Maia, the great kidder, always willing to play up on the self-deprecating humor, even if she has nothing to put herself down with...

Of course, I will withhold what I said about Mac, lest yaoi insinuations begin to materialize all over again... heh. I was just joking around here and there, especially with the "leather and whips" bit, which seems to always get a great pop from anyone, regardless of whom I say it to. I've been racking up some great lines lately, and I await the opportunity to go, "Anak ka ng put... your head on my shoulder..." ::laughs maniacally, just like Yamazaki::

When we finally decided to get home after talking about how zany our teachers were and how much we loved/hated our High School, things got even more interesting. I'm glad I took the time out to take Maia back to the dorm, because U.P. at night is way too dangerous for someone alone.

Anyways, we had a lot of exchanges, and I'm glad that in spite of her matters of the heart, she still knows where she stands. It's hard not to have a great sense of respect for someone like that. I've been rather honest with her of how I stand with her, how I regard her now, and all that.

Well, we got to her dorm at around 10:30 in the evening or so, and she was locked out already, as her curfew is 10:00. I managed to survive the rain with my busted umbrella/bucket that flipped itself already, and thank goodness I didn't get lost in U.P. Anyways, there. It was a great Wednesday, and I was so glad that I managed to be given the chance to see all these people, whether for the first or second time (By my count, I have never seen any of them more than twice.). We had a lot of interesting conversations, and I guess I'm happy about that.
Added HaloScan comments here, while ShoutOuts are down.

I have a long post that seems to be quite problematic here. Refuses to post... heh.

Tuesday, June 24, 2003

This week is so hectic that I doubt I can post much until next Monday..

Just so you know, jabronis. :)

Monday, June 23, 2003

There's a bit more in my LJ about this... check it there if you can. :)

New link: Chiyo, aka Annabelle! She's one of the people I know from OB, and as I must've mentioned in the past, she looks a bit like Abby...

The past few days were such a blur. I must say that Friday, while of course was quite the turning point for my viewpoint regarding Grace's sister (Oh, but she's been getting even worse, I must say...), also proved to be a good day for me to test my new Chyna deck for RAW Deal. Apparently, the build for the deck wouldn't work against someone like Kane, but it can easily lock out a lot of other decks. Let's face it: I think this is the very reason they're trying to change the Chyna archetype already next expansion by making some cards that aren't too friendly towards Female Superstars. At the same time, Goldust seemed to have gotten quite a shaft as well... a certain new card makes his foil halfway useless, except for reducing his opponent's handsize further.

Saturday was more of the same, as we had a bigger tournament than the previous night's mini-tournament, what with twenty-five competitors. At the same time, Grace's sister was contemplating in keeping me from ever sleeping over at their house again (As if she owns the place...). Anyways, Mike Legaspi won that one, and it was a pretty good run for him with his nigh-unstoppable Brothers of Destruction deck. Overall, I had a pretty busy day there, and to add to all of it, Tsumenki was asking me to accompany her to a sort of date... I felt guilty because we ended at 8 in the evening, two hours beyond the time I would've met Tsumenki had it pushed through...

Sunday was probably the best day of that week, though. Grace came along with the family to watch The Hulk with us (I loved this film. I'm giving it a fairly good rating.), after a sumptuous lunch that consisted of cheese macaroni, fride chicken, and baked mussels in garlic, butter, and cheese. We also purchased Harry Potter 5, which, I must say, was keeping me in stitches (And I only just finished with chapter 6...) from the start. Some would probably be disappointed with this installment, paritcularly the kids who expected another lighthearted romp. From what I've gleaned in the first six chapters, this installment is taking a rather sinister turn that kids just might not actually be ready for yet. Well, Rowling did warn everyone who cared to listen that she never really considered her writing as "children's literature", not because she wasn't catering to them, but more likely because she wasn't trying to cater to them...

Today, the Morning Rush had a rather interesting topic, as they wanted to talk about the things that people hate but couldn't live without. Answers ranged from alarm clocks to F4 songs... and Chico was harping on quite a deal about impotent men as possessing "wet noodles", which promptly became his new nickname, courtesy of Delamar. Heh. Those two never run out of ways to... err... expose one another. In addition to that, only recently did I realize that in the new RX ad about the Monster going global, my voice was actually used for it! I'm the guy who goes "I'd like to greet my brother in Sydney, Austraila a happy birthday. He listens everyday!". Yep, I'm ego-tripping on that small bit again... heh.


Now, why don't we go into character?

It appears, after today's Theology class, that Marcelle has alwas been, and perhaps, will always be...

A bloody loner.

Okay, so maybe Marcelle is never at a loss for, say, conversation. Neither does he have a dearth of acquaintances and friends. But the fact remains that in the list of priorities among most of his so-called friends, so it seems, he ranks pretty damned low. So fine. Marcelle doesn't expect to be the center of attention. That's not the point, really. The point is, why does he have to always be the last resort when it comes to these people? It's not like he's some lazy lout who can't contribute anything worthwhile to the group. So now, he's taking a gamble with five people who've been absent from class, and hoping that'd make for a good group for him to join. Of course, he'd rather go with Elbert's group, but then, he needs to work on that, too. Fact is, Marcelle has never gotten beyond his High School trauma of being the odd man out, and if things don't change pace soon, he prolly never will. Yes, he sure as Hades can live without having a group to call his own, but then, it's merely a "level of survival that he is willing to put up with", as the Architect would put it. No, it's an affront to his brittle pride... and it would behoove him if you either skip over this if you intend to put him down further, or you just listen and say something constructive...

It's always been like that... Marcelle has some friends he knows will always be there for him, but these people are few and far in between. They're not close with one another, either, which thus results in a lack of a so-called barkada. The ruddy state that he is subjected to does very little to make him feel better at all. He knows he's unwanted, and while he doesn't reall try to fit in any longer, he still realizes the pang of the insult being slapped into his face: that he's welcome. That he's uninivited. That he's not going to be able to go out there and say he belongs with this clique or that clique. Fine. They can have it all. Marcelle will not begrudge them that power to rub it into his face. But neither will he allow that to trivialize the "few and far in between" friendships he treasures and attempts to cultivate further.

It's just not right! Why must Marcelle always be the person that they look at in disdain? Why must it always be he who is held back? It's not like he's been trying to step over people's toes, nor has he tried to let his ego get in the way of the common good, at least especially not during the past three years of his college life. It's not right for him to still be relegated to the same status which he thought he managed to transcend by improving himself to go beyond what he used to be during his high school. It's been a nightmare for him to relive high school. Ask yourself: how painful would it be to be betrayed by one of your most esteemed friends during the Student Council elections? You see him suddenly run against you. You see him reliving some issues that you thought died down already (One of them involving a never-proven NC-17 kind of situation. Bah Gawd!). You see him riling up all your enemies to go against you. You see some teachers assuming that the only way to spice up the elections is by throwing in a third political party who may actually stand a chance against your opponents. You see your own ruddy classmates turning their backs on you. You see these classmates hate you even more than they already did, and even vote for the third party, which they had the gall to campaign for. You see your own party mates vote against you (Though there was a lot of internal dissention at the time, that was quite the shocker.)... Worst of all, you see the new council president take the award you coveted the most, the Communications Award, just because he's OBLIGED to make a speech every week. Oh, but it's not exactly his name that's in the school magazine, or the interschool newspapers, or perhaps even the... yearbook. R-ight! If Marcelle knew how to handle a grudge (And thank your lucky stars he doesn't.), he would've wanted to bury you alive to this very day. But it appears, much to his own chagrin, that Marcelle is above that sort of thing and considers you as one of his oldest friends.

Indeed, there's no question that the shadow of loneliness hangs over Marcelle's head. With THAT kind of precedent, what in Hades do you expect, right? And while he knows he deserves better, can you blame him for despising this sordid state of affairs? Can you deny him the right to be anguished over rejection: perhaps his greatest fear?

Marcelle didn't think so, too, either.

Friday, June 20, 2003

Just a little bit of an update...

- Apparently, the refund for my CS 21 class will be in the form of a check, addressed to my mom. I guess I'm not going to be in the money, after all. Heh.

- Harry Potter: The Order Of The Phoenix is coming out tomorrow. My aunt's getting a copy, so hopefully, I'll be reading it by next week. Let's see if I'm capable of writing book reviews...

- I will probably skip that thesis class I was supposed to be having on Saturday. It's an orientation assembly, and since I'll be too tired after running a RAW Deal tournament, I think I'd rather use that time to sleep instead.

- Last night's episode of Buffy was fun. Musicals are always interesting. No, I'm not a Buffy fan...

- Today's Morning Rush Hot Ten was hilarious. It was about the surefire ways to get a good grade. Too bad I forgot most of it, but the answers were really interesting...

That's all, jabronis. I'm a bit drained right now to write a long piece... rest assured I'll have at least one next week.

Thursday, June 19, 2003

I decided to put the Top Five on hold indefinitely because I really want to see what I can do about this rather drab layout I'm still saddled with up to now. I've been rather distressed lately with all the work I had to do, but I must say that I'm a lot happier at this point because it seems to me that while I am indeed stuck with Dr. Barbazza and his Filipino class, there's no reason for me to really resent that. Getting Mr. Hermida would've been such a boon to me, but alack and alas, that no longer seems to be a possibility. Shucks. I guess I have to bleed for this subject again...

Worse, I had to pay for the Philosophy book TWICE. I was unfortunate enough to actually lose my book... ergghh. My only compensation is that I'm getting a refund of my CS Lab fee, since I took a film class in its stead. Also, I got a free cut for our thesis subject...

I have to get the cassette back soon, Mel. Would next week be fine? :)

Maia, is it all right to drop by UP to see you tomorrow, or are you already back home?

I was talking a bit with Rob, since he has a RAW Deal tournament this Saturday. I'm running it, of course. Anyways, Kendra came along, and let's just say that since we never really talked and resolved everything, when she started going on her holier-than-thou tirade about where I got my cellular phone, I was visibly miffed, and I used some sarcasm to lash back at her in a humorous manner. Well, whatever, then. Though we're not on bad terms, you can tell we're rather... icy.

I have a rather public vituperation, though... I ABSOBLOODYLUTELY DESPISE GRACE'S SISTER! She had the audacity to not answer me on call wait, then when she finally decides to, I was on the cellular phone. Bah Gawd, she then lashes out at me that if I have something important to tell Grace, I should just text her. Right. If I were still on the cellphone during that second call, you mean to tell me I was going to waste my eight bucks/allocated line minutes to listen to you whine about YOUR problems with YOUR sister, which YOU, YOU ruddy excuse for a sister, actually caused? Codswallop, you little roody-pooh! Go to Hades, jabroni. You almost turned me and Grace against each other, when all this time, it really was YOU to blame. I hope you go back to States soon, you get married there, AND YOU FREAKING STAY THERE, YOU BASTICH. Paying the bill for the ruddy phone does not give you the license to wail at anyone else who wants to use it or call it. Hog it if you want, but freaking shaddup already.

Thank your lucky stars Grace is your sister, jabroni. Otherwise, the Phenom's Fury® will be knocking upon your door.

Sorry to everyone else. I'll add something more positive when I think about it, jabronis... oh, it's true! It's true!

Wednesday, June 18, 2003

Isn't it strange when something seems to be missing? Of course, the Ministry would know far better...

He looks at her with old, knowing eyes. After all these years, very little has changed about her. He remembers how he used to feel for her. He remembers what they went through with one another, and he looks at the frayed, waning torch in his hands. He smiles, for he knows without her, so many things would have never been possible for him. She smiles back at him, then turns away. But this time, he smiles in return.

They walk to each other and come together in an embrace completely bereft of passion. A strange union that is comprised of nothing more than pure friendship and mutual respect. All these years have been spent, growing with one another, being better human beings in the process. For that, and so much more, the both of them are grateful.

And so they turn to look into each other's eyes again. He has a very quiet air about him. But there's something remarkably different within him. A twinge of happiness, perhaps, that his state is far better than it was years ago? She is likewise happy. She has always been happy. And he tries to speak, and surprisingly, the words come out of his mouth quite easily this time. It's as though everything that has been weighing down on his chest just disappeared in an instant. But he knows this hasn't happened only now.

Indeed, he no longer loves her. For he loves someone else. And more so indeed, she NEVER loved him. He was always the weird guy. The quirky kid good for a laugh, but never worthy of ever being taken seriously. Perhaps shades of that perception still cloud her vision. But she's listening to him right now. And she realizes that she has been a remarkable standard to him, in some respects. His success is hinged on how it approximates hers. He finds some degree of sorrow in knowing that what is his prowess is now being surpassed by her. But then, it's merely a harmless machinery of coping. And she recognizes it. She herself ends up asking him what is so wrong with that. The answer: nothing.

And so she looks again, with the eyes that remind him why he once loved her so truly in the first place. The very same eyes that brimmed with tears the last time he hurt her. The same eyes that gleamed when they both realized how valuable their friendship truly is, than to let a little trivial thing like love get in the way. And it was her turn to speak. And what she had to say was, by far, the most beautiful thing he has ever heard her say to him in his life.

And he looks at the frayed, jaded torch in his hands. To his surprise, it gleams brightly as though it were never ignited. He marvels and awes at the sight- and quickly quenches the flames into the ocean, lest the smoke gets in his eyes. He is through with carrying this torch. In fact, he has been through with it a long time ago, but it is time he made it clear for all to see.

And so they walk off in different directions, each wearing a smile. A genuine smile. For something so painful has died, but in its wake, something far better is beginning. Something that is worth everything that the both of them have gone through. In spite of that, their eyes brim with tears. One has loved the other. The other never did. But now, they are truly free to choose what they wish to be for the other. And in the end, neither chose to love the other. And in the end, both have chosen the right path.

Up for addendum... or I'll put it in another post. Depends, really.

Anyways, movies I have yet to review: X-Men 2, So Close, and the Animatrix. I think that covers it. I'll see if I can type a review later... if not, next week.

I had an interesting day yesterday. Got the belts I requested for (Well, most of them.), and I even had a lot of fun lately with talking to my friends. I have to say... I owe one of them a lot for the very inspiring conversation... talk about it later, I guess. :)

To the people I met last Wednesday: Hi, Mac, Harle, and Mel! Good day to all of you... :)


- Looks like I'm stuck with Dr. Barbazza. But otherwise, my classes on Mondays and Wednesdays end at 12:30, so that's so much better for me! :) I have a lot of free time afterwards!

- Thanx to Elbert for the compliments about my movie reviews. Next time a movie comes out and I get to watch it, I'll make sure to send a review to the papers... maybe I'd get published! :) Now, the trick for me is to forget you said that, so since the idea doesn't go to my head, I don't become conscious that I can actually write, and I just let it flow freely... :)

Monday, June 16, 2003

There's a slightly different version of this for my LJ friends...

I'm finally back from a short vacation around the Subic area, and you might say I'm a bit better but at the same time, still a little out of sorts. Let me just recount what's been happening while I was on that short vacation...

We got to leave Manila around eight or so in the morning. We were driving all the way there, fully packed, and everything was pretty much in place. Surprisingly, my stepdad wasn't being the prick that he usually was... and he was being rather civil and at times even nice to me throughout this past weekend... but I'm still keeping my guard up. No question about it. Nonetheless, when we got to the Anne Roque resort and began to mingle with the rest of my mother's immediate family, we really started to get things jumping... heh. Firstly, after managing to settle down, we discovered a Videoke machine. But of course, we wouldn't just open it up immediately. But we had plans for later. The billiards table proved to be the perfect way to get us started, whilst we tried to digest a sumptuous lunch that was prepared for us by the staff. I was naturally bad at it, so me, Francis, and Dondon (My brother and my stepbrother) left Caren (My stepsister) to go play some basketball instead. It seemed to be Dondon't lucky day. He was not only successful at billiards, he was likewise succesful at basketball. I was getting too tired to care how rusty I was getting...

Abby texted me around this day that she's going to have an article published in Young Star. Good for her.

Afterwards, we finally went for the Videoke. While I will claim to be a great singer (So sue me. The Kurt Angle side of me is suposed to be arrogant...), do listen to my other faces who will tell you that I just have a lot of guts. I went for a few songs, but as per usual, "Gaya ng Dati" was the first song I went for. It was pretty much second nature, I supose. I then followed that up with "Di na Natutuo" and APO Hiking Society's "When I Met You". I scored an 82, a 73, and an 84 respectively, in spite of my hitting the higher notes for the former two songs. That's odd... why am I getting such bad scores? Heh. Right...

Anyways, I was a bit depressed there, for reasons I shan't disclose. But no, it had nothing to do with my scores.

Anyways, we then went night swimming. I actually jumped off the diving board quite a few times... the pool was deep, and I only know basic swimming, so I had to make sure I didn't TRY (Operative word.) to flip or tumble while I was at it. So yes: landing feetfirst into the pool was the order of the night. We also had water basketball, which again, Dondon won, but a one-on-one encounter snapped his winning streak. We also had a three-storey high slide that was pretty difficult to climb... they didn't bother making a path for swimmers to climb it barefooted, so you'd end up stepping on a lot of rocks, and you'd even have to dodge some Thorny plants (Letter T in bold lest you miss it...) on the way up. But the sheer rush when you go off the slide is worth it all...

Needless to say, after all that, I got a tan from chlorine (Thank goodness the tan's gone...), as well as a bunch of shallow cuts... my body's still hurting all over, I tell you. I'm not up to a huge workout...

Second day, which was my grandfather's 72nd birthday, was the only time we went to Subic. We didn't get to go to Ocean Adventure, unfortunately. We did little more than eat at the steakhouse there. Honestly, I'm not too fond of steaks, nowadays. You've tasted one, you've tasted them all. More videoke when we got back, but that was after redeeming myself at billiards and reliving my slightly more athletic days (Rriiigghhhtt.) at table tennis. I tried "Be My Lady" and "Ikaw Ang Lahat Sa Akin" in addition to my repertoire this time... I got an 88 on the second one, and my second try at "Gaya ng Dati" hit an 89. Some other songs I tried: "Leader of the Band" and "Banyo Queen" (I was forced to do the latter one.).

The next day, they finally made a contest out of the videoke thing... I only got an 82 for "Di Na Natuto" (Better than the 73, right? :) ), but then, we were supposed to have only one round. I wasn't even in the top three... I still one a special prize for my being gutsy and all with singing and so forth, plus, my last try at "Gaya ng Dati" hit a 95... Even my go at "Bakit Ngayon Ka Lang?" got an 87... and best of all, the highest mark on the machine is a 95, so... ah, well.

After the long drive home and all the jostling with my grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins, we finally got home. Nothing much from that point, except I started preparing to go to my aunt's house, where I'll be staying during the weekdays. Better than dorming, I guess. I got there, and all was fine, I suppose...

Now, yesterday, I had a few discoveries. First, my class in Theology was actually in Filipino. I think that's fine. Second, I have a fairly young teacher for CS, but she's not as cute as a certain other CS teacher I know. Anyways, I had to drop her because I need to free up my Mondays and Wednesdays. It was funny, because when I went to the department and I saw Sacha (With a new haircut to boot...), she thought she was my teacher, and was about ready to sign my load revision sheet. I told her that I had Ms. Amarra as a teacher, and then Sacha (Or should I start calling her Madame Chua? :laughs:) says that I'm a Comm student, and Ms. Amarra thinks I'm leaving the class because it's too technical for me. She signs the form, then asks me...

"Why did you consider taking CS in the first place?"

As soon as Sach turned her back, I pointed at her, and Ms. Amarra chuckled. Of course, if Sach didn't notice me pointing in her direction yesterday, she'd end up reading this, anyways, and she'd know... :chuckles: but I think she saw me already there.

Needless to say, I'm not yet ready to take the red pill...

I thought I had a 2:30 class, so when I showed at the appropriate room, I saw Mr. Bulaong. Funny... two mistakes here. First, the class I was supposed to go to was a 1:30 class. Second, The class I was supposed to wasn't my actual class, either. Otherwise, it would've been in Filipino. So Mr. Bulaong thought I took him again, and everyone outside was laughing their heads off... anyways, that was funny.

Still, I hope I can get out of Dr. Barbazza. We had him today, and while he's a little tougher than Mr. Bulaong, and while I know I can handle him (Soon as I adjust to Filipino), I'd rather go for Mr. Hermida, especially since, I plan to fill that 10:30 class with something else. The rest of my teachers seem to be just fine and manageable. I hope I can fix my Comm electives, though.

Ah, well. See you next time! I got class!


I met HER again today. Apparently, she's still avoiding me like the plague. It's gotten to a point that I just take note but don't really care anymore... I know I don't deserve the hades she's TRYING to put me through, so she may as well shove it down her throat for all I care.

Goodbye, Chinese Prospect ® number one. Time to move up somebody else...

Thursday, June 12, 2003

Brad Turvey is back with the Morning Rush. Hooray for all his fans?

What an interesting day yesterday was, indeed.

Out of a complete whim, I decided to take my chances and show up in La Salle to meet Mel. Why? I think the better question is: Why not? Coming from my house, which was near Shaw Boulevard, I made it in record time and got to La Salle in under an hour. Of course, since I didn't really know how Mel looks like (One picture isn't enough...), I was forced to call her, and as soon as I saw someone walking around, talking into a cellular phone, I knew I found her. I was actually relieved to see only three people there that day. Usually, those Wednesday gatherings are made up of at least six people, and Hades knows I'd be out of place if I walked into something like that...

Anyways, I met her, Harle (Link not provided due to her problems with Blogger), and Mac. Now, I know Harle through OB, so only Mac would qualify as a "total" stranger to me... I was carrying an umbrella, and they asked me why I was carrying one, in spite of the sun...

Marcelle: Because it's too hot.

Melina: Typical Atenean.

Now what did she mean by that? :laughs:

Our topics covered a lot of ground, and I must say that I was talking to three intelligent people yesterday. Quite a break from a certain former co-worker of mine who sort of tickles my fancy...

We were taling about video games and loves lost. We were talking about Philosophy and Chico and Delamar. Secrets were divulged, but more questions remain to be asked. So much spoken, so much still left unsaid. And it's sad that I won't be able to go there again, seeing how my classes during Wednesdays end at 3:30. But then, that moment was an optimal moment, and I highly doubt it can be easily equaled, much less surpassed. Right now, I feel a little like Alice tumbling down the rabbit hole. Rather confused. Rather dumbstruck. For I know where I stand, yet sometimes, I must learn to walk away. It's indeed good to know these people, as they seem to have relived in me a perspective in life that I sorely needed: the realm of nearly infinite possibilities. The power to achieve a self-determination that I am only recently discovering within my psyche.

Indeed, the matrix has me.

Speaking of that, here's a website I should've linked to ages ago... The Matrix Essays. If you love the Matrix, and if you want to know more, just click the link. I hope to write for it soon...

I'm just grateful I managed to stay dignified throughout the whole affair. Hades knows how many opportunities to make a good impression on someone I have completely botched. Er, well... I would LIKE to think that I managed to stay dignified throughout the whole affair. Although I did lose an easy game of Marvel vs. Capcom 2 with Mac watching... but I guess that's the least of my worries. I know I have a long way to get to know the seeming new wave of acquaintances/friends (Thanks to Sach, I'm not as liberal with the label "friend" any longer...) I have encountered this past summer... and most of them aren't even online. Ah, well. That's the way it goes, I suppose... but I'm still rather happy that I had the chance to meet up with these wonderful people... no question about it.

Afterwards, I went home after playing a few more games at UM (Nice arcade!). You might say I'm being as shallow as I possibly can, in hopes that I can minimize that when I take on Barbazza this sem... I'm really in need of psyching up myself for that, you see... Expect to read transcripts of our lessons here, more than I did with Mr. Bulaong last semester. I still have yet to know if Ma'am Sining or Mr. Jimmy P. have read this blog, all the same... and then, there's the topic of a team tournament for KOF 2002 by PinoyGamerz, which I really hope I can join... I think I can do well enough this time, and I'd behoove myself to use Takuma in this tournament...

Grace and I then met up at my house to watch The Animatrix. Yes, expect a review next week, at the earliest. I'll tell you one thing: it's great, but the animation left me wanting. We also watched my fifteen seconds of fame on television... pretty boring segment, actually. It wasn't funny at all.

Today, nothing much, really. My brothers are really into Monster Rancher 2, so that's actually a boon to me. Anyways, we've been making a lot of progress with our little monsters... heh.

Here's a little something that seems to fit me to a T right now...

You're A God
by: Vertical Horizon

I've got to be honest
I think you know
We're covered in lies and that's OK
There's somewhere beyond this I know
But I hope I can find the words to say

Never again no
No never again

'Cause you're a god
And I am not
And I just thought
That you would know
You're a god
And I am not
And I just thought
I'd let you go

But I've been unable
To put you down
I'm still learning things I ought to know by now
It's under the table so
I need something more to show somehow

Never again no
No never again


I've got to be honest
I think you know
We're covered in lies and that's OK
There's somewhere beyond this I know
But I hope I can find the words to say
Never again no
No never again


Tuesday, June 10, 2003

Just another short update, but wait until tomorrow for an eyeful... better yet, wait for next week. When classes begin, I'm sure to have better updates.

- Okay, I got to RX today, and I saw Carla... more on that next time.

- I lent my biological dad a thousand bucks. For what? I've no idea yet.

- I'm losing my voice.

- Abby had to take a pregnancy test. That's funny because both of us are sure that a pregnancy test is one of the last things she would ever have to take before being married... Heh.

- I finished Blood Omen already. Not bad at all.

- My MVP Valentine started today. Somebody tell me if it's any good, please.

- I saw So Close already. Liked it, but don't expect an uber high grade for it...

- How do you do the ampersands for umlauts? Y'know, that u or a or e with two dots on top?

- I have a lot more to say, but they'll have to wait. That includes the top five.


- Mel, thanx for the short SMS conversation. You know why I can't carry on with that, I suppose, as my last bill was amore than a hundred bucks over the regular rate. Just let me know about it, if ever.

- I'm glad *jaded* seems to have worked out her problems with her boyfriend. Err, ex boyfriend. It's about time they worked things out.

- I might hold onto Barbazza, if only for me to experience taking up Philosophy in Filipino. It's usually something Ateneans are proud of, and what a shame if I never get to give it a try.

Saturday, June 07, 2003

This schoolyear, I will be dorming with my Aunt again, instead of the old dorm. The advantages: telephone line, TV, computer, DVD player. The disadvantage: curfew.

Hmm... I wonder if it's all worth it?

And I went on air with Chico and Delle today. Pretty interesting, actually, as I finally got to thank them better for the working experience. Too bad my recording was pretty filled with static... Erggh...

Dang, this is short.

Friday, June 06, 2003

Top five is due next week...

Yesterday was extremely interesting... you might say that my fifteen seconds of fame are looming over me, except that I don't see any reason to be overtly beaming over it... heh.

Expect to see my mug on channel 7 one of these next few Wednesdays on Nuts Entertainment, as I seem to have been victimized by a gag that I still don't get... I was asked to identify some historical figures like Ramon Magsaysay, and then Mickey Mouse, and then Spider-Man. I still don't know what they intend to do with that footage, but well, serves me right for walking along FEU with Grace and not paying attention to the cameras in front of us. I must've been too engrossed with Grace... anyways, it wasn't the most pleasant of experiences, as I was taken aback with Diego looking over my shoulder, interestingly enough. You know who Diego is, right? Ang pambansang bading?

I finally got to enroll, and since I didn't get Sacha, I'll be load revving out of my CS 21 class. All my other classes were decent. I got a good Theology professor by pure blind luck, and I have a good Philosophy professor, although he'll be teaching in Filipino, which happens to be my problem. I'm not bad at Filipino, but I think I'm better at English, nonetheless. Mr. Bulaong was recommending him, and he told me I'd do well with the guy, but I still don't know. I might load rev out of this subject too, if it becomes problematic for me... I think I got a new prof for History, though. I haven't heard any comments about her, and I just hope I can manage, since I need a good set of grades this semester. Basically, I have classes until 4:30 every T-TH (Though T or Th may end up being up to 7:30 once I get out of CS 21.), and I'm done with classes by 2:30 every M-W-F. Lots of time for me after that, but I still don't see myself meeting some people I've always wanted to meet.

My schedule seems to fit Radio 1 in quite nicely. Let's hope I do get the chance to join. I need to work on my voice, though. I don't feel as though I'm radio-friendly enough, until I lose the nasal tone that doesn't register too well on microphones.

There's a fashion show tonight at the Megastrip, and I'll be heading there in a while. If you're in the area, do give it a whirl. :)

And, Sacha... thanx. You know what for, I presume. :)

Sorry if this is rather short. I'll see you jabronis next time.

Wednesday, June 04, 2003

Two days ago, I met up with *jaded*, one of her friends, and Grace. We had a lot of fun together as we went to Megamall and Podium. I ended up showing a bit of Dance Maniax, and it was pretty fun there. Ah, well. Nonetheless, things were going pretty well. Grace and I managed to patch things up after our problems last Saturday, and I suppose I’m okay with that. My work was pretty much loaded, since I was nearing the end of my tenure in RX. I had a rash of bad timing with Noey, as it looks like I will have to wait a while before I get to really talk to her. No problem there. It was just funny for me to realize how bad I am with first impressions…

I also did something really nice yesterday, but… err… let’s just hope the one whom I ministered to liked it. I never did get any feedback. I haven’t been talking to most of my friends lately, since I’ve been rather busy. Still, I’m going to be able to stay in touch with them. Soon enough.

Yesterday, on the other hand, was my last day of work, and amid all the picture-taking and other “festivities”, I felt a pang of sadness, seeing them all there. I don’t know what else to do right now. I’m hitting a plateau in life, and I don’t really have much to speak about at all. I’m at a loss for words, and I’m still walking around wounded for no apparent reason. I wish I could pinpoint it, then maybe I’d be a little better off already. I had a lot of happy times yesterday, though. Fran even treated me to a Caramel Cream Frappe, as I’ve been getting her food for the past month. I was even acknowledged on air, further feeding my mild degree of egotism. Heh.

In spite of all this, I would have to say that I really loved working for RX. I guess the working environment was really great, and having two cute Chinese co-workers couldn’t hurt. :laughs: I don’t know what else to say… I feel like I’m just drifting right now, completely clueless. A little bit sad, but still generally happy. Lots of my co-workers have been letting me enjoy my last day. Even my evaluation turned out well, as I was given a good flurry of positive comments. I even got to talk a bit with ma’am Lea, as we went to SM Centerpoint together before I met up with Grace. Ah, yes. I guess that last chance was our best time to bond with one another, and I’m glad I took the chance to.

Registration is tomorrow. I hope I get the classes I wanted, especially CS 21…

At least there’s something for me to be happy about. Sir Louie asked me to try out for Radio 1, and you just know I’m going to do that. I guess there’s no reason for me not to give it a whirl already. Moreover, I’m making some progress in my article for the Matrix Essays. I just need to ask a friend for a hard copy of the Luijpen article. Remind me to make a permanent link of that site in the future. I love the site, and I sure want to finish that Neo vs. Smith article soon enough…

And… er… Melchoir, hang in there, okay? See you jabronis next time!

Tuesday, June 03, 2003

Don't mind the last part... it's just a draft I have to save.

Whoop-dee-doo. Here’s my review of Phone Booth. Obviously, SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Phone Booth:

The prequel to Ford’s “Live In It To Win It” challenge…

Collin Farell stars as Stu in one of most ingenious films I’ve ever seen. Phone Booth is almost a one-act movie that depicts a battle of minds between a sniper on the roof and his hapless prey inside a phone booth. One wrong move and it’s over for Stu. And he knows it. For a nerve-wracking hour or so, the spotlight is trained on Stu as he goes through Hades and back, completely at the mercy of an invisible assailant who seems to be one step ahead of everyone. He knows everything there is to know about Stu- his lifestyle, his pretenses, and how he’s been trying to cheat on his wife. Like some twisted vigilante, he wants Stu to repent for his sins. In front of live national television.

Stu is taken aback as he tries to make heads and tails of what’s going on. He can’t believe that of all people to be pinpointed, it had to be him. It’s not like he was a hardened criminal who did someone in. In fact, the only “crime” he committed was lying. He never cheated on his wife. He only tried to, but the opportunity never presented itself. In spite of all that, the horror is still as real as ever: and he has to figure out a way out, while nobody seems to understand the nature of the situation he is trapped in, as some believe he is a killer, while others think he’s just a nutcase.

In what he thought was a stroke of genius, he manages to find a way to let the police find out about the situation he is trapped in. And as he thinks he finally found a way out, and his assailant is dead, he realizes that his momentous change of heart will have to last… lest he hears from his would-be killer again, who has tricked everyone into believing the nightmare is over.

This is one of the most gripping thrillers I have seen to date, simply because it’s hard to imagine how a movie as great as this could be pulled off in a single location without disenchanting the audience. The script was sheer genius, and Collin Farell was amazing as he delivered a very compelling performance that required him to go through a range of emotions in one felling swoop. There’s no doubt that Collin’s intense performance was worthy of some degree of acclaim, and Kiefer Sutherland as the sniper proved to be every bit the menacing and cunning villain that he appeared to be from the start. I honestly am hard-pressed to find any problems with this film, because there were very few things they did wrong with this movie.

There’s no question that this film really has the power to go and keep you glued to your seat. In spite of that, the ending seemed rather obvious at the end because to see the pizza guy as the assailant simply didn’t make sense. It got rather predictable at the end, but I still couldn’t think up a single better ending for the film, regardless. This film comes pretty close to the perfect mark, and the only reason it falls is because of the lack of motivation to target Stu. Sure, he was “evil”, but the point is clear: why him? It just seemed like a random act of terror, and the lack of knowledge about Sutherland’s character proved to be problematic. Moreover, this film still doesn’t have the X-Factor that makes you just go and sing the movie’s praises to everyone you come across. It doesn’t seem to have “must see” written all over it. It’s a little lackluster in that department, but the thing is, X-Factor is something you can’t just manufacture, so we can’t really murder the rating on that basis.

Marcelle’s Rating: B+/A-

A disclaimer: As a Communications student, I merely have a fair bit of interest in Philosophy. I would like to point out that as someone who is not as well-versed in Philosophy as most of the people in this site happen to be, I can only offer a few insights and speculations on what proves to be my favorite Philosophical topic: Aletheia, or unconcealment.

Neo versus Smith: The One versus The Many
(Main basis: The Phenomenology of Knowledge, by William Luijpen)

Two of the greatest questions of Philosophy talks about the very nature of truth. Is Truth absolute? Is truth relative? Two schools of thought have always been at odds with one another on this: those who believe in Truth as The One, and those who believe that there are many truths in varying degrees. Both camps have their merits, but both camps also have their flaws. For one, the belief in Truth as The One has given rise to ethnocentrism, and the belief of the Catholic Church in their Truth as the absolute has led to the Inquisition. On the other hand, those who adhere to many truths have promoted chaos in relativism, where all are entitled to their opinion, and no standard can possibly be established.

In Matrix Reloaded, this age-old debate is enacted in living color by The Burly Brawl, Neo’s confrontation with a hundred former Agent Smiths.

Monday, June 02, 2003

I'm being a good gargoyle right now... But to be a PERFECTLY good gargoyle, I must stay quiet and remain steadfast... :laughs:

Anyways, this is just a short post. And I do mean short. I'm just starting on Blood Omen and Clock Tower II. Two games I just wanted to play out of a whim... heh.

I'm also trying to write an essay for THIS site. Let's see what I can do.

The KOF 2K2 tourney was nothing short of amazing... I want to take some Takuma lessons from the guy who made it to the finals...

I saw Phone Booth and Back To The Future yesterday. I was pretty amazed with the former, and I think I'm going to score it rather generously when I get down to reviewing it, which is prolly before this week ends. Obviously, there's no need to review the latter film. :)

I'll add stuff here when they come to mind. For now, you're listening to the Morning Rush with Chico and Delamar... oh, I'm sorry. I got carried away. ;)