I think this song really hits home right now... just a lot of things that have been going on in my life lately that really tells me that I'm such a great pretender...
by Queen
Oh yes I'm the great pretender (ooh ooh)
Pretending I'm doing well (ooh ooh)
My need is such I pretend too much
I'm lonely but no one can tell
Oh yes I'm the great pretender (ooh ooh)
Adrift in a world of my own (ooh ooh)
I play the game but to my real shame
You've left me to dream all alone
Too real is this feeling of make believe
Too real when I feel what my heart can't conceal
Ooh Ooh yes I'm the great pretender (ooh ooh)
Just laughing and gay like a clown (ooh ooh)
I seem to be what I'm not (you see)
I'm wearing my heart like a crown
Pretending that you're still around
Yeah ooh hoo
Too real when I feel what my heart can't conceal
Oh yes I'm the great pretender
Just laughing and gay like a clown (ooh ooh)
I seem to be what I'm not you see
I'm wearing my heart like a crown
Pretending that you're
Pretending that you're still around
.:A Quick Note:.
To all my YM friends who are reading this:
Aside from voldemort02, you can also add my other YM ID, kel_891. That way, I can still be reached even while I'm at work in WAVE, as I tend to use that ID when I'm in WAVE instead of voldemort02, so I can communicate with the listeners... heh.
I'm currently organizing my Unsent Series® under my memories, though. I can't find all of them, unfortunately, as they're snuck in between other posts. I have to go search manually... heh.
.:Merry Chaos:.
Yesterday, I found myself in the middle of my third conversation with Clair, when I ran into Sacha and Carl on Yahoo Messenger. There was talk about a conspiracy in getting Clair a boyfriend going on between the two of them, apparently. I was mistaken in thinking Sach was talking with Clair about it, though, so when I realized it was Carl, and I realized everyone among the four of us is in one way or another getting around to chatting with everyone else, Sacha suggested I started a conference.
Soon enough, the conference happened, and the fun started. We were just talking about random topics like the chocolate buffet in Manila Peninsula that everyone missed, as well as the whole deal with Clair. Soon enough, more random topics flew out when I invited Peppy, who was battling with code. A few moments afterwards, I think Sacha invited Diane and Ranulf into the fray, which made for a merry gathering of sorts. It was a crazy hurly-burly group, really.
That was a wacky chat session, to say the least.
.:The Most Interesting Levinas Class...:.
Add Emmanuel Levinas’ talks about the Other and the Feminine, add three bottles of wine, and you get the most interesting three hours I’ve ever had with Dr. Leo Garcia and company.
First of all, the class was pretty much hinging on the fact that we met up in the Dela Costa conference room instead of our regular classroom, and it was clear that on the eve of the feast of St. Thomas Aquinas, Doc Leo was in a generous mood. So there we were, talking about the Feminine, and why the Feminine should not be taken literally as “the female”, but rather a derivation of characteristics that were initially taken to be from the female, such as gentleness and tenderness, and making the Other precisely that: the feminine.
The Self is the Masculine: the virile, the egocentric, and it’s up to the Self to channel the Feminine from within as well. In channeling the Feminine from within, we give ourselves the categorical imperative to recognize the Other. We do not oblige ourselves in hopes of having our efforts reciprocated, but do it with due respect to the Other.
After the first half of our discussion, we had a break where we had food and wine. I was seated beside Cecille Lao, ;) and it was interesting how the group of four that got formed in that class, myself, Adrian, TJ, and Ray, all threw around inside jokes throughout the discussion to get the class going. At first, the more uptight members of the class were disoriented, but soon enough, everyone lightened up at all the input we’ve been having. From the oyster aphrodisiac story leveled in Ray’s direction, to the fact that all those lines directed to Cecille were also a riot (Malay mo, may gusto sa iyo yung Other na katabi mo?), to the fact that Doc Leo started sharing his life story, it was all great.
Doc Leo was a revelation, really. He pretty much proved why Fr. Ferriols was a legend in his own right, from doing all the things he did to get Doc Leo into teaching, and Dr. Garcia’s story of how he got into ADMU was more providential than serendipitous, in my opinion. It was amazing how his story went, and how his story proved that the Other was really full of surprises.
Soon enough, TJ and I vituperated about the problem we have with people who act like the council in “Life of Brian”. The type who talk all day long about doing something, yet never do. I then do an impression of a certain professor, and everyone reacts and wants to find out who it is. People ask if the prof was a “lay person”, or was a “post-modernist”, and so forth, but I pretty much kept mum on the whole deal. In any case, the issue was that he kept on harshly critiquing the government, yet he seemed to be doing nothing about it. While I was talking about it. Dr. Garcia sounded scandalized at the blind item… heh.
And then later on, I talked about Magic 8-Balling, and the class heartily agreed how guilty most of us can be of that. Dr. Garcia was again adding fuel to the fire when he exclaimed “Oh! She!”, when I said that a friend of mine really depressed me when “she” 8-Balled me. It was amusing, really.
TJ then steered the topic to how Immersions became such a hypocritical approach at mental m*********n, considering how people just do it, think their obligation has been fulfilled, then go back to their daily lives. The whole Ateneo system, he lamented, seemed to be a certain kind of smugness in being a “man for Others”. Such that we seem to think so highly of ourselves for fulfilling our “white man’s burden” for the “poor, hopeless rejects of society”. It’s insulting to all the people we immerse ourselves with, and it’s proof of how smug a person can get for doing the “right” thing.
All in all, that discussion was such a revelation for everyone. People really spoke up, and certain people like Doc Leo and Jack drank up. Heh. Ces didn’t have a drop of alcohol, though… but that’s no big deal.
.:Afterwards:.
Ray, Adrian, TJ, and myself got together again afterwards for another meal at Mang Jimmy’s. This time, Marlon, a sit-in, tagged along with us, and we talked about how much we enjoyed the class. At the same time, TJ was giving me advice about how to exploit certain advantages I have… heh. He was really having a fine time laughing about all the hints I’ve been dropping in class, and how he was hoping the alcohol would help me talk a bit more than usual, but no go for that.
Nonetheless, I’m glad how that whole deal turned out. Needless to say, I really enjoyed myself last night in class and the dinner afterwards. We were really talking about how the mainstream and the academe really needs to find a better way to connect with each other, lest the whole “real world” distinction rears its ugly head again, and prove to everyone just how sheltered Ateneans can really get for the most part… it’s too bad, really.
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