Friday, September 26, 2003

I didn't even have any of you jabronis in mind when I did the rap. Please, don't think I'd blow this out of proportion any more than I stupidly did by reacting. I'm not that huge a sap. There's no point in doing so, and if you people want to have your fun by hanging me without a trial, be my guest.

Finally, the segment has been added: "I understand. Sanay na ako, eh."

Why wouldn't I understand? Bottomline is: I am respecting YOUR wish. I don't care if that wasn't word-for-word YOUR wish, but as leaving you be for now aids in fulfilling it, why not? Is that so wrong? The only mistake I conceivably made here is that I actually bothered reacting and letting you people have more to say against me, more to bring me down with.

Is it JUST about the birthday? Hades, no. I'm cool with that if you can't go. I'm cool with you wanting to be around your brother. Did I take offense? No.

So yeah, I'm wrong in thinking you had problems with me. Bottomline? I respect that. It's your deal to harbor anything against me. Anything at all. 'Sides, I think it's better for me to watch my step in the first place.

So... who's wrong who's right? As I can see, it doesn't matter in the thick of the fight.

Whoah... do I even want to tear your group? I had nothing but the best of intentions for all you jabronis. Don't go thinking I'm this little sap who's silly enough to go against city hall. I don't have any motives in dividing any of you whatsoever. Let's not blow things out of proportion by painting me as the ultimate villain here: not only does it not match me, there's no point to my exerting that much effort...

Issues on *jaded* and Abby, etc. Oh, they've been resolved. I forgive, but I never forget. Shame on you if you fool me once. Shame on me if you fool me twice.

Dani? You? Listen to me half-heartedly? That's a laugh. Why don't you read my previous blog entry, for all to see: "guess I owe her big time". I was nothing but grateful to you for listening last time. And don't worry. I won't ask you a favor like that again. Why would I back talk you? What will it gain me, neh? Nothing! So if I've nothing to gain, I've no motive to do so.

Ergo, I've nothing to gain by "tearing down" your barkada. I've nothing to gain by asking Maia to leave her bonding session with her brother. I have nothing to gain by picking a fight with any of you, because you jabronis will easily turn me into the monster I refuse to be once again. What do I have to gain by giving ANY of you threats? Those "threats" were for certain people whose names have already been mentioned elsewhere. I don't see ANY of your names there.

Let's face it: if I've nothing to gain by doing it, why would I do it? Why would I backstab any of you? Why would I try to make myself the all-important link in your group? Would it get me ahead? Seeing as it wouldn't, I see no reason for it. Seeing how you seem to have forgotten that I made it clear enough that whatever was up with Maia at the time, I understood. Maybe I should point that out one more time. Yes. I'm pointing THAT out one more time.

Ergo, as I have nothing to gain by arguing my case while all of you prepare the tar and feathers without hearing me out, I see no reason to entertain this needless argument. What's my problem? What's MY problem? I dunno, but I really was under the assumption that prior to any of this, whatever my problem was, it wasn't about any of you. Nor should it be.

So... if you refuse to listen to a voice of reasoning, if you refuse to realize that the statements you're quoting are more of concern than of spite, if you refuse to put my words in context, Marcelle is declaring a unilateral ceasefire from his side now. You can all have your fun, in whatever form you may see it fit. I give you the right, but you will not bring back the Hades in me no matter what. You want to malign me? You want to insult me, and my mom, maybe? You want to laugh me off as just another dolt who wasted your time? You want to forget about me? That's your deal, and I respect that. But I'm not speaking out in public about this again, because I've nothing to gain by doing it, and my words will fall on deaf ears, anyway.

I'm never talking about this again.

Starting... now.

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