Thursday, November 18, 2004

Posts are now promptly unlocked, for the sake of breathing easy...

.:Today's LSS:.

I know I posted the lyrics to this song ages before, but what can I say? I really love this song...

Everything You Want
by Vertical Horizon

Somewhere there's speaking
It's already coming in
Oh, and it's rising at the back of your mind

You never could get it
Unless you were fed it
Now you're here and you don't know why

But under skinned knees
And the skid marks
Past the places where you used to learn

You howl and listen
Listen and wait for the
Echoes of angels who won't return

He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why

You're waiting for someone
To put you together
You're waiting for someone to push you away

There's always another
Wound to discover
There's always something more you wish he'd say

He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why

But you'll just sit tight
And watch it unwind
It's only what you're asking for
And you'll be just fine
With all of your time
It's only what you're waiting for

Out of the island
Into the highway
Past the places where you might have turned

You never did notice
But you still hide away
The anger of angels who won't return

He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why

I am everything you want
I am everything you need
I am everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
I say all the right things
At exactly the right time
But I mean nothing to you
And I don't know why

And I don't know
Why
Why

And I don't know


.:The Quick Fix:.

I don't want to speak with finality on anything. But then, I simply realize that there is a lot of rebuilding to do from where I last left off. I realize this is far from over, but I also know that I've gotten somewhere yesterday. My thanks to Jonsi and Jess for all the kind words. It really helped alleviate the tension of the whole thing.

Thank goodness for Wednesdays. Wednesdays always put me in a good mood, if only for the fact that Waveback is my favorite time to do a radio show.

I poured my heart out yesterday in hopes of reaching a resolution. I was honest. Brutally honest, in some respects, in fact. Even then, I feel that I was justified in doing what I did. Otherwise, I believe that I would've ended up going around in circles if I never threshed out the issues that I did yesterday. The least I can do is be more honest about where I really stand, and strike a balance between being frank and being civil. I don't want to hurt people. Unfortunately for me, inasmuch as I value few things over my autonomy, I likewise value few things over people I call “best friend”, or even simply friends.

Jonsi said it was “admirable” how I simply couldn’t help but empathize with my friends, no matter how much they hurt me. I retorted that it was more like I was being stupid. I don't know... I figure it is being stupid... but I still persist, anyways.

I realize that I have a long way to go to ever earn my keep as a friend. I guess a part of me still despises myself for empowering people too much to the point that they have such an unfair hold over me. I just don't want to have to be hurt this much again in the near future. I don't want to have to take the bullet again so soon. I hope this is simply not too much to ask of the people I give a damn about.

I'm tired already. Everything has been going haywire lately, and my feelings have been helter-skelter. Inasmuch as I wish to be there for the people I care about, being hurt by these very same people rips a part of me to pieces. It's difficult to rebuild that, sadly. I have to be honest: I can only try my best.

.:Oops:.

I found out yesterday that “You Got It Here” is definitely not a good song for a guy to dedicate to a girl, in whatever capacity. It's just plain wrong. I should've listened to the lyrics better. Oh, well... that's too bad, but what can I do, neh? It’s not everyday that a DJ messes up a song this way…

.:Quick Drop-By:.

Amusing, really. In the middle of my boardwork on WAVE with Jda (She switched with George.), I made a quick trip to the 17th floor to go and ask Chico for tickets to this Saturday’s Tea Party (At long last!). was there, and it was really nice to meet her after a long time of being far and away from RX.

In any case, it was fun, really. I was still fairly known by the people in the station, although the usual girl at the front desk, Charlie, was nowhere to be found this morning. Oh, well. Still, it was a good time to pass by RX, to say the least.

.:Fun:.

Dr. Ibana’s jokes are beginning to sell with the students. At the same time, I really like how well he’s been interacting with them lately, especially with his terno comment:

Dr. Ibana: Siyempre, mahirap ang maghanap ng katerno sa iyong bagong-biling damit. Ang ginawang negosyo ng dating estudyante ko ay isang tindahan na kung saan lahat ng damit ay nakahilera na at magkakaterno at magkakulay namagka… hindi pala. Baduy iyon.

The class had a kick with that one.

I had my “perk” in class again today… the one I mentioned last time about me sitting up front on the wooden platform. Too bad I can’t quite exploit it… it’s Ethics class, after all… ;)

.:Smacketh Down:.

I've been playing the new Smackdown game, and it's amazing. I realize some stuff in the game tend to get repetitive, but it's all right. I just figure to unlock all the unlockables, then I can leave that game behind. It also looks like there are a lot of interesting CAW's out there in the game that I can try to make. For instance, there's Austin and Goldust... we'll see. I really like how this game goes, and I really like some of the subtle changes they made in the game system.

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