Wednesday, May 28, 2003

If someone would be kind enough to give me the names of the cast and characters for The Core and Johnny English, I will be off to write my reviews on the two movies already. I am completely bypassing my review of “I Spy”, simply because with all the better movies I have in my hands to review, I Spy will be too much of an eyesore to talk about… and yes, I know I’m very generous with my ratings, but I’m not that hard to please with movies, anyway. Nonetheless, I also feel like doing the Top Five again, but I suppose that’ll have to wait for Friday.

I just had this really insightful notion… for the longest time, I was overeager to be a friend. I tried too hard to belong, and it did me more harm than good (The loner piece will have to wait. I’m in good spirits right now, you see.). Yes, I’m a loner, but while that has a lot of drawbacks to it (Which, again, I will get into some other time.), I at least gain some measure of respect by not trying to push my envelope too much. I realize that in the past (A past that I still battle to keep it from resurfacing.), I managed to suffocate my friends (Methinks smother is a better word.), and it took a certain event to make me realize what made me such a bad friend…

You might say that the attitude adjustment had a lot to do with that event, plus you might point out that the demeanor I assumed was something Sacha could’ve taught me to do, but then, regardless of how or why, I did work on this. I would like to think that since then, I’ve been somewhat of a better friend. I’ve learned to maintain a safe distance, and only come to one’s aid when beckoned. No, I’m not exactly a dog like Charlie (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.), but I seem to have a more apt metaphor for how I have been. Take it as you please, but I take it positively.

You see, Marcelle is a gargoyle.

A what? A gargoyle. Yeah, I know it sounds weird, but hear me out here. I’m sure you know what a gargoyle is. I suppose I can identify very well with one, because a lot of people are afraid of me. This is probably because I have a rather intense personality, and my weirdness, if one isn’t accustomed to it, might seem to border on the psychotic. Gargoyles have this larger-than-life aura, yet in spite of that, they just don’t stand out. Only when we take notice of them do we recognize how fearsome they actually are. And we know gargoyles are scary-looking most of the time, sans the three ones hanging around with Quasimodo in the Disney movie… but I digress.

Indeed, I may seem intimidating (Especially when I’m angry, but that’s a rarity.), but like a gargoyle, I am a guardian, not an oppressor. Remember: gargoyles are usually found in churches, as sort of a way to drive away evil beings. I can relate to that, as I find myself in the company of strong personalities who would benefit more from my standing in the background for them than from my coming to the forefront with them, which saves me all the effort and gives them all the credit. Some call themselves gods and goddesses. Some call themselves Rushers. Some call themselves OBers. Some call themselves Ateneans. One calls herself my girlfriend. These are all people that this gargoyle happens to be watching over.

Like the gargoyle, I am there for the Ministry. All the time. I have yet to see a gargoyle leaving its church without force. :laughs: Nonetheless, I do believe that this analogy really does fit well… I’m not comfortable with calling myself a guardian devil, so I’d rather call myself a gargoyle. It just sets everything I’ve been doing in perspective, and keeps me from wanting more than my fair share of the spotlight- a spotlight I have learned to use to my advantage… and to avoid to my benefit.

And that, my friends, is true.

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