Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Two Film Reviews...

.:Film Review: Music And Lyrics:.

Music And Lyrics
When it takes two to tango...

It's a date movie. That's what this film is in a nutshell, but it's a great date movie.

Hugh Grant plays an 80's has-been who's been a member of “PoP”, a new-wave group whose claim to fame were tight-fitting pants and big hair. In this day and age, he is now a throwback attraction, doing little more than reliving his old glory days.

In comes Drew Barrymore, who plays the girl who waters his plants. In the middle of coming up with a song for the biggest pop star in the industry who wanted to have a duet with him, she ends up coughing up lyrics that have been far better than the lyricist they hired, and so the two of them end up making a collaboration.

The thing is, she has been dealing with a lot of issues. She just came from a bad relationship where the guy ended up using her as a fictional character spun around to make her look like a conniving seductress, and her self-esteem has been shot. Hugh, on the other hand, has been feeling the crunch of simply not being good enough as a solo act to come up with an actual hit.

As they made beautiful music together, creative differences between the two ended up driving them apart just when they were falling for each other. Out of spite, she ended up watching the concert, and just when she thought she was stricken off the credits for the song she wrote with him, it ended up being a real song he composed. For her.

To make it even better, the song they made together remained untouched, instead of having the sexually charged performance that it was supposed to turn into...

I'm such a sucker for these films. Hugh and Drew look great together, and the song they wrote, “The Way Back To Love” or something like that, was really catchy. Of course, so was the film's opening music video. Heh. I really don't have much else to say about it, but I just highly recommend this film, to say the least.

In any case, I'm really happy that I got to see the film. It was sappy, cheesy, sweet, and utterly delightful all at the same time... worth a watch with a date, no question about it.

“Fun” Evaluation: A+
“Critical” Evaluation: B+

.:(Incomplete) Film Review: Epic Movie:.

Epic Movie
I left my brain at the door to watch this. My intelligence was STILL insulted.

Read this film review so you wouldn't ever have to bother watching this piece of crap. I'll spoil everything so you know what happens, so you won't feel any desire to see it. I have never seen a movie this bad, and I honestly hope you would never have to bother watching it, much less paying to see it.

“Epic Movie” came from the same guys who brought to us the dreck we've come to know as “Date Movie”, and you can clearly tell that once the Wayans left the writing team, the “____ Movie” franchise just floundered and floundered.

There are films that are so bad it's good, and then there are just films that are so bad. Epic Movie is in line with the latter, a contrived, utterly unfunny excuse for film that no doubt would make money because people are suckers for movies like these.

The story is like this: four orphans from different walks of life come together after finding the Golden Ticket in candy bars that sends them to Willie's Chocolate Factory. They find a way to run off into Gnarnia, where they must fulfill the prophecy of liberating the enchanted land from the Evil White Bitch. In the middle, we have dance numbers, idiotic spoofs and “cameos”, and every other unfunny idea you could come up with.

It's a movie not worth your time. When their idea of a punchline is to simply throw an impersonator in, you know someone doesn't have any idea how to write comedy. When their idea of spoofing an epic movie is to put in a Borat impersonator, then you know someone doesn't have any idea what an epic movie is. How could you parody a parody in the guise of calling said parody an “Epic Movie”?

The story is paper-thin, the jokes are not even funny (And it's easy to make me laugh, for crying out loud.), and they can't even come up with a punchline other than throwing in another impersonator as a reference to the movie being parodied. There is absolutely no point to watching the film.

This is the first time I ever ended up walking out on a movie in my life. It's that horrible. I couldn't take sitting through it at all.

“Fun” Evaluation: F
“Critical” Evaluation: F

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