Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Lyrically Speaking Scribbles Part V, And Then Some...

.:I Wanna Link-Love, But...:.

Do I really have to hardway code all the links? Is there a shorter way to that? As you can tell, I've always been hard-coding all my HTML, so any shortcuts to display the x-ty or so bloggers who showed up on my blog would be appreciate.

Help? Please?

.:Lyrically Speaking Scribbles, Part V:.

Here's a song I should've known a long time ago. Rest assured that this song isn't 100% autobiographical (My Beloved is not a waste of time, for the record.). Right now, it's really more of an introspective look at how a fine line can separate two entirely different and contrasting things.

But hey, since I'm on an Avenue Q kick lately, I may as well get this one out in the open...

There's A Fine, Fine Line
Avenue Q Soundtrack

There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend;

Sometimes, the line is so fine, it's so hard to tell. Is that kiss on a cheek just your way of saying you care? Is that hug merely a reminder that she's safe in your arms?

When are flowers really just a show of appreciation and nothing more? When are presents just for remembering an important day and not a hint that deeper feelings are involved.

Where do you draw the line between loving a friend and being in love with someone?

There's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend;

Sometimes, we make concessions over reality and pretend and blur the line even further. We make assumptions, we jump to conclusions, we formulate extrapolations, and at the end of the day, we no longer know if what we "know" is true, or merely conjecture.

Is instinct reality? Is learning to be content with what you have merely deceiving yourself? Sometimes, it can be difficult to tell.

And you never know 'til you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb.

But what if you never reach the top? Or what if it turns out it's not worth it?

Do you play the blame game? Do you become bitter and jaded? Do you decry whatever you sought out to be overrated?

Or do you appreciate the journey in and by itself and not dwell too much on the summit when the climb itself was breathtaking?

If you got to the point and discovered it wasn't worth it, does it invalidate everything you went through to get there?

Back then, I was foolish enough to think it would. Now, I know better. It doesn't. It shouldn't. If you truly loved, saying goodbye, finding someone else does not render untrue the fact that for a point in your life, this certain someone was your world, and meant everything to you.

There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.

How long must you hold on before you realize there's nothing left holding on to? How much pain will you have to endure before you recognize it's over?

Must you while your life away in the hopes that she'd come around?

Or would you not be best served to open your eyes and your heart to someone who would not make you feel like you are just wasting your time until the right one comes along?

It's a fine, fine line, but it's one worth treading if you wish to find that one for you.

There's a fine, fine line between a fairy tale and a lie;

Fairy tales exist and happen for as long as you're not in it alone. When it is all a construct in your own mind and nothing more, it becomes a lie. It's a fine, fine line, and the differences are very subtle.

Fairy tales are real. A Cinderella can find a Prince Charming.

Despite that, to say that they would live "happily ever after" is a lie. What about the Prince's family members? What would they have to say about Cinderella? What about the stepsisters and the stepmother? What of them?

Fairy tales can still come true in this time and age. But unlike the fairy tales we read about, there's no shortcut to getting to "happily ever after" except by living life one day at a time, never losing sight of what matters.

And there's a fine, fine line between "You're wonderful" and "Goodbye."

It's easy to forget things you've said when you fell for someone. It's easy to ignore the countless "I Love You's", the myriad sweet nothings, and the fervent promises made with the stars and the full moon as witness to your solemn pledge of undying love.

As time goes on, and as feelings wane, as inconvenient truths come to the fore and begin to tell both of you how you've bitten off more than you can chew, promises are conveniently forgotten, words are haphazardly jumbled, such that "Forever" becomes "For a while" and then "Never"; such that "Yes" becomes "Maybe" and then "No"; such that "I love you" becomes "It's not you, it's me"; such that "I'm sorry" becomes "It's your fault".

It's a fine, fine line. The transition is barely noticable, yet it clearly rears its ugly head when hindsight begins to wax nostalgic.

I guess if someone doesn't love you back it isn't such a crime,
But there's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of your time.

How long must you be on your knees, praying she would come around? Will true love truly conquer all, or will the harsh pangs of reality slap you in the face and remind you that you can't let your life pass you by, all for someone who fully intends to let her life pass her by?

It's a fine, fine line between holding on and wasting your time, and at some point, you have to step back and ask yourself where you stand.

For your own sake, figure it out!

And I don't have the time to waste on you anymore.
I don't think that you even know what you're looking for.
For my own sanity, I've got to close the door
And walk away...

It's over not because you don't care. It's over not because you hate her.

It's over because you can't keep on fooling yourself that things can be better if you give it enough time.

It's over because you can't be in this alone for the rest of your life.

It's over because it takes two to tango.

It's not a knock on the other that they can't hold on when you need them to hold on. Nor should it be a knock on you. There are just some things that just happen, and you simply have to recognize them for what they are.

Right love, wrong time.

Right time, wrong love.

Wrong love, wrong time.

Right love, right time, wrong phone number.

Right love, right time, wrong gender.

It takes time, but with time, it gets easier to move on and not blame them for everything going wrong in your life.

There's a fine, fine line between together and not
And there's a fine, fine line between what you wanted and what you got.
You gotta go after the things you want while you're still in your prime...

How many times have you been in a relationship where you don't know if you are or you aren't? How often has it been the case that you wanted something, yet you had to settle for something you ended up with instead?

It's rather complicated, to say the least. When can you say with all honesty that you aren't merely settling for someone when you know you wanted someone else before? Chances are, you can't figure out the answer until it's too late for you to change your mind, and yet, sometimes, just sometimes, you realize for certain it's not settling for someone when that person you are with is someone you've dreamt of for so long.

It's easy to look at the past with rose-colored glasses. Conversely, it's easy to gloss over the present and just say that you're so much better off now. It's easy to fall into the trap of comparing the past with the present and mistakenly thinking one is better than the other.

Why dominate your thoughts with comparisons? Wasn't she wonderful in and by herself? Isn't she wonderful in and by herself? Wouldn't comparisons demean her to merely a hodge podge of variables you assign arbitrary values to in hopes of determining who adds up to something more?

There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.

May all of us find someone worth the effort of finding out which side of the fine, fine line we are on with them.

In a world where everybody hates a happy-ending story, that shouldn't be too much to ask, I hope.

.:Sometimes, A Day. Sometimes, Ten Minutes:.

You know you really care about someone when you would spend six times as much time in transit than you would in their company.

You know you really care when you would travel for half an hour to see someone for ten minutes just to say "hi" and give them a hug to remind them how much they mean to you.

.:Flings Aren't For Me:.

Believe me when I say I tried.

Some time ago, I tried to chuck away my philosophy that I should treat any relationship I have as my last, and just be with someone for its own sake. It's called abusing Kantian reasoning at its worst, but yeah, I did try.

Well, it just didn't work out for me. To be honest, I can't find it in myself to just go out there and go out with someone knowing full well that it's not going to last. I can't get involved with someone and expect that I won't end up investing all of myself into it.

But I tried. I really tried.

But I guess there's still a bit of room for idealism left in my significantly jaded and cynical heart. I guess stuff like truly love only ends up overrated when you stop believing it's worth the esteem accorded to it.

And so now, I end up giving all of myself into something again, and you know what?

It's well freaking worth it.

She's well freaking worth it.

And I wouldn't have changed a thing about it even if Michael de Mesa sent me back in time to do so.

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