Wednesday, April 08, 2009

I Thought Things Over, And...

.:It's Time To Break The Cycle...:.

Tonight, I wanted to write about responsibilities: about how people are responsible for whatever they do or say, whatever medium of expression it is.

Tonight, I wanted to proudly proclaim my being an ethicist and to prove without a doubt that people are responsible for what they have to say in their blogs or journals.

Tonight, I wanted to be a snarky bastard and write another one of those "satires" in a pitiful attempt to have the last word on an issue.

But tonight, I realized, that would be really pointless.

The past few days have seen me turn into quite a big ball of rage, without question. I won't offer any excuses or blame my circumstances for it. I know I am a self-righteous jack@$$ who never knows the meaning of "agreeing to disagree".

As such, I realize that I can be quite pushy at times when I'm trying to explain a point, and for that, I need to apologize to someone I know (I'm not sure if I still have the right to say she's a friend, actually. Or if I ever did.). I want you to know that I was not a "traitor" to anyone, since the other party was fully aware of how I felt about when it came to that other party's actions.

Beyond that, I offer no explanations or excuses. I only offer apologies for ruining your night and pissing you off by being the smarmy prick I can be a lot of the time. I'm sorry. I'm not proud of it. At least, not at this point, since I realized that like I told you, "there could've been a better way to handle things."

And really, I should've handled that better. But I didn't. I'm sorry. I hope you can accept my humblest apologies to you. I'd mention you by name just so you know I'm willing to go out on a limb to set this right, but I'm not so sure if you'd appreciate that.

For now, I just think it's time I stopped going to bed angry at the world and angry at myself, and apologizing to you for being insensitive and bullheaded is the first step towards that.

I'm sorry.

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